“Kurt, honey, can you come down here please?”
Carole’s voice traveled up the stairs and into Kurt’s room where he was cleaning things up, trying to give himself something to do as he waited for Blaine to get home from Warbler practice. Three days of going basically nowhere was driving him insane, and Kurt needed to do something with the layout of his room before that happened. Looking up, he brushed sweat off his brow and sighed as he took off his cleaning gloves.
He touched his bruise for a moment as he straightened up, taking in a deep breath before calling out as he began walking down the stairs, “Coming.”
His black converse all-stars hit the carpet on the way down with a soft thump and Kurt let his mind wander over everything that he wanted to do. He had a lot of time to kill until he was allowed to go back to school on Monday of next week. Somehow spitting in someone’s face in self-defense had merited him a week of suspension, but if it gave Kurt a few days to sort things out he wasn’t really complaining.
Seeing his father and Carole gathered around a laptop made him frown though, and he raised an eyebrow as he rounded the corner and entered the kitchen from the living room. They looked up at him, his father straightening himself before he pulled out a chair and cocked his head towards it. “Sit down, Kurt.”
He didn’t want another meeting or another talk. Ever since he had sat down with Couch Beiste and his father Friday night, Kurt had done nothing but talk. He had told them everything that had happened, explaining the locker throwing and the cornering in the bathroom or the things they would tell him. But it hadn’t stopped then, no matter how much he pleaded his father to calm down because of his heart. They had taken it to Principle Figgins, and he had had to explain it all again. And then they had taken it to the School Board, where Kurt had had to explain himself to a panel of parents who looked at him with judging eyes. He had sat there, his father raging next to him, as his bullies told their version of the story, perverting the truth and twisting it to sound like Kurt had been provoking them the whole time.
A week suspension for everyone involves was all they had come up with. Because even though Coach Beiste had been able to save him the last time, she hadn’t come soon enough and seen them hurt Kurt. There was no evidence against what the boys were claiming, and Kurt had sat there for nearly two hours knowing he had no chance.
“What is it?” Kurt asked as he walked over, sitting down and looking up at his parents. His tone was guarded, and he crossed his arms over his chest before straightening himself up and sighing as he waited.
Burt looked at Carole, who simply nodded. They had a little exchange between each other with just a simple look, and Kurt wondered if he would ever be able to understand someone the way his father and Carole seemed to understand each other. It warmed his heart to see his father so happy, but right now he needed to remind himself that this wasn’t a happy time. He waited for them to speak, and looked at Carole as she opened her mouth.
Turning the laptop towards Kurt, she smiled as she said, “When a kid at the hospital misses a lot of school because they’re sick or recovering from a surgery, we put them in a special program. It’s like going to school, but from your laptop. You have teachers and they live stream their lessons. There’s even a website for the students to communicate just in case they want to make study sessions. It’s very interactive.”
As she spoke, Carole went to the website. Kurt watched the screen, seeing pictures of what she was talking about; with children smiling on the computers with headphones plugged in as they listened to what he could only assume was a lesson. He frowned though, despite the happy images, unable to understand why she was telling him this.
“It’s not just for sick kids too,” she added, now catching Kurt’s eye. “There are kids who want a different kind of education, there are child actors who need to be on set, there’s young pro athletes. It’s for everyone.”
But Kurt looked at her and then at his father, before his eyes wandered down to the screen again. Picture after picture lined with quotes, all praising the program, showed up and blurred in an endless loop. He nodded, before smiling up at them, “That’s really great! Now, what did you guys want?”
A pained look passed over his father’s look, and he watched as Carole extended her hand to rub his arm. With a sigh, Burt shook his head and sat down next to Kurt instead of hovering over his wife and him. Their eyes met, and in a calm voice he said, “We enrolled you in the program.”
It was everything Kurt had feared as he had listened, but hadn’t wanted to admit. It was everything that he had thought would happen, but up until now hadn’t actually thought was an option. He had hoped it wasn’t an option. Kurt’s face went blank, and he said nothing as he tried to take it in.
“There are other options,” he finally whispered, shaking his head. Looking up at his father, he frowned, “We talked about this. I want to go back to McKinley. If I run away now, they’re just going to find someone else to pick on and it’s going to continue. I can’t not go to school, Dad.”
