The Consequences of Your Choices

                   Chapter 10 – The Letter

Blaine reads the letter.

Blaine,

   I have tried since the moment I found out you had been injured and were in the hospital in serious condition to get in contact with you. I apologized to you in your hospital room but you probably didn't hear me because you were unconscious. I need to tell you the following things.

   The first and most important thing I want to tell you Blaine is I love you. I love you with all my heart and I always will. I am so sorry for what I did and said to you that night. It dawned on me when you were in the hospital and I didn't know whether or not you were going to live, that if you died the last words you would have heard from me were mean and hateful. Your last memory of me would have been me acting like a spoiled brat and hurting you by throwing roses at your face. No matter what happens between us, I wouldn't want that incident to be your last memory of me.

   I am very sorry you were hurt that night Blaine. Rachel and Finn were right and I never should have kicked you out of the loft. Sending you out onto the streets of New York in the early morning hours is shameful on my part and never should have happened. If you had died from my actions Blaine I would have never forgiven myself and I would have had to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. The guilt I feel now, knowing you were hurt is bad enough. I can only blame my stupidity on the pain I was in from finding out you cheated on me and my heart being broken into pieces. I wanted you to hurt as bad as I did I am ashamed to say. I was also completely exhausted and not thinking straight. I was making decisions and saying things based on my emotions and not logical thinking. I wasn't really capable of making rational choices and decisions at the time. I am very sorry that you ended up paying the price for my poor decisions and behavior.

   Blaine, I am very sorry that I threw the roses you gave me at you and scratching your beautiful face. I saw the deep scratches the thorns made when I was looking at your face as you were lying in your hospital bed. I have never been more ashamed of my actions. No matter what you did you didn't deserve that.

   I came to Orlando because I finally found out where you were. I came here to talk to you Blaine because I need some form of closure so I can move on. I should have asked you this question the night of the fight instead of running, but I wasn't thinking straight. Before I can move on I need to know what happened to us and why you cheated on me. I need to know so I can move forward and start living my life without you. According to your Father you don't want anything to do with me and since you haven't tried to contact me and you won't talk to me I can only assume that your Father is telling the truth.

   Blaine, during this time that we have been apart and not talking to each other I had time to think about you, about me, and about us. I remember you telling me in Ms. Pillsbury's office that you were afraid that I would go to New York make new friends, find a new life, and I would forget about you. I promised you I'd never do that because I love you, but that is exactly what happened isn't it. I just didn't see it until now. During this time apart I have come to realize that I didn't know what you were doing in school or what was happening in your life. I thought about the times we talked or Skyped. I remember talking to you about my job, my projects, sharing my experiences about living in New York but I never took the time to ask you about your life. I didn't remember me listening to you telling me about your senior year and what was happening in your life. I did remember ignoring your calls because I was busy doing something I thought was more important than talking to you. So I guess I answered my own question on why you cheated on me. I now understand what you meant when you said I wasn't there. I couldn't be there physically, but know I see I wasn't there emotionally either and that is unforgivable on my part.     

   Sometimes I wish you had never told me about your infidelity and we would still be together, but then I remember that we have always tried to be honest with each other no matter what. We can't lie or hide secrets from each other because we know each other too well. We built our relationship based on trust, respect , and honesty. So, if I am honest with you and myself then I have to take part of the blame for this mess we are in. I was selfish because I thought my life was more important than yours. I made our relationship a one sided relationship because I didn't listen to you and for that I am truly sorry.

   Unfortunately, I have learned the hard way that I am not perfect. That's a shocker Ha Ha. Blaine, I make mistakes and people make mistakes. I've even learned that a perfect person like you can make a mistake. I learned that life is too short and could be over in a blink of an eye. I need to learn to forgive the people I love and to not hold grudges against them when they make a mistake just like I hope the people who love me can forgive me and give me a second chance when I make a mistake.

   Finally, the main reason I want to talk to you Blaine is to tell you that I love you and I always will. You are and will always be my best friend Blaine, the person who saved me when I was struggling. You are the person who I would place my life in your hands to protect. You are the person I want to share the rest of my life's journey with whether as husbands or best friends. These last few months have been miserable for me and I can't imagine living the rest of my life without you in it in some form, but I will if I must. I know one letter cannot solve all our problems or issues but I would love the opportunity to sit down and discuss them with you and see what we can do together to get our lives back on track.

