Blaine was there again. It comforted him to know that no matter what happened at school during the day, this place still remained – the darkness, the bridge, the water – it was all as it was before.

He wasn't on the bridge this time, just a few metres away, sitting on a bench, wrapped securely in his winter coat and red scarf. He could see the people walking along the bridge, the traffic speeding across and still the water carried on its way. People were always so desperate to go to places, to do things; Blaine just wanted to be.

He had sat on the bench for half an hour before he got the courage to ring again. Blaine wondered how Kurt would ensure he would answer so he thought it only fair that he ring him at exactly nine o'clock but he watched his phone tick past at 9.01 and he had still not rung. It blinked at him indicating the passing of time and he brought up the number, watching it like he had watched the water moments before. He clicked call just as the phone ticked over to 9.02.

"Hello, you've reached the Trevor Project helpline, how can I help you?" he said and Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. It was him.

"Is that Kurt?" Blaine asked, just to check.

"Yes!" he said, almost shouting, "Is this the guy from yesterday?"

"Yeah, how many guys did you give your name to?" Blaine asked.

"Only you," he said sincerely. Blaine wasn't sure if they were supposed to be anonymous but he knew he didn't want to give his own name just yet.

"I'm really glad you called again," Kurt continued, "I've avoided all calls hoping you would ring."

Blaine nodded then realised Kurt couldn't see him and just hummed in acknowledgment.

"How do you feel today?" Kurt asked kindly and Blaine felt a little like a special case. He shouldn't be ringing, he wasn't mad, he shouldn't need saving.

"I'm ok," Blaine said, noncommittally.

"Where are you?"

"I'm sitting on a bench by the bridge."

"Good, what made you not go on the bridge today?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know really. I guess I know that if I keep going on the bridge that one day I won't have the courage to return home."

Kurt didn't know what to say to that. He had never got that close to death himself, though he had had those thoughts after the bullying he had received. The thoughts of his dad, his friends and his future kept him going. Maybe this guy had nothing, no hope.

"What made you ring?" Kurt asked.

Blaine considered the question for a while. The thought of telling someone close to him about how he was feeling was so abhorrent that his body shrank at the idea. There was something about telling a stranger that gave him control over the situation. They shouldn't judge, but if they did Blaine didn't have to speak to them again.

"I can't tell anyone at home, I have no friends here. It's easier speaking to a stranger."

"Why do you have no friends?" Kurt asked and Blaine suddenly wondered if he had a manual of questions to ask any caller.

"I just moved here from Ohio, school's hard."

"Ohio?" Kurt said excitedly, "I'm from Ohio! Whereabouts are you from? My dad still lives in Lima where I grew up."

"Westerville but we only lived there for a year before we moved again. My dad doesn't like to stay in one place for too long. I've only lived in New York for two weeks."

"Yeah it can be lonely here. I've only lived here for three months and luckily I live with a high school friend. It's hard to make new friends."

"I'm not sure if you're allowed to tell me," Blaine said hesitatingly, "But what do you do? You sound young."

"The rules are a bit vague here," Kurt said quietly, "I mean I'm not allowed to reveal information like my personal number or address but I'm allowed to talk to you. It doesn't have to be me just asking questions."

"Ok," Blaine said, quietly pleased that he could have a proper conversation.

"I'm a freshman at college, studying at NYADA and I volunteer here when I can. Are you at high school?"

"Yeah a senior," Blaine confirmed, "Isn't NYADA the performing arts school?"

"Yeah, it's really great actually. It took me a while to get in as I failed my first audition. The great Carmen Tibideaux thought I didn't show any emotional depth when I sang for her and my friend was at the winter showcase, which is a competition performance and she asked me to sing again. I have never been so nervous. I mean it was a room of excellent performers and tutors of distinction. I sang 'Being Alive' from..."

"Company, yeah I know it," Blaine interrupted.

"Oh great, you like musical theatre?" Kurt asked, suddenly excited.

"Yeah definitely, I mean it takes you out of yourself doesn't it?"

"Yeah it does," Kurt said, thinking that he had summed it up brilliantly. "I got in after that performance."

"You must have blown her away then," Blaine said kindly, "She sounds like a tough woman to please."

"Oh yeah she is," Kurt said laughing, "But it makes it all the more special that she accepted me the second time. I had to earn it, I had to work hard. I appreciate that lesson."

"Yeah I'd love to do that kind of thing when I grow up."

"Why don't you?" Kurt asked.

"Oh I'm not sure I'm good enough," Blaine said, a little surprised to be asked.

