All my clothes are a mess, also my hair. These guys just won’t treat me well. Anyway, where am I? Again. Getting my head out of that bag was easier than I expected, with a bit of concentration and ninjutsu discipline… Okay I confess, I just pulled it out, as easy as that and swam to the nearest piece of land I could find. I always make a big drama about everything. I’m a drama queen. As I walk, I can hear the funny sound of my wet boots going through the sidewalk. My watch’s alarm starts ringing. Time to take my OCD meds. I check my pockets; I guess water just dissolved them somewhere around here a while ago. I hate my life so much right now. I check my phone, at least it still works.

I am a bundle of nerves right now. There are a lot of people walking, fast, some of them cough or sneeze without realizing they are contaminating. I walk beside a telephone cab. It starts ringing. I walk faster. I try to stop a taxi, but all of them are taken. Or they don’t stop because I leave a pond of water when I walk. Then in a shop the phone rings again. I try to run; my damn leg is giving me a lot of trouble now. There’s a little girl right beside me. Her little phone is ringing. She answers with a cute “Hello” Then she turns at me.

“It’s for you, doctor…” She says, handing her little phone. I move backwards, and start walking faster. I pass by a phone cab and the phone rings, again. I take a little bit of courage and answer it.

“Hello?”

“There’s a security camera in the building to your left, can you see it?” A voice asks. At least, it’s not the same voice that called to my phone. This one sounds really serious, polite, and therefore creepier.

“Oh, not again please, all my clothes are already soaked in god-only-knows-what kind of water. Who’s this?” I ask looking for the camera. Now I can see it. It is pointing directly at me.

“Can you see the camera, Doctor Hummel? There’s another one in the building opposite of you…” Oh yes, it is.

“And finally, another one on top of the building right behind you”

“Uh, okay” I hummed. I really don’t like this game. A black sedan parks right in front of the phone cab. A tall man wearing sunglasses (in the middle of the evening, yes) gets off and opens one of the back doors.

“Get into the car, Doctor Hummel, there’s a treat I want to discuss with you, please. I promise I won’t treat you bad. In fact, I can help you get rid of your damp clothes”

Oh, that sounds even creepier, I don’t wanna be raped. I’ve had enough of the white blazer guy’s insane compliments. The voice seemed to realize its mistake.

“…I mean in the good way. I have no interest on harming you, anyway. Just get into the damn car please.”

“Umm I guess I don’t have a choice…” I remember the two guys pointing at me with the long range riffles; I shouldn’t ask if this was going to be the same. As I said, my destiny is marked by my lack of survival instincts. I hang up the phone. No one is putting a bag in my head (I guess I can call that progress); I just get into to the car. There’s a blonde next to me. She seems a bit worried about something, while she’s texting. I see I’ve already wet my car’s place. I need to get these nauseas away.

“I hope you don’t mind” I tell the girl with a smile. She looks at me, with an innocent expression.

“Never mind, I think Sedan has been thirsty all day, you should be glad to help him, I guess that’s why he turned on his eyes, look, just as his fellows.” She explained. Sedan? Who’s…? Oh my, she’s talking about the car. Who’s this girl? She’s even weirder than Blaine. I feel like I’ve just taken crazy pills.

“Umm interesting, I’m a little confused…”

“I’m Brittany”

“Uh, hi Brittany, my name is Kurt. So I was going to ask you…”

“Sshh, we can make out later if you want. Right now I’m trying to decode a message from the angry birds, they seem very concerned about something… but every time I’m about to find out, they just pop and disappear. I guess the pigs and them don’t get along well…”

“Oh I see, but I didn’t say a thing about making out…”

“Sshh angry birds, what’s the big deal? Besides your secret’s safe with me”

“Which secret?” I can’t stop drumming my fingers.

“That you’re unicorn”

“I’m a what?” She sounds so confident in everything that I’m starting to freak out.

“Oh, I’ll shut up now. Boss wants to talk to you.” She says pointing outside the window. “Get off” She orders. I obey. More than 3 men wearing black suits and sunglasses carry me to a circular curtain, were they tear of my damp clothes and take out a watering can. “Let us make a start guys! You have 3 minutes.” Brittany shouts. I’m behind a curtain all naked with 8 men surrounding me. It’s cold, by the way. They throw something that smells like roses soap and shampoo with a hosepipe. “Help yourself” They tell me.

I’m forced to take a shower, the most uncomfortable shower I’ve ever taken. When I’m done, with the curtain still around me, they hand me a towel at the same time that something that looks like a giant hairdryer dries the rest. Then, they hand me underwear, a suit (which unfortunately is like 1 and a half size smaller than me), a new pair of boots (same size that my old ones) and my phone. “Go on, please, our boss is waiting” Brittany says pointing a small door in front me. This is insane. Note to self: Check the damn pills I’m taking.

