Kurt looked at his list again. Technically she fit every criterion. She had qualifications and experience and everything he was looking for, but then he looked up at her again. Hiram was practically vibrating next to him, wanting to bite her arm off as soon as she extended it for a handshake. Maybe it was the fact that she was called Hilda, maybe it was the hideous dogtooth pattern on her skirt, maybe it was her stern expression, but something told Kurt he didn’t want her looking after his daughter. Eliza seemed to have to same idea and was grizzling from her crib. Kurt got up to see what was wrong and to get away from the woman glaring at him, but she raised a hand as if he was a dog that she wanted to sit down.

“Allow me.”

He slowly lowered himself back onto the couch next to Hiram who nodded at him pointedly as if to say ‘See? She’s so eager!’ but Kurt was still unsure.

She hoisted the baby up vigorously, only making her more upset, and rocked her too quickly and roughly. She carried on talking to Kurt as she held her, not once making eye contact with the baby.

“So, I was with the Walker family for three years in total, raising four boys – their parents trusted me entirely with disciplining them, and I would expect the same level of trust here. I’m not afraid to be firm with a child if it misbehaves.”

Kurt gripped onto the armrest of the sofa as Eliza blinked at him desperately. He wondered exactly how she’d been ‘misbehaving’ to deserve this. He thought maybe he was being overly protective and worrying too much. He kept telling himself he was bound to feel like that after what had happened to Rachel and that he shouldn’t coddle her, but she just looked so miserable. He was about to take her, but Hiram put a hand on his arm, anchoring him to his seat.

“She just needs to get used to her. Give it a minute.”

Kurt winced and rubbed his forehead anxiously, trying to convey some kind of sympathy to his daughter through a look because apparently that was all he was allowed to do.

“I’ll cook for her and myself but not for you. You are not my responsibility. Your advertisement said accommodation was included?”

“Absolutely. You’ll be in the… the spare room. It’s just upstairs; shall we?”

Kurt stayed in the living room as Hiram showed her the rest of the house, taking deep breaths. He tried to accept that Hiram knew what he was talking about and he’d done all of this before and that he hadn’t exactly been doing brilliantly by himself so far… but he was being told how to raise his daughter in his own home, and the whole time he had to watch her looking so uncomfortable and confused. Rachel would have told her father to back off and leave them to it, but Kurt couldn’t say anything. It’s hard to argue with someone whose daughter has just died. He sat up straight, ready to join them when the doorbell rang. Thank god.

Carole bustled in with shopping bags, kissing Kurt on the cheek and apologising for their lateness as she made her way to the kitchen. Burt stepped in behind her, smiling at Kurt and pulling him in for a hug. Kurt was pretty sure he’d heard a couple of eggs crack against his thigh in the bag Burt hadn’t bothered to put down. Part of him wanted to roll his eyes because his father had been hugging him like that a lot lately, but instead he smiled into it. He’d never needed it so badly.

“You’ve started without us, I take it?”

“Oh, don’t.”

“Is it that bad?”

“I seem to be having a decision made for me. He’s infatuated. She’s horrible.”

“You know, Kurt, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do-”

“Yeah, yeah, well you try arguing with him.” Burt raised his eyebrows for a second before marching past him towards the voices upstairs.

“No, Dad, I didn’t mean- oh, crap…”

He ran up after him into the room that had barely been opened for three months. He was so distracted by Eliza’s distressed mumbling that he didn’t even notice where he was until his feet touched her carpet. Again, he was surrounded by all things Rachel, from the photographs to the notes in her handwriting to the sweater on the chair, and he tried to close his eyes to shut it out but it only made the smell more powerful. He flashed back to the day he brought Eliza home, but this time he couldn’t just curl up on the bed, and he didn’t have the baby to hold onto. Instead, she was in the arms of a stranger who was making her miserable. He could see the music on the stand without opening his eyes, and felt both of his Elizas more distant than ever. It was like he was nine again, lying in his parents’ room alone with the drawers open.

“I take it this was her room? The mother?”

Hiram gazed around at the virtually untouched bedroom, a tremor in his breath.

“Rachel, yes.”

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.”

If it was possible to physically hurt a sound, Kurt would have strangled her soulless words and thrown them down the stairs. Hiram nodded and swallowed hard.

“Thank you. It’s been difficult, but at least we’ve got this little angel with us. She’s got her mother’s eyes.”

Kurt realised his nails were digging into his palm.

