Kurt tried. He really did. He tried laughing, listening to his friends' jokes. He even ate his salad quickly– nothing really worked. He still felt disturbed and agitated. Of course, it was easy for him to hide what he felt because of his acting education. But still, he could feel his heart beating rapidly and a cold sweat making its way down his neck. He had always felt the need to protect himself from pain and he was good at it, until after Quinn's remarks. Now, all he can think of is Blaine.

Maybe he's scared. Maybe he's devastated. Maybe he's a little angry. These familiar feelings are racing to the forefront of his mind once again, and it's breaking down his invisible wall he has worked on for 10 years. So he decides to force himself to be okay. When a door is stuck, the best way to open it is to force it. Kurt had to do it. He didn't want to breakdown and cry in front of his old friends. They knew he had moved on and he's not going to disappoint them. He will be okay.

He had to admit that he had been anxious the past few days, especially since Blaine was still making appearances in his life through others. Now, he thinks of himself as the enabler. He was here to have a good time. Past is past. It can't write the future but it can be a learning experience.

Kurt decided that he should start letting go and leaving every dirty experience he had to the past. He should just start laughing at it rather than feeling hate towards it. He's not the same naïve and innocent kid from Ohio; he's stronger now and better. And whatever his ex-boyfriend did shouldn't concern him anymore. Blaine had been part of his life before but he doesn't control Kurt's life now. He could vanish one day and Kurt wouldn't care because he'd be happy and satisfied then. He's sure of it.

Kurt tried redirecting his attention to his friends. There were a few things that he couldn't understand; like how Finn could eat so much pasta and still feel hungry afterwards? Or how Rachel could talk so much without having her throat void of saliva? Or how Quinn could stay pretty even when she's laughing horrendously? And how he could listen to them talk about silly things and still find it amusing. Kurt was thankful that Rachel had an enormous amount of topics she could discuss; because it prohibited Quinn from mentioning Blaine again. Not that he was waiting for that particular topic to come up. Because he could act like nothing was bothering him. He's not going to panic like before. Kurt had learned his lesson.

Around ten O'clock, Rachel and Finn decided to call it a day with the reason that their daughter wouldn't sleep when they weren't around. Kurt found it ridiculous since their kid had just turned eight last month. He thought them using their daughter as a reason was very wise. Kurt and Quinn couldn't really force them to stay longer knowing that their daughter was having tantrums on the other side of the city. After the Hudson's left, the room was engulfed in silence. There were only a few costumers left and they were all eating silently. Kurt tried not to look awkward in front of Quinn and tried to remain nonchalant. He gave her a bright smile that the latter returned before ordering chocolate cake for dessert.

"I'm sorry about the Blaine thing." Quinn muttered after the waiter took the order and left.

"It's okay. There's no need to apologize." Kurt said, and then paused. He bit his lower lip and looked at Quinn with hesitation. He knew this subject would be re-visited once they were alone. He was expecting this conversation to arise and he couldn't hide his interest any longer. Quinn had always been the understanding one. She evolved from a pessimistic mean girl to a woman of reason. Kurt admired her for that. "So... speaking of Blaine Anderson…"

Quinn's eyes suddenly shot right up to his. She looked at him confusedly, trying to read where Kurt was going with the conversation, and then she smiled. It wasn't teasing or smug, but more of a knowing grin. Kurt took it as a signal to continue.

"You said he's changed? What do you mean?"

Quinn hesitated for a moment. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped, then she drank some wine to sooth her throat. She ran her fingers through her hair before looking back at Kurt, "Yeah. He's even more handsome than before. "

Kurt raised his eyebrow at Quinn with complete dissatisfaction. He was about to mock her for her comment but he was interrupted when the waiter came back with their order. After the chocolate cake had been served and they were left alone again, Quinn laughed a little, breaking the abrupt silence between them by shaking her head.

