It couldnt have come at a worse time. One minute hes been booted out of a competition strategy meeting with the boys of glee club, the next, hes slowly descending the Dalton Academy main staircase, watching uniformed students dash off to who knows where. He calls out to someone in front of him. "Scuse me?" And thats when it happens, when the student turns to answer his plea.

(( Wow. ))

It seems loud in his ears, like someone shouted it. In the moment, Kurt disregards it--probably someone behind him taking objection to him pausing on a busy staircase.

"Um, hi," he continues when he has the boys attention. "Can I ask you a question? I-Im new here."

(( God, hes cute. ))

Kurt fights the instinct to look around at whoever practically shouted that at him, or near him, the words ringing loud in his ears. The boy in front of him hasnt said anything yet, so Kurt brushes off the feeling like that comment was about him. Just a coincidence.

The boy hesitates for a half second before smiling and reaching out a hand. "My names Blaine."

"Kurt," he responds, shaking the boys hand. "So what exactly is going on?" he asks, indicating the madness around them.

"The Warblers!" says the boy, quite excited for whatever reason, as he goes on to explain about the all-boys a Capella group and how not unlike rock stars they are. "Cmon, I know a short cut," Blaine says, reaching out and taking Kurts hand. Kurt barely has time to process this--hes holding a boys hand! thats never happened before!--before hes being pulled along by this handsome stranger through the beautifully adorned halls of Dalton Academy.

When they reach the performance space, packed with high school boys awaiting a good show, Kurt pales. "I stick out like a sore thumb."

"Well, next time dont forget your jacket, new kid," Blaine says, and fixes Kurts lapel that had gotten pinned under his book bag strap. Kurt blushes, because never has anyone half as good looking as Blaine payed him a scrap of attention before. "Youll fit right in," he says softly, smiling brightly and giving Kurt a light clap on the shoulder. Kurt smiles back like a reflex.

Some of the boys start in on the background vocals. Blaine says, "Now if youll excuse me," and, to Kurts surprise, steps in front of the band of singing boys and opens his mouth and starts singing.

(( This is for you, Kurt. ))

He hears it halfway through the performance, and Kurts smile drops off a bit as he carefully looks around at the other boys, but they all seem to be enjoying the performance. It sounds like Blaine just called out to him--he knows its his voice, now--but...Blaine is clearly singing. He cant be speaking at the same time. Plus, the words are like an echo in his head. It doesnt sound like normal speech.

Oh my god, I am delusional. Or wishful. Probably both.

Blaine continues to smile and sing at him, so whatever. Hes Blaines anchor for this performance, he should enjoy it. It might as well be dedicated to him, just like his crazy, delusional mind wishes it to be.

"My heart stops--when you look at me," and the lyrics doubly echo in his head as just Blaines voice when the singer turns and grins at him. Kurt cant help but respond with a smile of his own.

Its a pleasant sort of daydream, so Kurt will allow it. As long as he doesnt act on these subconscious, made-up flirtations (dear lord, he doesnt need another repeat of Finn or Sam...), he can enjoy them.

Its quiet in his head after that, but Blaine keeps looking over at him amid the praise and congratulations after the performance ends. It speaks louder than words.

*

So, yeah, hes a spy. But Blaine knew that the second they had met, of course he had, hes a pathetic spy, Kurt thinks, as Blaine passes a latte from the cafeteria across the table to him.

"This is Wes and David," Blaine introduces like a pure gentleman.

But in his head, the random additional commentary of (( superbros for life! )) rings loudly and happily and, okay, now his mind is generating ideas that have nothing to do with Kurts hope that Blaine could find him attractive? What the hell is going on? But, he figures thats some borrowed charm left over from Sam Evans personality, and that dorkiness seems pretty cute in his head, even if it doesnt at all fit the image of the perfect dapper gentleman in front of him. Anyway, he rolls with it. Hell just have to accept hes in a weird place right now.

"Its very civilized of you to invite me to coffee before you beat me up for spying," Kurt says, joking, but keeping real worry out of his voice.

"Were not going to beat you up," the Asian boy--Wes, answers immediately. For some reason, Kurt trusts him.

He hears the other boy, David, laugh at the insinuation. "You were such a terrible spy, it was sort of...endearing."

Seriously, what kind of teenager talks like that?

(( Never should have told them I thought Kurt was endearing. I will never hear the end of this... ))

Kurt looks immediately over at Blaine, sipping his coffee and noticeably not saying those words he heard just now in his crazy, crazy head. Oh well. Hell be consulting WebMD and Wikipedia afterward to dive further into his apparent psychosis.

"Which made me think that spying on us wasnt really the reason you came," Blaine says, putting his own coffee down. Kurts mind flashes to McKinley, and Karofsky, and the smell inside of garbage bins, and hard shoves and bruises, and so many, many eyes not seeing any of it. And so many eyes that see it, and do nothing.

"Can I ask you guys a question?" Kurt asks, feeling silly before he even says it but needing to get it out there anyway. "Are you guys all gay?"

They laugh, then, and Kurt tries not to take offense. Okay, it was a silly question, maybe, but totally legit.

(( Seriously adorable )), he hears. Shut up brain, Kurt wants to say.

"No." Blaine answers. "Well, I am. These two have girlfriends."

Oh, well, at least his gaydar had improved despite his thought process going a bit off-kilter.

"This is not a gay school," David says. "we just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy."

"Everybody gets treated the same, no matter what they are. Its pretty simple," Wes adds.

It is pretty simple, in a perfect world. In this one, its quite unbelievable.

(( No...Angel, dont. ))

His eyes are moist, and his head is spinning, and he doesnt have it in him to ruminate on his latest thought or what it could mean. Because all this time, he could have been safe. It could have been easy, and simple, and why the fuck can people not understand how simple it could be?

He cant respond for a moment. His heart feels so heavy as he stares off somewhere beyond that little table, lost in his thoughts. He wants to say something. He does. But no words are leaving his mouth. He doesnt know what he can say to that.

He barely notices Blaine speaking up, and Wes and David excusing themselves and leaving Blaine and him alone at the table.

"I take it youre having trouble with school."

