Oct. 7, 2012, 6:59 a.m.
Deafening Silence: Old Friends
E - Words: 4,698 - Last Updated: Oct 07, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 7/? - Created: Nov 16, 2011 - Updated: Oct 07, 2012 206 0 0 0 0
It was a busy and ordinary day in New York. The city was already packed with tourists and locals who were ready to explore what the Big Apple had to offer. Kurt Hummel guides his car in heavy Monday morning traffic. He had his music on maximum volume to numb his brain from his thoughts. A lot of vehicles whizzed by but he didn't really notice. His mind was too preoccupied to even care. He couldn't handle the noise outside but he was also afraid to hear his own breathing, so he drowns himself in music. Desperately trying to convince himself that he shouldn't be focusing on one particular person. Kurt takes in the views as he drives towards Broadway Street; people lining up for coffee at a nearby café, the ever busy Central Park, yellow cabs on the road.
Ever since their little trip in Ohio last week Kurt has been agitated. He wishes he wasn't but he can't help it. He tried being nonchalant about the matter but the whole story about his ex-boyfriend who tried to kill himself has made Kurt distressed. Yes, he's annoyed that he can't stop thinking about it and he's angry that Blaine still has that power over him. But the truth is, a part of him wanted to know why his ex-boyfriend would even try to end his life and yet a part of him is scared to know the answer. He doesn't want to expose himself to their past. Kurt can't let Blaine win. Not this time.
And it doesn't really help that his husband will be gone for a week. Orlando's newest investor was going to watch a ballet show in Russia and had invited him to go and spend a week there. Kurt finds it ridiculous but since Orlando told him that the man was very interested in sponsoring the show, he decided to be supportive. But really, he just wanted to have his husband by his side especially now that Blaine's memories have come back to haunt him again.
After a short drive to the Wilson theatre, Kurt goes to his show's daily rehearsal with a fake smile. He had promised Orlando to meet up with him after the show at Le Cirque Restaurant for a small intimate dinner together. Though troubled, Kurt went meanders through rehearsal with a professional attitude and their director, Roberto, doesn't seem to notice his slight depression. He prides himself for being a professional and not even Blaine or his suicide attempts could ruin it.
Later that evening, he hurriedly drives down East 58th street as he worries that his husband might get upset that he's late for their date. Upon arriving, he kindly asks for his table. The middle-aged, brunette host smiles at him and politely leads the way. Orlando was already at their table and he immediately stood up the moment he saw Kurt.
"Always the grand entrance, love." Orlando stated with a big grin on his face.
Kurt reached for Orlando's hand and they stood there for a while, smiling at each other. Orlando pulled the chair out from across him to let Kurt sit. Their dinner was nothing spectacular, but it was intimate enough for the couple. Kurt animatedly shared his day with Orlando whom gave him an amused smile. From the demanding requests of Roberto, their director, to the exaggerated acting of his co-star, Melanie Pierce; Kurt shares it with his husband like he's sharing it with his best friend. Orlando listens to him intently; his right hand on his face, as he sneaks in some remarks whenever he feels obligated. Kurt is grateful for his husband's way of conciliation but still he's sad that he's leaving him tomorrow.
"Do you really have to go to Russia?" Kurt finally asked as he squeezes his husband's hand.
Orlando looked at him warmly, grabbing his lovers hand and pulling it near him. He offered him a remorseful smile. "Yeah, but I'll be back next week."
"The kids are not going to be happy about this." Kurt commented seriously, his tone warning and calculative.
The older man turned his eyes on him; obviously taken aback, but he shrugged it off. "I know. I'll make it up to them." Orlando replied sadly, his smile slowly falling.
Kurt can feel the remorse in his lover's tone and he can't help feeling guilty for even warning him like that. They tried really hard to make sure that they could spend more time with their kids as much as possible but having a Broadway show really makes it a bit impossible. The kids are too young to watch Kurt's show and Orlando has been busy composing new scores for his new play. The hired nanny told them that the kids had been upset when Orlando had cancelled their zoo trip last week so Kurt had promised to take them tomorrow.