"We knew him as a people pleaser, friendly, outgoing, always smiling, a gentleman, polite… I don't know Kurt. When I saw him, he seemed more concern as to why I was talking to him. He seemed scared that I might hit him or make fun of him." Quinn explained, her voice faltering. Her eyes were serious as she cast them to Kurt. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"He talks a little, smiles when he has to and mostly communicates through body language. He just looks like an outsider rather than a famous happy singer. And his eyes, they're just sad."

Kurt wanted to smile but he couldn't; not when he was hearing all these revelations. The truth was he had never talked about Blaine not since their break up. His friends and family respected his wishes. Without his knowing, time passed by and he started to forget until Blaine showed up on his wedding day. His presence angered him deeply. That day was supposed to be special and he couldn't believe Blaine would parade himself around in front of his husband and family. Though, the truth is, it also confused him as to why he came and what his purpose was. He never got the answers to his questions. Blaine didn't really do anything to ruin his day. He just watched Kurt walk down the aisle and get married before disappearing. That was the last time he saw Blaine. For ten years, Kurt had only cared about himself, his family and his future. He tried really hard to make his life his own again. Now, his past was haunting him. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't seen it coming. One day or another, Blaine's name would pop out in a conversation whether it was with his friends or colleagues, accidentally or not and Kurt couldn't do anything about it. He knew he had to be strong in order for him not to care. But that was not the case; his pain was still there inside of him and his tough attitude and optimism that had protected him ever since Blaine left were starting to fade. After years of trying, he's here now with his high school friend looking frail rather than strong.

Kurt sighed, a smirk pulling at his lips, "Well he didn't look like it when I saw his interview on E."

"Really?" Quinn asked; her face full of interest and concern. She leaned forward, resting both of her elbows on the table, and stared at him keenly.

"Really. And then I changed the channel as soon as I saw his face."

"Kurt, what we see on TV is not always as it seems. Sometimes, we want to believe so desperately that we convince ourselves that it's real. That it is what is. But in truth, it's not." Quinn replied forlornly. She leaned back against her chair and stared at the ceiling, trying to compose herself.

Kurt didn't say anything after that, mostly because he didn't know what to say. Quinn just smiled sadly at him before drinking her wine. They stayed silent, watching and understanding each other's sentiments. She didn't try to bring the topic again. For a moment, Kurt and Quinn seemed to have all the space in the world. They lean their heads against the top rail of their chair, eating their cake as if it's the only medicine to whatever ache they're feeling right now. Kurt accepted the silence in remorse. He doesn't know anything about Blaine anymore and maybe, Quinn is right about being deceived by what he sees on TV. He believed that Blaine must be having the time of his life now that he's famous and living his dream but now, he wasn't so sure. He had protected himself too much that his hatred with Blaine has blinded him to the truth. But now that he's been enlightened, it just made him more confused.

After paying the bill equally, Kurt invited Quinn to stay at his apartment for the rest of her visit. She accepted with a grateful smile before hugging him tightly. Kurt drove her to the hotel to get her things. She was informed by the receptionist, that check-out would be in the morning. She kindly regarded this and agreed to come back to deal with it the next day. After her luggage was safely placed in the car's trunk, Kurt drove her back to his apartment located in Manhattan's Upper East Side.

The lights were still turned on when they arrived. Kurt made his way to the living room and saw the twins and their Nanny watching MTV on their flat-screened TV. Alfie was sitting lazily with his nanny on the couch while Coco was mimicking the singers they'd been watching. Kurt tried to hide his smile before clearing his throat to get their attention. When Coco finally noticed him, she ran and jumped on him, wrapping her tiny arms around his slender body. The nanny smiled brightly at Kurt and excused herself to give the family some private time. Alfie glanced at Kurt, to acknowledge his presence before re-focusing his eyes back to the TV. Kurt understood that his son was still upset because of the sudden cancellation of their zoo trip. He decided to allow Alfie's rude behavior slide to avoid arguing with his son. Afraid that she might be interrupting family bonding time, Quinn shyly peeped her head into the door and waved to the children.

