What the hell was I thinking?! It's all over! All I wanted Was to keep parts of my life a secret! Now the biggest gossiping vampires know them. I'm so screwed! I can never come back to Chicago again.

I remember Hunter talking about the ripper that was in Fort Wayne. He was so humored and disgusted by the idea. He said something along the lines of how pathetic a ripper is, and how they waste blood. and if he was a ripper he'd kill himself. I stopped in my tracks and just broke down crying. This was my life now, I would never be able to control myself. I'll never have friends, unless they have the mind set of Kurt. I can't play human and go to college. What's the point of living life if you only destroy lives?

I felt a pair of hands wrap around me and smelt Kurt, relaxing into his hold I just cried on his shoulder for a moment. "Let me take you home," I heard him mutter.

I shook my head, "No. I need to think, figure things out." He gave me that look that said he didn't trust me, that hurt so much but he was right. In the end, I don't trust myself. "Please Kurt, I really need space and time, I'm just going to walk back to the loft."

"Okay, I'll do damage control. Find Alexia and Hunter, I'm sure they didn't see much." He said, I nodded my head and closed my eyes, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and disappeared. I walked home, just like I told Kurt I would.

My mind wondered around, I tried to think positive but I only saw the looks of terror all my kills gave me before they died. It was such a burden to carry all alone but, what more could I do? When I got home all the lights we're still off. I turned on the hall light and looked in the mirror. I was clapping. There was blood all over my face and I was grinning. "That's my boy!" I heard in my head. "Stop it!" I shouted pulling the mirror off the wall slamming it to the floor.

I walked into the bed room and sat at the edge of the bed. I just sat there, my eyes closed. I tried my hardest not to think about a damn thing. Of course that wasn't working at all so I started to think where the hell I was going to go now. That somehow made me think of Rachel and how much I missed her. I thought I could replace her with Alexia but I was wrong. Rachel was unlike anyone I knew. I missed her laugh and her voice. She was caring sweet, and gentle. She would always give me a hug and kiss goodnight. Anytime Kurt wasn't home, she would tuck me in, and sing to me until I fell asleep. I wanted nothing more than to have her sing to me right now. She was more of a mother to me in the 4 months we knew each other than my own mom. Even when she turned me, she did it out of love. She told me Kurt said goodbye to her and just the idea of me getting hurt in the next few weeks with Sebastian as the president the idea scared her. She didn't want to be alone, and knew I would understand in the end.

Those were the reasons I was devastated when she threw me out. She hated me in those seconds, hell, I hates me too. I know she was going to change Quinn, and no matter how much I miss her, I'm sure she doesn't want me back.

I heard the door open and shut. "Blaine?" Alexia called out for me. I didn't reply, I didn't want to see her or talk to her or do anything. I wanted just for a moment to be alone. She came into the room but stopped at the door. "Are you okay?" She asked softly.

I swallowed hard and looked up at her. "What do you want?" I asked in a cold voice.

"Please talk to me Blaine? What the hell happened back there?" she asked.

I stood up and walked out the room past her. "Just leave Alexia." I said feeling tears welt up in my eyes. She came over when I was thinking about Rachel. I wanted to replace Rachel with her but I never could and in this moment I think I could.

"You know I was a therapist before I was changed Blaine, you can't just tell me to leave. I need something from you, anything will work." She followed me into the living room and sat at the piano. "Sing me a song that tells me what's going on. I'm here for you Blaine. And unless you say something, I have no one."

"I don't know, Lex. I don't know where to begin. I just..." I took a deep breath holding back my tears.

She pulled me over to the piano and sat beside me, "Start small, tell me why you're ready to cry now." I pulled my hand from hers and placed it on the ivory keys.

I started playing a familiar tune and she smiled but she gave me a grimace as I started to sing. "Maybe if my heart stops beating, it won't hurt this much. And never will I have to answer again to anyone. Please don't get me wrong because I'll never let this go. But I can't find the words to tell you I don't want to be alone but now I feel like I don't know you," I took a deep breath ready to start but she picked up.

I never understood why she hated her voice, I thought she sounded lovely. "One day you'll get sick of saying that everything's alight And by then, I'm sure I'll be pretending just like I am tonight. Please don't get me wrong," she sung with her eyes closed then she looked at me and we sung the end together.

"Because I'll never let this go But I can't find the words to tell you I don't want to be alone But now I feel like I don't know you."

"Let this go," she sung putting her hand on my back, "let this go."

"And I'll never let this go But I can't find the words to tell you That now I feel like I don't know you" I finished.

"Why Paramore Blaine?" She asked after I collected myself.

"I really miss my maker," I said. "I could always go to her about things in my life, and her ability would let me show her the things I was talking about which always made me credible. She always knew how to make me smile and had the arms of a mother and all I want to do right now is be held by those arms but I can't."

"What else is bothering you Blaine?" She asked.

"I can't. I can't tell you." I stuttered.

"Yes you can Blaine, I can keep your secret." I shook my head no.

"To keep your secret is wisdom; but to expect others to keep it is folly. Samuel Johnson. I'm sorry but you should go before the sun comes up."

"Then just answer my question, is what Hunter said about you true?" She asked.

I stood up, "What the hell did he say about me already? He doesn't know a damn thing! I could rip his head off in seconds!" I shouted.

"Please don't yell, Blaine." Alexia turned to look at me. "Is that why Rachel left you?"

"Don't you dare!" I warned clenching my jaw. The silver candle holder showed my reflection cheering me on so I grabbed the first thing I saw and threw it at him, knocking the candles off the wall. She jumped when it happened and stared at me.

"I don't even know what it means!" she said.

"Why won't you say what I am? Are you afraid?" I asked.

"Yes Blaine, I'm terrified of you right now, I've never screen you act like this," Alexia said. "Hunter said you're a ripper, he said you were scum lower then werewolves."

"Well isn't he sweet." I growled.

"He went on and on and said if he were a ripper he'd kill himself. I guess that means you're the bad guy." She said her voice slightly shaken up with fear.

"Oh I'm the bad guy!" I shouted. "I must fucking be, what other kind of 'guy' would kill his father and best friend!? I'm always hungry, it consumes me Alexia! I can't ever stop! This is my life now and you can just leave if you don't want it."

"I don't like this side of you Blaine." She said.

I turned to her, "This is who I am! GET THE FUCK OUT!" I grabbed her by her arm and pulled her towards the door.

"I can't. Blaine stop! Its dawn." she tried fighting me but as a ripper I was much stronger then her. I opened the door and the sunlight burned her for a moment before she closed the door with her foot. She landed in the shards of mirror and was crying uncontrollably.

"Fine then I will leave," I said opening the door.

She screamed and moved out of the sunlight. "Blaine!" she shouted as I walked in the sun. I didn't care about my secrets anymore. I didn't care about anyone.