"Make sure you tell them that you're going and when you're coming back." Kurt noted, forcing a small smile to lighten up the mood.
Their children are quite different from each other and Kurt couldn't help but to notice the uncanny resemblance and traits that they had inherited from both of them. Their daughter, Coco, has always been oblivious and free-minded. She doesn't really mind if her fathers aren't always home as long as she gets her favourite things. More often than not, Kurt will bring her the latest clothes collection, gadgets or anything that sparkles. She loves everything Kurt brings her and in exchange she forgives him for breaking some of the promises he has made. On the contrary, Orlando spoils Coco like a princess and would buy anything she asks. Kurt does not like his husband being compliant to her. Orlando usually gets an hour-long lesson on parenting from him. Alfie, on the other hand, is another story. Though twins, the young boy is the exact opposite of his sister. He does not act like a prince or a spoiled-rich kid rather he acts like a loner. He's quiet for his age and he would rather read a book than play video games, unlike most of the kids. He's also captivated with music and would watch MTV every night. Kurt approves of his son's dislike of luxury things. But it also worries him when he doesn't ask for anything. Orlando had given their son a credit card so he could buy what he wants, but it seems like the kid has never used it. Alfie's professor at Loyola Private School had mentioned to Kurt once that the boy was too smart for his age and that he was an accelerator. It made them proud; still Kurt could feel his son's aloofness and detachment from them and it scared him.
"I promise." Orlando nodded; he winked at Kurt and smiled. For a moment, Kurt forgot his worries. "Will you miss me?"
"No."
"Wow. Really, Baby?" Orlando cried dramatically, pretending to be hurt from Kurt's abrupt no.
"Of course I'll miss you, silly," Kurt answered, rolling his eyes. He leaned back on his chair as he smirked at Orlando who gave a small laugh. "Stop being so melodramatic."
"I love you." Orlando said, his forearm resting on his face as he looked at Kurt lovingly with his green eyes.
Kurt stared at his husband, feeling overwhelmed by Déjà vu. He felt his body freeze for a moment. He suddenly recalls a certain scenario that happened 12 years ago in a coffee shop he used to love. It was said in the same manner and same tone that it had him taken aback. He forced himself back to reality as he tried to hide his worries so he could give Orlando a grateful smile.
"I-I love you too." Kurt replied. His heart was pounding like crazy. He silently cursed himself for stuttering.
Thankfully, Orlando didn't notice for he continued to smile at his husband like a love-sick teenager. "By the way, Rachel called. She's inviting you over for dinner tomorrow with Finn and Quinn."
"Quinn?" Kurt asked in surprise. "She's in New York?"
"Yeah, Rachel mentioned that she's visiting." Orlando answered as he turned his eyes back to his pasta.
"Great! I'll send your love to them." Kurt stated in excitement. He hadn't seen Quinn for almost three years and he couldn't wait to talk to her again. When Orlando chuckled lightly, Kurt managed to tone down his smile and gaze at his husband fondly, "Do you need me to drive you to the airport tomorrow?"
Orlando laughed and threw a wink at Kurt. "Don't worry, baby. I can manage."
That dinner was all it took to make Kurt feel like he has nothing to worry about as far as the Blaine issue. It made him realize that he has the most amazing and caring husband. Orlando insisted he should be the one to pay since he was leaving for a whole week; also because he was the one who asked for the date. The couple walked towards the lobby to wait for the valet to fetch their car.
"Kurt? Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt turned and saw a familiar Asian American man. One he noticed was taller and older looking than the last time he saw him. The man was wearing a mahogany Ferragamo suit, black eye glasses, and a pair of Tom Ford leather black shoes. WesleyMontgomery was the Dalton Academy Warbler's ex-head council, school prefect, student body president, and one of Blaine's best friends; stared back at him in shock. Kurt took a large gulp and froze at the sight.
