Blaine woke up to the sound of the room door shutting, still half sleep he felt around his bed for Kurt and all that remained was the warm spot he left behind. Blaine told himself several times to open his eyes and get ready for the day, but him mind was set on staying in bed. His mind was also set that something bad would happen. He was going to see his mom after three years and frankly, he didn’t think he was ready.
He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling, then the rest of the room. He held a long yawn that made his eyes water before sitting up and running his fingers through his messy hair. He kicked his feet over the edge of the bed and he cold floor made him shiver and consider staying in bed all day. Kurt came back in the room with a grin and Blaine though staying in bed curled up to Kurt would be the best way to spend the last day of the semester.
"Good morning." Blaine said yawning again. Kurt set his phone on the counter as he began to talk.
"It’s a great morning, my love. My dad and carol are staying in DC for the weekend and Finn is at the university til the 20th which means I have the house to myself this weekend," Kurt explained walking to stand in front of Blaine.
"And what are you in that big empty house." Blaine asked looking up. Kurt straddled Blaine's legs and smiled holding Blaine's hands.
"Oh I don't know, I was hoping you could come over, and we can see where the night goes from there." Kurt said. It didn't take more than a second for Blaine to realize what Kurt really wanted to do this weekend.
"Are you sure? I don't mind waiting." Blaine said.
"I don't know, I think I am. I have all these feelings for you Blaine that I can't see myself with anyone but you. I don't know if it will happen this weekend but yes Blaine I want you, and only you." Kurt said blushing a bit.
"Okay, just know you don't have to do it because you love me, or you think it’s time. Only when you’re ready." Blaine clarified.
"What about you? Are you ready, I mean the same goes for you?" Kurt said as Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's hips.
"I am Kurt, I love you so much and I'm glad I can lose my virginity with you, you are Mr. Right." Blaine said. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck and kissed him falling back into the bed.
Blaine was too focused in to kissing Kurt, he didn't see or hear his phone ring. After his make out session, coffee and bagel breakfast, and social media updates, he finally noticed he had a voicemail. Lydia called him twice the second time she left a message."Hey Blaine, I just called to ask if we can bump dinner an hour later. I guess you’re in class or practice, if you can't call me; I take text messages too. I'll see you later son."
Blaine sent her a text back saying that was fine and he will see her at the restaurant at five instead of four. Kurt walked in the room dressed, hair styled, and a sense of urgency as he grabbed his bag.
"What are you in a hurry for love?" Blaine asked.
"I need to talk to Mr. Sloan about my grade, they are all posted and there is no way I got a C- English." Kurt said.
"OK, hey I'm going to be late to Sebastian's party, Lydia moved our meeting time." Blaine said sighing at the pout Kurt gave him.
"Okay, maybe I can figure out why Sebastian doesn't like me. But don't be too late." Kurt gave him a kiss on his forehead and stalked out of the door towards the English department.
Blaine didn't think too hard on how agonizing the next few hours would be as he waited to eat dinner with his mom. Every second felt like a hour as Blaine paced his room. He ironed his shirt four times and changed bow ties twice. Kurt was retaking his final in English to bump his grade and could help pass the time or sooth the nerves. Blaine sat and went through email for an hour before deciding to just go to the restaurant early and order a cup of coffee and wait there.
Lydia came and sat beside Blaine not even realizing it was him. She did a double take as Blaine continued to work on the crossword. "Blaine?" She said in a quiet voice.
His heart stopped as he turned and looked at her. "Hi," he said awkwardly turning to look away from her. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat, "you look great," he complimented. She had a simple bob hair cut with blond hair at the bottom deep chocolate brown on the top. Her make-up was flawless just the way Blaine remembered brown eye shadow enhancing the blue of her eyes. Blush right across her sharp cheekbones and soft pink lipstick giving her a motherly approach to things. He wore a pink turtle neck sweater and a black peat coat.
"I almost didn't recognize you, you're so handsome." Lydia said, "I wasn’t sure if you would come."
"I said I would, let’s get a table." Blaine said gathering his things and moving over to the high chairs behind him. The waitress came over and asked what they wanted a drink.
"What are you drinking Blaine?" Terri the waitress asked.
