Chapter 3

Kurt left Rachel's apartment in higher spirits. They talked for another good hour about Rachel's ideas on the ballet, about how she changed the story and also about a few dancers she had in mind for some particular parts. The ballet required six girls, too - there would be a ball scene at the beginning of the final act and one of the girls would appear occasionally as the Prince's mother – but the ballet will be danced mainly by guys – this was the idea, to impress with originality, to surprise, but finally, to succeed in showing everyone their talent. Rachel would prove herself not only in front of all the dancers and the professors, but she will take Miss July's position while working on her MA Ballet Studies. Not only she will be an exception, since no one ever got this opportunity, but she will have surpassed everyone.

But so many things still needed polishing, so many details needed revising. They couldn't afford mistakes or omissions. And whoever they will get to choose, they'd have to be careful. No traitors would be welcomed, like that Jesse St. James with his foul personality, who tricked Rachel once, making her fall for him and then stabbed her in the back.

Only when he was halfway back to his own flat, he remembered that Sam will be waiting for him. If the cold feeling of dread that quickly settled in the pit of his stomach was of any indication, Kurt was really not eager to get there soon.

It was almost noon, but Kurt already decided he wanted to skip his first class and go to the 2 o'clock 2 hour session of Choreography and Improvisation. He wanted to eat something and take a shower. And somewhere in between those, get rid of the uncomfortable conversation he had to have with Sam.

Kurt took the stairs – it was only a four floors trip and he needed the extra time to prepare a little speech in his head. He should apologize for shouting, deal with the embarrassing things he spouted at Sam and see if they could return to normal.

When he got in front of his apartment, he fumbled for his keys and took a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down, before opening the door. He half hoped Sam would be out, but shrugged it off, slapping himself mentally for being a coward.

Why was he really dreading this talk? Sam knew him inside out, this was why he understood Kurt better than anyone. And this is why it was more difficult to hide from him, because Sam would always guess what was behind the mask.

God, I'm really stupid, aren't I? Fumbling with my keys, standing like an idiot in front of my own apartment, trying to find some words to hide behind.

Finally, he entered the door, closing it without much noise, taking his time taking off his shoes and throwing a tentative look towards the living room, where Sam usually spent his morning, watching television or playing video games. He wasn't there.

Maybe he's out. Kurt thought, but it did little to soothe his nerves. If he's out, it means he's mad at me. Sam always needed a little time before sorting out something complicated or troublesome. Kurt hated that waiting time, because waiting meant thinking of worst case scenarios, and honestly, he didn't need that now. His euphoria and enthusiasm from his talk with Rachel died down now, being replaced by thoughts of concern and dread. It was all wonderful and everything, but come Monday, he'll have to deal with choosing between ballet dancers, some of them could even be his friends, and that was a complicated affair. Also, being lead meant the burden laid on his shoulders, mostly. Rachel was going to be a complete nutcase until things started to shape out.

Noise from the kitchen pulled him out of his thoughts. Apparently, Sam was still there. In the kitchen, more precisely. Kurt was a little more than baffled when he saw Sam wearing an apron and making pancakes. He looked… calm and happy. And not angry at all. He didn't really know what to do with that. Was he trying to avoid talking about what happened earlier? That would be a first. Or was he trying to lure Kurt in a sense of security and then corner him with questions?

"Kurt, I thought you have a class now. But it's good you came. I made pancakes, look! I'm awesome, right?"

"Uh, yeah…"

Dumb much, Hummel? Kurt slapped himself mentally. It was kind of obvious that the subject won't be breached, so why not take the lead and solve it now.

"Sam, I'm sorry about this morning. I overreacted. You know how I get when I'm stressed. What I said was true, but a bit overdramatic. You're my best friend, and you staying with me got me out of my bubble of misery for a while. It was a little lonely. But I'm not making any further thoughts about this arrangement. My mind wanders sometimes, but it's not like I can help it…"

Sam smiled at that.

"Me too. The first night I spent here and I saw you get ready for bed, it was like something hit me in the solar plexus. It reminded me of your interminable skin care routines, before bed and how I always had to drag you to sleep. It brought back memories. But that's not something bad. It's just something we had once and now we get to keep it as a memory. We're lucky we stayed friends."

Kurt nodded.

The distance between them still felt awkward though, so Kurt pulled a chair at the kitchen table and cleared his throat.

"So, are we okay?"

No matter how stupid and fragile that sounded, Kurt had to know. Sam puffed in dissimulated annoyance.

"We are golden. Unbreakable. Soul twins. Nothing cannot not be okay between us."

Kurt smiled. Yeah, we are, he thought.

"Right. Yeah, so… Pancakes? For lunch. How so?"

"Well, I found this recipe a while ago - vegetables and cheese pancakes, and it sounded good, so I figured it might taste good as well. Plus, you said you were going to see Rachel and I thought that pancakes would do some good to your levels of energy. You seemed drained this morning, so I thought you would consider helpful finding some delicious pancakes in the fridge after the ominous talk with her. Well, I know you can handle any sort of drama, but then again, pancakes never hurt anyone, right?"

Kurt laughed at that. Actually, it warmed his heart, hearing that Sam thought of making his day better. This is why he loved him, for little things like this and for how he supported Kurt no matter what.

Finally feeling at ease again, the tension slowly leaving his shoulders, Kurt relaxed in their closeness, watching Sam move around the kitchen, taking some plates for the two of them and setting them on the table, all the while humming to himself. It felt domestic, it felt like home.

There were so many times, after they broke up, when Kurt wondered and tried to imagine how they would have been, if they got to the point of being a family. Like being married and living together. But it hurt much more, so he just suppressed those thoughts. However, they still came back, from time to time. Now, though, it didn't hurt or make Kurt feel nostalgic, it just felt good.

Still smiling, Kurt left the kitchen to go wash his hands and change into something more comfortable. Lunch with Sam sounded great, and movie marathon with Sam, on the couch, afterwards, sounded even better, 2 o'clock Choreography and Improvisation class be damned. He never missed any of his classes, so if anyone questioned him about it, he'd just say he didn't feel well.