"Hey guys, guess who's crashing here for a few days?" Kurt grinned as he gestured to Quinn who approached them timidly.

"Hi, you look like my doll." Coco said, as she snuggled into Kurt's chest, slightly peeking at Quinn.

"Why, thank you Coco." Quinn replied with a wide smile, walking closer to her to get a good view of her face.

The little girl smiled at her smartly. She wiggled her feet to indicate to her father to put her down. Once on the ground, she glided towards Quinn and fondly gazed at her. "You're welcome, Barbie."

"Is she our new nanny?" Alfie suddenly asked. He looked at Quinn and Kurt with a weary look on his face. His arms crossed, showing that he was unhappy with the arrangement. Bored and annoyed, his eyes went back to the TV.

"No honey. She's your Aunt Quinn. She's one of my best friends from high school." Kurt replied, trying to hide his soreness from his son's tone and action.

"Great, is she your replacement for our zoo trip? Because if not; then you just added another reason as to why you couldn't take us to the zoo." Alfie commented without taking his eyes off the TV.

Kurt flinched at his son's words but he tried his best to keep his normal façade. He didn't want to appear weak in front of his children but he couldn't help feeling hurt from the way his son had been treating him. He wanted a happy family but his work had been keeping him from doing that. He had no one to blame but himself and his need to fulfill his dreams. He swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat before sitting down beside Alfie on the couch.

"Look, Alfie. I'm sorry about last time. I'm not backing out on our trip. I made a promise didn't I?" Kurt explained; his voice soft and understanding. He laid his hand on his son's arm, hoping that he'd look at him and see how sorry he was.

Unfortunately, his son didn't look up and seemed determined to keep the strong and bored look on his face. "Adults often break their promises."

"You have to understand. Your father and I have been busy." Kurt replied, almost pleadingly. He leaned his head closer to Alfie in order to block the TV from the little boy's view. When his face finally aligned with his son's, his eyes grew big as he quickly pulled his head away. His son's face was full of frustration and disgust.

"I do understand that you guys are always busy!"

Alfie spat then gave him a look before running upstairs and locking himself in his room. Kurt glanced at the stairs silently before resting his head on the soft rail of their sofa.

"Papa, I don't hate you." Coco suddenly said. She approached him and gave him a kiss on his cheek before walking slowly back to her room.

Kurt knew that he hadn't been the perfect father to his kids but he didn't expect he'd be treated like this. He and Orlando were both prominent figures in the Broadway industry and offers for new projects kept coming in for the both of them. Neither wanted to sacrifice their career that's why they'd decided to buy a house in another state so that they'd be forced to take a break. They weren't ready to quit. Though, Kurt knew that having children demanded sacrifice and attention. He wanted to raise his kids away from the showbiz industry but he's not ready to leave his job. He didn't think his children would be angry with them for not always being there. They both had excellent grades at their private school. As time passes; he was starting to feel distance between himself and the kids. He thought they could handle this arrangement. As it turns out, his children were already suffering. Alfie was the only one not afraid to show his resentment. Kurt had no idea things would be this hard. He felt like a stranger trying to impress them so they would like him. Quinn quietly sat beside him leaning her head on his shoulder, letting him know that she was sorry for what had happened.

"I'm sorry about that, Quinn." Kurt whispered, fighting the tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay Kurt." Quinn replied. She tried comforting him by stroking his arm.

Kurt smiled at her gratefully; as he let his head fall on hers, "Come, I'll show you your room."

"After. Try to release this one first." Quinn whispered; her voice soft and consoling.

With that, Kurt finally let his guard down and let his tears fall from his eyes. Maybe by releasing the pain, he'd be able to be strong in his kids' eyes again. He needed to be.

The next morning, Kurt woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. He pulled his body up slowly from his bed and climbed downstairs to see whom was cooking breakfast. He was welcomed by a warm smile from Quinn who was wearing the nanny's apron and was busy frying some eggs. He glanced around the kitchen and saw his kids sitting at the dining table waiting for their breakfast to be served. In good spirits, Kurt sat beside his son and patted the boy's shoulder to assure him that he was not mad about last night. Alfie glanced at him sadly before biting his lip.

