Chapter 29

Kurt was groaning into his pillow before he even realized why he was awake. The jarring cries coming from the baby monitor on Blaine's side table were unrelenting, and Blaine sat up with a sleepy grunt. He looked around the room in disorientation before he lifted the blanket to climb out of the bed.

“Oh my god, Blaine,” Kurt said, his voice coming out rough with sleep. “Has he stopped at all tonight?”

Blaine replied with a grunt that probably meant the negative.

Kurt let out another groan as he let himself fall back onto his pillow while Blaine stumbled towards the door.

In the initial week after Oliver had come home from the hospital, Kurt had entered a state of overconfidence. With both Kurt and Blaine's attention solely being on learning to adjust their schedules so that Oliver was taken care of, they fell into an easy pattern of Blaine learning to care for his son, while Kurt tried to put his attention towards looking after his still recovering boyfriend, and making sure the apartment didn't fall into levels of complete disrepair. Blaine maintained his opinion that he was the one who should be taking on the responsibility of caring for Oliver, and if Kurt felt a sting of disappointment at his lack of input in Oliver's care, he could push it to the back of his mind in favor of cuddles and playtime with the baby instead.

But just because Blaine wouldn't allow him to partake in midnight feedings didn't mean that he was exempt from the sleep deprivation of new parents. This became apparent as Kurt's leave ended and he returned to his normal work hours and full days at the office were added to long nights.

Kurt could hear the sounds of Blaine arriving in the nursery from the baby monitor that Blaine hadn't switched off, and the cries continuing to pierce through Kurt's daze.  Kurt rolled over and pulled his pillow over his ear as he tried to fall under again, but now Kurt could hear Blaine singing a soft lullaby on top of Oliver's screams.

When Kurt walked into the nursery only an hour later, it was to find Blaine sitting in the armchair with Oliver on his chest, staring out of the window in a daze. Oliver wasn't asleep; his eyes were closed but he was squirming in Blaine's grip as though trying to escape the hold.

“Won't sleep?” Kurt asked, walking over to the armchair and trying to take the squirming baby from Blaine's loose grip. He lifted the baby to his own chest, and Oliver's bright blue eyes looked up at him for a second before he opened his mouth to cry once more. Kurt quickly placed the baby back onto his exhausted boyfriend's chest, and Oliver's cries quietened to displeased moans.

“I swear I haven't gotten more than an hour's sleep tonight,” Blaine said, his voice coming out strained.

“I know,” Kurt said, thinking of his own blood shot eyes and pallid skin. There was only so much damage control he could do before work.

“Do you have to leave already?” Blaine asked, bringing a hand to rub soft circles onto Oliver's back as he spoke.

“It's already 7:30, honey.”

“Damn, is it? I don't know how I'm going to make it through today.”

Kurt can't help but start to resent the statement as the day went by. Things at the office had been going well since he'd returned from his time off for Oliver's birth. He'd been given hugs and pats on the back from excited coworkers and passed around his phone to display photos of Oliver in the hospital cot, in Blaine's arms, resting on his own shoulder. But as the days passed, fresh gossip had replaced his news, and his new responsibilities had been mostly forgotten.

Expectations about the standard of his work, however, hadn't changed, and with only a few hours of sleep under his belt, as well as little opportunity to work late or bring his work home with him, he was struggling to maintain his usual pace.

After a long morning of trying to finish the work he'd hoped to have done the night before, he was struggling to keep his eyes open in his afternoon meeting. When Marcia finally let them go some time later, Kurt couldn't have told you what the meeting was even about.

He was almost out the door before Marcia's voice stopped him. “Kurt! Just a second,” she said, and Kurt's stomach dropped.

She gestured for him to sit down again, and as he did, she moved to lean against the table. Kurt expected some sort of chastisement for how off his behavior had been, but instead the look she offered him was worried.

When she spoke, her tone was soft. “I know you've had quite an adjustment to get through, Kurt. How are you holding up?”

“I'm fine,” Kurt responded immediately. When Marcia gave him a stern look, he added, “Tired. Oliver hasn't been sleeping well the past few nights, but last night was really bad.”

Marcia gave him a pitying look, and when she spoke again her voice was obviously meant to be soothing. “It must be tough, having a new baby and trying to keep up with everything here. But I can tell it's getting to you, Kurt.”

Kurt flinched a little at her criticism, subtle as it was, but she must not have noticed because she went on.

“If you need to cut back on some of your responsibilities right now, it's not an issue. God knows John needs to get his act together, and if I added him to the new project the workload might be more manageable right now-“ but Kurt cut her off, panic rushing through his system.

“No, no,” Kurt said, and he knew he sounded distressed, but he couldn't seem to remember how to calm his tone. “I'm fine, this is my project and I don't need anyone else.”

“Okay, okay,” Marcia said, putting her hands up in defense. “It's your call, Kurt. If you think you can handle it, I'm going to trust you on it. But if at any stage it gets too much to handle, don't hesitate to come to me.”

With a tilt of her head, Kurt knew he was dismissed, and he gave her a strained smile before leaving the room, his chin lifted defensively in the air.

When he made it back to his desk, he immediately called out to his assistant, and if his voice was snappier than usual it went unchallenged. “I need coffee.”

When Kurt walked into his building that evening, his mind was still so filled with fabric samples that he wasn't sure if the spots in front of his eyes were from the incoming polka dot trend or exhaustion. He opened the door to Blaine's apartment, dropped his keys into the small bowel on the side table-his addition to the apartment- and then started making his way towards the kitchen. He stopped and turned when he saw Blaine exaggeratedly tip toeing his way out of the nursery before closing the door softly behind him.

And there was complete silence. Not a single cry.

Blaine grinned at him coquettishly, despite the clear exhaustion in his eyes. “I am the baby whisperer.”

Kurt gave him a grin. “Yeah, having a one sided conversation about the merits of a full night sleep are enough to knock anyone out,” Kurt said teasingly.

“Oh no,” Blaine said, walking over and putting his arms around Kurt, letting him support his weight. “I gave up on that. Today I settled on crying louder than him until he gave up the game and went to sleep.”

Kurt chuckled, but rubbed a hand up and down Blaine's back. “Tough day, huh?”

“Is it too early for adults to be in bed?”

“Way to early,” Kurt responded. “Let's go.”

“I love you,” Blaine said, relief in his voice.

“I love you, too,” Kurt replied, allowing himself to be pulled away from the kitchen in favor of an early night.

They were already crawling into bed, Blaine wrapping Kurt in his arms when he said, “You didn't say how your day was. How was work?” Kurt thought anxiously of Marcia's concerns, but when Blaine yawned loudly into Kurt's shoulder, he pushed it from his mind.

“Long, but good.”

“Good,” Blaine said, tightening his hold on Kurt before he settled more comfortably under the covers.

He was content in his new routine, but when Oliver's cries lit the monitor again a few hours later, Kurt felt guilty thinking of the quiet of his own bedroom in the apartment next door.