"Coffee black." Blaine said taking a sip of the luke warm coffee. "Actually can I have a coke zero Terri?"
The waitress smiled, "anything for you Blaine," she turned back to Lydia.
"Unsweetened tea with a lemon." Lydia said. The waitress gave Lydia and Blaine menus before walking back to the kitchen to make the drinks.
"Do you come here often?" Lydia asked Lansing at the menu for a second before looking at Blaine. She couldn't put her finger on it but he changed so much. He no longer looked like her but he didn't look like George either. He was grown up and not the boy that liked baking cookies anymore and Lydia just wanted to cry over the time lost.
"Yeah, Kurt likes it here and he and Terri are good friends." Blaine said turning awkwardly to look out the window.
"Kurt, you talk about him a lot, it’s not the same boy from freshmen year, is it?" Lydia asked.
"Actually it is, Dalton is a very popular in Ohio." Blaine said, "We have been together since in October. I love him."
"That's sweet, I was seeing someone a while ago, but your grandma told me to work on the men in my life and not add someone new." Lydia said trying to laugh at the end but it sounded more like she was choking.
"So you're really doing this?" Blaine said scolding her.
"I'm sorry Blaine, what I did was inexcusable but I love you I was wrong before and I'm trying to make it right now." Lydia said. Blaine didn't know what to say, he didn't know if he should believe her. He didn't know anything.
Terri returned with their drinks with perfect timing. "Here we go, do you know what you want for dinner or should I give you a few more minutes."
"Garden fruit salad please." Blaine said smiling at Terri.
"I'll have the same." Lydia said since she didn't have time to look over the menu. "Talk to me Blaine." She said as Terri disappeared.
"I really don't have anything to say." Blaine sighed.
"Then tell me about school, or your boyfriend, I don't want to eat over a silent table." Lydia said.
Blaine looked at her and shrugged, "I don't know, Lydia. I sing lead for my glee club. Captain of the boxing team, I tutor freshmen after school. I don't care for parties, I'm popular, and I managed to create a family here since you kicked me to the curb."
"Wow that is still a lot Blaine. I mean I never knew you could sing, I thought you just played the guitar." Lydia said picking out one think to talk about.
"I sing dance play three instruments, four if you count the harmonica. I've won several singing awards and sing publicly at nursing homes amusement parks..." Blaine said as if he were bored with her presence.
"And boxing, is that the only sport you play?" Lydia asked.
"It’s the only thing I do consistently. I've been in fencing tournaments, polo games but I like the physical contact." Blaine said.
"Oh, I didn't think you would. I mean you hated football and basketball when you were younger, and soccer wasn't even an option." Lydia added.
"I don't like teams." Blaine added dryly. He reached for his cola and Lydia locked in on the cut across his arm.
She didn't say anything she quickly looked away and racked her brain for something to say. "Your grandmother wants to meet you."
"Oh okay, she lives in California right." Blaine said.
"Northern, she actually told me to come find you and your brother. Cooper, how’s he doing? Is he still at NYU?"
"Yes, second year of law, he has been working his butt off to complete it." Blaine said, "He will be here Monday night or Tuesday morning."
Terri came put with the salads quicker than usual and set them down asking if she could get them anything. Both respectfully declined sending Terri on her way to check on other guest.
Blaine started to eat right away but felt as if he was so much ruder than ever before. Even when he is hanging out with people who hate him and he hates right back he is more talkative then this. He swallowed his food and looked at her, "so what do you do now?"
"I'm a secretary for a small personal consultant agency. Just answering phones all day." Lydia explained. She took a bite of salad and smiled, "you should come to California for spring break. And bring Kurt."
"I'll think about it."Blaine said, he wondered for a second if Kurt would even want to go. Blaine's mind drifted off to what Kurt was doing while his mom spoke about the neighborhood. He wondered what Sebastian was doing and if he even talked to Kurt. Blaine hoped Kurt was having a good time, he's not really the party type.
Blaine told Lydia about his best friend Wes, then talked about Sebastian and the party that was going on. "Actually I want to call him to see how everything is going." Blaine concluded digging in his jacket pocket.
"You can just go Blaine I don't mind." Lydia said.
"Are you sure?" Blaine said. He only had one message from Kurt wishing him good luck with his mom and that Kurt loves him.
