“Just go for it.” They told me. “If you just go for it the pain will be over”

My toes were hanging off the edge of the bridge. I felt like Rose in the Titanic. Willing and praying my body to jump. They were telling me to do it, I had already lost everything. Everyone was gone, its not like I have anything to live for anymore.

“Go Blaine. Just jump and you won't have to worry anymore. We will help you.”

My hands were sweaty. My arms shaking in rhythm with my legs, and I could feel myself letting go.

i let go and screamed the moment someone grabbed my arm. Making my whole body swing towards the bars of the bridge.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” The voice yelled at me, taking all the strength I guess he had to pull me up. i swear my shoulder was dislocated from hanging over a thousand feet above water.

“Whats wrong with you?!” I yelled at the mysterious man. I pulled my arm away from his, rubbing my shoulder.

“I was saving you! I can't just watch you commit suicide! Who does that?” His high voice got even higher and I could tell he was crying.

“I'm just tired of everything. I want to die, I've lost everyone and I've lost everything and I just want my life to be over.”

“I promise you, you don't want it to end like that.” He sat next to me, placing a hand on my knee.

“You don't know whats ahead of you. You haven't even lived yet.”

“Who are you anyway?” I asked, trying to make out the features of the man in the dark.

“I'm Kurt.”

“Blaine.” I took his formal held out handshake and wanted to laugh. The formality was stupid, because of the circumstances.

“Okay Blaine, how about you come to my place. Stay the night, also so I can keep an eye on you.”

I obliged, my head running in thoughts. They were angry with me.

“Blaine just run and jump. Run and jump.”

I tried to ignore them, but the urge was strong. My head felt foggy, as did my vision. I just want to sleep.

“Blaine wake up were here.” I hear the mysteri—I mean Kurt say to me. My eyes felt heavy and I felt out of it, but I knew I didn't sleep. It was like a dream like feeling where you just skip from scene to scene but never sleep.

Thats how I always slept. The voices never let me.

My brain was clouded with nothingness as we walked into what I assumed was Kurts apartment. It had that ‘Look at me! I just moved to New York' feel to it and I wanted to laugh.

“You can sleep on the couch, if you want I can lend you some comfy clothing to wear. It raining pretty hard outside.”

I didn't even noticed that my hair and outfit were a mess, or that it was raining.

“Yeah, sure.”

“My roommate, Rachel, should be home any second. Don't be alarmed, but she is a character.” I just nodded and took the clothes from Kurt, walking into the bathroom.

The clothes were sweatpants and a baggy t shirt, which I wouldn't expect someone like Kurt to have. They just didn't seem his style, but I went along with it. Not really caring at the moment.

The couch was comfortable enough, I wouldn't really be sleeping so I didn't mind.

“Sweet dreams Blaine.” Those were the last real words I heard before closing my eyes.

“Blaine? You can't just ignore us forever you know.”

Blaine, if you just woke up you wouldn't be in this mess. Come on Blaine you know I love you right.

I couldn't make out the new voice that was in my head. The familiarity of it threw me off guard, much like the others, but this hit closer to home.

~

The new morning sun hit me in the face like a bomb. It was so hot and humid and tacky my body was stuck to the couch and blankets.

“I see youre finally awake.”

Are you sure he just isn't pretending?

“Um…yeah.” I say to the her. Ignoring the proceeding talking in my brain.

“I'm so sorry, I must really be freaking you out right now. I'm Rachel! Kurt roommate.” She held her hand out to me, I took it, but at the same time not really wanting to.

Her hands were soft, I could give into that, but she was WAY too happy in the morning to not be either drunk or high.

“Blaine.” I said, shaking her hand. She smiled and nodded then went back(two steps) into the kitchen.

I felt awkward, just sitting on the couch, in usual sweatpants and not in my own house. I couldn't remember where my house was anyway, it was full of people and I never went there really in the first place.

Blaine, just breath, show me your alive.

The familiar voice made my hands and arms shake. Causing goosebumps all over my body. I don't know why I have voices in my head, they were just always there I guess. Never really being apart of me, but always being there.

“Can I use your bathroom, you know to shower and stuff.” I asked Rachel, who seemed a little pre-occupied with a magazine.

“Yeah sure.”

I walked into the bathroom, it was a pretty good size for the tiny New York apartment.

The hot water burned my back, but in a good way. For a second all the voices were gone, vanished, as if they were never there.

~

"Goodmorning." i heard a very enthusiastic Kurt say. Once again, people should not be this happy in the morning.

I smiled politely, and looking at Rachel for approval to take a piece of toast. I felt like I knew her already even though the words we have spoken werent much.

