Sept. 26, 2012, 12:43 p.m.
All I see is red: Maybe I should just go
E - Words: 1,659 - Last Updated: Sep 26, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 8/8 - Created: Sep 02, 2012 - Updated: Sep 26, 2012 386 0 2 0 0
"Kurt, you cut yourself?" Carole said and she ran over to Kurt and hugged him.
"Im sorry" He sobbed into Carole's shoulder.
Burt just got up and left the room. He looked pretty angry.
"Is he...is he mad?" Kurt choked out
"Honey?" Carole said as she got up off the coach and let go of Kurt. "Im gonna go talk to him. I will be right back"
Kurt and Finn could hear Burt and Carole screaming at eachother in their bedroom.
"He is mad" Kurt frowned,
"He will be fine. I think he is just in shock. He is gonna get you help though. You are gonna get better and we are all going to help you. I don't wanna see you hurt yourself again. I was terrified last night.I thought you were gonna die, Kurt." Finn said and Kurt swore he saw a tear escape his eye. "You are my best friend. No, you are my brother. I want to help you. I feel like I need to. You are the best brother I could have asked for and I never wanna lose you. I plan on you dragging me along with you to whatever college you decide to go to and we could share a dorm or we could even get our own apartment. And Blaine and Rachel could come with us and the four of us could live together and maybe we could even get a cat. I just don't want to ever lose you. You are probably the best thing that happened to me in my life. Before my mom married your dad, I didnt have a father and I didnt have a brother that I could tell everything to. I used to tell Puck everything. He was my bestfriend but then he slept with my girlfriend and got her pregnant. I know you would never do that to me because we are really close and we care about eachother. Can you promise me that you won't cut again?" Finn was teary eyed and Kurt couldn't help but jump of the coach and tackle his little brother with a hug!
"Finn, you are so sweet!" Kurt cooeed as he held tight onto Finn. "You are the best brother I could have asked for. But cutting isn't that easy to give up." Kurt let go of Finn and looked him in the eyes. "Its an addiction and if I get some help maybe I could work through it, but I can't just give it up. It feels impossible sometimes. But I do promise you that I will try my best to give it up."
"Thank you, Kurt. It means alot that you are willing to try and give this up." Finn cooed and then Carole walked back in the room. Kurt knew she was upset.
"Kurt, honey. He is mad. But he wants to talk to you" She said as she took a seat on the couch and buried her head in her hands. She looked really stressed out. Kurt walked into the kitchen and Burt just looked up at Kurt. He looked hurt and sorta worried.
"Dad" Kurt whispered.
"Please, take a seat." Burt replied. Kurt took a seat in the wooden chair across f om his father and he waited for him to say something but he never did, so Kurt spoke up.
"Dad... im sorry. I have just been feeling really bad about myself lately. The bullying isn't getting any better and-" Kurt said but Burt cut him off.
"Kurt, just listen. I dont give a fuck what is going on with you. If people find out about this, you will embarrass the entire family. Do you want people to find out that I have a crazy son? I dont!" Burt screamed. Carole and Finn just looked at eachother with worried eyes and Kurt started to cry.
"Mom I have to go in there and help Kurt" Finn exclaimed and he got up and headed towards the kitchen but his mom just stopped him.
"Let them talk, Finn" She replied. Finn sat back down and screamed into a pillow.
"Dad.. i... im sorry. Its addicting. I can't just stop. But I told you so I could get some help. I want help. I know I have a problem", Kurt whispered and Burt jumped out of his seat and got in Kurt's face.
"Kurt! Go get what you use to cut yourself and give it to me. If you do this again, you are quitting the glee club and breaking up with Blaine"
"Yes, sir" Kurt whispered and he walked up to his room, Finn following him up there.
"Kurt, come here" Finn said and he pulled him into a hug. "Im so sorry. I should've been in there to help" Both boys cried and when they were done, Kurt grabbed all his razors and gave them to his dad.
"Is that all?" Burt scowled
"Yes" Kurt replied and he walked back up to his room called Blaine.
"Hey baby! Whats up?" Blaine said as he answered the phone.
"Big fight with dad. Can I come over? Please?" Kurt cried into the phone.
"Yes, I will come and pick you up. I will be there as soon as I can" Blaine exclaimed and he hung up his phone and ran to his car.
Blaine reached Kurt's house and beeped the horn. Kurt came running out with tear stained cheeks. Blaine opened his door and pulled his broken boyfriend into a hug.