"Positive. I'm glad you came and your life is swell." Lydia said her eyes watering a bit.
Blaine waved Terri down and gave her a twenty and told her to keep the change. "I'm glad you've changed for the better Lydia, I was worried sick about what would happen today. I want to try and rebuild this relationship."
"I will, Blaine, thank you for dinner," Lydia stood up, "can I have a hug before you leave."
Blaine nodded and gave her a warm hug. Blaine inhaled, surprised to see she didn’t smelt the way he remembered. She smelt like sugar, and Blaine felt safe in her arms, it was the motherly hug carol shared with him only coming from his own mother made everything feel different.
She released him and smile, "have fun at your party Blaine. I'll call you later."
"Bye mom." Blaine said in a low voice shocking Lydia. He walked out crossing the street to get to his car.
He called Kurt as he backed out, Kurt answering right before it hit voicemail. "Hello." He sung.
"Hey babe, I'm on my way over to Sebastian’s, how are things?" Blaine drove carefully to the party.
"Things are fabulous!" Kurt shouted laughing to himself.
"Sounds like you are having too much fun without me." Blaine smiled following the curve around the lake.
"I'm so happy and I don't even know why." Kurt said.
"I'll be there in about ten minutes."
"Okay, I'm in the kitchen. Love you."
"I love you too babe," Blaine hung up the phone and worried for a second that Kurt might be drunk. Blaine hoped Kurt had it under control and wouldn't do anything rash.
Blaine walked into the house, music emanating from the living room and chatter everywhere else. Sebastian knew a lot more people then Blaine imagined, while the party wasn't packed there were a go thirty people there. Blaine walked into the kitchen and saw nick and Jeff talking to some other people but didn't see Kurt.
"Hey Blaine, we were wondering if you were coming." Jeff said as nick nonchalantly put his hand around Jeff's waist.
"Yeah, I had dinner with an old friend. Have you guys seen Kurt?" Blaine leaned on the island.
"I don't know, he left like two minutes ago." Nick said.
Blaine sighed, "Thanks guys, I'll catch up with you later." Blaine said, he walked into the living room while texting Kurt where are you? Blaine hugged some familiar faces until he saw Sebastian and Kurt on the patio Sebastian smoking something and Kurt talking. Blaine stepped outside and approached them catching the last part of the conversation.
"She is probably the only thing I miss from glee club. But we will be together in college." Kurt smiled when he saw Blaine planting a wet kiss as Blaine hugged him.
Blaine was surprised when he didn't taste any spirits on Kurt's tongue. "Hey love, how is everything?"
"I was telling Sebastian about Rachel, I'm in a missing mood, we should go to lima and see her." Kurt said over enthusiastic.
"But you hate Rachel?" Blaine said. Kurt laughed and looked at Sebastian.
"That's why I love him." Kurt said looked at Blaine squeezing his hand.
"Hey Sebastian, sorry I'm late." Blaine said, Sebastian flicked the bud of his fruity cigarette and shrugged.
"Its okay, Kurt has been very entertaining" Sebastian said with a double meaning as he spit and reentered the house, Blaine looked at Kurt and raised an eyebrow.
"You're so handsome." Kurt said haughtily, pressing his body onto Blaine's. "Kiss me," Kurt ordered sucking on Blaine lip.
Blaine kissed him for a second before pushing Kurt off him, "hey what has gotten into you?"
"I don't know but I like it. I'm really hot." Kurt was only wearing a sweater claiming to be hot. Blaine had a sweater, a scarf and a jacket on and was getting chilly outside.
Under the fading twilight Blaine couldn't see what was wrong with Kurt so he brought him inside. Kurt led the way back to the kitchen and grabbed the water bottle off the counter. Blaine looked at Kurt, questioning his state of mind.
"Are you sure you are okay?" Blaine asked.
"I feel better than I have my whole life. Everything is beautiful, and I just want to dance." Kurt took Blaine hands and span himself around. Blaine held him still for a second and looked at his dilated pupils, "Blaine, let me go." Kurt said, "Don’t be such a party pooper."
Blaine left go of Kurt and apologized, "I'm sorry, I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine," Kurt whined, "now will you please come dance with me?"
