Kurt and Blaine didn’t talk for a while. They didn’t ignore each other completely but things were definitely different. They smile slightly in greeting as they would pass each other in the hallways at school. Kurt doesn’t sit with Blaine in classes anymore but he still sits in front of him in physics, though that’s only because there aren’t any other seats. Kurt knows he could take any seat he wanted really but he liked being close to Blaine, even if they weren’t talking like they used to.

Kurt really did stop going to glee club and Blaine had to admit that he did kind of miss his presence even though he was also thankful for it. Sometimes the boys would all hang out at Finn or Puck’s place but Kurt and Blaine never spoke to each other directly, only through larger conversations with other people involved.

Things were never really awkward apart from the one time Blaine was walking out of a classroom and Kurt was walking in and they accidently bumped into each other. Blaine started apologising while Kurt started swearing until they looked up and realised who they had walked into. Blaine blushed and Kurt quietly said sorry. They both walked off without another word.

Kurt never asked Puck what had happened to Blaine at Dalton. He wanted to know, really badly, and he knew he could get it out of Puck no matter how much he swore he wouldn’t say anything but he knew it wasn’t his place. Blaine hadn’t told him for a reason. Blaine obviously didn’t trust him anymore and Kurt couldn’t blame him. This was what he wanted in the end anyway wasn’t it, for Blaine to stay away from him without Blaine hating him? He was safe this way and if Kurt couldn’t have everything he wanted then he could at least have this.

When Christmas break rolled around they almost didn’t talk at all. Kurt, after deleting and retyping the message about seven times, sent Blaine a text to say Merry Christmas on the twenty fifth where Blaine responded almost instantly. At midnight on New Year’s Eve, Blaine sent Kurt a text wishing him a happy new year. Kurt responded instantly.

Kurt was sitting in a car with Kyle, on their way back from a New Year’s party they had both worked at. It was one of the best nights of the year to be selling because it’s the of the most popular nights that people want to ‘try something new’. Kurt was so sick of it all. The money was good, it always was, but he knew it wasn’t worth it, not anymore anyway. Burt had, so far, stayed true to his word and hadn’t had a sip of alcohol. He went to the meetings every week and he was becoming closer with Carole. Kurt was glad his Dad had someone else to talk to that wasn’t someone he worked with (yes, he did actually go to work regularly now)but it was also a bit weird coming home to find his friend’s Mum in his kitchen helping his Dad cook dinner.

They had worked through the night and into the morning so Kurt was able to watch the sky change colours while they drove through Lima. He found himself thinking about Blaine like he so often did these days. He worried about him. He wanted to know how Blaine was, wanted to make sure he was smiling and not cutting himself off from the rest of the world. It’s absolutely killing Kurt not seeing Blaine and he can’t wait until the holidays are over just so he can see him. He knows they won’t talk but all he needs is to see him smile, just once, to know he’s better.

Kyle pulls up to an old large house that’s situated on the outskirts of Lima. Hugo’s house. Kurt has always hated this place. It’s like walking into a horror movie. It’s always too quiet in there and the dull colours make the house even spookier at night time. Now with the morning sun streaming through the windows, dust can be seen floating through the air despite how clean the house always is. They walk through the cold house, up the stairs and into a living room where Hugo was talking with Ivan, his so called ‘business partner’. Really he just handled all the dirty work, the things that Hugo didn’t have the guts to do himself and the things that Kurt really didn’t want to know about.

As Kurt and Kyle walked closer to the closed door the floor creaked underneath them and the other men stopped talking. Hugo opened the door and with one look at Ivan, he left, leaving Hugo Kurt and Kyle alone.

“Boys, sit please.”

They sat on the couch as they watched Hugo pour himself a glass of whiskey despite the early hour.

“Money.” He ordered with his hand reaching out to Kyle who handed him an envelope full of cash they had made that night.

They sat in silence as Hugo counted everything and then gave the boys their cuts for the night.

“So, Kurt. You say you want out?”

Kurt’s eyes shot up at Hugo from where they had been previously counting what he had made himself that night. He was surprised that the issue was being addressed at all knowing that Hugo didn’t want to let him go at all.