(( Ugh, I sound a therapist. ))

Kurt doesnt even bother to yell at his head that yes, *he* does sound like a therapist. Wrong pronoun, brain.

"Im the only person out of the closet at my school," Kurt says, feeling a tear escape and roll down his cheek. "And I...I tried to stay strong about it..."

(( dont cry, Angel, please dont cry, dont cry, youre safe here, its okay, please dont ))

the thought sounds disjointed, and almost panicked, and if it werent for it being said in Blaines voice--and that Angel thing again--it could have been his own thought, telling him in the kindest way possible to keep it together. At least having fake inside-his-head Blaine say it like that is better than the mental slap-in-the-face he would have given himself. He tries to stem the tears.

"But..." Kurt continues, "theres this neanderthal whos made his his mission to make my life a living hell. And no one seems to notice."

(( Im in way over my head )), the voice in his head says, and Kurt sighs, because, yeah, Blaine probably would be thinking that. Kurts so ridiculous, crying and unloading this drama onto a stranger. But he cant help it. He has no one else.

But instead of just waving off Kurts concerns or politely excusing himself to leave Kurt alone with his own pain, Blaine just responds, "I know how you feel. I got taunted at my old school and it really..." he pauses for a half-second.

(( fucking sucked )), his mind adds in Blaines tone.

"Pissed me off," Blaine concludes. "I even complained about it, to the faculty? And they were sympathetic and all, but you could just tell that nobody really cared, it was like... hey, if youre gay, your lifes just gonna be miserable. Sorry. Nothing we can do about it."

Yeah, that all sounds pretty familiar.

"So I left," Blaine says. "I came here." He sighs. "Simple as that." Kurt has the impression that it wasnt that simple; it was never that simple.

Blaine encourages him then to refuse to be a victim, to call out his tormentors, to show Karofsky that--in Blaines words--"prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt." Blaine expresses his regret that he ran away to Dalton, that he regretted never having his chance to confront his own demons.

Kurt goes home that afternoon with a new contact in his phone, and some interesting advice, and the knowledge that he is a little less alone than he previously imagined.

He forgets all about the aural hallucinations in his head, for the moment.


*


Kurts hands are shaking in the boys locker room two days later. He takes out his phone and without thinking too hard about it, calls the first person that comes to mind.

"Kurt?" the boy asks when he answers the phone.

"Something happened," Kurt swallows. A little wrecked, he adds, "I need help."


*


The next day, they try confronting Karofsky about his assault on Kurt, and what that means for the closeted footballer. Karofsky, obviously, is having none of it. The larger boy definitely looks like hed rather not have this conversation out in the open, on school grounds, and Kurt is about to say they can take this elsewhere before Karofsky has Blaine pinned up against the meshed metal fence. Blaine looks calm enough, his hands up in the universal gesture of non-aggressive actions, but Kurts mind fills in the blanks.

(( pleasegoddontnotagainIcant ))

Its so fast, Kurt hardly thinks before he puts himself between them and forces Karofsky off and away from Blaine. "You have to stop this!" he shouts. The larger boy seems conflicted for a moment at the emotional outburst, and then turns and rushes away from them.

(( God, thank you, Jesus, Kurt-- ))

Its a mess of thoughts. Blaine says, a little too flippantly to be genuinely casual, "Well, hes not coming out any time soon."

Kurt sighs, and goes to sit on the steps. When Blaine joins him, Kurt tells his new friend that Karofskys misguided attempt at letting out his frustrations also just happened to be his first kiss with a boy.

Blaine is notably silent. But of course, Kurt cant seem to keep his additions out of his head, taunting him. Theyre so fast and layered atop on another, like before when he was imagining Blaines inner distress, though he can parse them out well enough.

(( Not the time, Blaine. Really not the time. Forget it. You already caused enough damage. Should just kiss him. It would make him happy. It would be confusing. No, thats not helpful. Not something a friend would do. Kurt needs a friend. Never should have sent that text. Stupid advice. "Courage!" Screw Cooper, thats awful advice. Never asking him for advice again. Not some hero. No idea what to do... ))

"Cmon," Blaine says, after deliberating. "Ill buy you lunch."

Kurts a little dazed, at the recent confrontation, at his confession, and his own wild imagination.

For the first time, Kurt is afraid of his own mind.

Of course, Blaine didnt just talk without talking. Of course Kurt made it up in his head. Its too easy to imagine Blaines stalling as some kind of emotional inward struggle between guilt (his text being the impetus for Kurts actions), the budding friendship he wishes to remain loyal to, and his romantic interest.

But...

Kurt has no idea why he imagined a second party in Blaines thoughts. Kurt doesnt even know anyone named Cooper. Anderson Cooper, maybe? Sure. Sure, Kurt. Anderson Cooper, handsome, gay, out, very good at communicating things, first name is Blaines surname. Sure.

Kurts own thoughts overwhelm him at lunch with Blaine that day, afraid as he is to open his mind up to imagining anything else "Blaine" might be thinking.

After that day, he tries hard not to think too much.


*


Despite his best efforts though, when hes surprised and caught unaware, or when his emotional guard is down, his imagination becomes very, very unhelpful.

A week before Christmas break and two days before finals, Blaine tells Kurt to sing with him. Kurts sitting in the common room--empty at this time of night, with all the boarder students either in study groups in the library or hanging out in the dorm lounges, the day students gone home.

They sing "Baby, Its Cold Outside," and Kurt has to shake the feeling that, once again, Blaine is flirting with him in song.

Well, he probably is. Kurt has come to understand that Blaine is naturally very friendly and flirty. He probably doesnt understand what he does to Kurts subconscious, which seems all too happy to fill in the blanks of Blaines flirtation with imagined lust and pining for one Kurt Hummel.

They end the song, dropping down on the couch and grinning shoulder-to-shoulder at each other at the last note, so close that theres barely any personal space at all.

(( Could just lean in. Hes adorable. Would it be so bad? ))

And, alright, Kurt has to nip this in the bud. Its getting way too pathetic for him to be carrying on like this, thinking about what can never be. If Blaine were interested in him like that, he would have said something by now.

Wouldnt he?

