Trusting In Your Name
beingalive
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Trusting In Your Name: Chapter 7


T - Words: 2,859 - Last Updated: Sep 02, 2014
Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/? - Created: Jun 13, 2014 - Updated: Jun 13, 2014
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Author's Notes:

A/N: Thanks to my lovely beta H T Elia as always. Two chapters and an epilogue to go!

Sebastian walked into the apartment during the early hours, quietly as soon as he realised there were two sleeping bodies on the couch. He crept over, peering at the peaceful bodies as they lay tangled together. Kurts head was resting on Blaines chest as Blaine looped his arm around Kurt protectively. Sebastian didnt make a habit of watching Kurt in his sleep, but even he had to admit that he looked at peace, like he belonged there. That was until Kurt opened one eye sleepily and saw Sebastian.

"Fuck!" he screamed, sitting bolt upright, causing Blaine to wince as an elbow hit him in the chest. "Sebastian you scared the crap out of me, what are you doing?"

"Sorry, sorry," Sebastian said, holding his hands up in surrender, "I just came in."

"And decided to creepily watch us as we sleep?" Kurt screeched.

"Just for a second," Sebastian said defensively, "I was going to bed."

Blaine and Kurt sat up fully, now apart, Kurt taking in Sebastians dishevelled appearance.

"A good night?" Kurt asked, an eyebrow rose as he noticed Sebastians ripped shirt.

Sebastian smirked and winked. "Of course."

"Not your soulmate?" Kurt asked as Sebastians cocky expression faltered. He took a seat apart from the sofa and shook his head.

"They never are, thats half the fun," he said, trying for nonchalance, but Kurt knew better.

Blaine looked him over silently. He recognised the look of cocky confidence from his roommate Mark; determined to play the part of Lothario all the while desperately wanting to be loved and to find the one. Sebastian fooled no one.

"Im going to make a hot drink, anyone want one?" Kurt asked as he stood and wandered to the kitchen.

"Yeah, a hot chocolate would be nice," Blaine said politely, still eyeing Sebastian who agreed with Blaine.

"So you stayed over?" Sebastian asked Blaine as soon as Kurt was tucked away in the kitchen.

"Yeah, we didnt mean to sleep on the couch, but were going to spend the day together," Blaine said smiling slightly at the thought.

"Nice, Kurt deserves a good day."

Blaine looked over at Kurt, who was humming as he warmed the milk. He had heard reference to many things that had hurt his best friend since hed left. Blaine felt a heat rise in his chest in anger, for which he hadnt been there to help, or stop what had happened to him. Sebastian recognised the look and took pity.

"Ask him about David when you get the chance."

"David?" Blaine asked with dread. "A boyfriend?"

"No, David Karofsky." And as Blaines eyes widened in recognition, Sebastian said no more. Blaine wondered what the bully had done and stared at Kurt, who looked so happy in his domestic situation.

"Youre lucky," Sebastian said after a while as Blaine watched Kurt. "To have met your soulmate I mean. There are many people in the world just desperate to meet their one true love."

Blaines eyes returned to Sebastian and all the feelings of jealousy seemed to dissipate as he breathed out.

"Like you?" Blaine asked quietly and Sebastian smiled, already warming to the guy that Kurt would have to call his own.

"Yeah, like me."

"You dont have to fool around you know," Blaine said. "I dont think youll meet your soulmate that way."

"How do you know? I could meet him any number of ways. Im not going to wait around for my soulmate to find me. I intend to meet as many guys as possible in order to rule out the chaff from the wheat."

Blaine nodded, there was no reasoning with Sebastian.

"I just know I couldnt bear the disappointment every time," Blaine said, looking down at his hands.

"Well thats because you knew your soulmate from the start," Sebastian said, getting louder. "You left him, decided to meet him when you were ready."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt said, walking closer, holding drinks. His eyes darted from one to the other, watching their tense poses and Sebastians clenched jaw.

"Soulmates," Blaine said weakly. "Sebastian wants to beat the odds in order to find him."

"I just know that if I knew my soulmate like you did, I would do anything to find him. I would never have left. You may think Im pathetic, but thats all anyone wants to do in this dark and lonely city. Just find their soulmate."

Sebastian grabbed his hot chocolate and stormed off.

"Ill drink this in my room."

"Bas…"

He didnt turn back.

"I shouldnt have left," Blaine whispered as soon as the silence got to be a bit too much. Kurt looked at him sharply.

"Youve said youre sorry. I understand why it happened, just drop it."

Blaine looked at him in surprise and then smiled.

"What?" Kurt asked, perplexed at the change in expression.