"Well practice is important as my best friend will tell you," Kurt said ruefully, "She knows entire songbooks of all the great artists and musicals. You never know until you try though."

Blaine felt a glimmer of hope at that. He had never tried, always flitting from one place to another, he had never known how to settle and just be. He knew his father wouldn't move him again, not while he was in his senior year and after that he could choose. Maybe he could go to NYADA too.

"Does your school have a Glee club?" Kurt asked. "Mine was great – I think it really was the best place at high school. I don't really know where I'd be if it wasn't for my friends there. They were completely mad, a whole mixed bunch of everything but we all loved to sing. It didn't matter that we were considered losers, we were losers together."

Blaine laughed a little. He didn't know about wanting to be a loser but he could definitely do with a place where he could belong. Maybe he would join after all.

"Were you bullied?" Blaine asked timidly, not sure if the question would be too personal. There was a long pause on the other end and Blaine was about to take back the question when Kurt spoke again.

"Yeah," Kurt said, "Quite badly at one point."

"I really hope you don't mind me asking but what did they do?"

"No I don't mind you asking," Kurt said, "It was the usual really – dumpster tosses, slushies in the face but there was this one guy that made it his mission to make my life a living hell. He would throw me against lockers, call me names, make me generally miserable."

"How did you survive it?" Blaine really wanted to know.

"I put up with it for ages, trying to hide it from my friends but eventually I confronted him. He had pushed me against the locker and I ran after him to the locker room. I was so scared, he kept shouting in my face and I felt sure he would punch me but he did something I was never expecting."

"What was it?" Blaine was now eager to find out.

"He kissed me," Kurt said as Blaine gasped slightly.

"Oh my gosh, that's dreadful," Blaine said.

"Yeah, I pushed him off and he ended up punching the locker in frustration. He never did it again but he threatened to kill me if I told anyone and I nearly left the school. My friends stood up for me, made it near impossible for him to hurt me in any way and eventually he left for another school. He didn't want to come out then, which I understand."

"Did you ever see him again?"

"Yeah but that's a whole other story," Kurt said laughing slightly, "Do you mind me asking if you're being bullied? Is that why school's tough?"

"No not really," Blaine said, "I mean I get the names that any new kid would get, they already seem to know that I'm gay. Maybe it's the bowties," Blaine said, laughing again without humour.

"Bowties are brilliant," Kurt said, a smile evident in his voice, "Everyone should wear bowties."

"That's what I think," Blaine said, returning the smile, "Thanks for listening Kurt. You're very good at your job."

"Oh that's ok, I've spoken about myself an awful lot actually," Kurt said, "Sorry about that."

"No I like hearing about your life. It gives me hope that this year might be easier than I think. Do you mind if I ring you tomorrow? I mean you don't have to, I just..."

"I'd really like that," Kurt interrupted, "I can ring you if you like. We're allowed to do that for regular callers here, to save them money."

"Yeah that'll be good," Blaine said and he gave his number to Kurt who said he would ring tomorrow at 9 o'clock.

"Thanks Kurt, I'll speak to you tomorrow," Blaine said.

"I look forward to it," Kurt said brightly, "Have a good night."

"You too," Blaine said sweetly and he hung up.

---

Blaine stayed for a while sitting on the bench until the noise of the traffic died down and the streets seemed less busy. He walked back to the apartment he shared with his dad and let himself in with his key, determined not to disturb his dad who might be sleeping. He opened the door to find him sitting by the kitchen table with a hot drink, clearly waiting for Blaine to return.

"Where have you been Blaine?" he asked as soon as his Blaine came in.

"Just for a walk, I didn't want to disturb you, to tell you where I was going," Blaine said, shrugging off his coat and going to make himself a hot drink too.

"Sorry I must have been asleep," his dad said apologetically.

"It's ok, work was probably tiring, I get it," Blaine said avoiding his gaze.

"How was school today?"

"It was ok," Blaine said shrugging his shoulders.

"Make any friends?"

"A few," he lied, "How was work?"

"Tough but it pays the bills." Blaine's father, Will being a teacher often found temporary work where he could and would move them from place to place. He was frequently offered permanent teaching contracts but would decline them, Blaine never really understanding why.

"Why was it tough?"

"Kids are brats and ungrateful, clearly don't want to learn about History but nevermind. What's your school like? Would you not want me to get a job there?"

"It's ok, I wouldn't mind especially as I'll only be there a year. The kids aren't particularly friendly but you know," Blaine said, shrugging his shoulders which he realised he did an awful lot lately.

"Where did you go on your walk?" Will said, changing the subject.

"Just by the river, watching the lights and that kind of thing."