Blaine dance with Kurt in the living room trying to act like nothing was wrong but Kurt was acting so strange. They sat down and Kurt kissed him hungrily his body moving closer to Blaine's. "We should find an empty room." Kurt suggested licking Blaine's ear making Blaine shiver.
"Or we shouldn't, this is my best friend’s house Kurt," Blaine said pulling away from Kurt.
Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine and stood up walking away to the back door, "Kurt where are you going?" Blaine stood to follow him. The few people that were outside were huddled around the fire pit laughing and having a good time blind to the argument going on behind them.
"Blaine, give me just a few minutes please." Kurt said with his back to Blaine.
"Kurt," Blaine breathed, reaching for Kurt’s ice cold hand, "hear me out."
Kurt turned around and smiled at Blaine. "Let’s go see if those jello shots have set."
Blaine stared at Kurt incredibly, his jaw dropping in shock. "You're kidding right?" Kurt shook his head no, "I'm really thirsty and hungry and jello is soooo yummy." Kurt put his hand on Blaine’s cheek, "you're yummy too. When can I eat you?"
"Kurt, stop. Did you take any pills or drink something?" Blaine asked assuming Kurt was drugged. It was the only explanation for his rash behavior. It wasn’t such a far stretch, there was a point in time where he and Sebastian would take pills for kicks. Blaine stopped but he never knew if Sebastian did.
"Yeah, Sebastian gave me some aspirin when I got here. That stuff is amazing I feel like a god." Kurt said.
Blaine closed his eyes and sighed before running back into the house. He ignored Kurt’s call and scanned the room for Sebastian. Sebastian was sitting at the air hockey table talking to a guy with a drink in his hand. "What did you give him?" Blaine shouted stepping right in front of Sebastian.
"Whoa Blaine what are you talking about?" Sebastian said slurring his words a bit.
"I know you gave something to my boyfriend, what was it?" Blaine said his voice still higher than normal bring attention to them.
"It’s a party Blaine. Did you want one?" Sebastian replied raising his eye brow. "All you have to do is ask, I don't mind sharing with you."
The room was quiet as Kurt came to view his expression not quite confused but not in the moment the way everyone else was. "No Sebastian, I don't want any pills I just want to know what you gave him."
"Its new, way better then special K, and cheaper then roaches. 12 for $30." Sebastian dug into his pocket and showed Blaine the bottle with a homemade graphic sticker that read V8. "Its s fun trip, take it with him."
"What the fuck Sebastian." Blaine shouted knocking the pills out his hand. "I don't even know who you are anymore."
"Get out then Blaine, I don't need you." Sebastian slurred his words and finished his drink. Blaine turned his back to Sebastian and took Kurt's hand leading them out the room. Blaine grabbed their jackets and stalked out side angrily. Kurt could barely keep up, his head was spinning and he could get a grasp on which way Blaine was walking.
Blaine clenched his fist and punched the mailbox leaving a dint and the cold metal ripped his skin. Sebastian lost it, giving Kurt a drug that no one knows anything about it. Blaine never wanted to talk to him again, their friendship was over. Kurt got over to Blaine and apologized, "I'm sorry, I don't feel good."
"What's wrong?" Blaine asked trying to calm down but he honestly just wanted to kick Sebastian’s ass.
"Everything is spinning, can we lay down for a while." Kurt asked. Blaine opened the car door and helped Kurt in. Blaine walked around noticing his hand was dripping blood. Inside the car he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his fist and began to drive down the road. Kurt turned he radio on and the news was warning a snow storm in the northern part of the state.
"Damnit, the roads are closed," Blaine muttered changing the station growing more and more irate as time passed. Kurt didn't say anything he either kept his eyes closed or watched Blaine drive listening to the soft music playing.
"Do you mind if we stay in a hotel?" Blaine asked after driving a few minutes.
"Nope, I've never actually stayed in a hotel, well never mind, last year in New York I did." Kurt said. Blaine turned into a Belmont inn parking swiftly and sighing.
Blaine turned to Kurt, "I'm sorry. I feel like I ruined the whole night."
"You didn't, its okay." Kurt said like he was out of breath. Blaine opened the door and the light in the car laminated Kurt's face and Blaine saw the sweat dewed on his for head. Blaine hustled around the car to help Kurt out and saw he was trembling with every step. Whatever that crap was Sebastian gave him was wearing off.
