It was easier for Blaine to imagine a future for him and Kurt as he did everything for him, helped him in any way he could and was there by his side to touch and squeeze. After dinner, everyone completely full and most resting on the sofas, Kurt was lying back, his eyes closed and Blaine continued to watch him. When Kurt opened his eyes, he found Blaine looking, his eyes searching Kurt's face and biting his lower lip. The honey in his eyes made Kurt want to melt but he looked so lost that Kurt was instantly worried.

"What's wrong Blaine?" Kurt whispered.

Blaine shook his head slowly, biting his lip a little harder and Kurt glanced outside to find El and Nicola in the alcove smoking quietly.

"Let's go outside," Kurt said, "Get a blanket to lie on."

Blaine followed, spread the blanket and allowed Kurt to lie down carefully, his arms still encased so Blaine propped him up with pillows he had stolen from the sofa. His arms forced by his side and looking up expectantly, Kurt looked beautiful and helpless, the sun setting and causing a glow to appear on his face.

"Gosh you really are beautiful Kurt," Blaine whispered and Kurt smiled.

"You can't deflect like that," Kurt said laughing, "Tell me what's wrong."

"I meant that!" Blaine said indignantly, "You are beautiful and I look at you sometimes and," he shrugged, so beyond words that he hoped that Kurt would understand.

"I so wish I could touch you right now," Kurt whispered, closing his eyes in frustration. "So what is it?" he said, trying to change the subject to contain his arousal. Blaine started stroking the little skin that showed on his neck as he spoke.

"It was just something that Nicola said the other day, about trusting and telling people and I felt bad that I hadn't trusted you or told you how much you mean to me."

"There's more," Kurt said gently.

"Was Adam your first boyfriend?" Blaine asked and Kurt was a little surprised about the change of topic.

"First at college but I met someone briefly in my high school senior year. He sent me messages and we went on a few dates. It was nice to finally meet someone that was out and proud. I thought I wouldn't have that in high school but Chandler was sweet and complimentary. It fizzled out but we're still friends, still meet occasionally in New York." Blaine nodded.

"How did he make you feel?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow in question but answered anyway.

"Special, attractive," Kurt said, "He used to send me these dreadful puns about my ass and smile but they made me laugh and the attention was nice."

Blaine nodded and looked serious and Kurt's head had been buzzing with the 'why' of this conversation when he suddenly thought of Sebastian.

"That's why you let Sebastian do what he did," Kurt said, not really a question and Blaine closed his eyes in pain at what he had done and nodded.

"But why Blaine?" Kurt asked kindly, "You're worth way more than that. You could have anyone."

Blaine looked up in surprise, his mouth open.

"But that's just it," he said, sitting up in earnest, "I didn't think I was. You are the first guy that has been interested properly and I thought maybe it was a fluke that I was the only gay guy in here, maybe on the outside that would change. When Sebastian was interested I didn't really believe it but also wanted to test it all."

"To see if I really liked you?" Kurt asked a little hurt.

"No not really," Blaine said, "To see if we could go through anything and still make it. I know the outside will be tough and I couldn't really believe that anyone would be that interested. I wasn't expecting Sebastian to be so predatory." Kurt laughed a little.

"I don't get why your self-esteem is so low Blaine," Kurt said, "Have you seen you? You must be getting attention all the time at college."

Blaine thought about it for a moment.

"I guess I loved my music more than that so I rarely went out and when I did it was a little bit of a shock. One guy I'd seen around campus kept asking me on dates and when I eventually agreed we slept together on the first date and I never saw him again."

Kurt gasped a little and Blaine smiled at Kurt's kindness.

"Well I saw him around campus," Blaine said, "I mean he was still there at college but the strange thing was he never knew what he'd done. I mean he just thought it was ok to act like that. He hinted that we could do it again if I wanted but a relationship was never on his agenda and I knew if I mentioned it he would think I was crazy."

"It's not crazy to search for love Blaine," Kurt said, struggling to sit up without the use of his arms. Blaine helped.

"I know," Blaine said, "I guess I needed to know that that wasn't all I was capable of, that love isn't just about sex."

"And now?" Kurt asked.

"I know love can't be found there, that it takes more than that and even in the most crazy of places, you can find love." He looked around, glancing at the cameras and El and Nicola in the alcove as well as Faye and Bradley on the sofa. Love and friendship abounded here which made him smile.

---

Blaine had normally waited for Kurt inside the bedroom while he embarked on his rigorous skin sloughing regimen but without any hands Blaine had to help him. Waiting until everyone was completely finished in the bathroom, Blaine led him there and Kurt talked him through what needed to be applied and when. Kurt sat on the edge of the massive bathtub and closed his eyes as Blaine first cleaned his face with the cleanser, rubbing in circular motions with cotton wool. He let out a sigh as Blaine massaged him clean, his fingers soothing and Blaine took even longer so he could enjoy this for as long as possible. Blaine removed the cleanser and applied a toner. He massaged Kurt's favourite moisturiser into his cheeks and let his thumbs travel around the delicate skin under his eyes. Soon his fingers massaged around his ears and under his jaw and there was a little spot under Kurt's ear that as soon as it was touched caused Kurt to moan a little too loudly and open his eyes quickly, a little startled.