It was Carole who spoke first though, her hand squeezing Kurt’s as she said, “Honey, it isn’t safe for you there. Your father and I have talked it over, and there’s only a few months left in the school year anyway. This is the easiest option for us, and also the cheapest. We can’t afford to send you to that school in Westerville…”
“But I can’t run away!” Kurt said, raising his voice slightly as he stood up, shaking his head. He was trying not to cry or scream, because he knew that both of them were just trying to help. He knew that in the end of things, they were doing this out of love, and Kurt couldn’t be angry at either his father or Carole for caring. But they didn’t understand the pain that had been in Blaine’s voice as he explained to Kurt how he had left his bullies. They didn’t get the way Kurt didn’t want to hear that same pain in his voice. Staying in McKinley was his only option to get even for both himself and Blaine. He didn’t want running away to turn into an option.
“Kurt,” his father said, in his stern low voice, prompting him to look up. His eyes were kind, as always, and Kurt could only sigh. “You’re not running away. Those guys want to hurt you, and a room full of old, homophobic adults doesn’t understand that they mean the things they say. Saving yourself isn’t running when there’s no other option. I’m not letting you get hurt; I can’t lose anyone else.”
And suddenly, Kurt felt stupid and childish. He started crying, but instead moved towards his father and hugged him, glad to feel his father’s strong arms around him. Kurt knew that it was running away, but he understood that there wasn’t another option left. Thinking about McKinley made his body tremble, made his heart freeze, and he knew that inside of him the school that he had once felt happy in wasn’t the same anymore. Because on Monday, when he could return, his bullies would too. And his blood ran cold simply with that thought.
McKinley wasn’t a school anymore, it was a dungeon. And even if all his friends went there, Kurt realized that there was practically nothing that was going to ease him as he walked through those halls. Not even repeating Blaine’s whisper of ‘courage’ like he had that Friday.
He cried because he didn’t want to put his father through any more pain. Kurt had almost lost him once this year alone, he couldn’t imagine what going back would do to his nerves. He cried because The New Directions were going to New York, the city of dreams, and he was going to have to stay in Lima.
But his father’s arms held him tighter as he whispered into his ear, filling Kurt with hope, “It’s only for a few months.”
He knew there was another option than this, and if it took those few months to find it, Kurt could stand tall and face them.

---

He’d checked out of the lesson a few minutes ago, as he noticed the teacher was already rambling. It was just like back home, only now he couldn’t turn to the person next to him and entertain them with silly cartoons he would draw in two seconds. But his mind was wandering, and Kurt looked down at his notes and realized that three pages worth of notes was enough and certainly more than he ever took in McKinley, so there was no reason he should be so bent on paying attention to everything he was saying. American history was stupid and repetitive either way.
Biting down on the end of his pen, Kurt looked out the window and sighed. He couldn’t close out of the lesson though; they kept track of how long your IP was logged into the stream. He was trapped there for another twenty minutes, until the hour finally ended and Kurt was allowed to be free. It had been a full week of this, and the only perks of it that Kurt had found was the fact that he didn’t have to wake up as early as he once had, since his first class was an independent English study which he only had to sign in for occasional discussions with a group once every month. But aside from that, his days consisted of waiting around an empty house until he had to sign into one of the three live streams he had: Math, Physics, and American history. Of course, he had opted to take French as an independent study as well. The course had its perks, and Kurt could see as to why kids used it, but Kurt hadn’t left his house all week, and a wardrobe like his was meant to be seen by more than simply his family and Blaine.
For a moment, he could have sworn he was stuck. But as his eyes stayed on the window and the sun, a smile spread wide on his lips. Sitting upright, Kurt called his attention towards his screen again as he found the icon he was looking for at the bottom of the screen. The idea hadn’t occurred to him until now, one week into the program, and Kurt almost wanted to slap himself for not realizing it sooner. With a simple click, he tapped the icon and let him sign him onto Skype, his afternoon instantly perking up as soon as he saw the name he had been hoping he’d see, not knowing that on the other side of the world, someone else’s heart had literally leaping that Kurt’s name had appeared.
His fingers were quick, and somehow Kurt was reminded of a time long before now as he wrote. Of a time before he had had to drop out of high school due to bullying. Effortlessly, he hit enter.