When Blaine leaves, he passes Mr. Schuester on the way out. Kurts a little surprised to see him. Usually, Kurts not too fond of the man, and hes not sure how he managed to weasel his way onto school grounds, especially after-hours, but he hasnt seen anyone from McKinley in a couple weeks, and it makes him homesick enough to give Mr. Schuester a warm greeting.

The glee coach asks about Blaine. Kurt sighs and tells him hes in love. Its true. Kurt falls easily. He started falling that moment on the staircase when Blaine took his hand.

Its not as simple or cliched as "love at first sight." Love at first touch, though, maybe? It was like he lit up inside at it, thrilled at the connection of hands, however platonic.

Maybe his subconscious is trying to tell him something. Maybe it isnt that Blaine really believes him to be as awesome as the complimentary commentary that fills Kurts head now and again, in Blaines awed tone: (( hes so smart )); (( hes so cute when he mumbles )); (( Im going to PEE, I can barely keep a straight face, how is no one else dying right now? I hope Kurt knows how hilarious he is )).

Maybe, just maybe, Kurts trying to tell himself to take a chance on something good. Blaine has proven himself to be an awesome friend. They have so many similar interests and motivations. Their sense of humor is evenly matched, Blaine just being a tad sillier and Kurt loving a good witty pun. And Kurt doesnt think it, he knows for a fact Blaine tries to impress him when he hangs out with Jeff and Nick, coming up with silly, dirty limericks and saving the best ones to share with Kurt. Kurt rolls his eyes when Blaines own crinkle up in amusement and he snickers, somehow knowing, despite Kurts reaction, hes slowly winning him over.

Little does Blaine know, he rarely has to try that hard at all.


*


Its nearing Valentines Day, and Blaine is going wax-poetic over the holiday like its going out of style, apparently trying to convince Kurt that its the best day of the year. According to Blaine, its his favorite holiday.

He thinks, maybe Blaine is trying to tell him something by this, talking around it like he is. His mind adds in its own details.

(( Its such a good idea, so romantic. Hell love it. Just have to convince the Warblers. ))

Its a strange thing for Kurt to imagine, not knowing what it means. Its like a riddle his brain just came up with to torture him.

Then days later, it happens. A double-whammy of an epiphany.

Blaines in love.

Blaines not in love with Kurt.

Kurt hears the name Jeremiah in his bead before Blaine even mentions The Gap.

He tries not to freak about it--though at least freaking out about his strangely prophetic thoughts comes with the added benefit of preventing him from stewing in disappointment--but then later, it happens again. Theyre having a conversation with Nick and Trent about Blaines Big Romantic Serenade (a topic of great interest to everyone but Kurt), when Blaines phone goes off.

"You going to pick that up, Blaine?" Jeff asks in amusement.

The buzzing continues, one after another, but its not a call. Blaine rolls his eyes and takes it out of his pocket, just looking at the name flashing on the screen and confirming his suspicions with a nod and a sigh. Kurt freezes.

COOPER, the phone reads.

it rings in his head the same time he sees the name.

"Just my dumb brother annoying me again," Blaine says, and the conversation resumes.

"I, um..." Kurt starts. "Excuse me, guys. I have to go."

Blaine looks over at him, concerned, but Kurt has no time for explanations that he doesnt have. He needs to get out of here. He needs to escape his own head.

He needs to figure out what the hell is going on.


*


Kurt Hummel is sitting in the Hummel Tire & Lube parking lot, hands fixed to the steering wheel and engine running, even though hes parked.

Hes determined to see this through. If he can trust anyone in this world, its his dad. He only hopes Burt Hummel wont institutionalize him for this.

When he walks in, Finn is there, being instructed on basic vehicle maintenance tasks so he can fill in at the shop from time to time when Kurt cant. The tall boy smiles at Kurt when he walks in. "Hey, bro. Havent seen you in a while!" Then Finn notes Kurts downtrodden and worried appearance. "Everything alright, man?"

"Yeah..." Kurt manages to get out. "Just need to talk to dad."

"Well, Burts in his office..." Finn says, his brows creased with worry. Kurt gives him the brightest, most assuring smile he can manage. Its not that good, but it seems to appease Finn, mostly.

His dad is at his desk, sorting through paperwork. Kurt clears his throat and his dad looks up at him, surprise turning into joy. "Hey buddy! I didnt expect to see ya til Friday."

"Yes, well..." Kurt begins, but something sticks in his throat and this is all harder to say than he previously assumed, and he didnt think it would be especially easy at that.

"Whats wrong?" Burt says darkly, sensing Kurts distress like he always has. "Nothing I should be concerned about at that fancy school of yours, right?"

Kurt waves him off. "Its not the school, Dad. Daltons been great. The kids are great. Its just..." How to say this. "Its me."

Burt gets up from behind his desk and walks straight over to Kurt and gives him a big hug, and then makes Kurt sit on the little office couch opposite the chair he moves to sit down in. "Start talkin."

"Somethings wrong with me," he says.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Kurt," his father says. "You hear me?"

"I-I know, Dad, I know, I didnt mean...its not..." Hes never had words fail him like this before. He takes a deep breath and starts over. "Okay. So." He tries to sound a little more upbeat, a little more--hey, isnt this interesting?--and a little less--I am an emotionally disturbed teenager, please throw me in a padded cell. "Theres this thing I do, where I pretend to...hear people, in my head. Like a voice-over in a movie, or something."

He looks at his father and sees something flicker behind his concerned facade--his fathers eyes widening just a little bit, and even a small, momentary, barely-there smirk, pulling at the edge of his mouth before its gone again.

Kurt almost looses concentration for a moment. "Um..." he clears his throat. "So. It was okay for a while, amusing sometimes...but...sometimes what I imagine being said is so accurate its...its impossible that I could have thought it up myself..."

Theres silence for a second or two, before Burt adds, calmly, "like youre reading their mind." It wasnt a question.

"I..." Kurt starts. "Wait, What?"

"Let me ask you something, Kurt. When you say you hear people, you mean theres someones voice in your head. Only one person?"

Kurt just gapes. Hes so confused, but...

"Its Blaine." Kurt says. "My friend at Dalton, Blaine. I hear what hes thinking." He blurts. "Oh God, Dad, how do I know what hes thinking?! Whats wrong with my brain?! Am I sick? Disturbed?"