"I think your mother would have liked it here," Will said looking out of the window at the blackness he found there. Blaine said nothing.

"I think I'll go to bed then," Will said, patting Blaine on the shoulder, who nodded politely and sat down to finish his drink. He looked through the window at the darkness and wondered if conversation would suddenly get easier or if he would always have to try so hard.

---

The following day at school, Blaine decided to take Kurt's advice and sign up for the school's glee club –the Melody Makers. He found himself finding the choir room after school that day and as he hesitated by the door someone spotted him and bounced forwards, ushering him in quickly.

"Are you Blaine?" she asked hurriedly as Blaine was practically pushed into a seat. He could only nod as she spoke again.

"I'm Robyn," she said, sticking out her hand, "Spelt with a y."

"Hi I'm Blaine," he said, shaking her hand and he was quickly introduced to the rest of the glee club. He could remember a handful of names – Bobby (a girl who definitely didn't like to be called Roberta), Zachary, Brad, Natalie and there were others but they were just a crowd to Blaine. They were clearly unused to new people enlisting and were protective of their little community. Blaine wondered if he was joining where he wasn't wanted but their teacher soon suggested he watch their newest performance and see what they were about.

They did a fantastic and upbeat performance of Jai Ho which Blaine wasn't expecting. Bobby took the lead and was as fierce as she had appeared earlier. Blaine was impressed. The group melded together well and knew their moves backwards. They had clearly rehearsed hard and Blaine thought he might have a lot of fun in this group. After they finished, Blaine was invited to show them something he had prepared but was given the option to sing the following day if he preferred. He explained he already had thought about his song choice, to which they looked impressed and he stood in front of them after quickly speaking to the guy on the piano.

He knew his performance wasn't going to be spectacular, he had no props or costume but he decided to bring a little truth and see where it got him.

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Sing to me

Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me

I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world

There is a better world
Well, there must be

There was a sort of stunned silence as the man at the piano finished. They hardly knew Blaine and where he had come from but the look on Robyn's face showed she thought he had come from somewhere special, so in awe of his voice and song choice she appeared to be. After a while there was applause but it was awkward as if they feared it would ruin the moment. The teacher, who suddenly introduced himself as Mr Bennet, clapped Blaine on the back and welcomed him to the group. Blaine, still a little dazed from his performance sat next to Robyn as others performed their chosen solos. Blaine turned to find Robyn looking at him curiously but with tears in her eyes and he just smiled awkwardly. It was only when the glee club ended that she caught up with Blaine after he had walked out and touched his arm gently.

"That was beautiful," she said so sadly that Blaine felt bad for making her upset. "Where have you come from?"

"Westerville, in Ohio."

"No I mean... no never mind," she said, waving her hand to indicate she knew she was speaking nonsense. "Fancy a coffee?"

"Yeah sure," he said surprised, his eyebrows raised, "I don't know many places around here."

"Well I do," she said smiling widely and placing her arm in his, she walked them to the school car park.

---

It was while Blaine was walking to the river that Kurt rang at exactly 9.00.

"Kurt?"

"Yes, do you mind me ringing?" Kurt said, sounding worried he might be a nuisance.

"Oh no I was looking forward to it," Blaine said, "Unless of course you don't want to ring, I mean...."

"Of course I want to ring," Kurt said laughing, "How was your day?"

"Actually really good thanks," Blaine said, "I joined the glee club like you suggested, made a new friend."

"That's great Blaine," Kurt said excitedly, "What did you sing?"

"Asleep by The Smiths," Blaine said.

"Oh," Kurt said, worried by the song choice, "That's a good song."

"I know it's a bit depressing," Blaine said smiling, "But it's where I'm at I guess and I wanted to be honest with them. They seemed to be impressed anyway and let me join."

"Well that's good. You must be amazing; I'd love to hear you sing one day."

"Oh I don't know," Blaine said, rubbing the back of his neck as he arrived at his familiar bench.

"You must be good if they accepted you."

"I don't think so," Blaine carried on, "I'm nothing special."

"Why do you insist on saying that?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Because I know it's the truth and its rather irritating that you keep insisting on telling me I'm something I'm not. You don't know me, I'm nothing." There was clear anger in Blaine's voice and Kurt didn't know how to proceed.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said quietly, "I know I don't know you very well, I just can't bear anyone thinking they're not beautiful in some way."

"You really believe that everyone is beautiful?" Blaine whispered, looking at the clear sky above him from his position by the river, sitting on the bench.

"Everyone has beauty, even you," Kurt said simply and Blaine continued to look at the stars shining brightly against the dark sky and felt tears spring to his eyes.