Well if you want what’s best for her, why aren’t you showing this woman the door?

Burt gave his shoulder a squeeze, sensing his annoyance, and scooped the baby out of Hilda’s arms.

“Hey, cutie! Let me see my granddaughter.” He lifted her above his head and tickled her stomach with his nose, making her cheer up instantly and gurgle with joy. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. “Wow, Kurt, she’s getting heavier every day. That’s a really good sign.” He grinned at his son, who smiled back gratefully. It was nice to hear that he wasn’t a total screw-up. Burt extended a hand to Hilda, who seemed a little shocked by his taking charge like that. “Burt; Kurt’s dad. Thanks for coming. We’ll let you know.”

“Burt, I think-”

“C’mon, Hiram, we can’t keep her all day. You seem like a busy lady, and we have another candidate to see. He should be here any minute.”

“Actually he should have been here five minutes ago-”

“All the more reason to get going. Sorry about this, ma’am, but as you can see, things are pretty hectic around here.” She didn’t like being called ‘ma’am’ one bit.

“Of course. I understand. I need to go anyway.”

She knew she was getting the brush-off, but she wasn’t about to admit defeat so openly.

Hiram rushed after her, giving Burt a confused look, but she’d closed the door behind her before he reached the bottom of the stairs. Burt shrugged and walked into the kitchen where Carole was still packing the food away. He still hadn’t eaten the last truckload of food she’d brought them, and he was the only one in the house who could eat solids, but Kurt still smiled at her.

Hiram wasn’t happy.

“What was that?”

“Kurt didn’t like her.”

“When did he tell you this?”

“I could tell. And did you see her with Eliza? You didn’t like her either, did you?” He tickled the baby he was holding to his chest. “We don’t have to settle for the first person we see.”

“You didn’t see her references. She had qualifications coming out of her ears!”

“The only qualification she needs is to be good with the baby. She wasn’t. That’s all there is.”

“But you didn’t even-”

“I didn’t have to.” There was a ring at the door. “Saved by the bell!”

Hiram hopped to the door before the others could answer it. Kurt gave his father an exasperated look, but Burt handed Eliza over to him and kissed her on the head.

“I know, Kurt. Give this guy a chance. He might be perfect.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. He seriously doubted that.

They heard a voice from the hallway.

“Is this a Mr… Hummel’s house? I’m here for an interview; I think I’m late but my bike had a puncture. Sorry. Oh, right, yeah-”

Hiram ushered him into the kitchen. Kurt was speechless. He didn’t exactly look like a nanny. His face was bright red and his hair was half sticking out in wild springs and half stuck to his forehead where he’d been wearing a helmet, which was now tucked under his arm. He’d obviously been in a hurry. Points for safety and eagerness, if not punctuality.

“Hi, great to meet you. I’m Kurt, this is my dad, Burt, his wife, Carole, and this is Hiram.”

He was still panting. He didn’t shake any hands, but offered them all a shy wave and an earnest grin.

“Hi, I’m Blaine,” he shifted uncomfortably with five pairs of eyes on him, until he looked at the baby. Their faces lit up simultaneously. “So this must be Eliza!”

“Oh, right, of course! Sweetheart, you want to say hi to Blaine?”

Blaine put his helmet on the table and lifted the baby out of Kurt’s arms with a wide, open smile plastered across his face.

“Well, aren’t you beautiful?” He stared right into her eyes and she smiled back at him. She didn’t make a sound but stared up at him in wonder as he held her close to his chest. She’d never been that calm with anyone she hadn’t met before. Kurt was amazed. Blaine kept whispering to her, tapping her nose and lifting her chin with his finger so he could get a better look at her face. He kissed her on the cheek, then noticed everyone staring.

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry; Was that not okay? I get it if you’d rather I didn’t kiss her, I mean you haven’t even given me the job yet, oh, not that I assume you’re going to… sorry.”

Carole put a hand on his back to break the tension.

“No need to apologise, Blaine; if she doesn’t mind, we don’t mind. You’re fine, aren’t you honey?” she cooed to Eliza, who didn’t take her eyes away from Blaine.

Hiram was on edge.

“So, Blaine…”

“Anderson.”

“Mr Anderson, right, do you have any references? Certificates?”

“Oh, right, about that…”

He handed the baby back to Kurt carefully, only breaking eye contact with her to smile nervously at Kurt, and swung his rucksack around from his shoulder. He reached inside it and pulled out a few of sheets of paper, neatly folded but crumpled in transit and passed them over to Hiram. He looked less than impressed.