"Now Kurt, hold on, calm down a sec..."

"How do you know its only one person, dad?" he asks, startled into the thought.

And then Burt smiles. "I told you," he shrugs. "Youre just like your mother." Kurt is utterly baffled by what has just come out of his fathers mouth, so the man continues. "I just didnt know how much you really had in common til now."

Kurt takes a deep breath in, a deep breath out. Then says, as calmly as possible, "explain."

"Your mother had a gift, Kurt," he says. He gets out of his chair and moves to sit by Kurt on the couch. "And it is a gift, son. Theres nothing wrong with you. Im sorry if its a little shocking, but I can promise you, I never woulda married your mom, beautiful as she was, if I thought she had some kind of crazy in her I couldnt handle." Kurt looks up at his dad, trying to see if this is all one big joke hes playing on him, but only sees sincerity and love in his eyes.

"Mom...could hear people, too?"

Burt shakes his head, a small smile on his lips. "She could only hear one persons thoughts."

"Yours," Kurt fills in the blanks. "But, Dad...thats not possible."

Burt just chuckles. "You tell me its not possible, Kurt. Youre the one that hears this Blaine kid in your head." His expression goes serious at his own words. "This kid...he play for your team?"

"Dad," Kurt says, embarrassed. "He does, but he doesnt like me, at least not that way, so can we just...not have this conversation right now, please?" He sighs. "Tell me more about mom? I mean, if I can do this thing...and mom could hear you..." he thinks it over for a moment. "I remember mom telling me she didnt like you when she first met you."

Burt throws back his head and laughs deeply, in a way Kurt barely has ever witnessed before. "Yeah, she downright hated me when we met," he says with a fond smile. It dampens a little on his next words. "But that was mostly due to us sparring so much. Before that, she was just scared of me."

Kurts brows pull up in confusion. "Scared of you?" He doesnt want to think of his dad as a bully like Karofsky, somehow terrorizing his mother into a relationship. The thought is actually ridiculous, and Kurt throws it away as soon as it occurs, but his fathers words still linger, make him hungry for the story--the real story of how his parents met and fell in love, apparently.

Burt nods. "Well, imagine this. Its high school, and Lizzies captain of the Cheerios, though they were called something different back then, I forget what. I was on the football team. Lizzie was dating the captain of the football team, some senior. She was older than me by a year, and she did not like me."

Kurt smiles, the story instantly familiar to him.

"I was best friends with the guy she was dating. The summer before they got together, we were inseparable. Then the school year started and Frankie--that was his name--spent all his free time with her. I wasnt so jealous but at the time I thought your mom was a piece of work. Frankie always seemed so cowed by her. You didnt get to know your mom very well, but her personality was always a little much. Very opinionated, very funny, very classy and smart. And she was beautiful to boot. It was overwhelming for a lot of guys. No one ever started rumors about your mom. No one dared."

Kurt listens, waiting for what he knows will be the new part of the story, the previously missing puzzle piece that will allow things to start making sense.

"So she comes up to us one day after the game. She ignored me, as usual. I always did the same. But today she was going on and on about something Frankie had done wrong last week, and I didnt say anything, Kurt, but I thought, this girl needs to back off, the man just won a championship game for her."

Kurt loses some anxiety in the moment, and bursts out laughing. "Oh my God," he says. Burt laughs right along with him.

"I swear, Kurt, your mom turned to me with these icy blue eyes and I thought she was gonna murder me. She told me off, saying--and Ill never forget this--Burt Hummel, you can take your nasty attitude and leave us alone! I was shocked. Frankie was shocked. I didnt say anything, I told her. When she started to get fresh again, Frankie also told her he didnt hear me say anything. She was startled at first, I think, then a little scared, then just plain mad. She thought Frankie and I were playing a joke on her. She told us off an ran away."

Kurt doesnt even realize he had his head in his hands, completely sucked in to the story, until his father pauses. "And then what happened?" he asks.

Burt sighs. "What you think happened. She completely avoided me after that. Frankie was a little baffled, but shook it off and they were back together the next week. I gave her a few days and--gentleman that I am even if I did nothing wrong--" he adds with a grin, "I apologized. Or, I tried to. It was hard getting her own her own. Whenever she saw me her face would go pale and shed turn and walk the other way, sometimes before she even saw me. After we got together she told me it was cause my thoughts were so loud, Id be practicing the apology halfway across the school hallway and shed hear me comin."

"Wow," Kurt breathes. He cant say hes not totally scared anymore, but knowing that he shares the same...talent, with his mom, makes it a bit more bearable.

"I got real frustrated after that. Maybe my thoughts were a little furious too, because I just wanted to apologize and get it out of the way so thered be no awkwardness when we all hung out together, jocks and cheerleaders, and my mother always told me that if you do wrong by a lady, you should always apologize, as quickly and earnestly as you can." He laughs softly. "I didnt mean to scare her, but I couldnt help it at the time. I was sixteen and all I was thinking was, damn it, woman, stay where you are so I can just apologize already! One day she came up to me after a game and said so quickly, I forgive you, Burt. Thanks for understanding. Bye!" Burt says, mimicking his mothers quick voice.

Kurt buries his face in his hands. Its the kind of not-so-graceful exit hes also known for when hes nervous and perfunctorily trying to get unpleasant things said and out of the way. He knows hes done that with his dad a few times too, halfway out the door and calling back to his father on the couch, "Going out with Tina and Mercedes might be back after curfew by like an hour or maybe two so bye bye dad love you!"

"A lot alike," Burt says with a smirk. "Anyway, neither of us talked much after that. Your mom always kept me at arms length. She never talked to me if we were hanging out with mutual friends. But, I think she always heard me. And sometimes I would think things that werent nice--always justified, of course, and I never really hid it on my face. Like shed subtly make fun of Frankie--a comment that would go over his head--and Id just think, sure, hes not as smart as you, but then why are you with him? and, hes not a human punching bag, Lizzie, and hes never gonna get that reference. It just irritated me. I think I even thought that, once. Something like, Yeah, youre beautiful, that dont mean you can get away with being so irritating. That of course was followed by one of your moms evil looks. I always thought she had it in for me, and I never knew why."