"Sorry Papa for yelling at you last night."

Kurt stared at his son then his eyes grew wide, a smile forming on his face, "Thank you, baby. You're forgiven."

Alfie smiled at him and at Quinn who gave the boy thumbs up. Kurt glanced back at his friend and gave her an appreciative smile. She gazed back at him, pretending to be clueless and went back to her cooking. He turned his attention back to his son as he touched his arm softly to get his attention.

"Listen, baby, I'm sorry about last week. How about we go to the zoo later?"

"But Daddy's not here." Alfie whispered, striving to remind him, with a sad look on his face.

Kurt gave him a reassuring smile as he wrapped his arm around him. "Don't worry, when he gets back, I'll make sure we all go to Disney Land."

"Really?" exclaimed Alfie excitedly. Kurt was amazed to see his son's sudden transformation from sad to happy. Even if he tried, he knew he couldn't hide the joy that was already plastered on his face.

"I promise." Kurt assured him.

Coco jumped out of her chair and started twirling happily. "I want to go to Hello Kitty Land!"

Kurt brightened up to see his little girl dancing in anticipation. It also helped that his son had given him a genuine smile. He felt needed and pleased. Every parent wants to see their children cheerful and for Kurt, this kind of happiness wasn't something he could achieve with his friends or partner. This was something way better than that. "I'll let your daddy know."

"You're the best Papa!" replied the twins in unison.

Kurt laughed at their antics as the twins stared at each other with a shocked look on their faces. He noticed Quinn smiling at them and when she realized that she was being watched, she gave him a wink before turning her attention back to the stove.

"I guess the family is going to the zoo tomorrow?" Quinn said, her back facing Kurt, as she concentrated on her cooking. Even though Kurt couldn't see her face, he knew the girl was smiling.

"Clear your schedule today, Princess. You're coming with us!" Kurt chuckled lightly, as he messed with his son's hair resulting in an eye narrowing look.

"Yes, sir," Quinn turned her head and smiled.

The kids were already hyper when Kurt drove passed the RFK Bridge. They were singing along with the new Nicki Minaj song that was playing on the radio. Quinn, whom was on the passenger seat, playfully crooned the second verse. When the song hit the highest note, Kurt belted out his falsetto voice overpowering the voice of the kids. They spent the whole road trip singing to the newest pop songs and laughing at some silly jokes that Quinn kept on sharing to entertain the kids. They reached the Bronx around ten after a sudden traffic jam on the Bruckner Expressway, delaying their arrival thirty minutes. The zoo was already packed with locals and tourists scattered around every corner. Kurt arranged for his daughter to walk with him, while his son was to walk with Quinn in case got separated. They went to the Madagascar area first since the twins wanted to see the Mongoose and the Lemurs. Kurt got frightened at the sight of the crocodiles which made Quinn laugh, but was soon retaliated when they reached the hissing cockroaches; which absolutely horrified her. Afterwards, they went to the Jungle World where the kids joyfully exclaimed they felt like they were in the Amazon. Kurt's was confused at the twins' fascination with creepy jungles and when he shared it with Quinn, she laughed at him and silently agreed.

When Coco insisted that she wanted to see the penguins in a while; Alfie expressed that he wanted to observe the white tigers instead. Kurt and Quinn decided that it was time to separate. Promising that they'll both call each other after to meet up, Kurt headed to the aviary with Coco. Quinn was left with Alfie who smartly lead the way to the Tiger Mountain. After taking a picture and watching the tigers interact with each other, Alfie finally sat down on the nearest bench with Quinn to rest his tired legs. Quinn observed him quietly as she rested her back against the wooden slats of the bench, smiling as the boy glanced back at her curiously.

"I heard you're a smart kid." Quinn smiled, waiting for the kid to say something.

Alfie glanced at her and forced a smile. "I see that you're a great observer."