"Come on" Blaine said as he opened the door for Kurt. "Lets go to my house and we can talk about this." They drove to Blaine's house in silence. Kurt was crying the entire way there and Blaine swore his heart was breaking at that moment. They pulled up to Blaine's house and got out of the car. They walked up to Blaine's bedroom and Kurt collapsed on the bed.
"He is mad. He is fucking mad" Kurt screamed into the pillow. "He hates me"
"Who hates you? Who is mad?" Blaine asked as he took a seat next to Kurt on the bed and started rubbing Kurt's back in soothing circles.
"My dad. Me and Finn decided to tell my dad about me cutting and he got all mad and started yelling in my face and then he made me give him my razor blades and he told me if I did it again he would make me quit glee and break up.... break up with you." Kurt sobbed into the pillow.
"He said that?" Blaine asked and he started to tear up.
"Yes" Kurt replied. "I am so mad at him. Its not that easy to quit cutting. He just doesn't get it." Kurt sat up and looked Blaine in the eyes. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like extremely tired.
Blaine pulled Kurt in for a kiss and wrapped his arms around his neck. They made out for a little bit and then decided to come up for air.
"Kurt" Blaine cooed "Nobody will ever tear us apart. Remember last night? That was the best night of my life. And noone can ever break the bond we have now. Its unbreakable" He leaned in and pressed another kiss to Kurt's kiss swollen lips. "I freakin love you Kurt"
"I freakin love you too, Blaine" Kurt exclaimed and he pressed a kiss to the tip of the other boy's nose.
They cuddled together for a few hours, sharing sweet kisses from time to time. Then Kurt had to go back home, so Blaine drove him back. Kurt was practically shaking the whole time. He was freakin nervous. He didn't wanna face his dad. He knew it would just turn into another fight. He kept itching his arms and he wanted to cut so bad. But the threats his dad made were pretty serious and he couldn't risk losing glee club and Blaine, so he was gonna ahve to quit. But he knew it was gonna be hard. But he was doing this for himself, Finn, and Blaine. He promised them. And he needed to get healthy. They reached his house and Kurt was internally freaking out.
"Kurt, Just remember, have courage!" Blaine exclaimed. He kissed Kurt and he headed for his hse. But before he reached the step, he got a text from Blaine.
Courage <3 :)
Thats what I need, Kurt thought. Courage.
He walked up to the door and opened it. He was greeted with a hug from a worried Carole.
"Where were you?" She asked
"I went to Blaine's. I just needed to get away after that crazy day." He replied and he walked upstairs.
"Kurt, are you okay?" Finn asked as he saw Kurt walk in the room. Kurt looked like a trainwreck. His face was all puffy and his cheeks looked like they would be tear stained for months.
"Ya, im fine, I guess" He replied and he took as seat at the end of his brother's bed.
"Dad is really sorry. He feels like he was way too harsh on you. And I agree. He was an asshole to you. He doesn't understand what you are going through"
"Maybe he should apologize to me himself. He was a total jerk and it really hurt my feelings. It made me wanna cut even more. But I didn't. I don't wanna lose glee... Or Blaine." Kurt groaned. "He was being so unfair today."
"He is getting you therapy, you know? He wants to help. I guess he was just a little concerned about you and he thought he was doing what was best, but he realized what you need is help. "
That is excatly what I have been wanting since I started cutting, Kurt thought to himself. I don't wanan be like this anymore. Today is the start of a new Kurt. Im gonna change for me, my family, and my loving boyfriend.
Everything was falling into place for Kurt. He had lost his virginity the night before, he was in love, he was getting help. Everything was good. For now.
Comments
Awwh perfect chapter! After everything we talked about this chapter really helped me. When my mom found out about me cutting she was worried, but she kept turning everything back to herself like 'people are going to think I'm a failure as a mother' and 'now our family is ruined' and 'I guess I'll need to get you help because if not the whole world will know I'm a failure' I was like yes help would be nice. But like Kurt said it all just makes you want to cut more. Ever since my mom found out last week she's been like guilt tripping me like crazy and I just wanna cut so badly. But I won't, I made a promise to myself. I want help and I'm going to do it. It's great stories like this that inspire me. Thank you for being amazing I absolutely adore this fic. I need a Finn and a Blaine in my life. Okay your chapter notes, both of them are incredibly inspiring and I love them to death!!! That is all.
y kurt is basicslly who i am in this story! thanks for reding :) ya my mom would act like that!