“This is it?”

“That’s the thing; I don’t exactly have official experience…”

Hiram looked up from the paper in his hands.

“Cooper Anderson?”

“Yeah, he’s my brother. I know, it doesn’t look great, but I’ve been looking after his kids since they were born.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped the screen to show them a picture. “That’s them; Stacey’s five and Henry’s seven. Cooper and his wife work a lot, so I’m kind of their full-time babysitter – well, I was, but now that they’re both at school I needed to move on. And, um,” he ran his fingers through his hair anxiously, “I hate to bring it up, but I really need to move out. My roommates kind of drive me crazy. I just want to be in a real house that’s not full of students. They’re pretty disgusting.”

“So. Babysitting. That’s your experience?”

Hiram gave Kurt a look to remind him of the fully qualified woman they’d just turned away.

“Well, I was basically their nanny. I cooked for them, and read with them, and made sure they brushed their teeth, al the normal stuff; they’re really great kids-”

“I don’t doubt that, but do you have any qualifications? Have you had first aid training? Do you know CPR?”

“Well, no… but I’m an expert with scraped knees, splinters, stuff stuck up noses – Henry’s pretty curious – just read what Cooper’s written-”

“Well it’s hardly surprising that your brother’s given you a glowing recommendation. Is this seriously your only reference?”

“Well, I worked in a couple of bars when I was in college for extra money; if I can deal with drunks, I can handle pretty much anything a kid can throw at me.”

“Great. A bartender and a babysitter.”

“Hiram,” Kurt glared at him, “why are you being so rude?”

“Well, why were you so rude to the first one?”

“Come on, did you see the way she was holding the baby? She looked bored of her after three seconds, and Eliza looked like she’d rather get dropped on her head than spend another minute with her-”

“She knew CPR-”

“Well I know my daughter!”

The room fell silent. Eliza started whimpering into Kurt’s shirt. Blaine put his hands in his pockets and looked at his feet. Carole took him by the arm.

“Honey, why don’t I show you around? I think these two need a minute.” She nudged him towards the stairs and he gladly obliged. He had a feeling they weren’t really arguing about him anymore.

The kitchen stayed silent for a few more seconds until Burt spoke up.

“So, he seems nice.”

“We need more than nice-”

“Well, we need more than CPR-”

“You both need to stop arguing. This isn’t helping that baby one bit. Hiram, I know you’re missing Rachel. I know you want to hold onto this little piece of her, and nobody’s stopping you, but Kurt’s her dad. Would you have let anyone tell you how to raise your kid?”

Hiram raised an eyebrow and looked down at his folded arms.

“Now, Kurt, if you think Blaine is better for Eliza than that other woman, that’s fine. He’s obviously good with kids, but you know if we try to give an opinion, it’s only because we all love this baby with everything we have. It’s good that we care this much. Now if we start being a pain in the ass, you’ve got to tell us. There’s no point walking on eggshells here. We’re a family. We’re a big mess of a family, so we’ve got to be honest with each other. Deal?”

Kurt and Hiram nodded.

“Now, I’m going to give Carole the all-clear. Hand over that baby, I want to hold her for a second before we go.”

Kurt snorted and passed Eliza to his father, kissing her on the head to let her know everything was fine. She blinked at him with a hint of a smile over Burt’s shoulder as he headed for the stairs, leaving Kurt and Hiram alone.

“I’m sorry, Hiram. I just… I just had a bad feeling about her. The baby was looking at me like she needed rescuing, but with him she was so relaxed. I know you’ve done this before and I haven’t, but it feels like you’re questioning everything I do. I already doubted whether or not I was ready for this, but I thought if I had all of you backing me up it’d be okay.”

“I know. Kurt, I’m sorry, I just wish there was more I could do. I’ve never felt so helpless-”

Kurt nodded and sniffed.

“You know, Rachel always used to tell me what great parents you were.”

“Really?”

“Constantly. Do you think it was because you were efficient? Because you had qualifications? It was because she knew how much you loved her; because every time she felt sad you would bring her a glass of water and talk to her and hold her until she was smiling again. Do you think Hilda would have done that?” Hiram looked at the floor. “Blaine seems nice. I’m not saying he’s going to love her as much as we do, but we’ve got more of a chance with him than anyone else. You know how fussy Eliza can be when it comes to people, and you saw the way she smiled at him. It’s not just about references. He was a natural with her. I’m giving him a chance.”

