Life Goes On

               Chapter 5 – A Loving Family

Kurt awakes startled by the ringing of the alarm clock. Blaine is still asleep in Kurt's arms as he turns the alarm off, sadly remembering the events of last night. A physically and emotionally exhausted Blaine slept restlessly last night as Kurt can still feel the tension in Blaine's body. Kurt slowly slides away from Blaine and heads to the girl's room to wake Emma for school.

“Emma, Emma,” Kurt whispers and nudges her shoulder trying to wake Emma without waking Elizabeth. “Good morning Sweetie,” Kurt says while lifting Emma up and carrying her out to the kitchen where he sets her down in a chair while he makes her breakfast. “Is Papa up? Do you want to get tickle him to wake him up?” Emma asks hoping to go tickle Papa. “Not today Emma, we are going to let Papa sleep in this morning because he didn't get much sleep last night and he is very tired.” Kurt explains as he places a bowl of cereal and toast in front of Emma to start eating. “I guess he is very tired because he wasn't home to give us a kiss goodnight.” Emma says sadly. “Sweetie, I am sure he didn't want to miss bedtime and kissing his girls goodnight but Papa had to take care of some grown-up stuff that stopped him from being here for bedtime. So maybe you can forgive him for not being home for bedtime and goodnight kisses.” Kurt suggested. “Okay Daddy, I will forgive Papa. I just missed him.” Emma says as she takes a bite of her peanut butter toast. “What are you forgiving me for?” Blaine asks as he surprises Emma and Kurt. “Papa!” Emma screams as she sees Blaine walking into the kitchen. Emma lifts her arms wanting to hug her Papa. Blaine quickly walks to Emma and hugs her tightly. “Good morning Little One. I love you so much. Now, what are you forgiving me for?” He asks again. “I forgive you for not being home for bedtime.” Emma says as she finishes her breakfast. Blaine sits down in the chair next to Emma and with a heavy heart he holds her face with his two hands and says. “I'm sorry Emma that I wasn't able to be here for bedtime. I promise from now on I will try my best to be home for bedtime. I love you and Elizabeth so much and I never want to miss our bedtime kisses and hugs. Okay?” Blaine promises. “Okay,” Emma says and then hugs Papa with all her might. “Alright, Emma, go get dressed for school and I will be there in a minute to fix your hair.” Kurt tells Emma. She kisses Blaine and then slides down off the chair and skips to her bedroom to change.

Kurt sits down in the chair next to Blaine and places a mug of coffee in front of him. “Thanks,” Blaine quietly says as he finds it difficult to look at Kurt. Kurt places his hand on top of Blaine's and rubs it gently. “I'm sorry Kurt. I've hurt the people I love the most.” Blaine finally says as he looks at Kurt with lightly moist eyes. Kurt lovingly looks at Blaine and tells him. “You don't need to apologize to us Blaine, because you have not done anything wrong. You didn't hurt your loved ones. Listen to me because this is what is going to happen. I'm going to take Emma to school and Elizabeth is spending the day with her Aunt Rachael. When I get back we are going to sit down and talk about what happened yesterday without being interrupted. So take a drink of coffee and then you can get Elizabeth up and ready while I help Emma.” Kurt says as he finally sees a small smile appear on Blaine's face. Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek and says, “I love you Blaine, don't ever forget that.” Kurt pulls on Blaine's hand as they walk down the hallway towards the girl's bedroom.

After taking Emma to school and Elizabeth to Rachael's, Kurt unlocks the door and enters the apartment to find Blaine sitting on the couch in the living room looking at the family photo album. Kurt sits down next to him and says,” You are a wonderful Father Blaine and I am very lucky to be the guy who gets to take this journey with you. Through all the ups and downs that life gives us. Now Mr. Hummel Anderson why don't you tell me what happened when you saw Joey yesterday.” Kurt says as he closes the photo album and sets it down on the table, then he grabs a hold of Blaine and they lay down on the couch with Blaine's head lying on Kurt's chest waiting for Blaine to begin.

“I was talking to Joey about his friend Sally Collins when he just appeared out of nowhere and said “hi.” I saw him and I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe and I knew I had to get out of there but I didn't want him to see how he affected me so I told Joey goodbye. I left quickly and headed towards the elevator to get outside. I sat down on a bench and tried to settle myself down. Kurt, my mind was thinking about my Mom and I was imagining what she went through and I was feeling sick to my stomach. The voice in my head started saying to me “you're dirty, you shouldn't be alive.” I started feeling that way and agreeing with that voice. I got on the subway just to get away. I wanted to change my feelings and emotions. I sat down on the train and stared out the window not watching anything, but inside my head I was reliving the time I learned the truth about Jack Hill and the feelings I had for him and myself. I finally got off the subway and then I realized it was late at night because it was dark outside and nothing I saw looked familiar. Kurt, I was scared. I realized I needed you so that was when I called you and you came and found me. I'm sorry I made you and the girls worry. I just lost it Kurt. How can a man that I hate have so much control over me? That scares me too, Kurt.” Blaine says as he hugs Kurt tightly just wanting to feel safe and normal again. “Blaine, it's okay that seeing him affects you. If it didn't I think I would be worried about you. Blaine, you always try to be so strong all the time that when you need a helping hand you feel that you are letting people down and that bothers you a lot. You need to give yourself a break and accept the fact that you are human and you cannot be the strong on all the time and it is alright to let someone help you. These last few years you have gone through something that no one should have to deal with. But Blaine you did.” Kurt whispers. “With your help Kurt because you were there for me and helped me deal with it. Just like now.” Blaine remarks. “Blaine this is going to affect you every time you experience a trigger to that memory. Most of the time they are minor triggers that you can deal with but when you have a major trigger experience like being surprised by being face to face with Jack Hill that is going to trigger stronger feelings and emotions than just hearing Joey talk about his Dad. Does that make sense?” Kurt asks. “I think it does. I understand what you are saying.” Blaine says. “You were alone this time and it threw you off balance for awhile. If I had been there with you I would have been able to help you and you might have reacted differently. The truth is Blaine it took a little while but you did get control of yourself again and when you realized you needed help you called me. You eventually got control of yourself again.  You didn't run away and that is good.” Kurt tells Blaine as he rubs his back and kisses his head. “Thanks Kurt, you always make me feel better and loved. I couldn't ask for a better friend or husband. I want to make the girls their favorite dinner tonight so let's go grab some lunch, go visit Joey to let him know I am alright, and then go to the grocery store before we pick up the girls.” Blaine suggests with a smile. “I think that is a wonderful plan. Let's go.” Kurt says as the boys get on their feet and head out together, hand in hand.