"I've seen a lot of things, Alfie. And I can see that your father is doing his best to make things right between the two of you. If only you would let him."

"I already did what you told me earlier." Alfie spat, turning his eyes back to the tigers, secretly hoping that Quinn would just leave the conversation as it was.

"It looks like you're still holding some bitterness against him." Quinn insisted quietly, offering a small smile. "He is trying his best."

Alfie interjected as he crossed his arms as if trying to protect himself from her watchful eyes. "Then he should try harder. Leaving us to a stranger almost every day sucks."

"Your father is just working hard to make a living so you guys can have a good future." Quinn explained to the boy but was given the cold shoulder in exchange.

"Make a living, huh? Or make a name for himself?"

Quinn shook her head, feeling her cheeks redden from his harsh words, "I know this is difficult for you but Kurt loves you and he would do anything for you guys."

"Sometimes love isn't enough." Alfie argued quietly, his voice barely above a whisper as he turned his head to Quinn to give her a stern look.

Quinn watched the boy quietly, knowing that his harsh look was to challenge her on her ideals about love. She opened her mouth to say something but hesitated. Taking a deep breath, she bit her lower lip before continuing.

"Let me tell you a story about love."

"There was a couple who were very much in love with each other. They were high school sweethearts and they both decided to follow their dreams to the big city. They were really happy until one day, something bad happened that broke the heart of the other and ever since then the other never recovered. And to this day, he still feels betrayed and angry. Even though he said he's moved on; he's never really forgiven the other. He just thought that maybe time would heal his pain…"

Kurt woke up from the noise of his alarm clock. He had slept late because he had been reviewing the history of Russian Theater Arts coming up on his final exam. He rose from his bed and noticed a blank CD lying on his desk. He didn't know who left it there but rather than wasting his time guessing and lurking, he decided to run to the bathroom in order to avoid being late. This was their last day before their winter break and Kurt couldn't hide his excitement. He had arranged for his boyfriend to spend Christmas with him and he couldn't wait to go shopping for presents for his family and friends. Sending a quick good morning text to Blaine, Kurt rushed to the Drama Building at NYU hoping that his professor was somewhere stuck in traffic. When he arrived at the AVR, Kurt noticed his classmates were assembled at the corner of the room watching something that they seemed to find funny or controversial, considering most of them were laughing and gasping.

"What's that?" Kurt asked as he approached them. He tried to get inside the group to see what they were up to.

Rachel, who had also been watching, silently gasped the moment she saw Kurt and tried to pull him out. Kurt frowned at her and pushed her lightly, confusion obvious on his face. He tried shoving some of them so he could get a good view of the laptop that seemed to be playing some kind of a hidden camera show. Kurt felt Rachel's hands again on his arm, as she tried to pull him out more aggressively. It's unusual for Rachel to push his buttons but more importantly, he doesn't understand why she's determined not to let him see this little show that the whole class has been enjoying. He was about to confront her when he heard a familiar voice coming from the built in stereo of the laptop.

"Harder. Please."

Kurt's body froze, his eyes widen as he tried to catch his breath. He turned his head towards his classmates who were busy watching and cursing at the same time. He walked right up to them and forcefully pushed them out of his way. When he reached the laptop, he felt as if his heart would hammer out of his ribs and his breath came tearing out of him in great heaving, frightened sobs. He stared at the laptop as he pictured his future, his life, his everything crumbling in front of him. He felt all of his classmates' eyes on him and he just wanted to disappear. He shrugged them off by concentrating on the video. 'This must be a prank.' He thought, trying to swallow a huge lump that had formed in his throat. Kurt clasped his hands to his face as reality began to hit him.

Blaine was there lying on the bed with three men that Kurt recognized as his boyfriend's frat mates having hard, dirty, unprotected, but seemingly consensual sex. Kurt felt like his heart was ripped slowly from his chest as he fought the tears wavering in his eyes. Suddenly, he felt his stomach churn. Blaine glanced at the camera with a lewd look on his face.

He knew he was on camera.