Kurt Hummel: This man doesn’t shut up, I swear.
Kurt Hummel: I’m still technically in “class”, but I figured since I don’t think he’s saying anything important, I’d sign in here.
Blaine Anderson: Kurt!
Blaine Anderson: You’re skipping? Kurt…
Kurt Hummel: I’m not skipping though!
Kurt Hummel: He’s boring me to tears and I needed to talk to someone because Mercedes is in gym and Rachel has this thing against using her phone in class to text me.
Blaine Anderson: So, I’m your last resort? ;)
Kurt Hummel: Naturally Blaine, really.
He smiled as they spoke, happy now despite his earlier melancholy. Only it wasn’t just Blaine making him happy; it was the fact that he was talking to someone who wasn’t himself. The house was empty, aside from his father occasionally coming in when he forgot something. And besides, who was there to go out with if the rest of his friends were in school literally all day.
Blaine Anderson: So, is this going to become a common occurrence?
Kurt Hummel:Wait, what?
Blaine Anderson: You, being on Skype, while I’m here.
Blaine Anderson: I mean, does your new schedule allow you to, I don’t know, web cam with me between classes.
Blaine Anderson: When I’m here, of course.
Kurt blinked for a moment, before he frowned at himself. Was it going to be? In all actuality, it worked perfectly, and somehow Kurt wondered why neither one of them had thought of it when they spoke after Kurt had finished classes every day this week. He didn’t know that Blaine had contemplated asking him what he was doing in the downtime he had between classes, but the thought had never occurred to Kurt . Maybe it was the newness of it, of the fact that Kurt was used to being around when it was actually somewhat early for Blaine. The thought hadn’t crossed his mind.
Frowning as he heard a noise, Kurt glanced at the screen again and tried stopping the laugh that escaped his throat.
Blaine Anderson: Not that I don’t like this. Because that sounded weird.
Blaine Anderson: I was just wondering.
With a smile, he replied.
Kurt Hummel: I think it could be.
It was strange, to think that he was going to be around when Blaine was. Kurt took a breath, and realized finally just how much his life had changed within the past couple weeks. He wasn’t in Glee club anymore, and wasn’t going to help them get to Regionals at all. He was going to have to sit there in the audience, watching as his friends lived out there dreams.
The man in his ear stopped speaking, and Kurt sighed and closed the window. He needed to talk to someone, and quick. His head felt heavy, and his heart was like a weight in his chest. How was it that something that was supposed to be helping him was making Kurt feel worse than he had ever felt? At least in McKinley, he had had something to look forward to. His days were going to be stretched out now, day after day of being inside. Kurt couldn’t deal with that.
Without even looking at Blaine’s reply, Kurt clicked on the button to start a video call. He needed someone to talk to and who better than Blaine, who had already proven to be good at getting him to calm down. Running his fingers through his hair, which he had bothered to do despite the fact that he was staying in, Kurt didn’t look at his screen as he waited for Blaine to answer the call.
But his eyes went wide as he looked up and saw Blaine.
Kurt wasn’t looking at Blaine’s face. He was looking at what was staring straight back at him, which happened to be Blaine’s bare chest as he pulled a white t-shirt over his head. And just as soon as the what seemed to be tan and beautiful skin with slight inklings of chest hair appeared, it was gone as Blaine sat down. Instantly, a blush rushed to his cheeks, and Kurt didn’t even realize he was staring at where Blaine’s very naked chest had just been.
“Hey!” Blaine said, in his happy cheerful tone, snapping Kurt out of his thoughts, which he had to admit weren’t exactly pure. But the tone in Blaine’s voice irritated Kurt, because he knew Blaine had no idea what he had just done. To Blaine, his little actions did nothing, and it annoyed Kurt to the extreme that he had no idea what he did to him.
“Hey,” Kurt breathed out, now able to snap out of his trance, but storing the very welcomed sight in the back of his mind for later use. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied by his predicament, the blush on Kurt’s face would have stayed a little longer, but right now he was just glad it faded so quickly. He leaned back against his chair and licked his lips for a moment before he said, “Sorry, I just sort of realized I didn’t warn you that I was calling.”
