It was raining heavily and Blaine could hear the patter of the raindrops against the metal structure next to him. He was on the bridge today, instantly feeling ashamed that he couldn't avoid it. He knew that the closer he got to the bridge, the more likely he would fall, the beauty of the water below mesmerising, but today he couldn't avoid it. It seemed to call to him and even that thought made him think he was mad and in need of a straight jacket.

He looked at the water tossing below and wondered what it was about his life that felt so difficult. He had a dad – someone that was there for him no matter what, someone Blaine knew that loved him despite all the heartache and pain, despite the difficulty in conversation. Although he had moved from place to place, never settling, here in New York he finally felt like he could make a life for himself. Next year was suddenly full of possibilities and he could make his own choices. He had started to make some friends, though only tentatively. Robyn had seemed to take him under her wing and never left his side, prattling on and on but Blaine found it comforting. He looked at the dark inky water below and wondered why he so desperately wanted to go under.

It seemed to represent his feelings, that water, so dark and tossed about that he craved stillness and peace. Life was what you made it but he couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't want to live anymore, would be quite happy if he never felt anything ever again.

He could see the blur of his shape reflected in the water, constantly changing as the water was tossed about with the wind and rain and the sky seemed to howl above him. He was completely soaked by the rain now, his clothes clinging to him and it felt nice to have such a feeling of coldness envelop him. To feel so numb when his mind was twirling was a relief. He almost forgot the time when his phone suddenly rang and it made him jump, taking him from his reverie.

"Hello," he answered.

"Hello, its Kurt."

Blaine had forgotten and suddenly wanted to hang up. He didn't want Kurt to know he struggled so much despite Kurt already knowing why he had called the number. It felt like failure and he opened and closed his mouth against the rain hitting his face.

"Hello?" Kurt repeated, louder, more insistent.

"Hello," Blaine said in answer, giving nothing away and Kurt felt panic rise in his stomach. He knew.

"Where are you?"

"On the bridge," Blaine mumbled, clearly embarrassed to be back here again.

"Get off," Kurt said, slowly and firmly, "Get off and keep talking to me until you reach a coffee shop. Please."

It was the last word that made a difference. Kurt sounded so determined to help him but insistent, that Blaine knew he would do as he asked. He said nothing in reply but slowly, going against the wind Blaine walked along the walkway towards home, towards somewhere warm.

Kurt was talking but nothing was being heard, Blaine just concentrating on using his feet and walking straight. He carried on walking until he found a coffee shop and went in. Kurt could hear the tinkle of the doorbell overhead.

"Are you inside?" Kurt asked, sounding worried but still authoritative.

"Yes," Blaine said quietly.

"You should order a drink, you must be soaking wet and cold," he said, his voice softening.

Blaine approached the counter, getting stares from people sheltering from the rain inside the shop and a few curious baristas. He ordered a simple medium drip and walked to a corner table.

"I'm drinking a coffee now," Blaine whispered.

"Good," Kurt breathed a sigh of relief and could feel tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. He hadn't realised he had grown so attached to this man, this complete stranger but as soon as he heard he was on the bridge and saw the weather outside, he knew he needed help. Kurt swallowed, determined to keep his voice steady, no emotion displayed.

Blaine sipped his drink for a few minutes, allowing the warmth of the drink to fill his stomach, the steam warming his face.

"Sorry," he whispered after a while.

"Why are you sorry?" Kurt asked, surprise evident in his voice.

"I feel like I failed," he said quietly, "I shouldn't need to have you ring me to check up on me, I shouldn't need help."

"You didn't fail," Kurt said so sincerely that Blaine wanted to cry. Kurt sounded like he cared and it almost overwhelmed him. "Whatever you're going through, whatever you feel is not your fault. I will always try to help you, whenever you need me to."

"Will you talk to me about your day?" Blaine said.

"Ok," Kurt said feeling his heart ache that this boy needed such a distraction. He searched his mind for something he had done that was uplifting but couldn't really think of anything. He opted to talk about what had been bugging him instead.

"I confronted my best friend Rachel today," he started, "Told her she was being a diva and I challenged her to a musical duel." Blaine wasn't expecting this conversation and he found himself laughing. The idea of a musical duel sounded so ridiculously amazing that it suddenly seemed the funniest thing he had ever heard. Kurt heard his laughter and smiled, proud that he had done something right.

"You may laugh but it's deadly serious!" Kurt exclaimed with mock indignation, "She's been insufferable ever since she won the winter showcase, that performance I told you about?" Blaine hummed in acknowledgement. "She demands I make her tea and writes me notes on card to say she can't answer her phone because she is saving her voice. She ignores me in class so she can sit with these insufferable sycophants that think she's the greatest singer ever. I finally had enough. There's this midnight madness that goes on here. Anyone can challenge someone to a musical duel, someone officiates and a song is chosen randomly and people vote. It's our version of fight club."

"I used to belong to a fight club," Blaine said after he had finished laughing.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it helped with my anger actually, I'd forgotten. Maybe I should take that up again, the boxing I mean." He seemed to be thinking out loud so Kurt didn't comment.

"Do you feel a little better?" Kurt asked timidly.

"Yeah thanks Kurt," Blaine said, smiling. "I'm sorry."

"Don't ever be sorry, I'm just really glad I could help. I'm always here..." There seemed an awkward gap as if Kurt was about to say his name then realised he didn't know it. Blaine took his leap of faith.

"Blaine, my name's Blaine."

"Blaine," Kurt said, as if testing the sound of his name on his tongue. "Well Blaine, I'm always here whenever you need me."