"Wes?" He managed, as he tried to compose himself. He saw Wes' face brightened as he walked over to him and gave him a tight hug. Kurt offered the Warbler a hesitant smile. "Hey, it's been so long! What are you doing here?"
"I met up with one of my clients for business." Wes informed him, before patting him on his back. "Damn, look at you Mr. Broadway superstar."
Kurt chuckled tensely. After he broke up with Blaine, he avoided all the Warblers especially Wes and David. He didn't see the need to communicate with his ex-boyfriend's mates for it would only add to the pain. He truly considered them as his friends, but for Kurt, keeping in touch with them was like keeping in touch with Blaine. He refused to be a part of Blaine's life anymore so he decided to move on and forget everything about his old lover; his friends included. Kurt hadn't seen any of the Warblers for a decade and he was surprised to see Wes genuinely smile at him as if nothing had happened. Wes was always the understanding one and he used to be so close with him. The Asian was usually Blaine's counselor every time the two had a fight and more often than not, he took Kurt's side. Wes was the one with insightful advice even though he delivered it with a harsh, demanding and mostly demeaning tone. He understood the two of them and he cared deeply about their relationship, like how Mercedes and Rachel cared about them. Kurt immediately felt different. He was about to say something to Wes when his husband cleared his throat to get his attention.
"Oh, Wes, this is my husband, Orlando." Kurt introduced nervously; gesturing his hand to Orlando. He turned his gaze to his husband and offered him a cautious smile. "Orlando, this is Wes, one of my friends from Dalton."
"You're married? I didn't know!" Wes commented in surprise. He enthusiastically reached for Orlando's hand and shook it softly, "Nice to meet you."
"I would've invited–" Kurt tried, not entirely sure how to put his words together. He wanted to explain himself to Wes and tell him about his insecurities and decisions in regards to Blaine. He looked at Wes and tried to be apologetic but Wes just let out a laugh and gazed back at him with an understanding façade.
"It's okay Kurt. I completely understand."
This is it. Though thankful for Wes' kind words, he didn't like where the conversation was going. Kurt felt uncomfortable. He knew Blaine's name would come up if he continued with this little conversation he was having with his old friend. Kurt stared at the door where he saw the valet boy waving at them. He threw a glance to his husband, before returning his attention back to Wes.
"We're just waiting for our car… and it looks like it's here now… so…"
"Oh yeah, sure," Wes said, noticing Kurt's discomfort. He offered him a polite and understanding smile before immediately shoving his hands in his pockets, pulling out a calling card from his wallet. "Kurt, I'd really like to catch up with you, so here's my card. Call me, please."
"Yeah." Kurt hesitantly took the card. He then realized that Wes' eyes were on his. He was trying to tell him something but Kurt could see he was trying to hide it for Orlando's sake. So, Kurt just shrugged and beamed at his old friend. "It was nice seeing you again, Wes."
"You too, Kurt. But I'd like to see you again." Wes said, almost pleadingly then he turned to Orlando and smiled, "And it was nice meeting you, Orlando. Sorry for keeping you guys."
"Not at all," Orlando replied.
The moment they entered the car, Kurt felt the tension but he kept it to himself. After turning on the engine, he tried driving carefully but having his husband stare at him curiously made him feel cautious. He hated this feeling; like he'd been caught doing something horrible, which wasn't true. But still, he couldn't help feeling that way. His self control over the matter had been wiped away and he had no one to blame but Blaine. Yes, it was Blaine still eating away his equanimity and poise, even though he was miles away. Kurt suddenly hit the brakes hard, wanting to get out of the car and run as fast as he could. He realized that his husband was on the passenger side gawking at him.
"You look really awkward there, Kurt." Orlando said breaking the silence that had fallen over them.