I take a look around. It’s like a huge parking lot, with loads of wooden boxes. There’s a man standing with umbrella. He has amazing deep blue eyes, dark brown hair combed perfectly stylized, he might be a couple of inches taller than me. He’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. He grins when he looks at me, and points a chair in front of him with his umbrella.

“I hope you’ve enjoyed your shower. I know it’s a bit uncomfortable. Have a sit Kurt” He says. I really think he’s very handsome, but I can’t stop thinking in what he is going to do to me.. I’m very nervous.

“You know, I’ve got pepper spray on my pocket, I’m very clever. I also started practicing ninjutsu at a young age… and I also have a phone, you’ve could just phone me, on my phone…” I complain. I hope I don’t regret saying this later. He remains smiling.

“Well, when one tries to avoid the attention of Blaine Anderson one must learn to be discreet. And it wouldn’t hurt you, you know, to sit down. I bet you forgot to take your meds, don’t worry, I’ll make someone look for them… You don’t seem very afraid by the way.”

“You don’t seem very frightening, besides another fellow of you just got me earlier than you. He was the one, who throw me to the Thames, and no I didn’t forget to take my meds, they just vanished thanks to the river.” I complained, in a loud tone. He seems surprised.

“Oh, the bravery of a soldier. Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity don’t you think? I could just happen to be a mafia man, and you dare to speak to me like that? Do you know I’ve already figured out 50 ways to kill you in 5 steps? Anyway, straight to the point .What is your connection to Blaine Anderson?” He asks frowning. It can’t be. Why is everyone so interested in that? I mean, it’s no big deal.

“Why is everyone so concerned about that? Nothing! I barely know him, I met him YESTERDAY! What do you expect from that?” I shout. He laughs.

“Umm don’t tell me, and since yesterday you’ve moved in with him and now you’re helping him solve cases. Am I to expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?” He joked. A happy announcement? I gape, not able to believe in what I’m just listening. Don’t think about it Kurt, just focus.

“Who are you? Why are you so interested in Blaine? I guess I’m just one of his friends, then”

“Really Kurt? You’ve met him, how many friends do you think he has? I´m the closest thing to a friend Blaine Anderson is capable of having… an enemy. If you do ask I’d properly say his arch-enemy. He just loves to be dramatic. .. “

All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!

Note to self: Must change ringtone or turn the silence mode on. Who’s this, anyway?

From: Unknown number
Baker Street. Come at once if convenient.
BA

Blaine?

”I hope I’m not distracting you.” The man said, raising his eyebrows.

“Not at all. I thought you were planning to kill me anyway” I answered politely. He laughs.

“Oh, you’re so funny. Do you plan to continue your association with Blaine Anderson?”

“I could be wrong but I think it’s none of your business” I say, squinting at him. He’s wearing a Westwood suit! How come I didn’t notice?

“It could be” He says

“It really couldn’t” I chuckle.

“Well, here’s the offer Kurt, if you do move to 221 Baker St I’d be happy to pay you a meaningful sum of money to keep an eye on him” He proposed. I’m seriously thinking in accepting that money.

“Why?” I ask him, just to be sure.

“Because you’re not a wealthy man, doctor and you’re never going to be. As long as you keep despising hospitals…”

“How do you…? For what?”

“Information. Nothing indiscreet. Nothing you'd feel...uncomfortable with. Just tell me what he's up to. ”

“Why?” He sighs.

“I would prefer for various reasons that my concern go unmentioned, we have what you might call a... difficult relationship.” I gape. Oh my, is this Blaine’s boyfriend? He is like 8 or nearly 10 years older than him! But wait, I haven’t even figured out if he is straight or not.

“It can’t be…” I splutter. He grins.

“But I haven’t even mentioned a figure yet, Kurt”

“Don’t bother please, I understand”

All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!

From: Unknown Number
If inconvenient, come anyway.
BA

“You’re very loyal VERY quickly, aren’t you Kurt?”

“I’m not loyal, just not interested” He picks up an envelope from a chair behind him. He opens it and starts reading a sheet of paper.

“"Trust issues"...it says here.” He points the paper. What the hell is going on here?

“What's that?” I ask him, leaning a bit closer so I can see, but the truth is I can’t

“Could it be that you've decided to trust Blaine Anderson of all people?”

“Who says I trust him?”

“You don't seem the kind to make friends easily.” He slaps me. Of course I don’t, since Matt… I don’t want to think about it.