“I just thought she-”

“I’m not going to cut you out.” Hiram finally stared straight into Kurt’s eyes as his own were filling with tears. “I know you think I’ve got some plan to keep you away from her, but she needs you. I need you. Who else is going to tell her what Rachel was like when she was little? Who else is going to make sure I get all the Jewish stuff right? You’re in her life whether you like it or not. Okay?”

Hiram blinked quickly, giving a sheepish nod and composing himself as the others came back into the kitchen. Apparently Burt trusted Blaine enough to give Eliza back to him, as he walked in first, bouncing her up and down gently and grinning at her whilst talking to Burt and Carole. The baby was gurgling contentedly and smiling back at him.

“I can’t believe how gorgeous this place is – or how gorgeous this little girl is!” He tickled under her chin and kissed her head, “What is she, three months? She looks great. Stacey was really sick when she was little; Eliza seems a lot tougher. Oh man, I hope I get to look after you,” he mumbled softly, pressing his forehead against hers and letting her grab onto his thumb. Burt and Carole followed him, smiling. Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. If they approved, he must be right. Blaine looked up at Kurt again and tried to put on some kind of business face. Fortunately, it was completely unconvincing. “So, uh, have there been a lot of candidates? I don’t want to sound pushy, but, you know, how am I doing?”

Kurt glanced at Hiram, one eyebrow raised. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“You’re doing pretty well; so well, in fact, we’d like to offer you the job. When can you start?”

“Seriously? Just like that? Well, I can start tomorrow, as soon as you’d like! Wow, I can’t, I mean, uh, thanks. Thank you so much.”

“Well, this didn’t take nearly as long as I thought it would. Honey, maybe we should leave them to it; let everyone get used to each other.” Carole nodded and said goodbye to Kurt and Eliza, smiling and patting Blaine’s arm to calm him down. Burt glanced pointedly at Hiram, who realised he should probably go as well. “It was nice meeting you, Blaine. I’m sure we’ll see plenty of each other.” Burt shook his hand firmly and slapped his shoulder, unable to stop himself playing the protective father and grandfather, even though Blaine already had his approval. He and Hiram took turns saying their goodbyes and showing Kurt through subtle smiles that they supported him.

Kurt took a deep breath when he’d closed the door behind everyone. It was weird having another adult left in the house when they’d gone. He wandered back into the kitchen to see Blaine still whispering to Eliza. He was looking at the photos on the fridge, pointing some out to her.

“Who’s that, Eliza? Is that Daddy? And are those two your grandpas? They all love you so much, and well… I know this is a little soon and I don’t wanna come on too strong, but I think I love you too,” he muttered, tickling her until she gurgled again. “So who’s this? Is that your mom? She’s beautiful-”

“She was.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I know, Blaine. It’s fine. Did Carole explain what happened?”

“Yeah. It sounds awful; you must have been so…” He gave up on finding the right words. They both knew none would help, and he didn’t want to patronise him with another clich�d offering of sympathy. Kurt smiled at Eliza through the silence as she kept staring up at Blaine, and carefully lifted her out of his arms. He almost flinched when he felt the warmth of Blaine’s chest against his; it was a long time since he’d been that close to someone he’d only just met. He concentrated on Eliza. He couldn’t already be such a sad old man that he was getting excited over a little closeness.

“It’s getting easier. Having her makes all the difference. I mean, I miss Rachel. I miss her every day, but now that I’ve got Eliza, I can’t imagine not having her, you know? I think the worst part is knowing that she’ll never have a-”

Kurt’s voice cracked. He’d thought it so many times, but saying it aloud brought it all back. He stopped, swallowed and took a second to breathe. Blaine smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Kurt, you’re doing so well. I know it’s weird coming from me, but I know parents, I’ve dropped kids off at play dates, and this is one of the happiest babies I’ve ever seen. She adores you; just look at her.” He did. She was nestled against him, eyes open, her fingers in her mouth. No squirming, no uncomfortable mewling; she just relaxed into him. He always took it for granted, but maybe he really was good at this.

“Wow. I usually try not to break down in front of people I’ve just met; especially if I’m technically their boss.”

Blaine grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked almost out of place without a small person to hold onto.

“Don’t worry about it. I mean, if I’m going to live here I guess we can’t hide this kind of stuff from each other. You don’t have to be all distant just because you’re paying me.”

“Good, because I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed.”

Blaine laughed.

“Okay; how about we even the score. What do you want to know about me?”

