Blaine didn't question Kurt about that night. He kept his curiosity to himself, even as Kurt closed in on himself in the days following. He had put walls up to block everyone out, smiling and nodding mechanically when he was spoken to. Whatever the dream was about it had messed with Kurt, and Blaine could see the effects. He didn't like it. He had spent the night holding Kurt as he cried and trembled in his arms, worrying, and then suddenly Kurt's walls were back and Blaine was worrying even more. Kurt was acting exactly as he had before he had tried to kill himself.

Blaine was terrified.

Kurt was now sitting on The hospital bed, dressed in a t-shirt and sweats, his sweatshirt resting on his crossed legs. He was being let out of the hospital, the schedules for his therapy and group meetings stuffed in the bag Carole had left for Blaine a few days ago. It was just him and Kurt at the moment, Blaine reading through his history textbook, trying to catch up on school work. Carole and Burt we heading over to the hospital to pick them up when they were both done at work. Blaine was going to stay for dinner at the Hummel-Hudson's house that night before he finally went home for the first time in 4 days.

He wasn't excited at all. He wished he could stay with Kurt, to be able to watch over him, to care for him so nothing like the other night would ever happen again. The thought of Kurt being left alone caused a shiver to run down Blaine's spine as he closed his eyes tightly. He glanced up at Kurt, who was staring at the wall across the room, his eyes hollow and unseeing. Blaine absolutely hated that look, but that's how it had been ever since he had woken up from the nightmare.

A knock on the room's door startled Blaine out of his thoughts, Blaine turning in his seat to watch Carole, Burt and the doctor walk in. Carole's lips automatically pulled into her usual smile when she saw the two boys, clapping her hands together. "You get to go home today!"

Kurt looked over and smiled, the smile not even close to reaching his eyes. Blaine ducked his head, looking away from Kurt again at the sight of the pitiful attempt at happiness.

Burt stood by the doctor, leaning over papers, talking and jotting things down with a pen, as Carole moved towards them, rubbing her hands together. "Your bathroom and room are clean. I'm making lasagna tonight, your favorite. It'll be wonderful, especially with Blaine being there too." Carole rested both of her hands on the sides of Kurt's face and leaned in to kiss his forehead. "I'm so glad you'll be back home."

"I'm glad too," Kurt said quietly, the pitiful smile still on his face.

Blaine abandoned his textbook in his chair to go gather up a few more things as the doctor stepped forward with a smile. "You're all set. Your discharge papers have been signed and everything is ready. You have your schedules right? You'll be back in a few days so we can check on your wrists."

Kurt looked down at the bandages as though he had forgotten they were there. He nodded, moving to the edge of the bed. The doctor handed a few papers to Burt, and gave another warm smile to Kurt before saying a farewell. Once the doctor was gone, Carole began ushering everyone up and around. "Come on, come on. Let's go. I'm sure you boys don't want to stay here any longer than you have to."

Blaine gathered clothes and a couple books, shoving them in his bag along with the papers. He picked up his sweatshirt and slipped it on, grabbing the bag and turning to watch Kurt step off the bed and slip on his own sweatshirt. "We've been ready, just waiting for you guys. I can't wait to finally get out of here." Blaine mumbled, as he walked over to lean against the door frame. Burt was watching him closely, but Blaine kept his gaze down, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"Well, alright then. Let's get you out of here," Burt said gruffly, wrapping an arm around Kurt's shoulders and squeezing his upper arm with his hand.

The ride home was quiet, Kurt and Blaine sitting in the back of the car while Burt drove and Carole occupied the passenger seat. Blaine kept glancing over at Kurt, wanting the boy to glance over and meet his eyes. He wanted to hold his hand on the ride home, to have him move over so they were sitting right next to each other and Blaine could curl his arm around his waist and hold him close.

But things weren't normal. Blaine had finally come to terms with it. Things weren't going to be normal with him and Kurt for a long time, if ever. He hated the thought, it causing a dull ache in his chest. He loved Kurt... So much. But everything was becoming so complicated.

So, so complicated for the both of them.