Kurt took a deep breath and tried to avoid his eyes. Why does he feel so nervous? It's not like he's cheating on Orlando. It was just his stupid past he had with Blaine that involved some of the richest kids of America and Wes happened to be one of them. But he doesn't understand why he's determined not to tell Orlando. It's not like he had something horrible to hide. Plus, he was over it and he's pretty sure he's not in love with Blaine anymore. Still Kurt decided to pretend not to know what Orlando was getting at. It was much easier to deny what happened than to face the truth. And Kurt couldn't picture what would happen if he ever tried to tell the Blaine story to Orlando. He doesn't want any complications; he just wants the easy way out.
"What are you talking about?" Kurt could hear the denial in his own voice though he attempted to keep his voice calm and normal. His eyelashes might have skirmished a bit, but he's pretty sure that Orlando wouldn't notice it.
"Is he really a friend?" Orlando asked curiously as he furrowed his brows, noticing the abrupt answers and edgy acts of his husband.
"Yes he is." Kurt replied, as he swiftly turned at the intersection to the Upper East Side. He faltered for a moment and sighed, before he explained. "We just haven't seen each other for a very long time, I guess. And he looked really grown up".
"Old fling perhaps?" Orlando asked; his eyes twinkled at Kurt as he leaned forward trying to get a reaction from him.
Kurt gaped at his husband, clearly flabbergasted. He wanted to say something sarcastic to mock or annoy his husband for making stupid assumptions in his head. Though, he's thankful that his worries were now forgotten because of his little innocent remark. He figured that whatever happened and whoever they crossed; even if it was Blaine related or not; he knew why he was with Orlando. It's much simpler with him. There were no worries, no complicated family, no need to please anybody, or constant drama that made him want to kill himself. Orlando was the perfect prince charming that any person would want. With him, everything seemed easy. It doesn't matter if he still has issues with his ex, or if he's worried that his past would ruin him. Because he's pretty sure that he'll overcome it soon enough; as long as he's with his husband. Kurt blinked at his husband, clearly astounded, before laughing. His eyes cringed as he tried to gasp for air. "Baby, that guy is as straight as a metal pole. Okay? Let it go."
"Sorry, just trying to make you smile." Orlando chuckled, still amused at his husband's laughter.
The next morning, Kurt helped Orlando pack his things. He asked his husband if he could drive him again to the airport but Orlando informed him that he had already called for a cab and he should just rest on his day off. Coco and Alfie woke up surprisingly early to see their father off, ignoring Kurt's protests to go back to bed. Orlando just laughed it off and apologized to the kids for breaking his promise to go to the zoo with them and promised that he'd bring them some presents when he comes back. After kissing them goodbye, he turned to his husband and kissed him full on the lips. Kurt blushed and complained that he shouldn't do that in front of the kids but Orlando just smiled.
"I want to make love toyou when I get back." Orlando said, his voice teasing.
Before Kurt could smack him, he quickly left the apartment and walked towards the waiting cab. Kurt eyes widened as he stared at his husband then to his children who were sniggering beside him. He stared at them before raising an eyebrow, his right arm on his hips.
"Papa, I guess you're stuck with porn for now." Alfie commented innocently before running off with his twin sister.
"Alexander Alfie Hummel-Quenelle! You get back here this instant!"
An abrupt call from his director had ruined Kurt's schedule for the day. Apparently, their cast was asked to perform for the Tony Awards; and they needed to rehearse today at the Beacon Theatre. Of course he was happy that they'd get to perform at the Tony's, but a part of him was upset that he wouldn't be able to accompany the kids to the zoo. They'd been looking forward to it for a week and they'd be disappointed if it wasn't pushed through. It was bad enough that Orlando wouldn't be there with them. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath before climbing upstairs to his twins' shared bedroom. The kids, who were lying on their bed, looked up the moment he opened the door, and he couldn't help but to give them a sympathetic look.
"I have work today, babies." Kurt said awkwardly as he leaned his shoulder on the door frame, softly embracing himself.
