"Are we going to have the conversation?" Burt asked at dinner, the table suddenly silent as Carole and Burt looked to Kurt for answers. There was a startled look then realisation and Kurt returned to eating his vegetables.

"Kurt…"

"No Dad, we're not having the conversation."

"We agreed a week, it's been 10 days. You need to go back to New York."

"No I don't," Kurt said quietly but with a leading look from Burt, his shoulders sagged. He would need to have this conversation.

"I want to stay."

"But what about college, New York, your dreams?"

"What about them? They'll be there when I return."

"You know you need to think about this, Kurt. I'm not saying anything you didn't know. You and Blaine aren't together anymore, you don't owe him anything."

"You think that's what this is?" Kurt said, annoyed. "I don't care that we're not together, he needs me and I'll be there."

"For how long? Until he has the all-clear? Until the chemotherapy is over? Blaine hasn't asked you to stay has he?"

"No he doesn't need to, I know he wants me to stay. He would never ask."

"He has his parents, his brother. I'm not saying don't be there for him, but he doesn't need you to stay, he doesn't need you to be at home to nurse him. That's what family are for."

Kurt thought it through. Blaine hadn't asked, it was just a look every so often, a widening of the eyes, a desperate clutch of a hand that spoke to Kurt far more than actual words. Blaine begged Kurt to stay, he just didn't say it out loud.

"I couldn't go back to New York knowing that he was going through that, Dad," Kurt whispered.

Burt's face softened, his eyes kind.

"Then you need to think about what you want to do, what Blaine wants you to do, because this is a big decision bud."

"I know," he whispered, his eyes lowered, a threat of tears at the thought of the future.

"And we'll be right here when you make it."

Clarissa went with Blaine the following day to get his hearing checked as well as his lung capacity measured. The tests allowed the doctors to assess the extent of the damage afterwards, to check if chemotherapy had left scar tissue in his lungs or tinnitus would affect his ears permanently. It was routine only and he was out before lunch and greeted by Kurt at the door to his house when he returned.

"You're here," Blaine said simply, his smile all Kurt needed to know that he was missed.

"That I am," Kurt said and he led Blaine into his own house as Clarissa made tea. "Did you miss me?" he said jokingly as he put the television on and curled up on the sofa. Blaine walked over to join him slowly, thinking that Kurt had never looked so at ease in his house, even when they were together.

"More than you'll ever know," Blaine said quietly after a while, his eyes fixed on the screen in front of him. Kurt turned his face towards the perfect profile sitting next to him.

"You did?"

"Yeah," Blaine said, his voice trembling and he still refused to look at Kurt, though he could feel his eyes on him. His mom had been great, trying to distract him with talk of distant relatives and their troubles and waffling on about his father's work but it hadn't been the same. He knew that Kurt would just sit there occasionally and let him be, or he would talk on about something inconsequential or scandalous in the magazines and all would be right with the world. It had only been a morning but it had taken that appointment for Blaine to realise that he needed Kurt to get him through this but he couldn't ask, not when they weren't together, not when he had no right to ask him to halt his dream of New York and NYADA. So Blaine sat in silence.

"Ok," Kurt said simply but he nestled his head on Blaine's shoulder as they watched a recording of Project Runway, his decision made.

"Are you sure?" Burt asked.

"Yeah, this way I can start again when Blaine joins and we can go together." Burt recognised the set jaw and the determined expression. He knew his mind had been made.

"What happens now?"

"Now we go to the sperm bank," Kurt said, his expression a grimace.

"Thanks for coming with me," Blaine said, his eyes kind as they sat in the waiting room.

"No problem," Kurt said looking around at the various people there. There was a couple in the corner, young, perhaps in the same situation as Blaine. A boy younger than Blaine sat with his mom who was filling in his form as the boy's face went red at what he was about to do.

"I can't really imagine Clarissa or Richard in a place like this," Kurt said, allowing a small smile.

"Can you imagine?" Blaine said, closing his eyes and shuddering. Kurt chuckled.

Both Blaine and Kurt were taken into a side room to fill in the paper work. A male nurse whose badge read 'Anthony' knew the gravity of the situation, was young himself and knew what he was about to ask but he was sensitive and asked the questions carefully.

"We'll keep your samples for the next ten years and will notify you of any changes to the location of the sample. For example, if we move it to another hospital for temporary storage. If you wish to use the sample or you would like us to destroy it you will have to ask in person and give identification." Blaine signed the forms as instructed, understanding the terms.