“Fine. I have one last job. You deliver this bag to this address and then our work together is done.” With that he got up and handed Kurt the duffel bag that had been sitting on the armchair next to Hugo as well as a slip of paper with an address on it.

“Y-you’re sure? I mean that’s it, deliver this and I’m done?” Kurt knew he must have heard wrong, what Hugo wants Hugo gets, and he wanted Kurt.

“Well unless you’d rather stay?”

“NO! I-I mean, no thanks. Uhm I’ll just go now then if that’s all? Are they wanting me to deliver anything back to you or…?”

“No. Do this and you’re done. The bag’s heavy so take Kyle’s car and then come back and get your motorcycle off my property.”

Kurt couldn’t get out of there any faster. He grabbed the bag, address and Kyle’s keys and raced downstairs and out the door. He got into the car and started it up. He put the address into the GPS and drove off. It wasn’t until he was halfway there he pulled the car over and let himself breathe. He had no reason to trust that it was all over for him so easily when Hugo had threatened him so many times for trying to leave and now he was just letting him go? It didn’t make sense. He pulled the car out and continued driving again, trying not to think too much about what had just happened.

When he reached the right street he parked a few doors down and walked up to the house with the bag over his shoulder. He reached the house and knocked on the door a few times hoping that someone was home and awake. It was nine thirty in the morning on New Year’s Day after all.

He heard someone walking around inside and as the door opened he took a step back as he saw who was on the other side of the door.

“Karofsky? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Karofsky looked just as confused as Kurt felt though it looked like he was just waking up.

“Hummel?” He asked through a yawn. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Fuck, I must have the wrong house or-“

“Dave! I told you not to answer the door you idiot. Move.”

Some guy, a little taller than Karofsky but just as bulky came storming through the house and right up to Kurt. He could tell that the guy must have been Karofsky’s brother or something because they looked so alike, this guys was just a little older.

“Screw you Danny.” Dave said as he stood back from the door.

 “You the guy Hugo sent?”

“Uh yeah.” Kurt said as he lifted the bag off his shoulder and handed it over to the guy, Danny.

Danny opened the bag as soon as he grabbed it and started looking through it, obviously making sure everything was there. He seemed satisfied and left mumbling nothing but a quick thanks to Kurt who was then left alone with Karofsky.

“Uh look, Kurt, about what happened-“

“Don’t. Whatever it is I don’t want to hear it. I have better things to be doing than standing here talking to you.”

“Fine,” Karofsky scoffed. “Whatever.” Then slammed the door in Kurt’s face.

Kurt walked down the street to the car, angry that one of the first people he had to see this year was Karofsky when it should have been his Dad or Puck or even Blaine. He got into the car and sped off to Hugo’s house to collect his bike and hopefully never to have to return again.

It was midday when Blaine woke up on the floor of Nick’s lounge room. Every New Year’s Eve Wes, David, Blaine, Thad, Nick and Jeff would get together at Nick’s house, whose parents always spent that night in Chicago with friends, to have a little celebration of their own. Wes’ older brother, Michael, turned twenty one a few months ago and was able to buy them alcohol this year. So while the other boys would be getting drunk, Blaine would be sipping on his soda instead. He knew how the alcohol could affect him and with everything that had happened lately he didn’t want to risk anything and just wanted to have some fun.

Since the night he talked to Kurt in the clearing he started going to therapy again. His Mum had suggested it to him a few days later and he reluctantly agreed knowing that he wasn’t going to be seeing Dr Kinswell in Westerville. She had suggested a few other therapists to Blaine that were closer to Lima and that’s how he found himself going to see Dr Munroe once a week. Blaine feels like he’s doing better now than he was before. He’s able to talk to his friends at school though he might not always feel entirely comfortable around them. He misses having Kurt around but he always feels better when Sam is by his side. Things aren’t too awkward with Kurt, and Blaine had started to forgive him, but he wasn’t really ready for them to become friends again. He still hasn’t talked to his Dad and he’s starting to wonder if they’ll ever really talk again. That’s why he was so excited for New Year’s Eve because he always felt safe around these guys. He knew they would never judge him.