"I have to tell you dad, this story is pretty epic," Kurt sighs. "I just...how did you guys get together?" How did she tell you, is what Kurt really wants to ask. He needs to know if this is going to potentially blow up in his face, if and when he decides to tell anyone else about his ability. If he decides to tell Blaine.

"Well, your mom, even a bit frightened of me--or the thoughts she probably thought she was hallucinating, of me in her head--she was nothing but determined. And once she could actually hear the things no one else would dare say, all the time in her head, well, her ego wouldnt let her live that down. So instead she tracked me down to let me have it. Of course I had actually no idea what was happening at the time. She just kind of went off, saying stuff like How dare you think those things about me, I am a good person, Burt Hummel, and I dont know how youre getting in my head but you need to cut it out because its not funny." Burt laughs. "I just looked her straight in the eye and said, Lady, I have barely spoken five words to you in my life. Then she told me she hated my guts and that she never wanted to see me again." Burt shrugs, as if thats the end of the story.

"Wait...no," Kurt says. "What happened then?"

Burt sighs, scratches at his chin a moment, mulling something over. Then he gets up and walks back over to his desk. "I dont know if Im the best storyteller, and...if I can trust you with this, Kurt, then you can hold onto this for me," Burt says, opening up a locked desk drawer--one that Kurt doesnt have a spare key for, like everything else in the shop--and pulling out a battered, hard-spine notebook, and handing it to Kurt.

Kurt doesnt open the book. It feels important in his hands, though.

"Open that and take a look. Skip over...whatever doesnt seem necessary. But it kinda bridges the gap from that moment till sometime after we got together." Kurt nods. "Dont think Im too sentimental holding on to it. Its your mother who made the thing. She loved scrapbooks." He shrugs, though Kurt knows the little book means more to him than his father could ever put into words.

"And she wanted you to have this," Burt says, pulling out another item from the drawer and, wow, Burt must have a little world of treasures in that drawer. This time its an envelope, seemingly never reopened after it had been sealed. It has his "Kurt" written on the front, and his mothers loopy signature along the sealed seam in back. Kurts heart leaps to his throat. After years of loving and missing her, now he has this.

His mother gave him this gift, knowingly or unknowingly, but he knows in his gut that this letter is special. It wont just be full of heartwarming sentiment, but instruction. It has to be.

Kurts hand shakes as he takes it from his dad. "Thank you..." he says softly. "Um...I should be heading back to campus."

Burt smiles. "I wont keep ya," he says, moving closer to pull Kurt into a hug once more. "Youre alright, son. You know that now, right?" he pulls back to gauge Kurts reaction, but all the man must see is the big smile Kurt feels pulling at his face, his eyes misting over.

"I know, dad."

"Love you, son."

"I love you too, dad."


*


On the long car ride back to Dalton, Kurt realizes there were several questions he never got around to asking his dad about. Particularly, what it means that his mother only ever could hear his thoughts, and not anyone elses. What does it mean that Kurt can hear Blaines thoughts, and not anyone elses?

He supposes it cant be such a bad fate. At least he doesnt hear Rachel Berrys inner monologue every other second of the day. Or Pucks, thinking about all the women he still hasnt slept with in town. Or Wess. Hes almost 100% sure now the guy lives and breathes for the Warblers and his gavel.

But why Blaine, why now? And how can he control it, stop it from happening? Or, he thinks, perhaps a little deviously, how can he amplify it further?

Kurt shakes the idea out of his head. Thats invasion of privacy. At the very least, he needs to tell Blaine what he can do. He needs to make sure his friend--his best friend, really--can stay on his guard. He really should have asked his father how he felt after realizing what his mother could do; if he ever felt like her hearing his thoughts was a violation rather than a nifty trick. Maybe hell call him later, if the documents hell study tonight give him nothing to work with.

He bypasses his friends in the dorms as they greet them. He has a couple missed calls and texts from Blaine, but disregards them. He spots the boy in the sophomore lounge before he makes it into the junior dorm hallway, and tries to avoid contact. "Kurt!" he hears the boy call. "Wait up!"

Kurt breathes shakily, and prepares himself. Blaine smiles hesitantly as he approaches. "You kind of darted out of here like a bullet before. Everything okay?"

(( Please say everythings okay )), he hears.

Kurt closes his eyes, feeling both overwhelmed by the idea that these are really Blaines thoughts, and a little less crazy knowing hes not alone in his ability.

He opens his eyes. "Everythings okay, Blaine," he says reassuringly, a smile on his face.

Blaine seems to sag with relief. "Well, good."

(( He still looks troubled. Was it something I said? ))

"You dont...think Im being a little ridiculous, do you? With the whole Gap Attack idea?"

Though it hurts his heart to say so, Kurt answers in the negative. "I think youre following your heart," he says, inwardly gagging at his words. "Any guy would be lucky to be serenaded by you, Blaine." Kurt rolls his eyes in an isnt it obvious? kind of way. "I just had some things to do tonight, remembered I had to see my dad. And I really have to catch up on some studying before bed, so..."

Blaine perks up at that. "Do you need a study buddy?"

"What? No, Blaine," Kurt nearly laughs, "I appreciate the effort, but we are not in the same classes, and it looks like youre halfway through a movie night with the guys. Go have fun!"

Blaine looks a little torn, thinks, (( you do such a crappy job at cheering people up that Kurt would rather be alone than hang out with you )).

And Kurt begins to realize Blaine Anderson thinks one way, and acts the other. Blaines thoughts tear Kurt up, and if Blaine only knew how Kurt really felt...

But, all the while thinking it, Blaine is just smiling broadly at him and shaking his head. "Of course," Blaine laughs, ostensibly in a carefree way, and Kurt can hear the hollowness, now, so loud and wrong-sounding in his ears, "cant study algebra when youre in pre-calc. Good luck studying. Ill see you tomorrow at practice!" he says, and then without saying goodbye--just a quick little wave--ducks back into the lounge.

Kurt never believed Blaines pride to be such a fragile thing, and even after several weeks of hearing Blaines inner monologues, Kurts just now understanding that this boy hes fallen for is every bit as capable of being wounded as Kurt. Blaines just better at hiding it.