"Just something I remembered," Blaine said. Kurt waited until Blaine finished. "Whenever someone criticised a fashion choice, or hurt someone you loved, you would attack verbally, give them all you have. I used to love that about you. Nothing ever seemed to get you down for long, I always wished I could be like that."

Kurt couldnt remember a time when someone had described him so well. He couldnt say anything for a while.

"And you dont have that fight anymore?" Kurt asked quietly.

"No its been a while since I cared about anything or anyone that much."

"Sebastians my best friend, Ive known him for a long time now and I know that he hides his true colours. He wouldnt want to give it away too much but he really just wants to be loved."

"I get that now. While you were making drinks he mentioned David Karofsky."

Blaine left the words hanging in the air and Kurt imagined the words bouncing off the walls.

"He did?"

"Yeah, did something happen after I left?"

"Many things happened after you left."

Blaine couldnt argue with that, so he waited.

"Too many things to discuss now," Kurt continued.

"But he hurt you?"

"Yeah without meaning to, I guess," Kurt began. He sighed, the inevitable discussion happening now anyway.

"The bullying continued after you left and in many ways it became worse. I no longer had my morning coffee and smile to make things better. No one seemed to notice that the pushes and shoves were becoming more frequent. No one noticed the sly and quiet comments in my ears or the menacing threats. I suffered alone."

Blaine started to apologise and Kurt stopped him.

"No, Blaine Im not telling you these things to make you feel guilty, I just need to be honest. I want to tell you how it really was."

Blaine closed his mouth and nodded in acceptance, allowing him to continue.

"Eventually, I called him out on the bullying. Something snapped inside and I followed him to the locker room. We shouted it out and then he kissed me."

"The hate-kiss you mentioned yesterday?"

Kurt nodded. "He felt threatened by me, I guess, but after that the threats became harder to live with. He would whisper in my ear, threaten to kill me if I told anyone."

"Please tell me you told someone," Blaine said, coming forward in his seat.

"Not really, but after a while he became a sadder figure around school. When it came to our junior prom, he was voted prom king and by the secret ballot it was announced by Figgins that I was prom queen."

"Queen?" Blaine asked, a sick feeling in his stomach.

Kurt nodded, closing his eyes. "I didnt accept my crown and I will always regret that. I ran away and let the bullies win."

"Kurt…"

"You know, I always wondered what would have happened if wed gone to prom together, just like the Sadie Hawkins dance. I think after the attack I thought theyd won, but if wed gone together maybe we could have shown that they didnt, that they couldnt stop what we had. We could have beaten them together."

"I would have loved to have done that," Blaine said, his eyes shining with pride.

"I saw David again at a bar later on. He knew his soulmate was a guy when he hate-kissed me and he explained a little of what was going on in his mind. I guess he had a lot to get used to."

"Youre braver than I would have been, much more forgiving," Blaine said, clutching Kurts hand.

"It doesnt matter now," Kurt said, "I havent seen him since, I dont really know if he ever met his soulmate or not, but wherever he is I hope hes dealt with it all."

"How was your dad when you came out? I know you worried about it."

"He was great actually, always has been. I dont know why I worried," Kurt said smiling.

"Great," Blaine beamed. "I always knew he would be. Youre lucky."

"You dont think your parents accepted it?"

"No all their actions show me otherwise," Blaine said bitterly. "It would have been a lot easier for them if I loved a girl."

"Do they know were soulmates?"

"No and I dont want to tell them," Blaine said angrily. "They dont get to share my happiness, they tried to ruin it."

Blaine got up, shoving a cushion on the floor in the process. He stood by the window looking out at the world below.

There was something about that tense back, those squared shoulders that made Kurt realise that Blaine had been struggling with this issue for a while. He watched as Blaine stood, his arms folded over his chest, staring at the street and saying nothing. Blaine looked hard and fierce standing there, but Kurt suspected he held too much on his shoulders, refused to give in, wanting to stand tall. A warmth spread through Kurts chest at the sight. He found himself walking towards Blaine, the tred of his feet soft on the carpet. He wove his arms around Blaines waist, and although Blaine tensed at the touch, as soon as he realised what was happening, he relaxed. He sunk slightly backwards, cocooning himself in Kurts arms.

"Im so glad we found each other again," Kurt whispered near Blaines ear, the warmth making Blaine shiver. "It doesnt matter what went on before. It made me fight, it made me stronger and when I found you, it was everything."

Blaine closed his eyes, felt his hardened heart soften in his soulmates embrace. He sighed as Kurt brought him closer.

"Dont worry about your parents, dont let them anger or upset you. They dont understand what we have and how well claw it back, because a love like this is everything. If we dont have this, we have nothing."
Blaine nodded slightly, feeling his breath hitch at the beautiful words coming out of Kurts mouth. He felt like he might melt.