Coco gave him a forced smile and went back to playing on her iPad, while Alfie gaped at him with clear disappointment written on his face. The boy shrugged at him and snapped his book closed to get his father's attention.
"What a surprise!" Alfie said sarcastically. He puffed and rolled his eyes then went back to reading his book.
Kurt swallowed thickly; his son's words obviously pained him. He gave them an apologetic smile and left. He felt his tears streaming slowly down his face as he ran back to his room. He took out his Alexander McQueen polo and threw it on the bed. Kurt took a deep breath before removing his shirt and his skinny jeans. When he reached for his McQueen polo, he started to break down. He felt ashamed for not having enough time for his kids. Usually, Orlando would give him words of comfort whenever he felt like this, but given the circumstances, Kurt cried for himself and for his mistakes. He huffed and took another deep breath. He needed to be strong for himself and for the kids. So Kurt tried to compose himself, forced a smile, as he took his keys and went to work.
It was almost eight o'clock and Kurt was already late for his dinner date with Rachel, Finn and Quinn. After rushing with the heavy traffic of New York City, Kurt immediately walked over to the hostess and asked for his friends' table. Immediately recognizing her customer, she led him with a smile to his table. When he caught sight of his three friends, they stood up and gave him warm hugs and kisses. Rachel looked pretty in her simple Versace black dress, while Finn looked uncomfortable in his suit. Kurt thought it looked fitting if only his step-brother would be a little more confident in it. On the other hand, Quinn's outfit was a scene stealer. She wore a plain, blue, vintage dress that complimented her blue eyes. She had left her long blond hair down and the simplicity boosted her beauty. Kurt tenderly smiled at them and sat beside Quinn who gave him another big hug before looking back at the menu.
"I deeply apologize for being late. The director was more demanding today than before." Kurt said, resting his forearms on the table, as he beamed at them.
"Is Roberto giving you a hard time?" Rachel asked in a warning tone.
Kurt rolled his eyes and gave her an exasperated look. "No, Rachel. It's his job to be demanding especially if we're performing for the Tony's."
Rachel and Quinn's face brightened as they both said their congratulations. Finn looked at them bewilderedly but congratulated Kurt nonetheless. After giving their orders to the waiter, Kurt turned his gaze to the blond girl beside him who responded with a sweet smile.
"How are you, Quinn? How's L.A.? I haven't seen you in a while." He smiled widely, as he reached for his wine and took a sip.
"Five years," Quinn reminded him, pointing her right hand to the ceiling and pretending to think. "L.A.'s still sunny and busy. I've been busy organizing concerts and studio performances for well-known musicians. That's about it, I think. Enough about me, How are you guys?"
Rachel happily clapped her hands as she enthusiastically glanced at them, letting Kurt know that it was her turn to answer the question. Kurt tried not to roll his eyes but decided to let her do what she wanted.
"Actually, Kurt here is still married to his lovely husband Orlando. And is still the main star of the very popular, and controversial, Broadway show called The Secret Diaries of a Diva which was written by his very talented husband." Rachel announced, gesturing to Kurt proudly.
"Where is he?" Quinn asked, tilting her head a bit, as she looked at Rachel and Kurt curiously.
"He's meeting one of the producers in Russia," Kurt answered with a sigh. "I have no idea what their up to."
Rachel gave Kurt a concerned look and smiled. Wanting to continue the interrupted conversation, she took a sip from her wine and coughed a bit to get their attention. "As for me, I'm busy with my up and coming movie Les Miserable and Finn here is doing well with his tire shop."
"That's amazing Rachel." Quinn gushed before turning her attention to Finn. "And you took over Burt's old shop. That's really cool."
"Being married to a movie star is cooler." Finn noted, smiling back at Quinn, before surprising Rachel with a sudden kiss to her cheeks.
She blushed a bit and smiled widely. "Having kids with a tire shop owner is way awesome too."