Blaine shook his head, and the curls that had fallen out of his gel bounced happily. “It was fine; I was going to ask you if I could call anyway.”
That made Kurt’s heart speed up just a bit, and for a moment he wondered if he could just stay here and let Blaine make him happy. It was what he always did, and Kurt simply wanted to take advantage of that right now. But he knew that he was done relying on Blaine so much, at least when it came to some things.
With a small smile, Kurt rested his chin on the palm of his hand and asked, “How was Warbler practice?”
He watched Blaine’s lips pull into a smile before he simply shrugged. It made Kurt slightly angry to see Blaine undermine all his work to a simple shrug, especially now that he couldn’t be part of New Directions. He was bitter, in a sense, but at the same time it was because he wanted to be able to see Blaine actually perform so badly. He wanted to see him period, though. Kurt got so lost in his own thoughts he failed so realize just how little eye contact Blaine was making with him.
“It went well. We did that new Maroon 5 song, and I thought it was pretty awesome. You should have seen some of the dance moves, the guys killed it!” Blaine answered, giggling slightly as he looked down at what Kurt could only appear to be his desk.
Kurt took a moment to reply, before he simply sighed and smiled at Blaine, but he knew he could tell it was forced. He didn’t catch the look of worry that passed over Blaine’s face as he suddenly moved forward once he saw the distress in Kurt’s expression.
“That’s lovely,” Kurt said, nodding. Taking in a deep breath he added, “I’m sorry. I’m just…aggravated with everything right now. I haven’t left the house in a whole week, and it feels like I’m literally trapped. Hearing about glee club practice makes me nostalgic, I guess. I miss talking to people and dressing up for them and not just myself. ”
He kept his eyes on his notes, not really looking at them but not wanting to look at Blaine. He missed the sigh Blaine took at the same time he did. Lost in his own little world, Kurt wasn’t even aware at the way Blaine was watching him now as he sat there slightly hunched over.
“Kurt,” Blaine’s voice came out in a small whisper into his ear. “I know it’s hard, but at least we get to talk more now, right? With the whole new schedule, it means you’re home once I get home. That’s pretty cool.”
Scoffing, Kurt literally rolled his eyes, not catching the way Blaine furrowed his brow at the action, as if it had hurt him. He just shook his head and looked at the screen, unable to read the expression on Blaine’s face as he said, “Yeah, but I always talk to you anyway, Blaine. I’d miss you too much if I didn’t. My point is that I’m stuck here. I’m supposed to be feeling better now that I’m out of school and safe, and instead I feel lonelier than ever.”
Kurt had no idea how his words hurt Blaine, instead simply playing with the pen that had been lying on top of his notebook. He doodled for a moment, taking in the silence that had never been awkward until now, but it still wasn’t for him. He didn’t know that Blaine was taking his words to heart; he was too busy trying to figure out what to do with his life now.
“I have an idea.”
His head shot up, his eyebrows high in his forehead as he looked up at Blaine, who despite everything was now smiling. Kurt felt himself wanting to smile as he saw him, wondering how someone’s feelings could be so infectious, or if it was just the way he felt about him. But as Blaine didn’t continue, Kurt literally laughed and smiled as he said, “Well, go on!”
Blaine laughed along, and they both leaned towards their screen, towards each other as Kurt got ready to hear what Blaine had to say. It still felt effortless, the way he could be with Blaine, and it shocked Kurt that even after everything they had both been through with their school life and even what they had gone through in their friendship, that they could be so perfectly at ease with each other. But it had always been like that. It was what made Kurt feel like he would be safe around Blaine. It was what had gotten him to open up to a random stranger on the internet in the first place.
Kurt watched as Blaine licked his lips, but tried to keep his mind focused on one thing. He tried to listen.
“Well,” Blaine said, looking down now slightly as soon as he noticed they had been staring at each other. Kurt didn’t notice anything had changed, leaning in more still. “Do you have a community theater in Lima, by any chance?”
Blinking, Kurt nodded and said, “Yeah, it’s in west Lima. Why?”
He wasn’t following, but by the way Blaine’s smile only widened, Kurt knew he was onto something. Frowning slightly, he waited as Blaine continued, beaming now. But he noticed Blaine was waiting for him to get it, that puppy dog look on his face as he simply looked at Kurt.