“Are we done?” I ask him, but it seems like am begging him. He still smiles, playing with his umbrella.

“You tell me. I imagine people have already warned you to stay away from him, (it’d be no use if I warned you again) but I can see from your left hand that's not going to happen.” He says, very confident.

“My what?”

“Show me.” He orders, or is he challenging me?

“Don't...” I hesitate.

“Remarkable. What is? Most people...blunder round this city, and all they see are streets and shops and cars. When you walk with Blaine Anderson, you see the battlefield. It’s dangerous to keep doing that. You've seen it already. Haven't you?”

“What's wrong with my hand?” I take a look at it, it seems completely normal to me.

“You have an intermittent tremor in your left hand. Your therapist thinks it's post-traumatic stress disorder. She thinks you're haunted by memories of your military service.”

“Who the hell are you? How do you know that?”

“Fire her. She's got it the wrong way round. You're under stress right now and your hand is perfectly steady. You're not haunted by the war, Doctor Hummel... You miss it. Welcome back. Time to choose a side, Doctor Hummel.”

All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!

From: Unknown Number
It might be dangerous.
BA

Oh, Blaine is in danger! I think, with my eyes wide open.

“You may now leave if you want. Just tell Brittany where you want to go, and she’ll drive you. It was nice to meet you Kurt” He waves, smiling. I won’t be able to forget that smile in a while…

When I arrive to my new flat, I ran upstairs. I’m holding my gun, hidden in my coat. I open the door, slowly. Everything is in its place. Something smells a bit stinking. I spot for Blaine. He is lying on the couch, he’s barefoot, one of his hands is covering his face, there’s something red in his chest…

“Blaine, Blaine are you ok?!....” He hums and nods. “What the hell are you doing?!” I yell. He raises his arm.

“Nicotine patch. Helps me think. Impossible to sustain a smoking habit in London these days. Bad news for brain work. I also had some cookies with strawberry jam. Anyway, nicotine is better…”

“It's good news for breathing, Blaine! You have 3 damn patches, brilliant choice!” I barked. I thought it was something more dangerous. Thank Gaga he is fine.

“Oh... Breathing! Breathing's boring. Besides, it’s a three-patch problem” He said. I leaned closer to him. “Show me” I ordered. He raised his arm again, careless. I pulled out one of his patches furiously. He cried out in pain. “Ouch! Kurt! Why did you do that?! Why are you so mad?!” My breathing is getting heavier.

“You tell me Mr.-Know-it-all! You asked me to come! I assumed it was important! I thought something happened to you!”

“It was important of course! Something happened, Mrs. Hudson took my skull it was a friend of mine, Ouch, Kurt that was evil” He complains. I’m so furious right now…

“WHAT?! “EVIL?! Do you think it was evil Blaine?! I was THE OTHER side of London! And you made me cross London just to replace a SKULL! ” I cried. He handles his arm while he shakes his head. “Not just to replace my skull, I also needed to borrow your phone” He confesses. I squint at him while I pull it from my pocket. “I need to text, I can’t use mine, it’s on the site.” He says with a cocky smile. Silly. I throw my phone to him, he catches it when it hits his chest. He lets go another ouch. “Really, why are you so in a bad mood today uh?” He asks in a tender tone. I take a deep breath and pass a hand through my hair. “Why am I so mad?! Why do you think?!” I cross my arms.

“Maybe because you’re using a suit that is 1 and a half size smaller than the ones you usually use or perhaps because someone stole your hairdryer and you couldn’t make your hair, or because you forgot to ask the cabbie for your change after you paid him to bring you here…” He says. Oh, he realized that my hair is a mess. Did I really forget about the change? I touch my pocket. Of course I did… anyway, that doesn’t erases anything that happened today.

“Really Blaine?!I WAS KIDNAPPED TWICE today! And everything is your fault…” He frowns while he texts something. “Why? What’s wrong?” He asks while he grabs a piece of paper.

“I’ve just met two of your friends, well enemies, one of them claimed to be your arch-enemy by the way. They offered me money to spy on you…” I explained. He seems very calmed.

“Oh, my arch-enemy, he's the most dangerous man I've ever met, yes. And did you take it?”

“Of course no” I say, a little tired. I sit on the armchair.

“Pity, we could have split the fee or use it to buy your spare fridge. Think it through next time” He says. I can’t believe it, this guy is really weird, I almost betray him and there he is, careless and texting something from my phone. I look at the table. There’s a little pink case at the table. There’s a paper near there that says “Jennifer Wilson”. Suddenly the anger is gone.

“Oh, I didn’t kill her, by the way” Blaine says handing me my phone. “I didn’t say you did Blaine” This is weird.