"Um...well Blaine, Rachel and I were talking about you and your staying here. We just were wondering, like what we should do about this." Kurt looked almost distraught telling me this. I nodded, more confused than ever. What was I going to do? My apartment was empty and full of memories and voices. And its not like I can just escape my mind.

"I mean, I can just go home. Its not like I dont have anywhere to go. I have an apartment."

"Of course we know that, but Blaine. Last night, or what Ive heard of by Kurt, you tried taking your life and we just are not sure whether or not to let you go." Rachels brown eyes seemed to be tearing up, in a girl wanted to help a friend way. Is that what I am to these people? Friends?

No! Shut up!

I ignored my head and went with my gut.

"Whatever you guys want to do, Im fine with it. I dont have an urge to go home anyway. Just for clothes and other things."

"yeah of course. we can go by it this afternoon." Kurt spoke for the first time this morning. I nodded taking another piece of toast and carefully leaning against the table

~

"When did it even start raining." I asked Kurt as we ran through the unexpected thunderstorm.

"Its New York, do you really ever remember anything that happens?"

Dont have too much fun while Im gone. Okay?

"Very true Kurt, very true."

We walked into my apartment, it was smallish I guess, big enough for a small get together but too small for a full on party.

"Wow! This is really homie Blaine." I laughed at Kurts reaction.

"Can I be honest?"

"Ok..."

"You have to promise not to laugh."

"Okay, Blaine, Okay I promise."

"My mother decorated it when I moved here."

I knew Kurt wouldnt keep his promise. He was already snickering as I started the sentence.

"Hey! You promised." I laughed, hitting his arm lightly.

"I know, I know but really Blaine? Your mother? Do you still need mommy to do your laundry?" He mocked, for a second there I almost told him the whole truth.

"Shut up Kurt."

A loud crack of thunder shook the building, the light flickered trying there best to stay on for the adults and children in the lobby.

"Wow, its really coming down out there." I say, sitting by the window. The rain was coming down in waves and waves. Sheets even.

"How are we going to get a taxi in this weather."

Just tell him to stay

I didnt know it I heard the voice right or if I was just going crazy.

"I have no idea, but if we want I think I have hot chocolate mix if you want some of that and we can wait for the rain to pass."

"Sounds delicious."

I smiled at Kurt, he was leaning on the counter watching me very intently.

"Dont worry I wont drug it." I joke, but not hearing a response. Turning around he already seemed to make himself at home. Sitting on the couch reading an old magazine that had been sitting on the coffee table for a couple months.

"Whatcha readin?" I ask sitting next to him on the couch, handing him his mug of hot chocolate.

"I really have no idea." He laughed setting the magazine down and turning to face me.

~

"So tell me about yourself Blaine," We had been sitting in silence for a while. Sneaking glances and such. The silence wasnt awkward. It felt nice, calm even. All the noises were coming from outside, with the rain and the cars and the traffic.

"Well my names Blaine," I said, he smirked of course, trying not to push me forward with the sarcasm I was giving out.

"Okay, I was born in Ohio, went the private school for most of my life, and just came to New York to get away from everything and everyone. Its not much. Just a normal childhood, nothing traumatic really happened when I was little, I had friends I guess. Like I said, nothing that terrible happened, I was accepted at my school when I came out. It was nice, I guess."

"Enough about me," I said, looking at Kurt taking a sip from his mug. "Tell me about your life, these past two days or so has been about me, and I barely know anything about you."

"Um.okay. Well, I was also born in Ohio, but I went to public school." He had a mixed emotion on his face as he retraced his steps into childhood and high school. "I had a great childhood, a mom, dad, I was an only child so I got all the attention. I guess my life when my mom was alive was good, I loved her. Then she died when I was eight. Everything seemed to fall apart from then, people treated me differently. Pitied me even. I lost a lot of friends and then was the outcast in high school. Not wanting to take part in school activities. I thought my life would never get better, in fact I feel like it got worse. I came out when I was a sophomore, and I guess u could figure out what happened. Not fun, but now Im in New York, living with Rachel, who I met in high school, and my life is great now. I really like it, Im not having those feelings I did back in high school anymore. I love my life."

He had a small smile on his face, I guess looking back into the past can be difficult but in the end everything seemed to turn out right for him.

"Wow Kurt.i would have never guessed how much youve been through." I said, staring back into my mug, the marshmallows half melted, but the drink a little colder than I would have liked.

"Sorry I just like, brought that upon you. Ive been waiting to get out of that so much. Now college is amazing, and everyone is accepting, and I love it."

"Thats great, Im really proud of you." I say, grabbing his arm that was hanging over his knee. It felt like an impulse but it felt right.