Kurt shook his head and laughed, his eyes catching Blaine’s again as he added, “I really have no idea where you’re going with this.”
He loved the way Blaine simply giggled, wondering why he had never really heard him laugh like that before. He watched as his friend smiled and looked down slightly, before looking up at him again as he began explaining. “Well, I know you like theater, and you obviously like performing. But you don’t have to be in school to do both, so I thought…”
“Oh!” Kurt said, once it finally snapped in his head. Laughing, he clapped his hands together and practically jumped in his seat as he understood where Blaine was going with this. “You’re suggesting I try out for things at the community theater now that I have the spare time!”
Blaine laughed along, and Kurt kept smiling like an idiot. “Yes,” Blaine said, chuckling. “That’s exactly what I was suggesting. We can be around each other when you have time in between classes, and then when you’re done you can go to rehearsals. You’ll have more time to practice your lines, and I can even help you. You don’t have to be stuck in here…”
Looking at Blaine, Kurt felt his heart swell before he interrupted him. “You’re right,” Kurt said, smiling as he sighed, lacing his hands into each other and pressing them against his fist in happiness. Because he was right. Sometimes Kurt wondered what he would do without people like Blaine or his father, who made his world make sense. He hated how selfish he had sounded before, how ridiculously ungrateful he had been towards what his father had done to keep him safe.
But Kurt had already tuned him out as his head raced ahead, moving at a thousand miles an hour. He saw himself on stage, getting a standing ovation for a play. He saw his father in the audience, cheering for him just like he had when Kurt had been part of the football team. New Directions was there, and Rachel looked like she was crying. His heart was pounding as he imagined the crowd, but suddenly the only person he could see in the crowd was Blaine, standing there and clapping, with flowers in his hand all for him. Maybe he didn’t want to lean on Blaine the way he once had, but he wanted Blaine just the same.
Their eyes met again, and this time they both blushed. It was like they had both been thinking the same thing and had caught each other, but Kurt didn’t want to assume anything. He was done getting ahead of himself when it came to relationships. For now, Kurt Hummel was going to just sit back and bask in whatever this was. Kurt didn’t understand what was going on, but his heart felt lighter than it had in days.
He smiled though, and caught Blaine’s eye again. Their soft honey color (yes, Kurt had finally decided that despite the distortion of the colors in Blaine’s room, they were definitely honey colored) met his own blue ones, and he wondered why he looked anywhere else. Sometimes, it didn’t matter how complicated things were as long as they were talking.
Neither one of them looked away, and in a hushed whisper, even if he was all alone in his house, Kurt said, “If you were here, I’d hug you.”
It was the first time Kurt had ever admitted anything like that, and he could feel his cheeks grow hot as he waited for a response. But Blaine had looked down for a moment, before he glanced up again and met Kurt eyes, Kurt swearing there was a slight blush on his face as well, but ended up blaming it on the cameras lighting.Blaine’s smile was soft, but beautiful as he replied just as quietly, breaking their gaze, “I’d like that a lot.”

---

He’d been here before, but somehow walking along the empty theater changed things. Without the small crowd that had gathered for a performance of ‘Guys and Dolls’ a few years that his father had taken him to, the theater seemed too quiet and calm. He’d known not to expect something big, but it was enough for Kurt to feel overwhelmed. Not to mention he was nervous, standing there all alone, wishing his friends weren’t at school so that he could text them for moral support. He felt both out of place and at home, but wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to do now that he was here.
Kurt hadn’t thought that far. He had picked out the perfect outfit, left his father something healthy to eat in the fridge with a note over the postcard of Rome they kept in the kitchen telling him how much to heat it up to because he knew Carol was working late tonight, and even went to get some coffee after he had said goodbye to Blaine and headed out. He had had the whole day planned out perfectly, but the moment his hands touched the cold metal to open the door, Kurt wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.
His boots hit the carpet floor as he stood looking at a wall filled with pictures of past performances, categorized by year and play. Kurt’s heart was filled with joy as he saw the emotion on their faces, wondering if one day he too would join them and become an actor. Since he was young, he had wanted to act, whether it be in film or on stage. For a while, Kurt had considered going into fashion, and even to this day it seemed like a perfectly viable back up plan for if the acting thing didn’t work out. Because he knew how hard it could be. Some days he knew he could do it, some days the dream he had had since he was a child looked like it was right there in the palm of his hand. But other days it seemed like nothing more than a dream, farther away than Blaine Anderson.
