Chapter 11

Kurt had just kissed him. Kissed him. While he lay half naked in a doctors office, with his belly covered in goo. But now he was standing back with an adorable deer in the headlights expression, waiting for Blaine to say something, but no words were coming to him right now.

Kurt was his best friend. He had helped him over and over again, acting as his closest confidant, making him laugh, adding an ease to Blaines life that he had been so badly needing. And Blaine knew Kurt was incredibly attractive; how could he not notice when the first time they met Kurts muscles had been straining through his shirt as he carried a heavy box up two flights of stairs. But Blaine had never thought for a second that Kurt might be thinking about him in any way that was more than friendship. Blaine was off the market; not taken, but as good as while he carried the evidence of his last relationship for all to see. No one wanted to get involved in this mess. Dating a man who was pregnant and recently single; raising a newborn that wasnt their own. Stepping into an already formed family? That was a lot to ask of a new relationship, and Blaine had never envisioned it for himself. As his plans changed to include a baby, they stopped including a partner.

But Kurt was standing in front of him with his eyes full of guilt and a glimmer of hope, and Blaine could so clearly see a future that included them all together; Kurt cradling his son, kissing Blaines cheek as he passed, and Blaine allowing himself to feel this emotion he was keeping suppressed inside him while he waited for a better time to love.

Before he allowed himself that, though, he had to know that Kurt would be in it for the long haul, and that he knew what he was getting himself into. He had refused to make concessions that would hurt his son in the past, and he would not start now. Kurt had to know that it would not just be Blaine involved, but an innocent child that would be hurt if he changed his mind.

"We need to talk," Blaine said, lowering his hand from his lips as he said it. He could feel the last traces of the kiss leaving his lips, and he longed to press his lips to Kurts again, but he would not allow himself.

"Blaine, I-" Kurt began, but Blaine interrupted him.

"Not here. At home, maybe. Will you come to my place?" Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded, then pointed to the door. "Ill wait for you outside, then," and without waiting for a response, he rushed out through the door, leaving Blaine alone with his thoughts.

Blaine dressed quickly, and met Doctor Harrison to finish his appointment. When he reached the waiting room, he gestured for Kurt to follow him outside. They walked in silence back to the apartment, the silence tangible and the space between them larger than their close proximity should allow.

When Blaine unlocked the door and led the way inside, Kurt began talking immediately.

"Im so sorry, I shouldnt have sprung that on you like that," he said, keeping his distance from Blaine as if trying not to startle him, but speaking in a slightly desperate tone. "Its just that you looked so amazing, and I was so moved by everything that I saw today, and Ive been wanting to kiss you for so long. I didnt even think-" but Blaine had to interrupt at that.

"Youve wanted to kiss me for a while?" Blaine asked, an incredulous note entering his voice at the idea. When? When had Kurt been thinking of his lips and Blaine had not even realized? Was he that oblivious?

"Yes," Kurt answered, who seemed to have missed the look on Blaines face, and was looking more nervous by the second. "But I know that its a bad time, and you have other things to deal with, and even if you didnt, you might not even want me in the first place."

"Of course I do." The words were out of Blaines mouth before he could think, but even as he said them he knew they were right.

Kurt looked up so suddenly he must have hurt his neck. Blaine continued quickly, "Id be so lucky to have you, Kurt, and I wouldnt have paused for a second if it wasnt for Oliver." At this, a look of disappointment came over Kurts face.

"Yes, I understand."

Blaine knew he didnt and was taking this as a swift rejection, so he continued, "I need to know that you know what youre signing up for if you want a relationship with me. Thats what we need to talk about."

Kurt nodded but looked incredulous that Blaine was not brushing him off. Blaine made a movement indicating that they should sit down. The both lowered themselves into chairs facing each other, and Blaine took a deep breath.

"Im having a baby, Kurt. I always knew that I wanted a family, a proper family, and I never wanted a fling. I have to think of what will be good for Oliver, and right for me." Blaine stopped for moment, then captured Kurts gaze with his own, not letting him look away. "Youre also my best friend. I dont want to screw this up. So if you havent really thought this through and we start something and then you change your mind..." Blaine trailed off as he tried to make his feelings known, but Kurt seemed to understand.

"Blaine, please dont think of this as a whim I had in that moment. Ive wanted this for a while, I just didnt know how to let you know without freaking you out, or causing more drama for you to deal with. When I spoke to my dad-"

"You told your dad?"

"Yes. I had to talk about this with someone, and it couldnt be you. Anyway, he told me that I had to be sure of my feelings first, and so I spent my whole trip to Italy getting some distance and trying to clear my head. But Blaine, I knew then that I couldnt stay away from you. The moment I got back I wanted to tell you, but not the way I did. I wanted it to be romantic. And I wanted to let you know how much I care for you, and how I want to be a part of your life in any way you would have me."

Blaine felt breathless. This perfect man was saying the most wonderful things to him, and all he wanted to do was agree to all the things that Kurt was saying, but he had to be cautious.

"It would be really hard," he whispered, keeping his eyes on the table. "I wouldnt be able to do all the things people in a new relationship can do. And my son will always come first. How can I tell you to wait around while I find my footing with a new baby?"

"Blaine, youre not asking me to do anything. Im offering," Kurt answered, and Blaine could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Im not the most patient person in the world, but let me try. We can work this out together."

Blaine took a moment to think of anything else that might be standing in their way, and problems and fights and echoes of past hurt flashed through his mind, but despite that, he knew that he had already made his decision.

"We have to take it slow," he said, and Kurts face lit up with a huge smile and Blaine returned it with only a little hesitancy.

"Of course," Kurt agreed immediately. "But I can ask you out properly, right?"

Blaines smile grew and he nodded his head.

"Blaine, will you join me for dinner tonight? As a date?"

"Yes, I will," Blaine replied, surprised at how quickly he was falling into their easy camaraderie once more. "Your place?"

"Nope," Kurt replied at once. "Im taking you out. Ill pick you up at 7." And with that, he got up and made his way towards the door, but Blaine quickly followed, an idea forming in his mind, not allowing any space for second guessing.

He grabbed Kurts hand before he could walk through the open door, and Kurt looked around at him again. His eyes widened in surprise when Blaine leant in and placed a chaste kiss against his lips.

When Blaine pulled back, Kurts eyes were unfocused and Blaine couldnt help the exhale that left him at the feeling of rightness that overtook him. "Okay," Blaine said, and he couldnt be sure if he was answering Kurts earlier statement or mouthing the feeling that was overtaking him.

It was a few seconds before Kurt unsteadily made his way out of the apartment, and Blaine shut the door firmly behind him, hiding the wide grin that immediately took over his face.