"Lets go to bed," Kurt whispered and Blaine turned quickly in surprise, his eyes wide and questioning when he looked at Kurt.

"I mean to sleep," Kurt said laughing, "Im not quite there yet."

Blaine nodded, his eyes returning to their normal size, his mind realising his mistake.

"You mean a lot to me though, Blaine," Kurt said quietly, taking Blaines hand, which felt further away. "I feel like were inching closer."

There was the pull. Blaines hand was clutched in Kurts, held between them by their chests. Eyes locked, Blaine eventually let his drift closed as Kurts flickered to Blaines lips. It was safe here and Kurt placed his lips on Blaines waiting lips.

It was like the world stopped spinning, just for a moment and all feeling centred on the boys by the window. They eased into the kiss, but Kurt knew that Blaine tasted like home and he had never wanted anything more. It deepened, became soft and gentle as their tongues met. Kurt tasted like the hot chocolate hed drank earlier, sweet and light, but Blaine realised it didnt feel odd. Their friendship may have changed and halted before, but now everything was as it should be and their bodies knew it.

They parted after a while, eyes still closed, time taken to relish the thought, to keep the memory of lips pressed imprinted forever.

"Youre everything," Blaine whispered as Kurts eyes opened. He took in Blaines blissful expression as Blaine opened his eyes to see a wide smile.

"Lets go to bed," Kurt whispered, keeping Blaines hand in his and leading him away from the window. In silence, Kurt undressed Blaine, who stood mesmerised at Kurts boldness. He watched as Kurt undid his buttons and removed his belt. It suddenly felt like everything that had gone on before was being taken off and Blaine wasnt to be burdened by it anymore. He wasnt nervous as Kurt stripped him to his underwear; he was free.

"Youre gorgeous," Kurt whispered. "I never really imagined when we were growing up that this would happen, but it feels right. I dont need to worry. We belong."

Blaine could only nod and keep his eyes open in order to catch every single moment. It came to be his turn to undress Kurt and he did it slowly, careful to catch every single inch of skin, stroke along Kurts firm muscles and watch his soulmate shiver in the cool air. Kurt let his eyes close and his skin feel every single movement of Blaines fingers.

Nothing was said as they walked to bed and got under the covers. Fingers roamed, eyes watched, lips touched but nothing was said.

Actions spoke far louder than any words.


The following day when Blaine and Kurt walked to favourite parks, visited old familiar coffee places and talked until throats were dry, Sebastian lay in front of the television. The couch was starting to form his shape, his blanket keeping him cocooned. His phone beeped.

To: Sebastian [4.15pm]

I never did get your name, just managed to found your number from a bartender ;)


To: Anon [4.15pm]

Who is this?


To: Sebastian [4.16pm]

The guy from last night. I had hoped my face was memorable, even other parts ;)


Sebastian felt a little sick at the idea that this guy knew his number, now a stark reminder that he had allowed another quick fuck to get the better of him. A ghost of a touch and images of a face in obvious pleasure came back to haunt him and he closed his eyes. He was never meant to be for more than one night.

To: Anon [4.18pm]

I remember… Who are you?


To: Sebastian [4.19pm]

That depends on whether I can see you again.


Sebastians heart beat faster. It had been an enjoyable time, had lasted a little longer than most, but as he left the evening behind, he was well aware that he was mistaken. This guy couldnt satisfy any of his souls real desires.

To: Anon [4.21pm]

I dont think thats a good idea. Unless your name is Gabriel Clarke?


To: Sebastian [4.22pm]

Nope. Sorry :(


To: Anon [4.22pm]

Why do you need to know then? Surely it was a one-time thing.


To: Sebastian [4.23pm]

Who said?


Sebastian felt the soft sofa underneath his skin, anything to remain in the real world. Surely this guy just wanted to have his cake and eat it too, he thought. Soulmates were for life, not casual flings.

But he looked around the apartment he shared with Kurt. It was empty and hed never felt more alone. It would only get worse; Blaine and Kurt were bound to move in together soon and where would that leave Sebastian? Who knew when he would meet his soulmate and this guy seemed to be in the same predicament. What would be the harm?

To: Anon [4.28pm]

Friends? Casual fuck buddies? What do you want from me?


To: Sebastian [4.29pm]

All of the above? Maybe we should have coffee.


That sounded like a good idea to Sebastian, get to know the guy, really work out what he wanted.

To: Anon [4.31pm]

Do I get to know the name of the guy Im meeting for coffee?


To: Sebastian [4.31pm]

I hope you wont use the information against me?

To: Anon [4.32pm]

Of course not ;)


To: Sebastian [4.33pm]

Mark Foreman. Yours?


To: Mark [4.34pm]

Lets save something for our coffee date Mark Foreman…


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