Blaine held Kurt close as they entered the hotel and approached the receptionist. She looked up at them as Blaine quickly said, "one night one bed."
She typed for a second and began to ask simple question such as name and method of payment. She then gave them a key to room 71 and said "check out was at 11:30AM thank you for choosing Belmont, happy holidays."
Blaine walked down the hall slowly helping Kurt stopping at their door. "Did I tell you I loved you today?" Kurt asked as they trudged through the door.
"Yes you did but reminders are appreciated," Blaine said sitting Kurt on the bed. They got out of the first layer of cloths and Blaine helped Kurt out his second leaving him in v neck undershirt and boxers. Kurt was still hot and clammy, but he just lied back in the bed humming to him; Blaine didn't know what to do.
He was panicking, he wanted to go to the hospital but with the weather he had no idea what to do or how to get there. Luckily Kurt fell asleep seconds into getting him into bed.
Blaine started to weep silently hating himself for letting Kurt get into this position. Blaine went into the bathroom and there was a note explaining the quarter machine in the hall way.
Forget your toothbrush? Comb? Razor? No worries! For up to a dollar purchase items like this in our convenient machine. Courtesy of Belmont hotels.
Blaine stared at the word razor then like a zombie walked out the room and saw the convince machine. A razor only cost fifty cents, digging around his pockets he came up with the change and like that, the answer to all his problems was in his hand. A door open and brought Blaine back into the real world he looked at the woman going to the elevator. Blaine walked swiftly back to his room then when straight to the bathroom and locked the door.
He broke the razor into pieces with his hand tossing the blue plastic pieces aside until he finally had the small thin silver scrap of metal in his hands. He stared at it for a second. It had been months since he really cut and it wasn’t what he need, thus began his overbearing internal struggle.
He saw two people in that mirror, one holding the silver scrap of metal, the other looking towards the door. A piece of him wanted to put the razor down, lay down next to Kurt and talk his angst out with Kurt come morning. But the side holding the razor, he wanted to see blood, to cut through the flesh to remind him how much of a fuck up he was.
Blaine set the razor down looking at it then the door before he removed his shirt and unfastened his pants showing his scared hipbone. His finger traced the scars for a second, then he picked the razor back up and began to cut quickly in no general pattern.
He rejoiced in the pain; melting away in the affliction. He basked in the burn his mind wondering only to end up in the other room to Kurt. He knew Kurt wouldn't be waking up anytime soon but the soft snore reminded him he wasn't alone. It want that he had no one to listen to, but he didn't know how to talk it out, words weren't as satisfying as the throbbing addiction.

The morning came too soon for Kurt. His body pulsated in evenly with pain as a salty after taste defiled his mouth. After a few minutes f gathering his strength, he rose from bed and into the bathroom to wash off his face. On the way out he stepped on a blue plastic piece but was too tired to think or to care what it was and where it came from. He returned to the bedroom and saw Blaine fast asleep, and Kurt crawled back into bed right beside of Blaine. Blaine felt Kurt and opened his arms, Kurt relaxing into Blaine hold.
Blaine waited a few minutes before asking, "How do you feel?"
"Fluffy." Kurt replied, "I feel like my head is full of cotton balls. Not hurting but not normal either. What happened last night? Did I do anything wrong or embarrass you?"
Blaine kissed the top of Kurt for head, "you could never embarrass me. Sebastian just gave you something but you passed out before anything bad happened."
"He did what? How? What did he give me?" Kurt sat up and glared at Blaine.
Blaine sat up with him wincing at the stretch, and put his hands on Kurt's, "relax I don't know how he gave it to you, but by the time I got there you were pretty messed up. The drug was some shit from France called V8. I'm sorry it happened to you." Blaine said. Kurt buried his face in Blaine's shoulders and tried not to cry.
"I can't be in public school I can't be in privet school. Everyone just hates me." Kurt choked.
"Hey, that's not true, all the New Directions like you everyone at Dalton likes you, the lunch lady told me just the other day that you were great and not to let you get away." Blaine lifted Kurt's face up to look at him, "and most importantly, I love you. Screw David, and Sebastian, they are just a blimp on your radar to fame. They are going to see you on TV and wish they owe you."
