Kurt was smiling at him again, but it wasn’t the sassy smirk from before. They weren’t playing games any more. He just looked calm, as his breathing gradually slowed down. They kissed softly and slowly, Kurt buttoning his jeans back up before laying his hands upon Blaine’s shoulders as he slid gracefully off of the counter. Blaine instinctively held his waist, helping him down. It was pointless; his feet were only inches from the floor to begin with, but Kurt still loved feeling those strong hands holding him. It was as though he could never be close enough to him. He could tell from the way Blaine looked up at him that he felt the same. He didn’t want anything to stop them, to break them apart even for a minute.

“Come on,” he said, still smiling contentedly, “I’ve got, you know, everything… It’s upstairs.” He kissed Blaine on the head, catching the scent of his hair mingled with his sweat, and automatically squeezed his shoulder to steady himself. It was hard not to get carried away again when he caught a breath of that smell. But as much as he’d enjoyed this, he just wanted to go to his room and lock the rest of the world out. After Friday, they both wanted to stay calm, and do this right.

Kurt gripped Blaine’s hand tightly as he led him up the stairs in silence. For once they didn’t have anything to talk about. If they’d tried to start a conversation, they both would have gabbled nervously, so they just didn’t bother.

Blaine was trembling as they went into Kurt’s room. He’d seen the room so many times before and spent hours looking at all the photos and little decorations that were such a part of who he was. But today he wasn’t looking at any of them. He was just staring at the bed, swallowing, trying to keep his breathing slow. He knew Kurt would be scared too, and he didn’t want to add to it. He was still in disbelief over what he’d just done. He’d never really expected to enjoy it. He’d imagined giving head before, but he just thought it would be a nice… Gesture. What he’d forgotten to take into account was how he would feel kissing Kurt, how much he would love kissing the rest of him, how beautiful Kurt’s face would look, how he would be able to hook his arms under Kurt’s legs and grip his ass and hips and waist and have complete control over him. He remembered those fingers running through his hair, and the noises Kurt had made, somewhere between groans and whimpers as he was rendered completely helpless, and just knowing that he was capable of doing that to him - it felt amazing.

He felt a bead of sweat trickle down the back of his neck and make its way down his spine. Kurt gently pushed him into the door, closing it, and kissed him. His breathing was shaky and so were his hands, as he locked the door and reached out and pulled everything they needed from a drawer on his right. A tiny voice in his head tried to make him wave the condom in Blaine’s face, shouting ‘Well, there’s no way I’m letting you have your way with me just to leave me to raise a baby on my own!’, but he squashed it. Obviously he loved making Blaine laugh, but there was a time and place. And this wasn’t it.

Their mouths stayed connected as they blindly made their way towards the bed, tentatively pulling each other’s shirts off, the condom and lube in between Kurt’s fingers. It wasn’t far, but Blaine still managed to trip, pulling Kurt with him as they crashed onto the bed. They both burst out laughing, finally breaking the tension. They each knew that the other was scared, but they still wanted to do this. As they caught their breath, Kurt propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Blaine, that soft smile on his face again. He gave him the tiniest kiss on the nose. Blaine couldn’t help grinning.

“What was that for?”

Kurt tilted his head, glancing around him, then looking right back to Blaine. “I have no idea. You just looked so adorable, it seemed like that was the logical thing to do.” His hand was resting on Blaine’s chest, his thumb casually stroking a small patch of his hair until it was perfectly straight. Blaine reached up to kiss him, and suddenly, without them realising it, the whole mood had shifted. They didn’t speak. The only sound was their heavy breathing and soft groans as they kissed each other all over, exploring faces, necks, shoulders, arms, and chests. Kurt’s jeans and underwear slid off easily, as he’d barely done them up properly in the kitchen. He swung his leg over Blaine, mounting him, and sat up so he could unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers. Blaine gasped, struggling to cope with the transition from making out to just, nothing. He tried to sit up, put Kurt just looked him in the eyes as if to say ‘Don’t bother. I’ve got this.’ and he sank back down with a sigh.

Kurt pulled Blaine’s trousers down over his crotch, along with his boxers, and couldn’t help inhaling sharply when he saw his cock. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but with Blaine’s height, it hadn’t been this. He tried not to show his surprise, because it just seemed rude, and opened the condom, breathing slowly to make sure he didn’t mess it up. His heart was beating so fast that he was in great danger of just passing out, or dissolving into giggles. He knew if he could just power through this, they could go back to the kissing and keep moving on. He could stand this separation for now. He just about managed to convince himself for long enough to get it on, before he lowered himself back down onto Blaine’s chest, one palm on the bed and the other flat against him.

Blaine pulled Kurt’s face towards him, desperate to get back to where they had been thirty seconds ago. It didn’t take long. He grabbed the bottle of lube from where Kurt had dropped it before, reaching behind Kurt’s back to squirt some onto his finger. He dropped the bottle, bringing his hand back up to run his fingers through Kurt’s hair, kissing him even harder. He used his other hand to trace down his spine. Kurt shivered, surprised by how cold the liquid was. His breath hitched and he had to bite his lip when suddenly that coldness was inside him.

“Kurt, are you-” Kurt just nodded and kissed him again, closing his eyes and just kissing Blaine’s neck and savouring this feeling. He’d thought about it. He knew he wanted it. But as he felt another finger slide in, he realised just how good it felt. The big deal everyone made about sex was finally making sense. Feeling like this, and knowing it was Blaine making it happen, was mind-blowing. He just wanted to be closer and closer to him, and he wanted Blaine to feel like he had felt before. He laid a hand on his arm.