*


Hes in bed, now, his roommate, Justin, texting him earlier to let Kurt know not to expect him back--his girlfriends parents are out of town for a few days, and theyre taking every opportunity they can. Yeah, Kurt didnt need the winking emoji to figure that mystery out.

The letter is in his hands, and Kurt uses a scissor to cut along the top of the envelope. No way is he going to damage his mothers signature.

He pulls out the letter, which hes sad to learn is not handwritten, but typed. Then he reads the first line of the note and smiles.

My beautiful, darling Kurt,

I know you must be very annoyed this isnt a pretty handwritten letter, because only the most beautiful words are handwritten. But believe me, honey, this comes from the heart. My hands arent as steady as they used to be, so I hope you can forgive me for not writing.

I hope youre old enough when you read this to understand how much I truly never wanted to leave you behind. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.

Kurt tries, and fails, not to cry at that.

I know its scary right now. I know you must feel so alone. But hopefully I can clear some things up, so that the loneliness you feel will abate and dissolve into nothing but love, as it did with me.

Youre special, my Kurt. You always have been. But if youre reading this, it means youre special like your Mamma, too.

To answer your questions--

1. I have no idea how I came to read your fathers mind. I was seventeen when I first heard his thoughts, and I hadnt been able to do anything like it before.

2. Yes, its a very strange thing to know how to do! But being strange isnt necessarily a bad thing. Everyones an oddball in their own way. :)

3. It doesnt work with anyone else, and Im not certain it will ever work for anyone else for you, either. There is an exception, but Ill explain that further along.

4. Im not sure how I received this gift, or power, or however youd like to see it. I used to openly joke about being able to read your fathers mind to every relative I could, but no one seemed to catch on (or if they did, they didnt admit anything to me). So, Im not 100% sure if its hereditary and if it originated with me, but Im guessing not.

I say that because there was one other person whose thoughts I could read. Can you guess who, honey? :)

You probably wont remember, years from when Im writing this, but today I was in bed on my laptop, finishing up some emails, and thinking "I need to start Kurts letter." You wandered in from the playroom, saying, "Mommy, what letter? Can I have my letter now?" I was so shocked. And then I was in tears, laughing when you added, "How long will it take you to write my letter? Im bored."

Kurt wants to laugh too, but instead he puts the letter down for a moment so he can bury his face in his pajama sleeve, sobbing silently. He wishes he could remember this moment, but he cant. He just cant. And he wonders what else hes carelessly forgotten. What things he couldnt be bothered to remember as a child. Just her smell, and her lingering laugh, and her endearments remain vivid in his mind.

So you see, darling, youve had this in you since the start. Youve always been so perceptive. I didnt realize until just then.

My theory is that soon enough, when its the right time, youll meet someone--if youre reading this letter, you already have--and youll instantly be able to hear their inner thoughts, because thats how it happened for me. It was scary, not having anyone to open up to about what I was going through. Eventually I decided to take a chance on your father.

We had a rocky start. As hard as your father tried, I pushed him away. At least, at first. I was so afraid he would find me out and then call me crazy, or believe me and then say I had no right to be reading his mind.

But since that wasnt how it went for your father and I, Kurt, I doubt thats how it will be with the lucky boy whose thoughts you can hear.

Kurt sucks in a breath. Burt told Kurt that he and his mother had known Kurt was gay since the age of three, but somehow having it confirmed that his mother not only knew, but still loved and respected him for it, just like his father does, means the world to Kurt.

Honey, no matter how different you are, know that there will always be people in your life who not only care about you, but who will love you because of everything that you are. So dont be afraid to hide it, and shine bright, my little star. Shine bright for me.

I believe there are things at work in this universe that are beyond anything our human minds can begin to comprehend. But I love your father, Kurt, and I will always love you. Wherever I am, whatever I become, I will always, always love my baby.

This boy, or man, if Im right, hes special. I wish I had the chance to meet him.

If its as difficult for you as it was for me, dont give up! Ask your father for advice; hes known to have some good ideas once in a blue moon. ;) And trust your instincts, your heart. Trust that whatever you have with this man is something special. That *you* are someone special to him as well. Theres always a reason why things happen the way they do, and I hope you learn this in time.

There may be some other surprises in store for you, and some other theories I might have, but...Im not telling! :P Some things are best discovered on your own, and I dont want to spoil the fun. (And if you have some burning desire to ruin the surprise, you can always ask your father. But Ill warn you, Ive put him on strict orders to purposely avoid your questions! I know, Im totally cruel. Its a mommas job to drive their kids a little crazy. And even though Im no longer with you, I didnt want to deprive you of this long-awaited ribbing! (Who else can say they have a mother who teases them from the beyond?)

There are no words for how much it grieves me to see you suffer because of me. I hope in the years to come you dont grow bitter at God for taking me away, or me for leaving you. If bitterness could rewind time, Kurt, Id have never left, and you would always be my little boy.

But right now, you must be brave, and adventurous, like all the brave princes and princesses and knights we used to read about. This is your life, crazy and insane as it is, and you will regret letting it pass you by if you dont grab hold of it now.

So go, my handsome boy, and go get him!

I love you with all my soul,
forever yours,
Mommy

Kurt flips the letter, printed on two pages of paper, desperately searching for one more word--anything. But thats all there is.

Theres so much going on in his head.

His mother could read his thoughts, too.

He could read his mothers.

His mother knew he would fall in love with a boy.

She knew that boy would be special to him.

She was keeping other secrets from him--"surprises," she had called them.

Kurt laughs at his mothers shenanigans. And she made Burt her accomplice! He must have both hated and loved that. His father likes being in on things, but Kurt knows having to hold back so many secrets for so long without telling anyone probably affected him more than Burt lets on. Kurt wonders if part of the reason for their strained relationship over the years was not so much due to the fact that Kurt was still in the closet, but because Burt had been, in a manner of speaking. After Kurt came out, more than a burden had been lifted from the both of them. And then just today, hearing his father laugh like that for maybe the first time...there is still so much there, under the surface, so much for them to bond over still.