Quinn chuckled at them while Kurt rolled his eyes. The dinner turned out to be a mini-reunion as they shared their favorite high school and glee club memories with each other. From their first audition, and cheating scandals, to Jesse St. James and Sue Sylvester, and even Quinn's old group "The Skanks" – the four laughed, did some quick impersonations and narrated all their funny experiences and life lessons. Kurt felt himself worry-free as he gazed at his friends, truly enjoying their company. When their conversation turned to the living arrangement of the Hudson family, since Rachel had to leave for L.A. for her movie, Kurt couldn't help mentioning the house that Orlando and he had been eyeing.
"The Anderson Mansion?" Rachel asked, her eyebrows raised and her eyes judging, "What are you thinking?"
Before Kurt could say anything, Finn stared at him, his expression full of disappointment and concern. "I think it's a bad idea, Kurt."
Kurt took a deep breath and leaned forward on the table. He focused his eyes on Finn and looked at him tiredly, "We have already decided Finn. I'm just letting you know."
Rachel narrowed her eyes at Kurt, clearly judging him, before lifting her glass of wine to her lips. "Listen to your brother Kurt, it's for the best."
Kurt held his hands up asking them to stop. He sneered at them before taking another deep breath; trying to down play his frustrations. "Okay, I'm not here for your consent."
"I met Blaine in L.A. last year."
Finn, Rachel and Kurt looked at Quinn as if she hit a dangerous spot. She just shrugged as she continued to cut her salmon into pieces.
"Oh, is the bastard doing well?" Finn finally asked, after a moment of silence.
Kurt spent ten years avoiding any conversation that involved Blaine and now here he was, with his beloved friends, listening to the welfare of his ex-boyfriend. He wanted to get away and curse at them but secretly, he was more ashamed to admit that he wanted to know what Blaine had been up to. The last time he saw Blaine was on his wedding day and he had seen the obvious distress and tiredness from his ex-boyfriend. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything and waited for Quinn to answer Finn. He could feel the eyes of his brother and his sister-in-law so he pretended everything was normal.
"He is, actually. His record label is busy with his U.S. debut." Quinn responded, leaning back in her chair and flashing a comforting smile at Kurt.
"I don't really care, Quinn." Kurt finally said, feeling discomfort from the sympathetic gaze coming from Rachel. He reached for his wine and drank it fully before gazing back at his blond friend. "Can we change the topic now, please?"
Quinn scrunched her face and sighed, "You still hate him?"
Kurt threw her a gaze as he tried to be as apathetic as he could be. He straitened his back and he faced Quinn with a haughty smile. "No. It started as embarrassment, turned into hate, then into disgust, but now… I just don't care at all."
"He looked sad and tired, and if you listen to his songs; you can tell that he wrote them for someone he really does care about." Quinn added; her eyes stared somberly at Kurt. Her tone was soft but her words had cut Kurt like a knife. She suppressed a sigh when she realized that she had touched a sensitive topic. "I just thought that you should know. He's not the same Blaine anymore, Kurt. He's changed and it really frightened me when I saw him."
"Well good for him." Rachel simply said, wanting to finish the conversation, as she raised her glass of wine. "To changes, for without them, we would not be able to live a peaceful and happy life."
Kurt silently watched his friends raise their glasses. He hesitated a moment but he didn't want them to see that he'd been deeply affected by Quinn's revelation. But he agrees to what Rachel had stated, for without his determination to change, he might not have met Orlando and he wouldn't be this happy and free. He had experienced some of the most painful and embarrassing things in his life and Blaine played a big part of it. It did hurt him and he had constantly hurt himself for it. Now he couldn't help thinking that Blaine's part in his life made him strong enough to face the world. And because of that he can overcome any obstacle no matter how painful and shameful it may be. Maybe there was a reason behind everything that had happened to him; maybe he just needed to go with the flow.
"Cheers."