Kurt smiled and gave Blaine a kiss whispering thank you on his lips. They held on to each other for a few minutes, Blaine just kept yelling at himself to tell Kurt what happened. They need to talk about it, Kurt made Blaine promise they would talk if he cut again but he just couldn't say anything.
"Hey Blaine," Kurt started in a quizzed tone, "why are we in a hotel?"
"It snowed last night, they closed the roads til morning." Blaine said taking breath, "something else happened last night."
"With your mom?" Kurt asked, Blaine shrugged and shook his head no Kurt cocked his head to the side, "then what is it?"
Blaine opened his mouth to speak but words failed him. Instead he took a breath, "never mind."
"No," Kurt whined, "tell me, Blaine. Whats wrong." Kurt took both of his hands and wrapped them around Blaine's. Blaine looked away from Kurt for a second sucking back tears before his phone rang, Kurt grabbed it from the night stand and looked at the caller ID.
"It’s your brother," Kurt mumbled handing it to Blaine.
Blaine cleared his throat and answered, "Hey Coop!"
"Hey bud. I'm in Cincinnati, I just rented the car and should be in Lima in about three hours. Maybe four with all the snow." Cooper explained.
"Oh wow, okay. Kurt and I are still in Columbus, but we are leaving right now." Kurt got out of bed and began to dress himself and listen to Blaine talk.
"Really? I already got the hotel, and I can't wait to see you. And Kurt too." Cooper exclaimed.
"Yeah. Me too," Blaine said his tone clearly distracted. Kurt took the hotel room key and silently asked Blaine if he wanted to check out. "I gotta run bro but I'll see you in Lima. Dinners on me." Blaine swung his legs over and saw the waist band of his boxers were stained with blood. He groaned mostly to himself while watching Kurt leave he lifted the covers to see if there was any blood sheets.
"I'll hold you to it. Bye. Tell Kurt hi for me," Cooper said hanging the phone up first. Blaine tossed the phone on the counter and scanned the bed for his blood. Luckily there was nothing left behind so Blaine quickly got dressed and made sure he had everything stepping into the bathroom seeing the mess he left grateful Kurt didn't see all the plastic pieces laying around the floor. Blaine swept them under a rug and lifted the plastic coffee cup and took the razor blade wondering where he should put it.
Kurt returned quickly making Blaine panic and hid it in his wallet. Blaine walked out the bathroom, and smiled at Kurt, "let’s get out of here."
"Alright, but what did you want to tell me earlier?"
"I don't even remember." Blaine chuckled taking the lead as he walked ahead of Kurt down the hall. Kurt followed Blaine then once at the car Kurt started some conversations to drive home to. "So I had the craziest dream last night. But thinking now I bet we could be really great cafe owners in my dream you could speak French.”
Blaine laughed, “what exactly happed in this dream?"

January 4, 2010
The holidays went swimmingly. The Hummel’s loved Cooper and Cooper loved the Hummel’s. It felt all too soon that everyone was returning back to work. Burt and Carol flew back to D.C and Cooper was back in class Monday morning.
Dalton didn't return to school until the 7th even then classes didn't start until the 11th so Kurt and Blaine had a few extra days of alone time.
Blaine still hated the holidays even with his perfect big brother and amazing boyfriend by his side he found himself locked in the bathroom a few times that holiday break.
Kurt knew something was wrong with Blaine, the way he drifted out of conversations and looked exhausted all the time. The smile stopped reaching Blaine's eyes and it worried Kurt immensely. After three weeks either sleeping miles away or rooms away Kurt and Blaine finally shared a bed. Kurt fell asleep right away but Blaine's mind wouldn't shut up. He tried everything from counting sheep to listening to classical music.
Blaine finally dozed off around 3 in the morning his dreams were too much like reality as Kurt stormed into his childhood bedroom angrily. "What is wrong with you Blaine?" Kurt shouted.
"What are you talking about?" Blaine asked staring at the green day poster above Kurt's head.
"You. You have lost it. I found your razors. What do you have to say for yourself?" Kurt crossed his arm.
"Why are you yelling at me?" Blaine asked on the verge of tears .