Hes getting emotional again when he hears the knock on his door, and very unthinkingly answers "come in," before he can straighten himself out. He quickly tosses the letter and envelope in his nightstand drawer, and wipes at his eyes, though he knows hes a dead give-away.

"Hey, Kurt," Blaine whispers, opening the door just a bit. Seeing the lights all on and Kurt by himself, he slowly enters the room and closes the door behind him. "Didnt know if you or Justin were asleep yet, but I guess youre awake, so I wanted to ask--wait, are you okay?"

Kurt nearly laughs. That totally wasnt what Blaine wanted to ask.

"No, Im not," he answers honestly. "But I will be okay. Better than okay, soon enough, I hope. Just...getting the emotions out, you know?"

(( Not really, I just kind of repress until I go off on someone. Your methods seem more effective )), he hears, and Kurt smiles at the unspoken compliment. He almost wonders why Blaine didnt just say it, but again, their friendship is still very new, and Blaine doesnt like to appear vulnerable. Kurt always believed his crying made him appear weak. Its encouraging to hear that, at least to one person, it isnt the case at all.

Instead of speaking the truth, Blaine just smiles kindly, "I totally get it. Better out than in. Im glad that you expect an upswing in mood. Well need that for our more upbeat competition numbers soon enough." Kurt just rolls his eyes at at. "But, seriously, Kurt," Blaine says, sitting down on the edge of his bed. "If you ever need to talk to anyone...about anything...just because Im into some guy now doesnt mean I dont have time for my best friend."

Oh, how it stings so sweet, to know hes Blaines best friend, but also, to know thats all he can be.

Mom, hes attractive, gay, charming, kind, and everything I want. But he doesnt like me like that, so what do I do? Are we just meant to be best friends forever? Seems like a crappy consolation prize.

"...Kurt?" Blaine asks again.

Oh, yeah, he didnt really say anything to that, did he.

(( God, what did I say this time? Good work, Blaine. He probably thinks Im patronizing him or something, like he needs to talk to anyone, Kurts got his shit together better than I do. ))

Kurt just snorted, shaking his head at Blaine. "If only I did..." he sighs.

"What?" Blaine asks, clearly confused.

Kurt backtracks. "Um, if only I did, need someone to talk to, that is. Of course it would be you." Kurt nudges his arm awkwardly. "Best buddy..." he tacks on.

Yup, someone shoot him. This is hilariously bad.

But Blaine smiles, and pats his knee, and gets up. "Oh," he says, "I really came here to say some of the guys and I were gonna stay up a little later and watch The Princess Bride."

"And this isnt a gay school," Kurt rhetorts.

"Hey, The Princess Bride is for everyone," he smirks. "Now, if youre still awake, I insists that you come watch it before bed."

Kurt smiles and throws back the covers. "As you wish."


*


The Gap Attack is a disaster from start to finish. Blaine is the quintessential performer, but he severely overestimated his intended targets interest. Kurt waits for Jeremiah with Blaine when he could be snug and warm on the bus right now, waiting to head back to campus. Instead hes sitting here with his crush, listening to his outward concerns and his inner fears, both are so caught up in Jeremiah, a guy Kurt is totally sure didnt even exist two weeks ago.

Still, Kurt Hummel is not a fair-weather friend. He will stand by his idiotic best friend until sense gets beaten into him. Luckily, this time, it doesnt need to come from him, as the man himself comes out (and yes, Jeremiah is nearly twenty-one--a fact Blaine neglected to mention before--and Blaine is still miserably sixteen) and informs Blaine of the impossible nature of their supposed relationship and, well, thats it for that.

Kurt cant help feeling a little smug, and a little bad for Blaine.

At the Lima Bean, Kurt goes for truth (a little of it, anyway), feeling that things, now more than ever, have to be said. He will take his mothers advice, and start living his life. Even if he is a little afraid of the outcome.

"You and I...hang out. We sing flirty duets together...you know my coffee order...was I supposed to think that that was nothing?" he asks.

Blaines response, "What do you mean?" is without any additional thought that Kurt can sense, his confusion completely genuine.

Kurt doesnt know if that makes him feel better or worse.

"I thought the guy you wanted to ask out on Valentines Day...was me."

Blaine doesnt say anything to that, and Kurt tries hard to pry his way into the boys thoughts, but theyre so muddled--just Blaine going over the steps that would lead Kurt to this moment, and he almost sees instead of hears whats going on in his head: "Baby, Its Cold Outside," the gentle nudges, the late night chats, the many coffee outings, and then the guilt, so much guilt, built up in layers like paint on a canvas, and the words I didnt--did I? pulling at each memory like a tug of war.

"...Wow," Blaine says softly. "I really am clueless."

In Blaines mind, Kurt almost sees an image of his own face, laughing at something--one of Jeffs jokes, maybe. It feels warm, and tender, and sad. He sees his face again, that close call after their Christmastime duet, sitting on the couch, how Kurt had then imagined Blaine saying Could just lean in. Hes adorable. Would it be so bad?

And that first moment, on the staircase, when he took Kurts hand, and led him away so he could serenade him, thinking this is for you, Kurt and saying so with his eyes, like the goddamned flirt he was. How his friends had teased him about afterward, like the jerks they were.

(( I was so stupid, and careless )), Blaine thinks.

Again, Kurt doesnt know if this makes him feel better or worse. He had hoped with this gift would come insight, but it only seems to illuminate the even bigger mess of confusion under the surface confusion. There never is any clarity.

"Look, Kurt," Blaine says. "I dont know what Im doing. I pretend like I do, and...I know how to act it out in song, but the truth is...Ive never really been anyones boyfriend."

"Me neither," Kurt says, not really knowing what to say to that. Was that an invitation--or a warning to stay away?

"Let me be really clear about something. I really, really care about you. But as you and about twenty mortified shoppers saw, Im not very good at romance." He pauses. He looks so heartrendingly earnest. "I dont want to screw this up."

(( I cant lose you )), Blaine thinks. (( I need you too much. I know Im an idiot. Dont abandon me because of this. Youre all I have. ))

Kurt cant agree with Blaines thoughts. Being needed was important, and yes, Blaine is an idiot and Kurt isnt going to abandon him, but Kurt, loathe as he is to admit it, is not all that Blaine has. For some reason, though, Blaine has placed him at the top of a list of things he could not do without. For whatever reason, that negates being able to have a romantic relationship. For the moment.