“Blaine! I am so glad to see you. I am so sorry I didn't expect him to show up.” Joey apologizes. “Hey, it's alright. Your Father came to check up on you. It just startled me and I am sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. So, tell me how are you doing and I really want to hear all about this Sally Collins.” Blaine inquires wanting to change the subject of the conversation. Kurt and Blaine stayed for awhile as Joey explained to them about his friendship with Sally. At the grocery store the boys purchased the required ingredients for dinner and then took the groceries home. They finally picked up Elizabeth from Rachael and thanked her for watching Elizabeth. They are standing outside the school when they hear the bell ring and a minute later they see Emma coming out. She sees Blaine, Kurt and Elizabeth waiting for her and she runs towards them and jumps into Blaine's arms since Kurt is holding on to Elizabeth. “You surprised me with everyone picking me up at school. That is so cool.” Emma says proudly. Walking home the family is nears the neighborhood park. “Daddy, go to park pwease,” Elizabeth says. “Can we?” Emma asks. Kurt and Blaine look at each other and say “Yes, we can go to the park.” Emma grabs Eliz's hand and they run towards the swings. Kurt pushes Elizabeth on the swings while Blaine runs in a circle pushing the merry-go-round while Emma laughs happily as she spins. The girls decide to play in the sand while Blaine and Kurt watch from a nearby bench. “Well, I got my exercise for the day.” Blaine laughs as he catches his breath. “This has been fun. Those girls sure do love going to the park. It's too bad we don't come more often. I remember the fun I had playing in my backyard on my swing set.” Blaine mentions. “Kurt, have you ever dreamed of living in a house with a white picket fence?” Blaine asks.  “What are you really asking me Blaine?” Kurt asks. “I guess I am asking you if you have you ever thought about living in your own house with a backyard and a vegetable garden.” Blaine asks as he looks at Kurt for his answer. “I guess I have. I haven't thought about it for a long time though because I have been dreaming about living in New York, but now that you mention it. I think it might be nice living in a place that is quiet and peaceful while we raise the girls and anyone else who happens to comes along.” Kurt says as he winks at Blaine. “What does that mean, anyone else who happens to come along?” Blaine asks. “I case we ever decide to expand our family.” Kurt explains shyly. “Just so you know Kurt, I have thought about more children also.” Blaine mentions quietly. “Girls, I think it is time to go. We need to get home so we can make dinner.” Blaine tells the girls as he gives Kurt an interesting look.

Emma put her school things away and ran back out to the kitchen to see what Kurt was making for dinner. “What are you making Daddy? What's in the bowl that is covered up?” Emma asks as she walks closer. “You can take a peek if you want.” Kurt tells her. Emma slowly pulls the towel off the bowl and looks inside and suddenly a huge smile forms on her face. “Pizza dough!” She yells and Elizabeth comes running. “Eliz we are making our own pizza pies for dinner. I love it when we make our own pizza pies. I put lots of cheese on mine and then I add a little ham and a few mushrooms but not too many and I like a lot of sauce.” Emma says without taking a breath. “Pepproni pwease.” Elizabeth says happily? “What's all the noise for?” Blaine asks secretly. “Pizza, pizza dough is in the bowl cooking.” Emma explains as she points to the bowl. Blaine looks into the bowl and says. “Pizza dough, but Emma hates pizza. We can't have pizza.” Blaine jokes. Emma stands up straight and tall with her hands on her hips as says seriously. “Papa, are you kidding because you know I looovvveee pizza! It's Eliz and my favorite food. You know that. Are you being silly Papa because you are not funny?” She says. “I'm not funny.” Blaine says as he starts tickling Emma and she wiggles about. “Okay everybody the pizza dough is ready. It is time to add your favorite toppings.” Kurt announces to the joy of everyone. Soon the pizza pies were baked and the family was eating their own pizza pies as they were happily talking about the events of the day.

Kurt turns off the lights in the study after finishing some work for Vogue.com. He walks into the living room and says, “Time for bed.” He sees the TV playing The Lion King and then looks at the couch and smiles as he sees Blaine lying down on the couch asleep while holding both girls who are lying on top of him. Kurt goes to get the camera so he can take a picture to add to their family photo album before he wakes them. After taking the picture Kurt sets the camera down and gently nudges Blaine trying to wake him up. “Blaine, Blaine it's time to put the girls to bed. Maybe I should put all three of you to bed.” Kurt says with a smile. “I'm awake. I was just resting my eyes.” Blaine explains to Kurt. “Right,” Kurt smirks as he picks up Elizabeth and carries her to her bedroom followed by Emma and Blaine. The girls brush their teeth and go to the bathroom. They are quickly snug in their beds as Blaine and Kurt kiss and hug each girl and tell them they are loved. The girls close their eyes and are quickly sound asleep as Kurt and Blaine just stare at them, mesmerized by their sleeping daughters and feeling blessed.