"Why shouldn’t I? I have been nice and understanding but I can't do is anymore Blaine. You are going to kill yourself and I can't be with you when that happens." Kurt shouted making Blaine feel minute.
"I'll stop please don't go." Blaine cried.
"You won’t stop! Look at you! You're a mess. There’s a razor in your wallet for Christ sake. Blaine you need help. I just can't be that help anymore!"
"I need you. Please Kurt!"
"No! I can’t worry about you day and night. You’re stressing me out and I don't want to feel responsible in case you kill yourself because you can't find the courage to talk to someone. Good luck, Blaine. I'm done." Kurt walked out of the room and left Blaine crying.
Blaine stumbled down the hall hoping to find Blaine but instead he saw his parents yelling at each other and his father slap Lydia. Blaine ran in the room to stop them but instead Blaine's father hit him knocking him to the ground. Blaine opened his eyes and just like that he was on the street being jumped outside Westerville highs Sadie Hawkins’s dance.
Blaine shot up out of bed panicking. He took several deep breaths trying to calm himself down. Kurt woke up with the sudden movement. "Hey you okay?" Kurt asked groggily.
Blaine didn't say anything, he just got out of bed and disappeared down the hall. He couldn't calm down or relax his mind was racing as was his heart. The nightmare scared everything in him to the point he just started crying. He sat on the couch and cried hoping it would get rid of the hurt but it only made it worse. Kurt came out of the bedroom and followed Blaine cries to the living room.
Kurt sat down beside Blaine in his robe and simply opened his arms and held Blaine. Kurt was half asleep but fully concerned about Blaine. Kurt ran his finders through Blaine's hair and waited for Blaine to calm down before asking what's wrong.
"I am so sorry, please don't break up with me." Blaine stuttered trying to catch his breath.
"Blaine, baby I swear, I will never break up with you." Kurt promised but it didn't stop Blaine's sobs. Kurt move himself and Blaine to lay on the couch Blaine's head resting gently on Kurt's chest.
Blaine was having the biggest internal struggle of his life. His cutting relapse was so bad it sent to the peak when he as a sophomore where he would cut for everything he did wrong. The vulnerability he was expressing now made him hate himself and want to cut. Blaine closed his eyes and thought about Kurt only. His soft peach skin, and the way it tints pink when he gets flustered. The way his nose wrinkles when he is really laughing. All these thought managed to calm Blaine down enough to fall asleep in the arms of an angel.
The sun crept into the living room waking Kurt up first. He looked down at Blaine and wondered what set him off last night. Kurt maneuvered the blanket off the back of the couch and put it over both of them. Blaine noticed the change and woke up taking a deep breath. Kurt smiled down at him and kissed the top of his for head.
"Feeling better?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head no and held on to Kurt a little bit tighter. "Talk to me. What happened last night?"
"I had a bad dream," Blaine mumbled.
"About what?" Kurt pressed on for more answers.
"First you broke up with me, then I was 14 again watching my parents fight. And then I was back at the Sadie Hawkins dance getting jumped until I woke up." Blaine finished his recollection.
"Oh Blaine, I'm so sorry. I wish you didn't have to hold those memories. After all this time that dance still haunts you. I wish we never went," Kurt said, "and like I said last night, I'm never breaking up with you."
Blaine had to tell Kurt, there was no more avoiding it. He would get so much worse if he did start talking about everything. "Hey, lets make breakfast. Pancakes and coffee?" Kurt said trying to cheer Blaine up.
"Okay. I just want to take a shower first." Blaine mumbled. He got off the couch and sat thinking for a moment trying to figure out how to tell Kurt things have gotten worse. Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek and walked into the kitchen. Blaine sat on the couch a little bit longer as Kurt turned the radio on and Coldplay’s Fix You began to play on the pop station.
Blaine stood up to walk to the bedroom. His wallet was sitting on the counter and the blade inside it was calling him. Blaine took the razor and threw it in the trash. For a second he was actually done with the cutting. He took a deep breath and reached for the door. The tars welted in his eye. He was ready to talk after all these year he was ready.
"Kurt." He cleared his throat just as the song came to an end. Kurt turned around and rasied an eyebrow wondering what was wrong. Blaine lifted his shirt and showed Kurt his newer scars, "I really need your help, but I'm afraid."