He walked over to the coffee machine and raised his eyebrows at Kurt, who nodded back.

“Milk’s in the fridge. Two sweeteners, please; it’s all there. Hmm, what do we want to know? Eliza, are you curious about anything?”

“I’m pretty sure she’s got me all figured out already. What about you?”

Kurt was a little taken aback. He hadn’t had much of a chance to think about himself since Eliza was born. He’d thought about pretty much everyone else and eventually slipped to the bottom of his list.

“Oh… okay, um… how come you’re doing this? Your application said you majored in music at NYU; why the urge to look after a baby? Is it just the accommodation?”

“No!” Blaine said a little too hurriedly before he realised Kurt was joking. “Oh, it just didn’t really work out. Music’s always been important to me; I love singing and I play a few instruments, but something about working in it sucked all the fun out of it. I hated being told how to do everything, how to play properly and how to write ‘accessible’ songs… I stopped loving it so much. So I took a year out and helped Cooper with Henry, and it never got boring. He basically let me do what I wanted with him, because he knew I wouldn’t drop him out of a window or leave him alone or feed him sugar all day, and it was great. I guess I’d always thought I’d have to wait until I had my own kids to be able to spend my time looking after them, but once I realised I could do it for a job I knew it was perfect.”

Blaine handed Kurt a coffee and sipped at his own.

“Oh. Fair enough.”

“A lot of people get weird about me, though. People who see themselves as liberal are always asking, ‘you’re a man, and you look after kids for a living?’ Like I’ve just told them I have a tail or something.”

Kurt snorted.

“Well, I think it’s cool. I had a dozen applicants and you were the only guy. I mean, that’s not why I hired you-”

Blaine smiled.

“I know; don’t worry.”

“I think it was just a relief to see that it wasn’t all women. Kind of reassured me that men can do the whole kid thing too.”

Blaine’s phone started ringing in his pocket and he jumped as it vibrated against his leg.

“Sorry, it’s Cooper, do you mind?” Kurt shook his head and Blaine answered. “Hey, Coop- what? Well, can’t you call anyone else? I’m still kind of at my interview-”

“It’s fine, Blaine. You’ve already got the job. You can go.”

“Cooper, hold on…” he looked back to Kurt, “Are you sure? I’d stay, but Stacey’s at a birthday party and she’s throwing up, and nobody else can get her-”

“Hey, if anyone understands childcare problems, it’s me. Go.”

“Okay, okay, I can go. You owe me one. So now we’re up to five thousand and one. Right; I’ll see you later.” He rolled his eyes as his brother kept rambling down the line. He mouthed ‘thank you’ to Kurt. “Yeah- yep- Cooper, I said I’d do it. Stop talking. She’s at Emily’s, right? Cool, I’ll have her home in an hour.” He hung up and looked at Kurt apologetically.

“I guess you’d better get going.”

“Yeah. I wish I could stay, but I guess we’ve got plenty of time to continue this. So, what time do you want me tomorrow?”

“Eight? I leave at eight thirty, so that should give us time to go over some stuff. And don’t forget to bring, you know… your stuff. I guess it’s moving in day as well.”

“Right, yes, of course.” He gave a little nervous laugh, fumbling to put his phone back in his pocket and pick up his bag. Now that he had to leave, they both became painfully aware that next time they saw each other they’d be living together. “Um, thanks again, for the job. I really can’t wait.”

“It’s the baby you should be thanking. If she hadn’t liked you, you’d have been out the door.”

He grinned at the baby.

“Well, thank you Eliza.”

He put a hand on the baby’s back, but jerked away when his fingers brushed against Kurt’s. Their eyes met and they both immediately looked back to the little girl who was calmly observing their interaction.

“You should-”

“Yeah, yeah, I should-”

“Yeah.” Blaine made his way to the door. “Blaine?”

“Hmm?” he shouted back from the hallway.

“Your helmet.”

“Oh, right, safety first. Thanks.”

“One more question. Do you ever sing or play anymore?”

Blaine shook his head.

“It still feels too much like school. I don’t know. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

He heard the door click shut and looked back at the baby, who was staring at him. Obviously she didn’t really have an expression, but he could’ve sworn she was looking borderline sassy.

“Shut up. Talk to me when you can stand up. In fact, talk to me when you can talk.” She continued to look up at him. He was pretty sure she hadn’t blinked in over a minute. He didn’t know the age at which babies started judging, but she seemed to be particularly advanced.