He sat up and looked around at his friends who were still asleep in various positions around the room. Knowing they wouldn’t be awake for another few hours he decided to go and take a shower. He walked upstairs quietly, sure not to wake up any of the other guys, and made his way to Nick’s room to grab his bag. He checked his phone and found a message from Puck asking how he was.

Puck had become really protective of Blaine ever since his fight with Kurt and although he really didn’t understand why, seeing as they were never all that close, he quickly got used to it. Sam had told Blaine that he’d mentioned what happened at Dalton when Blaine first moved there to Puck and maybe that was why he was acting this way? Blaine really didn’t know but after getting daily messages from him while they were on Christmas break he stopped questioning it.

As he stood in the shower he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed every time he checked his phone when he got a message or a phone call only to find that it wasn’t Kurt and he found himself wishing that it was Kurt messaging him every day making sure he was alright instead of Puck. He knew it was selfish and even a little stupid considering everything that had happened between them but he really was trying to believe Kurt when he said he’d told Blaine he didn’t mean anything he’d said at Puck’s party.

Was it really so bad if he missed Kurt? Blaine knew he had Jeff and he had always been such a good friend and helped Blaine through some really tough times but Kurt understood him in a way he wasn’t sure anyone else ever really would. He could read Blaine as if Blaine was telling him everything himself and though that scared him he also found himself relieved at times. Admittedly Kurt had crossed some lines when they first met but Kurt had apologised  and ever since has always been so gentle and has always been there for him. And maybe there was a part of him that wanted to know what would have happened if they’d kissed at Puck’s but what does that matter now? Even if they were to start talking at school again it’s not like they would get together anyway. They wanted different things. Kurt just wanted someone to have sex with, and Blaine? Well he’d always just wanted someone to love who loved him back. Was that really so much to ask for?

As Blaine stepped out of the shower and into the steam filled room, he promised himself that he’d stop actively avoiding Kurt when they got back to school and would see what would happen from there but for now he was going to try and enjoy the rest of his break without thinking about Kurt. It wasn’t a surprise that he didn’t last ten minutes without thinking of the other boy.

When Blaine stepped out of his car into the school parking lot he was reminded of his first day at McKinley. He was nervous, possibly even more so than his first day but not for the same reason. He was nervous about seeing Kurt again but it was a mixture of being excited and worried about seeing him. He’d promised himself that he would stop trying to avoid Kurt but what if he talked to him and Kurt didn’t want anything to do with him? Blaine knew he had to stop thinking like this. He hated thinking the worst of Kurt but lately he didn’t have much to believe in.

He walked into the school and made his way over to his locker when he spotted Kurt for the first time. He leant against his locker as Kurt and Puck were play fighting with each other like they so often did. Blaine couldn’t hear what they were saying but he was surprised by what he saw. Kurt was happy. Blaine wasn’t naïve enough to think that Kurt would be miserably pining over Blaine or anything but the way he was laughing and smiling and looked so carefree had Blaine’s stomach twisting in knots. He loved seeing Kurt happy like this, he hadn’t seen him this way in such a long time he could barely even remember when it was. It put a smile on his own face without him even realising it. On the other hand though, he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous that it wasn’t him that Kurt was laughing with. It wasn’t him that was putting that smile on Kurt’s face. His mind was brought back to the picture he found in the garage of Kurt and his family. Blaine had promised himself that he would make Kurt smile like that again someday and he couldn’t help but feel like he’d somehow let Kurt down.

He grabbed his books out of his locker and turned around just as Puck spotted him and waved him over. He started walking over to the pair and watched as Kurt’s smile faltered a little and he began to hate himself just that little bit more knowing it was him who caused that to happen.

“Anderson!” Puck practically yelled as he threw his arm around Blaine’s shoulders. “What’s up man? We missed you.”

“Ah, hey, Puck.” Blaine was suddenly standing right in front of Kurt with Puck still talking in his ear about how much he missed  him over the break or something. Blaine didn’t really care about that. All he could care about were the blue orbs so completely focused on him and the arm around his shoulders.