Kurt Hummel is nothing if not resourceful.

"So its like When Harry Met Sally," Kurt says. "But I get to play Meg Ryan."

"Deal," Blaine agrees instantly, relieved at Kurts playful tone. They stare at each other a half-second too long, and instead of any conscious thought, he hears Blaine pay attention to the steady thrumming of his own heart beat, just a little too forceful against his chest. Blaine turns away. "Dont they get together in the end?" he asks.

Kurt just smiles, and orders a drink for his friend Billy Crystal.


*


He starts in on the book his father gave him that night. He soon discovers its cover-to-cover filled with lined notebook writing, ripped and cut from what seems to be school notebook pages, some classroom notation still in the corners.

The first small note is written in loopy letters, his mothers.

I need to talk to you, Burt.

Theres smaller writing underneath: his fathers reply

why so you can yell at me again
no thanks!
dont need the drama

Its important. Please?

Another page, another passed note.

I know you dont like me lizzy
just say what you need to here
then you wont have to see me at all

FINE.

(She writes this response with several underlines underneath it.)

A new page.

Im breaking up with Franklin because I think Im in love with you. Also, I can read your mind. I was trying to give you space, thats why I dont talk to you a lot and why I know what youre thinking.

Kurt laughs out loud. Well, thats always one way to do it. He wonders if that method would work on Blaine, too.

yeah ok
ha ha
your a riot

Im serious!!!
Meet me behind the bleachers at four

A new page.

no way youre trouble
you wanna get my ass kicked
whats your game

Youre insufferable, Burt Hummel.

A new page.

yeah? well if i knew what that was, id say youre one too.

God, youre an idiot. Why do I like you?

you send me another note lizzie mason and i swear ill eat it!

That was the end of that conversation, apparently.

The next note has a drastically different tone.

i just got punched in the face by your boyfriend

Burt I am so sorry
hes not my boyfriend anymore

i know
he made that clear
mostly with his fist
youre welcome

Kurt pauses and quickly picks up his cell phone. Hes never been so excited to talk to his dad.

"Kid? You alright? Its 11...something at night," his father says, worried and tired.

"Oh, is it too late to call? Were you sleeping? Did I wake Carole? Sorry! I just--"

"Calm down, kid. You probably did me a favor, I fell asleep after the game. Woulda had a huge crick in my neck if Id been here all night."

"Well...then Im glad," Kurt decides. Not one to waste time, he adds, "So I read moms letter to me. It seems like the perfect introduction to the notebook of what appears to be passed classroom notes."

Burt just grunts. "Different lockers, over different days. Werent in the same grade. No classes together, cept lunch and phys ed."

"Right," Kurt says. "So theres this one conversation that ends when you threaten to eat one of moms notes...?" Burt just groans at that, and Kurt laughs. "Then the next note is you getting punched in the face?"

Burt sighs. "You want the story."

"When do I not want the story?"

"Alright, lets get this over with, nice and quick. So Liz wanted us to meet up, at school. I thought she took me for an idiot, so I said no. But I was sitting in my car after school after practice, and it was pointed to the bleachers. I saw your mom standing there still in her cheer uniform, waiting for me. Or maybe just hoping Id show up. I still didnt wanna go. I didnt know if it was a trap. But when nobody else showed up to talk to her, I got worried. She was there for an hour before it started raining and gettin dark."

"OH MY GOD, did you kiss in the rain? Was it super romantic? How did i--"

"Kurt, hey, hold on there, buddy. Thats...no." He chuckles. "I wish things were easy like the movies. But, when it started to rain I drove up and parked a little closer. She was huddled on the ground, really insistent on staying right where she was, like she knew Id eventually come by. She looked up at the headlights, and I knew she couldnt see through the dark and the rain and the lights pointed at her, but she knew it was me. She just stared me down, and I was all weirded out about it, and then she shouted, Burt, this is ridiculous, come and talk to me, its not a trick. I know its you, I can hear you thinking. I didnt say anything, just thought, no you cant at her. She mouthed back, yes I can. I thought, seven times four is twenty-four," Burt says.

"Its--" Kurt starts.

"--Yeah, yeah," Burt said. "She yelled back, its twenty-eight, idiot and I didnt want to seem too shocked, cause then I knew she really could read my mind and wasnt makin it up, so I tried to look as calm as possible, rolled down my window, and said I knew that. I was testing you. You passed." He laughs. "I told her to get in cause of the rain. I drove her back home, but we didnt really talk. We got to her house, she asked me if I thought she was a freak because she could read my mind. That was the first time I heard her say it was only my mind she could read. Well, that made me feel a little special and made me like her a lot more. She heard me thinkin that. She knew I had a crush on her. I told her I could never think she was a freak, at least not like that, and she laughed, and we hugged, and that was that."

"And then..." Kurt says.

Burt sighs, hurrying through the last bit. "That night she calls Frankie and breaks up with him. Frankie pummels me on the field the next day and punches me in the face. Apparently some neighbor of hers saw us together in my truck when I drove her home and called him. He was mad, he said things; I was mad, I said things. We werent friends after that. A month later your mom and I were going steady."

"A whole MONTH later?" Kurt says, shocked. "Why?"

Burt laughs. "Whys everything got to be done so fast? Yknow, its hard tryina figure out how to date a mind reader. There are unique complications."

"Complications like what?" Kurt asks, but doesnt get an answer right away. "Complications like what? Dad, please, this is probably actually useful information for my life as a mind-reader, please."

He hears his dad yawn on the other end, but it seems a little too well-timed. "Kid, its so late. You and I both need to get some rest. We can talk about this more tomorrow."

"Oh my God, are you avoiding me?"

"Im not avoiding anything," Burt says. "But it is getting late. Maybe if youd called earlier..."

"Then youd just brush me off with a football game," Kurt scoffs. "What are you not telling me?"

"Goodnight, Kurt. Love you, son. Study hard."

"Fine, keep your secrets for now," Kurt scoffs. "Goodnight, dad."