“Why not? Given that text and the fact I have her case it's a perfectly logical assumption.” He sits and takes a sip of tea. How could he be so calmed? It’s weird, but I have to say I trust him. I remember what Sergeant Fabray told me.

“Do people usually assume you're the murderer?” I ask him. He chuckles. “Now and then yes. Scream if you like” He sighs. I don’t think Blaine is the killer, but this frightens me a little. “How did you get this?” I point at the suitcase.

“By looking” He answers. Why does he think that his short answers are logical to me? “Looking how? Or where?” He raises his eyebrows. He looks adorable.

“The killer must have driven her to Lauriston Gardens. He could only keep her case by accident if it was in the car. Nobody could be seen with this case without drawing attention - particularly a man, which is statistically more likely. So obviously he'd feel compelled to get rid of it. Wouldn't have taken him more than five minutes to realize his mistake. I checked every backstreet wide enough for a car five minutes from Lauriston Gardens, 'and anywhere you could dispose of a bulky object without being observed. 'Took me less than an hour to find the right skip. But it had to be pink, obviously. Due to her outfit, if you ask.” He explained.

“Why didn't I think of that’” I say out loud. Of course, the woman was all dressed in pink, and that’s why we have that stinking smell, he looked for it on the garbage.. Blaine sighs again

“Because you're stupid. No, no, no, don't look like that. Practically everyone is. Now, look. Do you see what's missing?” After calling me stupid BLAINE?! Oh, puppy eyes, okay, okay I’ll take a look. What’s wrong with your confidence Kurt?

“From the case? How could I?” There’s loads of things that the woman carried here. It could be her lip balm, nail polisher or whatever. Blaine holds his chin.

“Her phone Kurt. Where's her mobile phone? There was no phone on the body, there's no phone in the case. We know she had one. I’ve just texted it. She has a string of lovers and she's careful about it. She never leaves her phone at home.” I open my mouth to say something (maybe the murderer has it), but then I take the bullet. “Wait; did you just texted the dead woman from my phone?” He looks right and then left quickly. Like a child trying to hide what he just did.

“Okay I did A few hours after his last victim, and now he receives a text that can only be from her. If somebody had just found that phone they'd ignore a text like that, but the murderer... would panic. So we’ll just have to go and wait for our murderer to come.” He says, smiling.

"What, you want me to come with you?” I ask skeptically. He sighs “Mrs. Hudson took my skull, remember? I like company when I go out, and I think better when I talk aloud. The skull just attracts attention, so... Problem? ” I’m frowning.

“Yes, it’s called Sergeant Fabray”

“What about her?” He says grabbing his scarf and overcoat.

“She said you have no friends. She also said you enjoy this.” He chuckles. “And I said "dangerous", and here you are, ready to go on an adventure with a man you scarcely know. Tell me you don’t enjoy it too” Okay, I’ll take that as a slap. Damn it!







“Okay, so tell me, why are we waiting on a restaurant?”

“This is his hunting ground. Right here in the heart of the city. Now that we know his victims were abducted, that changes everything. Because all of his victims disappeared from busy streets, crowded places, but nobody saw them go. Think! Who do we trust, even though we don't know them? Who passes unnoticed wherever they go? Who hunts in the middle of a crowd? Besides, we can have a nice and discrete view of 22 Northumberland Street. Keep your eyes on it.”

We’re sitting in a table for two, near the window of an Italian restaurant, there are not much people here, but it smells good, like bread, hot bread with a slight cinnamon on it, and pizza, pepperoni, pineapple. Sweet, delicious.

“Hey Blaine! Little buddy how’ve you been doing?” A tall man with a fake mustache pated Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine smiles quickly. “Hello Mr. Schuester” He greets. The tall man takes out a little post it notebook. “Oh just call me Schue or William I don’t really care. Anything on the menu, whatever you want, free. On the house of course, for you and for your date.” He said pointing at me.

“I’m not his date” I hesitate. Blaine pretended to be deaf.

“This is Mr. William Schuester. Three years ago I proved to Mike Chang at the time of a particularly vicious triple murder that Will was elsewhere, house-breaking.” He explained me. William grinned

“Hell yes, he cleared my name.” He whooped, while he placed a plate of spaghetti in a table nearby. “He later went to prison” Blaine whispered winking. I laugh, I’m nervous; I get like that every time Blaine winks. Who wouldn’t?