Spotting a little girl, he almost laughed as soon as he realized it was Rachel. She was wearing a long dress, curtsying in front of everyone else in the cast photo. She couldn’t have been over five years old, and Kurt shook his head as soon as he realized that she must have been just part of the ensemble, but had made herself the center of attention. It was so Rachel, and Kurt sighed heavily at how much he missed her. She really had been working in pretty much everything from a young age, hadn’t she? He envied how easy it must have been for her to like the things she liked, even if Kurt had been pretty vocal about his love for theater.
But he stood up straighter, telling himself that right now he needed to be strong. He had come here to do something, and he wasn’t going to leave until it was done. Closing his eyes and collecting himself, Kurt took a step back and was about to continue walking around when he heard a voice.
“Can I help you?”
Turning around, Kurt blinked at the young man with dusty blonde hair who had just walked out of a door at the other side of the medium size reception room. He had a smile on his face and a book in his hand, and Kurt smiled back at him. He couldn’t have been much older than him, but there was something about the way he held himself that told Kurt he wasn’t in high school anymore. His clothes were normal, and Kurt felt a little overdressed in his button down, vest, skinny jeans and boots, but reminded himself that it was always like this when he was around guys near his age.
He stepped forward, before he said, “Well, I was actually wondering about what plays you guys were doing and if it’s too late for me to audition or…”
His face beamed, and there was something about his expression that reminded him of Blaine’s, but Kurt wasn’t trying to compare them. It was natural for him to see Blaine in other people, actually, and Kurt knew it was somewhat because he wanted to see Blaine himself that bad.
“You’re not late at all!” he said, as he stopped walking just a few feet away from Kurt. Clapping his hands together, he smiled and pointed at the empty space on the wall as he went on, “We just finished ‘Into the Woods’. I was Jack, actually. Our next show starts at the end of May and auditions start in a week, I think.”
Kurt smirked at his luck, before crossing his arms over his chest. With a smile, he asked, “And what’s the next play going to be?”
The boy who had yet to introduce himself lifted up the book he had in his hand. The cover showed a donkey sleeping on a bed of beautiful flowers, and instantly Kurt knew what the play was. He bit his lips, unsure now if he wanted to do it. There were certain taunts that were very easy to make to him if he did a play about fairies.
“It was actually my idea,” he explained to Kurt, who had looked up from the cover and back at his face. “My father runs the place, and I figured why not try to be my favorite role ever.”
Kurt chuckled and raised an eyebrow before he smirked, “Puck?”
He winked at Kurt, before smiling again as he said, “So you know the play.”
With a shrug, Kurt simply replied with, “I read it in 9th grade.”
They stood there for a moment, before the boy realized something. Holding up his finger, he walked back through the door he had walked out from. Kurt waited there for a moment, shuffling his boots into the somewhat tacky carpet that he would just have to learn to live with if he was going to start coming here often. The whole place was somewhat tacky, but it was Lima and Kurt Hummel had learned to deal with that.
“Sorry about that,” he said, prompting Kurt to look up again. He had several pamphlets in his hand, and Kurt watched him as he walked over to where he stood again. With a large smile, he held them out to Kurt and started explaining, “This is the information on the theater and well, what we do here. Sometimes our rehearsals are during school, but I’m sure we can work with you…”
“No need,” Kurt said, shaking his head. “I, well, don’t go to a normal school, so I can practically come in at any time.”
The smile on his face got larger, and Kurt wondered if his muscles ever tired of looking so happy. “Awesome! Well, this is the sheet with the information for the auditions for ‘A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream’ and then once you get a part; we’ll give out information about rehearsal times and show times. We need to work around people’s work schedules and stuff, so that usually takes a little bit to get out. Then that last pamphlet is just about our ‘Summer Showcase’. We get kind of bored and we want to put a little something together for the people of Lima during the summer without having to do an all-out play, so we just do some select scenes and songs. It’s a big hit.”
