Chapter Eighteen: The Blue Fairy
TPD: A Very Glee Christmas

"Corinne, I got you a part in the Christmas recital for the local church," his mother said. Blaine's grip on the phone tightened as he listened to the voicemail. "I gave the coordinator your phone number, I hope that's okay. Only, I know how much you like performing and I guess your father and I have missed a lot. So. We look forward to seeing you perform on Friday!"

Blaine rolled his eyes. That night, he received the dreaded phone call from whoever was coordinating the church recital. "Can I talk to Corinne?" The voice was unmistakably female and horribly businesslike.

"Look, I'm sorry, but my mom has lost her mind," Blaine replied without hesitation. "I don't even know how to respond to that question because you can't talk to Corinne as she doesn't exist, but I'm definitely who you called to talk to."

"Sorry?"

"Sorry," Blaine apologized, feeling simultaneously awkward and excruciatingly dysphoric. "My name is Blaine. My mom gave you my number."

"I-"

"What she neglected to mention is that my name hasn't been Corinne for quite a while. I'm transgender."

"Oh."

"So, I'm sorry you wasted your time and that she felt the need to bring you into whatever family drama-"

"Blaine, is it?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find guys willing to be in a Christmas pageant?"

Blaine frowned. "What?"

"If you're willing, I need a male for 'Baby, It's Cold Outside.'"

He spluttered incoherently for a moment. "What?"

"Sweetheart," she sighed. "I don't care who you were yesterday or five years ago or who your mother wants you to be. I have been tearing my hair out for the past month trying to put this thing together, and I honestly have no idea what is going on in your family- and I don't want to, since it's not my business- but you sound like you could actually hit the notes in this song. Whatever my personal beliefs are."

Blaine wrinkled his nose at that last. This wasn't going to be the best experience if he said yes. But if a complete stranger wanted to cast him in a male role and his parents were going to see it... Maybe it would help. They had to see him as a son. He couldn't bear to live with them if they didn't.

So he went to the two rehearsals. The first didn't even involve rehearsing. They read through a watery excuse for a script that basically just tied the songs together and the director told them all when to go onstage and from where. So he went looking for Kurt one afternoon and asked him to rehearse the song. Kurt was the only one he knew at Dalton who could hit the notes and he really did want to get to know Kurt better. Which meant more hanging out. So that's what Blaine would do. Besides, no one should study all the time. Which is exactly what Kurt was doing when Blaine found him.

As intent as Blaine had been on distracting Kurt from studying to hang out all afternoon, Blaine forced himself to leave. It was supposed to have just been acting, but it had gotten a little too real. At some point, Blaine was certain he wanted to kiss the other boy and that... was not acceptable. Kurt was gay. Not bisexual. Gay. If Blaine got involved with Kurt, the same thing that happened with Justin would happen again. So Blaine would do the smart thing and nip this in the bud. He was not going to fall for Kurt and get his heart broken again. They'd be awesome friends. In the meantime, Blaine could focus on what was going to happen next year. This Christmas show was the first way to do it.

Finally, the second rehearsal came around and they got to actually run the show. By the time they had an audience, Blaine was so nervous he felt like he might throw up.

His parents were out there.

His parents were out there and expected to see him being a girl.

Well, they weren't going to get their way. Not this time. Not that way. Not ever again.

He and Amanda sang their duet and she was alright, but not quite as good as Kurt. Then again, Kurt was so talented he'd probably be on Broadway before he graduated college. If he even bothered with college. Kurt could probably just go straight to New York and land a dream job with the kind of talent he possessed.

When he saw his parents after, his father wouldn't even look at him. His mother's lips seemed to be pressed into a thin line by some invisible force. "Did you like the show?" he mumbled when they reached the car. He wished he'd taken the bus. He didn't want to spend the next however long in the car with them.

"You were singing a boy's part," was all his mother managed to say.

"Yes," Blaine agreed.

"You were supposed to sing a girl's part."

"Why?" Blaine asked in a small voice.

"Because you're a girl, Corinne!" his father said angrily. "Whatever you've put into your body to- to transform and mutilate it the way you have- You are a girl. Corinne, you are a girl."

Blaine bit his lip. He couldn't speak. He couldn't because if he opened his mouth or breathed at all, he was going to start crying.

"The only reason we're letting you finish at that boys' school- which, by the way, I don't want to know how you and Cooper hoodwinked them into letting you in- is because it's been paid for and we don't want to disrupt your schooling any more than necessary."

"Then let me go back next year," he barely managed to strangle out.

"No, Corinne. No. We let you go, and that was a mistake. You've done everything you can to ruin your life, and we're going to do what we can to fix it."

"If you take me out of Dalton," Blaine warned, "if you expect me to go back to pretending to be a girl-"

"You are a girl, Corinne!"

"I'm not!" Blaine shouted. "If I could have chosen anything besides parents kicking me out of the house, hating me-"

"We don't hate you, Corinne," his mother interrupted.

"Yes, you do!" He was crying now and hated himself for it.

"We love you, sweetheart. That's why we're here."

"You love who you want me to be," Blaine replied miserably. "You love someone that doesn't exist and I can't be her, mom. And if you make me try, I'll kill myself."

The words hung in the air a moment.

"Don't be ridiculous," his mom said.

"I'm not being ridiculous," Blaine insisted. "That is not who I am. I cannot be anyone other than who I am, and you're my parents. It's... supposed to be your job to love me no matter what."

"We do, sweetheart. That's why we're trying to help you."

"If you want to help me, you can start by calling me Blaine."

"Absolutely not."

"My name is Blaine. Blaine Devon Anderson, and calling me anything else is disrespectful and it makes me want to jump out of this moving vehicle. You have no idea how awful I felt all the time before. I've always felt wrong- like I was born wrong. If you really want to help me, stop trying to change me. Please, just..." He shook his head, overcome. Just love me, he thought desperately. Finally, he managed to finish his sentence. "Just let me out. Pull over. Let me out. I can catch the bus a few blocks that way."

"You're not taking the bus."

"I've taken the bus for over a year!" Blaine yelled. "Now pull the damn car over and let me out or I swear to god I'll get out without you stopping!"

"Fine," his dad said in a low deadly voice. He'd been quiet, but clearly he was ready to chime in again. "You want to ruin your life, go ahead. But we're not helping. We're not sending you to some boys' school, and we are not indulging you while you run around, pretending to be a boy, probably engaging in some lesbian relationship while you're at it."

Blaine opened the door and climbed out. "That won't be a problem," he shot back angrily and slammed the door. He heard his mother calling "Wait!" after him, but he started walking and his dad turned the car around and drove off in the opposite direction.

Fine.