He knew they’d have to speak at some point and they had class next anyway so it was now or never, right?

“Hey, Kurt.” Blaine spoke so quietly he was barely heard over Puck’s rambling.

“Hi Blaine.” Kurt replied just as quietly.

They stood there and just stared at each other for what felt like hours but what could have only been a few moments. At some point Puck must have realised what was going on and had decided to walk away and leave the two of them alone.

“So…”

The silence stretched out even longer until they both laughed awkwardly at themselves.

Blaine was thankful when Kurt tried again.

“So, good break?”

“Uh yeah, it was okay I guess. It was good to get a break from school I-“

“You mean a break from me?” Kurt asked. He didn’t really look angry, just curious, maybe a little upset though.

“Kurt-“

“Blaine it’s fine. I get it. I was a complete dick and you deserve to have better people in your life. People that will make you happier than they will sad.” Kurt looked at him with such sadness in his eyes. Blaine had tried so hard to believe that Kurt had been trying to protect him from whatever he was mixed up in but it wasn’t until this very moment that he saw this was all hurting Kurt too, maybe just as much as it was hurting Blaine. It wasn’t until this moment that he truly believed that Kurt really did care about him.

“That’s not true. Yeah you hurt me but you did make me happy, Kurt, happier than anyone else here ever really has.”

Blaine couldn’t stop the smile that graced his face when he looked up at Kurt. There was so much hope in his eyes and it made him so happy to think that Kurt was hopeful for them. That maybe they can do this, still be friends even with everything that had happened.

“So does this mean you’ll start sitting with me in class again? Because English is so boring without you to annoy anymore.”

Blaine laughed. A real, true laugh that hasn’t felt forced in any way since before Puck’s party and he liked how it made him feel. If someone was to ask him yesterday if he was happy his answer would have been a straight up no, but now, here with Kurt again, if someone was to ask the same question he wouldn’t be sure that he’d be able to say yes, but he would answer with one day, maybe even one day soon.

They started walking to class together in a comfortable silence when Kurt suddenly stopped just outside the empty classroom. Blaine turned around to see Kurt looking at him with such vulnerability in his eyes, even more so than the time he apologised for the disastrous kiss they shared.

“Kurt? What’s wrong-“

“I’m so sorry Blaine.” The blue eyed boy rushed out. “I didn’t want to hurt you and I didn’t think things would go as far as they did but then you were so upset and I didn’t want to believe it was me that did that but everyone was telling me it was my fault, Sam almost killed me because of it and it wasn’t even worth it because I hurt you because I couldn’t get out of dealing but then he just let me go for no reason and I lost you for it when I didn’t even need to and… I just… I’m just so sorry Blaine.”

“Hey Kurt, slow down. First of all, yeah you hurt me but it wasn’t all you. I was already upset with you but then there were other… things that pushed me over the edge after that. It wasn’t all you, Kurt. I need you to know that. Second of all,” Blaine took a breath before he asked his next question. “What did you mean when you said dealing?”

Kurt’s head shot up from where his eyes were trained on the floor and he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

“Fuck. I, uhm, yes. Yeah I was dealing Blaine. I was drug dealing, that’s what I w-was caught up in. I couldn’t get out and my boss threatened to hurt people around me and that’s why… it’s why I…”

Kurt kept shaking his head at himself and was looking around himself like he was looking for an escape route. It made sense though. If this was true, which seeing how nervous the subject made Kurt had Blaine believe it was the truth, then everything made just a little more sense in Blaine’s eyes. Why Kurt had to ‘protect’ him. Who that guy he kept seeing with Kurt was and why he was always disappearing in the middle of the day.

Blaine knew they had so much more to talk about but he knew right now wasn’t the time for that.

“Class is going to start soon. Why don’t we sit down so you can, oh I don’t know, start planning all the ways you want to annoy me this lesson for your own entertainment.”

Kurt looked up and Blaine gave him a reassuring smile. Who he was trying to reassure he didn’t know but he didn’t think about it.

“We can talk later.”