Pulling up to the house, everyone began to get out but Kurt. He sat in his seat, his eyes wide as he looked out his window, the fingers of his right hand curling around his left hand wrist. Blaine watched him from his stance at his still open car door, his eyes watching as his finger scratched at the bandages. "Come on, Kurt." Blaine heard his own choked voice before he realized he spoke, Kurt's head snapping to the side to look at him. He nodded before reaching over and opening his door, stepping out and looking at the house. Blaine's brow furrowed as he closed his door and went to the trunk to get his bag, before making his way to stand beside Kurt. He rested his hand on Kurt's bicep and he winced away, causing Blaine to bite harshly at his bottom lip.

"Let's go." Burt said, leading Carole to the house and unlocking the door to let everyone in. Kurt stepped inside and just stood there, staring around.

Everyone stopped and watched him, Blaine setting down the bag and taking a step towards him. "Maybe we should just... Relax till dinner. Then we can go upstairs."

Kurt looked over and blinked before nodding absently. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, Blaine. I'll be in the kitchen."

"I'll join her too," Burt said, his hand winding around Carole's waist.

Blaine nodded and motioned towards the living room. Kurt walked forward slowly, making his way into the living room at his own pace. Blaine stepped around him, going to grab the remote and stand by the couch turning it over in his hand, watching as Kurt looked at him once before sitting down in the arm chair next to the couch. Blaine nodded, chewing on his lip as he collapsed onto the couch end farthest from Kurt.

If that's what Kurt wanted. Then that's what he was going to get.

Blaine turned on the Tv and began flipping through channels. He tried to make it seem as though they had just gotten home from school, not from the hospital after Kurt had cut himself. He wanted at least a bit of normalcy in this darkened moment. But Kurt didn't even make a noise of disagreement when Blaine settled on Star Wars, which was highly unusual since Kurt would have tackled him and demanded him to change it.

But Kurt wasn't normal. Blaine will fight and convince Kurt he wasn't psycho or crazy, but he wasn't normal.

Blaine constantly reminded himself and he hated it.

He looked over at the boy who was curled up on the soft leather, his arms hugging his legs to his chest, and all he wished was for Kurt to open up and let him know why he was acting like he was.

Blaine sighed quietly, turning back to half pay attention to the movie playing out on the screen. He didn't really realize how exhausted he was till Carole had to shake his shoulder to wake him up after he had dozed of unknowingly. He yawned and stretched, feeling even more exhausted than before as he stood up, noticing that Kurt wasn't in the chair.

Blaine was greeted by a loud 'hello' from Finn as he stepped into the kitchen, Burt, Finn and Kurt already sitting at the table. Finn's plate was already full of lasagna and he was already mowing down a piece of Italian bread as Blaine took his seat across the table from him. Kurt was sitting next to Finn, his head down as he poked at the food with his fork. Carole gave him a concerned look as she set a glass of water in front of Blaine before sitting down at the chair at the end of the table.

The dinner table was even worse than the car ride home, everything silent, the only sounds being the scraping of forks against plates and Finn chewing loudly. Blaine kept his head low also as he ate, not wanting to catch anyone's gaze. Blaine's food was almost gone when he heard Carole clear her throat. Blaine glanced up, seeing Finn filling his plate once more. Carole parted her lips, as if to say something, but Kurt cut in with his quiet voice. "Can I be excused? I'm done and I'd like to go to bed."

Everyone looked over at him. Blaine could see his plate was still practically full and he knew both Carole and Burt knew it too, but Carole nodded with a forced smile. Kurt pushed away from the table and Blaine did the same, standing up, "Can I go too? I'll take his bag up."

"Of course," Carole said, pursing her lips slightly as she looked at Burt. Kurt didn't look at Blaine as he hurried out of the room and towards the stairs that led up to the second floor. Blaine grabbed the bag and took two steps at a time to get upstairs quickly. As Kurt was turning into his room, Blaine grabbed his arm right above his elbow making him stop. Kurt gasped and let out a yelp as he felt the fingers close around his arm, his body jerking to get away from Blaine, but Blaine didn't let go. He stepped into the room and closed the door with his foot, dropping the bag on the floor and grabbing Kurt's other arm with his other hand.

"Kurt, look at me," Blaine demanded, his eyes hard as he looked at him. Kurt had his face turned to the side, his eyes closed tightly.