“Do you want something to eat Kurt? It’s going to be along waiting, if I were you I would order a Shepherd’s Pasta with Ricotta Sausage. I think it’ll be a nice start.” I’m totally going to order something. Reasons: it’s free, it smells delicious and I’m starving. It’s the first good thing I get from Blaine in the day, by the way. I order what Blaine told me (I’m not in a mood to remember names, I just want to EAT)

“Are you going to order something too?” I ask him, taking a glance at the window.

“No thanks, I’m thinking. It’s disgusting to eat while thinking. It makes my brain work slower. Besides it's Wednesday. I don't eat on Wednesdays.” He says, without looking anywhere but the window. My food is here, it was so fast! I eat everything without realizing that Blaine is staring at me with a raised eyebrow and gapping.

“Sorry, Hungry” I apologize. “Don’t mind me, just carry on” He said. When I finish eating I realize we’ve been all silent. I decide to break the ice.

“So, um, have you got a girlfriend?” He frowns. “Girlfriend? Not really my area.” He answers. This is awkward, but I really want to know. I can feel my face is turning red right now. “One of the guys who kidnapped me, the one who said he was your arch-enemy said he had a difficult relationship with you.” He smirked. “Of course we have” Blaine admits. Great job Kurt! Now, the killing question…

“Is he your ex? Which is fine by the way, I don’t mind if you like boys its f-fine and I don’t mind if you like older boys, I’m not judging you or whatever.” I say, almost stuttering the last syllable .He raises his eyebrows. I can see he hesitates.

“I’m not very good at romance and no, he’s not an ex…” He stops. “There he is, our invisible murderer” He whispers. He stares for a while. I see the cab, is a normal London cab, what’s wrong with it?

“Will! Glass of with wine, quickly!” Blaine orders. Mr. Schue (I like that nickname, sounds cute) runs and gives him the glass. Blaine takes it and splashes it in his own face. What is he doing? “Watch, don’t interfere” He tells me.

“Will, headless knight” He says. Mr. Schue grins. “Oh, I love that.” Then he pulls Blaine from his coat, raising him at the height of his eyes. “Out from my restaurant cretino, you’re all drunk!” He screams and he throws him to the street. “And stay away!” Blaine falls down. Shortly after, he stands up again. A car nearby toots at him. Oh, my, he was nearly hit by a car! I know he has to pretend to be a real drunker, but he’s risking a lot.

Mr. Schue stares with me. “He’s in the case now, kiddo, don’t worry about him” He says. “I’m not worried” I defend myself. Mr. Schue chuckles. “You’re biting the fork” He laughs and walks away. Oh, okay. I’ll just leave it. Blaine gets near the taxi and taps the driver window. He seems to be talking. He is a good actor. Then after a short chat. He turns, still leaning in the cab. He takes out his phone. I can’t see him very well. Then he grabs the cabbie by the neck of his shirt. I have a bad feeling about this. Will is back. “How’s Blaine going?”

“Fine I think…” I mumble. Blaine suddenly moves backwards, almost falling down. He’s trying to walk, but something is not letting him. I can feel the danger. I stand up.

“No, don’t interfere remember? It’s all part of the plan” Mr. Schue stops me. The cabbie gets off the car, and stops Blaine from walking. He is holding him from his chest. Blaine’s trying to scream something, he is even looking right to the window where I am. I can’t hear him. I lean closer to the window. I can see his eyes are wide open. He’s getting paler.

“K-uurt…” I barely hear. The cabbie shoves him to the backseat of the car, and closes noisily the door. Blaine is really in danger. “I don’t think he’s no longer acting…” I whisper. ”No, no, no all part of the plan, Blaine always has a plan” Mr. Schue says. I can see Blaine’s hand through the back window of the taxi, which is leaving by now. “Yes, but this has gone wrong!” I answer him. I leave the fork in the table and get out of the restaurant immediately. Blaine needs me. I can see the taxi a few miles in front of me. I try to run faster. It turns left in a street that’s creepy and lonely. There’s no one here. Please God, don’t let anything bad happens to him. I beg.

I ran after him, and then I feel something hits my weak leg, and I fall down. My head hits the floor. One of my arms hurts terrible, but I can’t really tell which one, I feel so bad. My gun slips out of my pocket. Damn my leg! I think. The taxi turns right. I’ve lost Blaine. I feel tears running down my eyes. I can’t do anything.

Suddenly, I see someone is offering me a hand to stand again. It’s a Westwood sleeve. I raise my head. I see the man who kidnapped me. He smiles. “I told you” He says helping me stand up. “I even warned you” He grabs my gun; there’s a strange sparkle in his eyes. “But it seems that you just won’t hear me” He points at me with my gun. Oh my, he is going to KILL ME! I lean backwards. God, please let me live… again.

Blaine is lost.

So am I.