Kurt laughed, before looking through the last pamphlet and smiling. He doubted it was that big of a hit if he had never heard about it, but nevertheless it sounded like fun. How had this place been here the entire time and Kurt had only been half aware of it. He sighed and realized it must have been partially due to the fact that he had been trying to hide himself for a lot of last year, and this year he had been preoccupied. Plus, before now, he had always had Glee Club.
Looking up at him, Kurt nodded and smiled, “Thank you. This is really all sort of new to me, but thanks.”
He kept smiling at him, before he held out his hand to him. “Well, I really hope to see you at auditions. I’m Ethan, by the way.”
“Hi Ethan,” Kurt said, after shifting all the papers he had been given to his other hand and taking his hand to shake it. It felt weird touching someone who wasn’t part of his family, seeing as he was always holding hands with the girls in Glee Club, but he obviously wasn’t around them much anymore. “I’m Kurt, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be coming to the auditions. I have nothing else to do.”
Ethan chuckled and smiled back at him, and they stood there for a moment talking about the various plays that had been put on. It was nice to talk to someone who understood, and Kurt for once wasn’t thinking about wanting to be somewhere else. He was going to make the best of what he had, even if it meant spending time away from the person who had kept him sane for months. Blaine would understand; after all, it had been Blaine’s idea in the first place.
As they parted though and Kurt walked out of the theater, he looked down at the pamphlets and held them to his chest for a moment, feeling a hope that he hadn’t felt in quite some time.

---

“Ciao!” Alessandra, the waitress called out as she heard the door open. Blaine tried not to grin too wide, although her own lips broke out into a happy smile as soon as she was done getting the table she had been waiting their water and gotten a chance to see it was Blaine who had walked into the little caf�.
He hadn’t been planning on walking into the shop as he strolled through the city, trying to figure out his thoughts. But it was the weekend, and Kurt had sent him a message as he slept telling Blaine that he wasn’t going to be around until the later afternoon because he was going to go out to lunch with Rachel, so Blaine was taking advantage of the time he was given to walk around again. It helped him think, and Blaine needed to do that right now.
“Ciao,” he said, smiling as he sat down by the window as Alessandra came up to him with her order pad. “Solo caff�, per favore.”
“Of course!” Alessandra said in her accented English, giving Blaine a little wink as she walked away. She was a few years older than him, but ever since Blaine had found this place he had been coming in to talk to her and have some coffee. Alessandra had helped him learn the city and taught him all the slang his teachers had left out, and in exchange Blaine taught her English and occasionally serenaded her when there weren’t any customers around.
Looking out at the people who walked by, Blaine let out a sigh he had been keeping in for days. He couldn’t show Kurt how bad he felt when he was around, and the truth was because he was happy when Kurt was around. Happy didn’t even start to describe how Blaine Anderson felt when Kurt was around. It was the high light of his day when he got home and found Kurt was already awake and reading for one of his classes. With Kurt, Blaine felt completely fine.
It was when Kurt left, or when Kurt talked about feeling alone while they spoke to each other that Blaine felt his heart tighten. Because Blaine felt alone whenever he wasn’t with Kurt, and yet Kurt was basically saying that being around Blaine wasn’t enough anymore. But he told himself it wasn’t like that, he told himself Kurt was just trying to adjust to the new life that had been thrown at him. Certainly he had felt the same way when he had first arrived in Rome.
But with the extra time they were given, Blaine was milking it for all it was worth. Maybe if Kurt had fun with him, he wouldn’t feel so alone, and Blaine knew that he needed to spend as much time with Kurt as he could, because without him it felt like he was just going through the motions. He found movies Kurt hadn’t seen yet for them to watch together by sharing screens on Skype, he helped him find monologue choices for his audition in a week, and he even tagged him in random posts just so that they had something more to talk about. Anything to spend time with him. Somewhere along the past couple months, Blaine had grown dependent, but mostly he wanted Kurt around because lately things had…changed.
Even though Blaine had admitted to liking Kurt a few months ago, he hadn’t been aware of the extent of his feelings. He wasn’t even aware of them right now, but something inside of Blaine had changed, and whenever he met Kurt’s eye he felt his heart begin to pound in his chest as a lump grew in his throat from all the words he wanted to say. He had to look away before he said something he wasn’t ready for. He had to look away and figure out what this feeling was.