"Let me go," Kurt got out through gritted teeth.

"No. I want you to look at me."

Kurt shook his head quickly, his teeth grinding together. "Let me go!" he said louder, pulling against Blaine's grip.

"Look at me, Kurt!" Blaine yelled.

Kurt's eyes flew open at the volume and anger in his voice, looking at Blaine with wide eyes.

Wide, innocent, terrified blue eyes that automatically made Blaine's grip crumble. "I'm sorry."

Kurt flinched away from Blaine, wrapping his arms around himself as he glanced back at him before going over to sit on the edge of his bed.

Blaine looked at his hands, flexing them, ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for."

Kurt didn't answer, he just tightened his hold around himself and took in a shaky breath as he stared at the floor.

Blaine sighed and stared at his feet, seeing a dull red spot still stained into the cream colored carpet. He padded slowly over to the bed and sat on the edge beside Kurt, making sure not to be too close.

"I'm sorry, Kurt...." Blaine murmured. This was it. Blaine couldn't hold in anything any longer. He wanted Kurt to know his thoughts before they clawed out of his mouth at the most inopportune moment. "I'm sorry that I started that fight. I'm sorry I made you feel as if I didn't love you anymore. When I love you so much. So much it hurts, Kurt." Blaine took a deep breath and looked down at the floor, closing his eyes. "That's why I want to know what's going on. That's why I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me everything that's troubling you.

"I can just see the walls you have put up around yourself. I saw them the first day I met you, I saw them a few days ago and I see them now. And I saw them crumble once, I want to see them crumble again. But I don't see that happening till you open up to me. And when we decided to start this relationship, I hoped this would be a truthful relationship. With no secrets. Because we don't judge each other, and I still don't judge you now. I'm not judging you for what you did, or how you're acting. I just want to see the boy who I love so much. And the boy sitting beside me isn't him. But... I get if you don't want to tell me. I get it. Since that fight, I'd get it if you don't even want to talk to me. But you kind of messed that up when you got my hopes up for us when you asked me to kiss you when you woke up. I know that you probably haven't gotten over the fight, and yes, we should talk about it. But we can't talk about it until you tell me what has been bothering you for so long." Blaine took a shaky breath in, biting his lip for a moment, before opening his eyes and standing up. "I really want this to continue to work between us. I love you, and I wish I would have been here to stop you and help. I want to be able to be around to care for you and make sure nothing ever bothers you so much that you want to do that again. But... With the way you have been acting since the nightmare you had a couple days ago, I don't know if I can handle it. I had to watch you cry and sob into my arms for what felt like hours and I got no explanation. I still don't have an explanation for what you- you did to yourself!" Blaine muttered, gesturing towards one of Kurt's wrists.

"An explanation, Kurt. That's all I want. I don't want you shutting me out. I want to hear you talk to me like before, I want to be able to hold you without feeling your body shake with sobs. I want to hear your voice tell me you love me back. That's all I want. Is all this really too much to ask?" Blaine felt like he was begging as looked at Kurt with big eyes. "Unless... You don't love me anymore." His voice broke as he glanced away for a moment. "I mean. I understand for how rude I was to you. But let me know, so I'm not ripping myself apart." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, waiting for Kurt to answer.

Kurt just stared straight ahead, his lips pressed tightly together. Blaine let out a frustrated sound. He just poured out almost all of his thoughts to Kurt, but it was like he didn't care. His eyes burned with tears as he shook his head.

Was all this really too much to ask for?

He wanted his Kurt back. He wanted the normalcy back in his life.

Blaine stepped towards Kurt, reaching out and resting his fingers along both of his cheekbones, ignoring when the boy flinched, angling his head up. "Let me know what you want. Then maybe I'll come back." His voice broke again as he closed his eyes and leaned forward, placing a kiss on the corner of Kurt's mouth. He pulled away and left the room, leaving the bag and everything.

He couldn't be there any longer. Not with Kurt like that.

He stopped by the door, gripping the edge of the wood in his fingers as he glanced back at Kurt who was watching him. He shook his head as he let out a shuddery breath, closing the door behind him.

He just wanted everything back to normal.

Back to how they were when they were happy.