"Sorry," Kurt said, blushing furiously, "I must be a little sensitive there."

Blaine's eyes went a shade darker.

"You like it?" Blaine whispered, his fingers continuing to massage near his ears, making sure they were moisturised too.

Kurt closed his eyes and gasped.

"Blaine...." He moaned quietly, "You can't do that."

"But your face Kurt," he said, a moan in his own voice, "The sounds you make..."

He replaced his fingers with his lips and kissed slowly, humming in response, causing the vibrations to travel down Kurt's neck and drive him a little wild. He parted from him, desperately trying to calm his breathing. His eyes dark, his chest rising quickly, Blaine had never seen Kurt look so beautifully sexy. Kurt thought for a second then threw caution to the wind and begged Blaine to rip his microphone off.

"Kurt, you can't do that...." Blaine warned.

"Please Blaine," Kurt whined and Blaine did as he was told, discarding both microphones on the bathroom floor and dragging Kurt into the cubicle behind him. Blaine's eyes were wide as Kurt closed the door with his back and pressed against it so he was facing Blaine.

"I don't care Blaine," Kurt said, "What can they really do?"

Blaine would later blame the desperate hormones coursing through his body but he surged forward catching Kurt's lips in a fierce kiss against the door. Kurt moaned loudly because he could.

"You don't even know..." Blaine moaned by Kurt's ear as Kurt whimpered. He was so hard. "You don't even know how gorgeous you are, how perfect and you're mine," he growled and it caused Kurt to lurch forward, his cock pressed hard against Blaine's thigh.

"Yours," Kurt said loudly and Blaine furiously sucked on the little skin that was showing above the strait jacket to prove it. He aligned himself with Kurt and they rutted hard for a few minutes until their moans got louder.

"Fuck!" Kurt shouted, "I'm gonna come and I-" He gasped as he released, his eyes shut in pleasure and Blaine watched as he rutted harder and he came with a shout too.

Kurt sank back, leaning heavily on the door to avoid falling to the floor. He panted until he got his breath back.

"Fuck that was good," Blaine said, their breath slowly returning to normal, the mark on Kurt's neck now a furious red colour.

"I feel gross now though," Kurt said laughing and pulling a face. "I can't clean myself up."

"I'll have to do it for you," Blaine said winking and he lowered his hands to unbutton Kurt's pants and undo his zip. He lowered his pants and underwear so Kurt was completely naked apart from the strait jacket.

"I find this a little too sexy," Blaine said smirking, "Do you think I have a kink for mad men?"

"I hope not," Kurt said laughing, "Though if you do, just insult my outfits or remove my moisturiser and you'll find yourself faced with one!"

Blaine chuckled as he fell to his knees and at the sight alone, Kurt's cock tried to spring back to life. Kurt closed his eyes.

"What do you plan on doing?" Kurt asked, his voice a tremble on his lips.

"We don't have any water here," Blaine said, making a show of looking around their cramped surroundings, "I guess I'll have to lick you clean myself." He attempted to pretend that this was a hardship but his darkened eyes that gazed up at Kurt, with his eyelashes fanning his face beautifully, his mouth in an innocent bow, he failed. Kurt moaned again.

"Fuck you look so good down there," Kurt said, his back hitting the door again as if it might tether him.

"I think I was born to suck cock," Blaine whispered, his lips now ghosting along the soft skin of Kurt, who was getting harder as he spoke.

Kurt moaned loudly.

"I need to clean you up," Blaine said and he gently licked all around Kurt's cock, sucking his balls and any mess he could find, lovingly, teasingly slowly and he hummed as if this was all in a day's work and his greatest vocation. Blaine sat back and admired his work.

"Blaine...." Kurt whined as he looked down, "Don't stop, fuck never stop."

Blaine smirked.

"Your wish is my command my good sir." And he took Kurt fully into his mouth, enjoying the sounds coming out of Kurt's mouth. He sucked like he was indeed born for this very job and Kurt moaned in response. Blaine quickly undid his pants with his other hand and grabbed himself roughly.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna come again," Kurt moaned, so desperate to keep this going and chase the feeling but he came with a shout, his body finally failing in keeping him fully upright. His legs gave way slightly but Blaine propped him up and Kurt noticed that Blaine was still hard.

"Let me change that situation," Kurt said nodding to his obvious problem and Blaine went against the door and Kurt knelt down.

"Oh god, Kurt," he moaned, "I won't last, I want to last."

Kurt kept changing the rhythm of his tongue, teasing, licking slowly, then fully taking him and swirling his tongue over the head. He went a little lower, lifted Blaine's legs so they rested on his shoulders and he licked his hole, causing Blaine to shout loudly and without further touch, he came with his breath hitching in pleasure.

"Fuck," he said, as soon as his feet were fully on the ground. "Imagine what that's going to be like when you have your hands free."

Kurt laughed.

"I thought I wanted to touch you before but that was beautiful torture."

Blaine dressed Kurt and himself again and led them out of the bathroom. He had placed their microphones back on but there was silence from the room when they returned, which was ominous. Everyone had apparently gone to bed so Blaine poured them drinks and just as they were sat in the sofa area, about to start a conversation, the voice spoke.

"Will Blaine and Kurt please come into the diary room?"