"Thanks Kurt."

---

Kurt rings the following night and is instantly happier to know that Blaine is in the same coffee shop as yesterday, rather than the bridge. The weather is better and Blaine knows he won't have any awkward conversations with his father tonight. His dad had been up when he came in from his walk yesterday, soaked to the skin and dripping on the kitchen floor. The only explanation that Blaine had given was that he just needed a walk. Will had looked at his son for what felt the longest time and Blaine thought he saw a flicker of something cross his eyes before he fetched him a towel and made him a hot drink. Nothing was mentioned and Blaine went to bed in peace.

Blaine very rarely slept. He enjoyed the stillness, often watched the stars and sometimes felt rested but rarely got more than three or four hours of actual sleep. He found sleeping difficult unless he was so exhausted his brain didn't remember images that flitted across his memory. The more sleep he got, the more likely he was to have flashbacks or nightmares and he hated explaining those to his dad.

"Hi Blaine," Kurt said as soon as he answered, "How are you?"

"It's ok Kurt, I'm in the coffee shop," Blaine said.

"That's good, how are you today?"

"Not too bad, just really tired."

"Tired? Why tired?"

"I don't particularly sleep very well but that's a boring story. How has your day been?"

"Fantastic actually," Kurt said, unable to keep the happiness out of his voice. "I beat Rachel last night at midnight madness, although it was very close."

"That's really good Kurt," Blaine said laughing for the first time that day. In fact Blaine only seemed to laugh with Kurt when he thought about it. "What did you sing?"

"Bring Him Home from Les Mis," Kurt said, "Which was lucky, I know that score backwards."

"That's a great song," Blaine said quietly.

"Have you been singing recently?"

"Not so much at glee club but I've actually been practicing more at home. Just a few songs but it helps."

"That's great Blaine. Singing is the thing that saved me the most when I think about it," Kurt said. "Singing helps you to express pain, helps you to feel. It's definitely my favourite hobby and I'm really hoping I can make it my career."

"I'm sure you're fantastic Kurt, I mean to win the duel and to be accepted into NYADA you must be. I'd love to hear you sing one day."

"Yeah, I was just thinking that about you," Kurt said wistfully, "Is that what makes you really happy Blaine?"

Blaine paused for a moment and tried to think back to when he was last happy.

"It used to," he said quietly, "I don't really know what you mean by happy. How does singing make you feel?"

"Oh gosh how to describe that..." Kurt said, "I guess it makes me come alive, like there is nothing else that explains me as well as music does. To hear me sing is to see me, utterly and completely but at the same time it's a great way to really perform or act. I suppose I'd say it gives me butterflies, makes me soar but other times it makes me feel things and cry. It reflects all I want to say to the world. Sorry ramble over," Kurt said apologetically and he laughs to himself.

"Yeah I definitely used to feel that when I sang," Blaine said after a while as if his mind was elsewhere and he had remembered. "I think it mattered who I was with and now those people have gone, I don't know..."

"Do you mind me asking who's gone Blaine?"

Blaine paused for the longest time, knew he couldn't say but was unsure how to say that to the one person he had trusted with all of this.

"I think it would be better to share that another day," Blaine said quietly, "Sorry."

"No that's fine Blaine, I understand. I lost my mum when I was eight so I completely get it."

Blaine didn't know what to say. Of all the people he could have rung that night, he rang Kurt.

"I'm really sorry Kurt," he said after swallowing fiercely to hide the emotion in his voice but Kurt heard and although Blaine couldn't see him, his mouth opened, reflecting his own turmoil.

"Blaine?"

Blaine didn't answer, just swallowed again, desperate to regain the use of his voice but more tears started to fall and he couldn't stop them.

"Blaine? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, it happened so long ago. It was cancer. God I should just stop talking..."

"No," Blaine said suddenly in between sobs, "Don't stop talking," he said breathing deeply.

"Er, maybe if I tell you about her?" Blaine could only hum in response which Kurt took to mean a yes.

"She was lovely, what I can remember of her. Sometimes I worry that I've seen so many pictures of her that they've changed my memory, that I now see those instead of the real Elizabeth. That was her name. She was really beautiful, though I know I'm biased, especially as people say I look like her." Kurt chuckled slightly, and then continued, glad to hear Blaine's breathing starting to return to normal.

"She had strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes like saucers and I always thought she was like a Disney princess when I was younger. She taught me to cook and we used to bake cakes every Saturday. I made outfits with her for my parties or for school and she would sing beautifully. I always thought she was perfect, that there was nothing she couldn't do so when my dad told me she had a nasty disease called cancer, I assumed she would be able to get better, almost like she had magical powers." Kurt paused, remembering the first time he had hugged his mum after he was told it was cancer. "She told me that my hugs and kisses made her feel better so I did just that, until she had to go into hospital and she never came out." The tears had been falling as he spoke to Blaine but his voice had remained steady. He could hear the faint puff of Blaine's breathing now completely normal.

"I'm so sorry Kurt," Blaine said, tears evident in his own voice, "She sounds just like you."

"That's the nicest compliment anyone has ever said," Kurt said, smiling with happy memories and thinking how fantastic it was to have her as a mother, even if only for a while.

"You don't have to tell your own story Blaine," Kurt said after letting a comfortable silence fall between them. "I completely understand how hard it is, but I know what it is to deal with loss and whenever you're ready I'll be here."

"Thanks Kurt," Blaine said, tears forming in his eyes again but this time at the wonderful friend he had found purely by chance one night on a bridge.