June 4, 2013, 9:37 a.m.
The True Power: Chapter 5
T - Words: 1,522 - Last Updated: Jun 04, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 26/26 - Created: Jul 29, 2012 - Updated: Jun 04, 2013 942 0 4 0 1
Panic set in my features as I turned to look at Blaine. "A-about what?" Worry noticeable in my voice.
"Oh! No, sorry, it's nothing to worry about! I was just thinking we should talk about our powers - I mean your the first person I've met whose the same as me so... I was just wondering if we could talk?"
God, he's so cute when he rambles!
I move around and sit on the bed in front of him. "Okay, yeah, we, um, we can talk. Just, ask what you want to know."
"Do you not have any questions?" he asked tilting his head to the side, looking adorable.
"Not right now, no, but it looks like you do, so fire away"
He sits and contemplates for a few moments, before speaking again,
"When did you get your first power?"
I sit, trying to remember what age I was when I first found out that I was different.
"When I was eight..." I answer, after a while, "That's when first realised that I was able to shape shift and I totally freaked out and didn't know what was happening but my dad explained everything to me and over the next week I got the rest of them. How about you?"
"So, you have questions now?" He teased and I blushed slightly, "Um, I was eight too! And my invisibility was caused by unsteady emotions; it was when my brother was picking on me and I just wanted to disappear" Blaine explained at my curious look, "Then, like you, the rest followed the next week. Do you have anything like that? Like, emotion controlled power?"
This was a touchy subject for me, we were entering dangerous territory. I mean, this was going to deal with my old life, the life I hated but I felt like I could tell Blaine. I trusted him, I could tell him all my secrets and fears and feel completely safe. It was strange.
"It's not exactly controlled by emotions, but I have a 'comfort animal' or some people say a 'spirit animal' and when I'm upset or scared, I transform into it."
Blaine looked interested, like he wanted to find out about my past. I would let him in, tell him everything. I haven't even let my dad in this far but there is a connection between us that I can't ignore. I wonder if he feels it too.
"Why?"
Still lost in my own thoughts, I look up at him, not catching what he had just said.
"Sorry?"
"Why? I mean, why do you transform?"
I look at him and realise this is it. This is me laying down everything in front of him. "Have you ever felt so sad and, so depressed that you just want to... escape from the world?
I pause and look to see him nod before I continue.
"This way, I could. No-one could get an answer for me as I can't speak and I escape from the world, into my own place, where no one can see how I've been affected. I can just run away. I... needed that in my old life. If I didn't have that, I may not have been here today."
I'm trying to fight back the tears and I feel Blaine move closer.
"What animal?"
Taking a easier question and not commenting on my state, for which I am grateful.
"A wolf."
He looks at me, speaking softly and slowly with his head resting on his hands "Lonely and vulnerable, yet strong and brave. That's how you see yourself."
I go to speak but he cuts in, "The first two, that's how you see yourself but the last two, that's how I see you. You have so much courage, Kurt."
He looks up into my eyes as I let one lone tear roll down my cheek. Taking my hands in his, I feel a connection between us.
"It's so sad that you can't see it. You can't see all this bravery inside you, you only see the sad and the miserable. You don't have to tell me, but, what happened to make you feel like you're so... damaged?“
I knew it was coming. I was ready to answer. I'd never told my story before, but I chose to tell Blaine. Something stopped me from starting.
"Can I ask something first?"
"Of course, anything."
"Do you.. feel it?" I ask. I was about to clarify then Blaine spoke. "The connection between us? Yeah, I do."
"Oh, good. I just want you to know... I've never told anyone this before"
He smiles encouragingly and I start.
"At my old school, I came out very young. I just... knew and I wasn't afraid to show it. Everything was fine until High School. People cared then. They cared that I liked boys instead of girls, they figured out that I was different too, and said I was a freak."
I pause to compose myself for the next part, "It started off as just verbal slurs, shouted at me. When nearly the whole school joins in, you get used to it. Then they realized that it didn't bother me anymore and made it their mission to make my misery more physical in my junior year."
I'm letting the tears flow freely now as I recall my past, how scared I was, what I went through everyday and how much I wanted everything to end, just so it would all stop. Blaine has engulfed me in his arms, holding tight and whispering, 'you're okay now' and 'you're safe'. And I did feel safe in his arms. Probably the safest I've ever felt. I knew no-one could harm me as long as Blaine was holding me.
"You can stop, if you want. ."
"No, I –I do the-this is the fir-st time that I-I've talked about it and I-I need to finish." I stutter through my sobs and take in a deep breath to continue.
" It didn't just consist of insults being shouted, it became locker shoves and slushies and when that wasn't enough, it was beating me up when no-one was around. It would've been easier if they were all dumb, but unfortunately they were smart enough to not go near my face. So, no damage was seen. Then, one day, they seemed to stop caring about being careful. They had a baseball bats in their hands and they cornered me. I would have just used my powers to fight back.. but I had to keep them hidden. They beat me unconscious, and what makes me so mad is that, I COULD have stopped them. They could've been the ones on the floor, laying in a pool of their own blood and in pain. I had so much power and it was useless. I was weak to them. Something they could just push around. And when I finally crawled my way home, my dad saw the bruises and cuts on my body and pulled me out of school."
I couldn't control my emotions at this point, my face was blotchy and wet from my tears and my eyes were sore.
"I never want to feel like that again. So weak! But I do, I feel it everyday because that's what I am and there is nothing I can do about it. If it wasn't for me being able to transform and escape, I think I would've stayed on the floor to die, let them kill me. There would never have been an escape to my endless suffering."
Blaine's grip got tighter and I heard a sniff from above. I raised my head from his chest, where it had been resting and saw that he was crying. I didn't understand why.
"Don't ever say that about yourself, Kurt. Never again, do you hear me? You are not weak or useless. You're strong and needed. Just... don't so this to yourself Kurt. Promise me, okay?"
I looked into his eyes and saw sadness. Not the light that had been there when I met him, just sadness. And I never wanted to see his eyes like that again.
"I promise."
The words slip from my lips like a whisper but he heard them as if I'd shouted.
He released me from his grip and I shivered at the coldness in the air, missing the feel of his arms already.
"It's past midnight, I think we should get some sleep."
He stands up from my bed and wipes his eyes. I watch him walk to his side of the room and wish he was still next to me.
"Good idea." I say, copying his actions by wiping my eyes.
I hear him get into bed and then darkness fills the room as the light goes off.
"Goodnight Kurt."
A moment of realization that, I think I'll be okay here, with Blaine in my life and I reply,
"Goodnight Blaine." A small smile appearing on my face, I feel safe, and that's good enough. I put my head onto the pillow and drift into a heavy sleep.
Comments
ok what is Kurt thinking? he is so not weak, he has all these powers and he chose not to use them against his bullies. that is not weakness, he knew he could take them down but he took the beating instead of hurting them. that is not weakness...that shows strength, it takes more courage to turn the other cheek then is does not hit back. p.s i like that Kurt's spirit animal is a wolf, they are pack animals and known to be fiercely loyal, when it comes to their pack. and i'm pretty sure they are lifers:) i like this so far...
blaine is trying to show him he's not weak but all he see's is insecurities about himself and not how strong he really is and yes i thought a long time on what animal to have for him but seemed to always go back to wolf and thankyou :)
i shall don't worry it might just take a while as i'm on holiday at the moment for two weeks but if i fins some inspiration while here i shall write the next chapter :) glad your enjoying it
I love this! the story is so creative! :D please do more!!