Chapter Nineteen:The Walking Dead
TPD: The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

"I just feel like they have to come around somehow," Blaine told Jeremiah. He took a sip of coffee and winced as he realized it had gotten cold. How long had he and Jeremiah been hanging out? He didn't even have the heart to be happy that he and Jeremiah had been on what any outsider could have labeled a date for- he glanced at a clock- two hours. "And it's like... the worse they are to me, the more I think I can just... convince them somehow."

"Maybe they will come around, "Jeremiah told him. That's the other thing- Blaine hadn't told Jeremiah how bad it was. Jeremiah thought he lived with his parents and they just weren't supportive. He hadn't told him he'd been kicked out of the house over a year ago. "Then again, maybe they won't. The thing is, Blaine, you've got people who love you." Blaine's heart jumped at that. Maybe Jeremiah loved him? Could possibly love him as more than a friend? "You will always have people who love you, and they're the ones that matter. In two years, you'll graduate and it won't matter what your parents think or say or do. I know it sucks, and I know that 'it gets better' is the worst thing any kid can hear because it's the equivalent of 'just be patient,' but it's true. It's going to get better. Can't get worse, right?"

Blaine smiled a little, even if he thought it could- and very well might- get worse. His face fell. "It just sucks," he shrugged. "I... honestly feel like they don't love me. Like, I went to a football game with Kurt at his old high school, and his dad and stepmom were there and they were so... great. They love him. Unconditionally. And I had a great time at the game, but I got home and just..." Felt so lonely, his brain supplied but his mouth refused to admit.

"Hey," Jeremiah said and grabbed Blaine's hand to get him to look up. Blaine wondered how red his cheeks were turning as the older boy continued to hold his hand. "If you ever need to get away, just call me, alright? If you're feeling awful or you just need someone to pull you out of your head... My phone is always on. Day or night or so-early-in-the-morning-Satan-himself-is-asleep. You're not alone."

Blaine responded with a watery smile and looked down. He pulled his hand free under the pretense of needing it to drink his coffee. "Cold," he remarked and glanced at the clock again. "You, sir, are going to be late for work, and if I don't get my math homework done..."

Jeremiah nodded. "Don't be late to the next movie, okay?"

"Not my fault," Blaine insisted with a smile. "But I won't be."

Jeremiah grinned back as they parted ways and Blaine made his way to the bus stop to get back to school. Except Blaine had been scouring the streets, looking for the right signs and he thought he'd seen one.

"How much?" he asked the guy on the corner.

The guy laughed a little. "You're a little too bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to be asking that question. "Who sent you?"

"No one sent me," Blaine replied smoothly, decided he'd made the right assumption. "And I'm not your typical customer. I want to know if you can get something a little different than what you're used to."

"You don't know what I'm used to, kid. And I don't take new customers without references."

"I need someone who can get me testosterone," Blaine stated simply without acknowledging the dismissal. This guy was a dealer and, if he could get it, he'd want Blaine's money. "My last guy disappeared and I've been looking for a new guy. I have money. Can you get what I need?"

The new guy pushed his coat aside to slip a hand in his jeans pocket, and it was just enough for Blaine to get a glimpse of a gun tucked into the waistband. He tried not to let the sudden fear building in his chest show on his face. "How much do you want?"

"Four hundred milligrams, once a month. How much will it cost?"

Finally, the guy smiled. "The name's Ky," he said and reached out a hand which Blaine shook. "Now, I've got to do a bit of research- see how much this stuff costs, how hard it is for me to get... Then I can give you an estimate. But right now- You can't just call a plumber and tell him your sink's not working, how much will it cost? He's got to have a look at the thing. So...?"

"Blaine."

"Blaine. Give me a week and I'll give you a price."

"Good," Blaine replied. "See you in a week, Ky."

Ky grinned at him, and Blaine remembered the feeling of being a commodity rush back to him in all its sleaziness. But he'd been thinking about it the past few weeks and his emotions had been everywhere. He didn't feel level like he did when he was on hormones. It wasn't just the extra stress. It was everything, and if he blew a few hundred dollars each month to make himself feel better, then it was fine. It wasn't like he was doing real drugs. It wasn't any different than when he'd had to bind his chest.

Anything to keep him from melting down.