Kurt woke up to the sharp sounds of patience screaming and doctors names being paged. His eyes ached from crying but as he sat up he remembered what was going on. He cocked his head side to side in the ER for something to tell him Blaine was okay. Quinn was sitting in the chair beside Kurt. She reached her hand out to Kurt. "He's okay. Rachel is with him, she told the hospital she was his sister." Quinn explained relaxing Kurt the slightest bit. His skin chilled as he saw the blood crusted on his fingernails next to Quinn's French manicured hands.
"Will he live?" Kurt asked in a broken voice.
"The doctors said something about hypovolemic. He lost too much blood and he might have suffered brain damage but we won’t know until he wakes up." Quinn stayed calm but Kurt just started crying all over.
Quinn stood up to comfort him holding him tightly rubbing his back. "I can't take it Quinn. I can't live with him but I sure as hell can't live without him." Kurt mumbled into her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry Kurt." Quinn said feeling her own eyes prick with tears.
"I want to leave him so bad but my heart won’t let me," Kurt said thinking of their best 11 years and not even thinking of the horrid 5 years that Jim Gnecco pulled string during.
"He wants to change Kurt; he will do anything for you." Quinn informed Kurt.
"I want to see him." Kurt said after a moment of letting Quinn’s comment sink into his mind.
"I'll take you too him." Quinn took Kurt’s arm and led the way to Blaine’s room. Inside Blaine had an oxygen mask on and lots of needles and tubs hooked to his arms.
"Kurt," Rachel stood and wrapped her best friend into a tight hug. Kurt barley returned it but, he couldn't stop staring at Blaine. Rachel let him go as his feet moved absently to stand next to Blaine. Quinn took Rachel and they left the boys alone. Kurt looked at him, was this even Blaine? The Blaine Kurt knew would never be this selfish, to take his own life. But Kurt did provoke him, Blaine warned Kurt, that he couldn’t live without him. Kurt let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and let out a soft sob.
"I'm sorry, Darling. I love you," Kurt said taking Blaine’s bandaged hand. Kurt just looked at Blaine’s blank face and knew as much as he wanted to be free he didn't know how. He has spent half his life with this man. He saw this purple bruises now appearing on his own wrist. Blaine loves him, he was sure of it.Even if Blaine can’t seem to express it the way Rachel and Quinn do or even his parents. And as easy as running away would be he couldn't.
Kurt woke up to Blaine’s soft chuckle followed by Rachel’s voice, "Well we look alike and have the same blood type." Kurt removed the blanket placed on him and was upset no one woke him when Blaine woke.
"I told them to let you sleep," Blaine said watching his toes wiggle at the end of the bed.
"Still, I wanted to be the first face you saw." Kurt breathed speaking in all honestly. This causes Blaine to raise his head and meet Kurt’s eyes.
"You were, you always will be." Blaine said like a child admitting to breaking the window. Quinn and Rachel silently left the room as Kurt occupied a closer chair.
"I'm sorry." Blaine started but Kurt shook his head.
"No Blaine I am sorry. I haven't been good to you. And I don't want to live without you. Ever." Kurt took Blaine’s hand.
“You’re perfect to me. But I was selfish and I know that. But there is no world for me without you. I'm going to change Kurt. This isn't going to be our life anymore." Kurt was unsure if Blaine was telling the truth or not but it scared him shitless to have his hopes floating so high.
After 3 days suicide watch Blaine was released from the hospital to go home. Quinn and Rachel were kind enough to clean the mess in the kitchen but somehow neither men spent more than a minute in the room. Blaine told Jim he had to reschedule the recording. Though Jim was very upset he accepted and put Blaine in for the next available time which was in 2 months.
Kurt saw the change in Blaine right away; he trimmed down his beard to look less like a homeless man and more like a lumber jack. Though the first few weeks off the drugs and alcohol sent Blaine in an irritable frenzy but Kurt helped him through it every step of the way.
Kurt felt better now, their relationship was healthy again. They had regular date nights, and every Sunday enjoyed dinner with Kurt’s parents. Blaine wasn’t use to Kurt's day to day activities so most the time he just stayed at home writing music and contemplating putting out one more album.
It was late December when Blaine surprised Kurt with wedding bands. The silver bands had the infinite sign carved inside and a solid diamond that sparkled blissfully on Kurt's finger. Though it wasn't legal in Ohio yet, the state recognized same-sex licenses from other states. Blaine hoped they could go Vermont for their wedding this fall.
Kurt threw a small engagement party inviting his family and close friends that ended badly when Blaine over indulged on the celebratory champagne Finn brought. Blaine started going out to drink and just coming home to pass out on the couch. Kurt didn't know what to say, but every night Blaine assured him, he was completely under control.
Normally Kurt would just go to bed after Blaine left but something told him to wait for Blaine, a quarter past 3 Blaine stumbled into the dark condo. Kurt heard the ruckus and walked out to his living room.
Blaine smiled wide. "Hey gorgeous," he slurred stumbling over to Kurt.
"Blaine this has to stop." Kurt said in a cool voice smelling the liquor lingering on his breath.
Blaine took Kurt’s hand throwing it around his own shoulder and mumbled, "I just love you. So much." As if he didn't hear a word Kurt just said. He brushed hair off Kurt's forehead and leaned in for a kiss.
Kurt turned his head from Blaine’s liquor breath. "Stop Blaine..." Kurt said.
Blaine took Kurt’s face in his hands and pressed a sloppy kiss to his mouth. Kurt kept his mouth closed just feeling intoxicated by the amount of spirits on Blaine's tongue. Kurt pushed Blaine off him causing Blaine to stumble back and nearly loose his balance, Blaine reached out and grabbed Kurt to keep his balance jerking both of them. "Damnit Blaine!"
"Kurt kiss me," Blaine pulled Kurt in again but Kurt fought against hold accidentally hitting Blaine in the mouth.
"FUCK!" Kurt yelled as Blaine let him go and sucked the blood off his lip. “I'm sorry,” Kurt said reaching for Blaine but Blaine jerked back
"What is wrong with you? All the alcohol, and the late nights this isn't you Blaine." Kurt crossed his arms over his chest as Blaine's face fell.
"Are you mad at me?" Blaine asked softly tears formed in his eyes..
"No, I'm disappointed in you." Kurt’s words stung like a thousand knives as he sighed and walked away. Kurt heard the door close and he turned around to see if Blaine just left.
“Shit,” he muttered to himself as he opened the door and saw Blaine walking down the street, “Blaine, Come back.” He called out but Blaine ignored him and continued his march forward.