“Here you go,” Alessandra said, pulling Blaine out of his thoughts as she sat down across from him and gave him his cup of coffee. Looking around, she leaned forward and whispered, “I need to tell you what happened.”
Raising his eyebrows, Blaine took a sip before he smiled at her and leaned back, allowing his thoughts to be pulled away from his feelings for Kurt. “What happened?”
She leaned in more, and Blaine tried to stifle a laugh. She loved to gossip, and although Blaine didn’t care at all for it, she meant enough to him for Blaine to put up with it. She had been his friend when he had needed one, and the least he could do for her was sit down and listen to her while enjoying some coffee.
“Do you remember that other guy who worked here? Emilio?”
Blaine nodded as he put his cup down, letting her go on.
Her voice was quiet, but excited as she spoke, “Well, last week the boss caught him stealing money from the cash register. And then he looked back at some of the old security tapes…he’d been doing it for months and no one had noticed!”
“What?” Blaine breathed out, before shaking his head. He let his fingers play with the coffee cup in front of him before he asked in the same whispery tone, “So, was he fired?”
She nodded, before sighing and throwing her arms up into the air, “And now I’m all on my own, working my bones off in this place because no one wants to help out!”
Blaine opened his mouth to tell her it was awful, before someone walked into the shop. She rolled her eyes and mouthed that she’d be back before she walked over to them to take their order. Blaine allowed his mind to slip back into where it had been before.
The truth is, Blaine had been feeling this way about Kurt for some time. He had wanted any little excuse to be around him, wanting to spend every moment with him. But most of all, he felt different, and trying to come to terms with what the feeling was killing Blaine. He had a name for it, on the tip of his tongue, and he thought of it every time he saw Kurt smile at him, but it simply made him blush. Blaine wasn’t ready for that, but he didn’t know how else to describe it.
And he had no idea how to tell Kurt that he felt like going back on something he had told him a few months ago.
“Blaine!” Alessandra called out, as she sat down across from him, once again pulling him out of his thoughts. “I had an idea!”
Laughing after he took a sip, trying to be grateful for the fact that she was distracting him, Blaine smiled and said, “And that is?”
Alessandra’s fake broke out into an excited smile, and she giggled as she said, taking Blaine’s hands in hers. “Work here! You come here all the time anyway, and you can work after school and get money to go out with your friends. I started working here when I was in high school so that my boyfriend didn’t have to pay for everything. Don’t you have a boyfriend yet?”
Blaine felt his face color at that, and he shook his head as he took a sip to find the right words. He hated how that affected him now. Clearing his throat, he shook his head, “Uh, well, not yet.” The way he phrased that made Blaine’s head swirl, and he sighed before looking at her and adding, “I don’t know if I can. Between Warbler practice and fencing, I’m pretty busy afterschool.”
With a sigh, Alessandra got up and put her hand on his shoulder. “Well, think about it anyway,” she said, with a smile as she went over to get the people their orders.
He felt awful for saying now, but he couldn’t work in the afternoons. What if it took his time away from Kurt? He was pathetic, but he needed to spend time with him. And if he stopped going to fencing, his father would kill him, and the Warblers were his closest friends. Working didn’t seem like an option for him, and he dropped the thought.
But as he stood up to pay, smiling at her and saying he’d be back again, Blaine’s head went back to the thoughts that had been haunting him before. But now her words rang in her head. ’Don’t you have a boyfriend yet?’
His dress shoes hit the cobbled streets and Blaine bit down on his lips. There was one thought he couldn’t drop. It was the reason why Blaine wanted to be around Kurt so much, it was the reason why hearing that Kurt felt alone even if they were spending so much time together hurt him so much. It was why Blaine felt suddenly like his whole world depended on someone who lived thousands of miles away, and he wondered for how long he had felt like this. Once upon a time, he had told Kurt that he liked him and hadn’t been lying. But he had told him he hadn’t been ready for a relationship from so far away. And maybe he still wasn’t. But as he walked towards his bus stop to go home, Blaine didn’t want to live in a world where he wondered if he was or wasn’t ready, because he knew what he wanted.
And that was complete, and total honesty about how he felt for once in his life.