“Blaine.” Blaine stopped kissing Kurt’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes, brow furrowed, with the most caring, worried, earnest expression on his face.

“What? Do you want to stop? Are you-“

“Blaine.” Kurt repeated, “It’s OK. I’m ready.”

Blaine kissed him again, both of his hands firmly on Kurt’s hips, and they both rolled over until Blaine was on top of Kurt, Kust’s legs wrapped around his waist. He slid his hand under the small of his back, to make sure he could have complete control, but before he positioned himself, he rested his cheek against Kurt’s, and whispered,

“Kurt, I’m… I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll… I just… I don’t want to hurt you-” He started to look down towards his lips, but Kurt tilted his head forwards to keep eye contact with him, lightly touching Blaine’s cheek with the back of his fingers.

“You won’t. You’ll never hurt me.”

They both let out a subtle smile. Nobody else would have even noticed it. But it said everything that needed to be said: “I love you.”

Blaine pressed up against Kurt, very slowly pushing inside him. Their faces were side by side again, turned in towards each other. As he heard Kurt gasp and felt him nuzzle harder into his neck, he slid his hand further underneath him so he could give his waist a squeeze, and kissed his neck gently. Kurt nodded slightly, encouraging him to keep going, because even though it would take some getting used to, it felt amazing. The way every single movement Blaine made moved him too, and the faces he was making, fluctuating between scared and just dying with happiness. He willed him to carry on, to push this feeling as far as possible.

It wasn’t long before Blaine was all the way in. He’d meant to go much more slowly, but as Kurt kept making those groaning, whimpering noises and this just felt so good, it was difficult to go slowly. He moved in long, slow thrusts in time with Kurt’s breathing, and soon everything was moving in time: his mouth on Kurt’s neck, Kurt’s hand grasping over his back at his shoulder, Kurt’s other hand squeezing his ass, his own hand, having now moved from behind Kurt, pumping up and down on Kurt’s cock, and that rhythm kept gaining speed. He felt Kurt’s feet against the backs of his thighs. He breathed deeply as he felt Kurt’s body sliding against his, both of them sweaty and gasping for air. He tried not to sound like an animal, but the only noises he could get out of his mouth were grunts and groans and “Oh, Kurt… God…”.

Kurt felt weightless. As if being jerked off alone wouldn’t have been enough, feeling Blaine inside him was pushing him over the edge. He was amazed either of them had held on so long. Everything was trembling. He was shivering and shaking in new ways, in parts of his body he didn’t know could feel this. His ears were ringing. He had to close his eyes, because when they were open everything was just a blur. His back was arched, bringing his body closer to Blaine’s, and his head fell back as wave upon wave of sensation swallowed him. As he felt Blaine moving faster and faster, his ankles twitched and his toes curled. He clung even tighter to him, with his arms, legs, even his head was pressed so tightly against Blaine’s they were practically hooked together. With Blaine’s final few thrusts, Kurt thought he was going to evaporate. Just disappear. He moaned in time with the movement, his entire body seizing up and convulsing, his head thrown so far back it was almost pushing straight through the pillow. He’d taken over from Blaine jerking himself off, and Blaine’s hand was underneath him again, holding their chests close together and lifting him up. Blaine’s mouth went from kissing him to just gasping against his neck as they both went rigid, Kurt’s head still tilted back and Blaine’s tucked under his chin, Kurt with both arms clinging to Blaine, and they were frozen for what felt like hours.

As soon as they’d started breathing again, Blaine lowered Kurt back onto the bed and kissed him on the cheek, and then on the forehead, and finally on the lips. It wasn’t as deep and passionate as before; it was just content and sleepy. Just like him and Kurt. Kurt quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped his stomach clean as Blaine rolled onto his side. Kurt turned to face him. Neither of them said anything. They pulled the covers over them and just lay side by side, examining each other’s faces. Memorising every detail, just like this. Not just sweaty and tired, but so relaxed and happy. Their fingers were intertwined under the duvet. Blaine put a hand on Kurt’s neck, pulling his head right next to his.

Kurt reached up and kissed the tip of Blaine’s nose again, a cute grin on his face.

“Sorry.” he said, oddly sheepishly considering what they’d just done, “It just felt right again.”

Blaine laughed, stroking Kurt’s cheek with his thumb.

“It’s fine. I think… I think I liked it. It was perfect.” Neither of them were sure if he was talking about the kiss or not. Neither of them particularly cared. Kurt reached down to switch on the string of lights that was coiled around the end of his bed. They didn’t know when it had got dark, but the soft glow of the lights was just right, making their skin glisten slightly, as Kurt leaned into Blaine, his head in the crook of his neck, their hands still entangled and Blaine’s arm wrapped around his shoulder.

As he lay against Blaine’s chest, he couldn’t help thinking about that song again. The song he’d been thinking about since they left school. The song about an arm wrapped around a shoulder, about lights laying before them, about moving so fast they felt drunk. But it was that one line that he couldn’t get out of his head: ‘I had a feeling that I belonged; I had a feeling I could be someone’ and he smiled thinking about it. He did belong. He belonged right here, in Blaine’s arms; Blaine, the boy in whose eyes he would always be someone.