                                                Love you always and forever,

                                             Kurt

P.S. Here is my number in case you want to talk. 718-555-1234

          Blaine holds the letter to his heart as tears fall down his face. “He loves me, he still loves me.” Blaine says out loud. “I need to find Kurt. I need to tell him I love him too.” Blaine says as he stands up and starts looking around trying to figure out what to do next. Kurt has left and Blaine doesn't know where he went. Blaine sees Sam heading towards him and Blaine runs to Sam. “He loves me Sam! He still loves me. I need to find Kurt. Do you know where he is staying Sam?” Blaine asks. “Blaine, a Pioneer yells. “Come on we are needed on stage right now. They are handing out the awards.” Sam looks at Blaine when he hears. “Sam, where have you been? The New Directions were called to the stage, come on.” Tina yells. Both Blaine and Sam run on to the auditorium stage and stand with their respective teams. The Master of Ceremonies introduces the final three teams. “Please welcome From Lima, Ohio the New Directions. From Ann Arbor, Michigan please welcome the Ann Arbor Academy Pioneers and from Denver, Colorado the Rocky Mountain High Chorus.  First, we are going to announce the Break Out Performer. This award goes to the person who the judges thought gave the best performance. This year's winner is Blaine Anderson from the Ann Arbor Academy Pioneers.” The audience is standing on their feet cheering loudly as Blaine accepts the trophy proudly. He shakes the Judges hands and thanks them before he waves to the crowd. He takes a look at the New Directions who are applauding. Sam gives him a big smile along with his thumbs up. Blaine returns to his teammates who pat him on the back congratulating him on the award. The Master of Ceremonies continues. “These teams are all winners and did a fantastic job. I am happy to announce the following, in third place the Rocky Mountain High Chorus.” A young lady comes to the front to receive their trophy. “This was a very hard decision to make because this was the closest competition in Nationals history. In second place the Ann Arbor Academy Pioneers and the first place show choir is the New Directions from Lima, Ohio.” Blaine and Sam both walk to the Judges to receive their trophies. They hug each other before they accept their trophies. Both teams celebrate their success as the confetti falls all over the teams. After giving the trophy to his teammates Blaine walks over to Sam and pulls him aside. “Sam, I need your help. Do you know where Kurt is staying? I need to find him. I need to talk to him.” Blaine says. “He was staying at our hotel.” Sam says as he looks at his watch. “What do you mean was?” Blaine asks. “He told me he was flying back to New York this evening so he has probably checked out of his room. Listen, I'll call the hotel and see if he has checked out.” Sam says as he takes out his phone and calls while Blaine is thinking about what to do next if he has checked out. Sam ends the call and says. “Sorry Blaine, he has already checked out and the cleaning lady just turned in his cell phone.” Blaine puts his head in his hands and says. “I'm not giving up. Do you know what airlines he was flying on or the time he was flying out?” Sam shakes his head. “I never asked and he never said. Hey, I got an idea. I'm going to call the airport and have him paged. I'll tell him he forgot his phone and we'll bring it to him so he'll tell us what flight he's on.” Sam says excitedly. “Wait a second Sam. Don't tell him that I want to talk to him. Tell him you will bring his phone. I want to make sure he's not mad at me before I talk to him because I told him to leave. Besides I need to do something first before I see him. So go ahead and call him just don't mention me.” Blaine says.

          Sam is waiting for Kurt to be paged. “Hello?” Sam hears in his ear. “Kurt, this is Sam. The reason I am calling is you left your phone in your room when you checked out. I got back to the hotel and asked if you had checked out yet and they said you had but that you left your phone. I'll bring it to the airport if you tell me what airlines you are on and your Flight number.” Sam says. “I can't believe I did that. I've had other things on my mind today and hadn't noticed I had forgotten my phone. The only problem Sam is my flight leaves in 45 minutes and I don't think you can get here before I take off. Why don't you just go ahead and Fed Ex it overnight to me instead. I won't need it until tomorrow anyway. I'll tell Dad pay you back.” Kurt suggests. “Umm okay Kurt, just a second so I can write down your information.” Sam says as he covers up the phone with his hand and explains to Blaine the situation. “Find out the airlines and flight number and I will go and try to get there before he leaves. I can make it from here.” Blaine whispers and Sam shakes his head knowing what he is going to do. “Okay Kurt, I got a piece of paper and a pencil. Oh, by the way what airlines are you taking? We flew down on American.” Sam mentions. “I'm flying out on Southwest.” Kurt says as in the background they announce loading for Flight 215. “Is that your Flight they just called Kurt?” Sam asks worried that Blaine won't have enough time. “No, my Flight number is 545.” Kurt says. “Oh, just a minute Kurt I dropped my pencil.” Sam says as he writes down the information and hands it to Blaine who starts running to the exit to get a cab. “So Kurt, what is the address you want your phone sent to? Oh by the way we won Nationals.” Sam said proudly.