"This is a little more delicate," Anthony said, indicating another form. "I need to ask if something happens to you, would you want anyone else to use your sample."

Kurt hadn't even thought of that and his mind went to so many different places in the space of a few seconds. Blaine looked to him briefly, it suddenly obvious that he was going through the same emotions.

"I'd like Kurt to have the right to use it if he wishes," Blaine said directly to Anthony, his expression steely and determined.

"Ok," the nurse said, "Are you together?"

"No," Blaine said sadly, "But I want him to have the choice and the right."

"Ok," Anthony said again. "Kurt you will need to sign this form. If something happens to Blaine you retain all rights of the sample and can do as you wish."

Kurt nodded at the gravity of the situation as he prepared to sign. With one last reassuring look towards Blaine, who nodded in agreement, Kurt signed the form. They returned to the waiting room and sat in silence, knowing that it would be impossible to have the conversation that was needed in the echoic room.

Blaine was soon led into a room with a cup and a selection of magazines, not at all catering to his desires or preferences so he went to his fail safe: Kurt. He felt dirty doing it, knowing that his once upon a time lover was in the waiting room being caring and considerate but he couldn't help it. The place was devoid of atmosphere, white bare walls, plastic chair and a small table so he closed his eyes and remembered. Soft skin, blue piercing eyes full of desire and a touch so gentle and loving that it made his own skin tingle with arousal and warmth. As he felt himself harden at the thought of Kurt, of the remembered sounds he made, he stroked himself quickly. He came soon afterwards, no finesse as he reached for the cup with clumsy hands but a single gasped out word fell from his lips. He sorted himself out; discreetly handed the sample to the lab technician like instructed and came out to the waiting area to see Kurt's familiar face. Blaine blushed at what he had just imagined and couldn't quite meet Kurt's eye as they left the building.

"Was it difficult?" Kurt asked quietly in the car on the way home. Kurt resolutely looked ahead as he drove onwards and Blaine was thankful for that.

"Not as bad as I thought," Blaine said quietly and Kurt left it at that.

It was as Kurt was preparing to leave later that night after Clarissa had cooked dinner once again, that he couldn't help but ask what had been plaguing his mind ever since the conversation with Anthony.

"What would you want me to do? With the sample I mean?" Kurt asked, the thought so big and not something he wanted to focus on.

"It's up to you," Blaine said, "I want you to have the right, no one else and if it comes to it, you can destroy it or use it as you wish."

Kurt left, the enormity of the whole situation just too much for him to discuss with Blaine and he cried all the way home, his blurry vision causing him finally to stop at the side of the road and pull himself together.

It was the following week when Blaine was waiting for chemotherapy to start and having lunch with Kurt when NYADA was finally mentioned. Kurt had got biscotti and lattes as well as muffins, determined to feed Blaine up for what he knew would be a gruelling time for his body. He came over all eager and plonked their drinks and plates down after a few trips. Blaine was silent as he watched Kurt take one then a second trip to the counter, saw his face alight in a smile that he was doing something useful. Kurt took a tentative sip before he realised Blaine was staring.

"What? Have I got something on my face?"

Blaine shook his head and smiled sadly.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked.

Blaine considered what he was to say, took a deep breath before mentioning something he had deliberately ignored for the last two weeks.

"What about NYADA Kurt?"

Kurt's face fell.

"Oh."
"Yes, oh."

"I didn't think we needed to have this conversation." He looked around the coffee shop as if hoping for an escape.

"Are you going back?" Blaine asked.

"Not this year," Kurt said simply and although Blaine had been expecting it he still looked a little shocked.

"Why would you do that Kurt? NYADA is so important, New York is your dream."

"It'll still be there when we go together," Kurt said simply, "I've just deferred a year and you said yourself you wanted to apply."

"But Kurt your time is now, you should return instead of staying here with me. I'll be fine."

"No Blaine," Kurt said, closing his eyes against that possible future and shaking his head. "I'm staying."

"And I don't get a say?"

Kurt opened his eyes wide.

"Of course you do, I just thought you'd want me to stay," he said finishing quietly. Blaine's warm brown eyes looked suddenly tired and he had the sudden urge to curl up under the blankets and stay there.

"I do," Blaine said. "I just would never ask you to stay."

"I know," Kurt said smiling, "But I still know you wanted me to stay. I thought about it long and hard and discussed it with my Dad. It's for the best."

"It's so much to ask," Blaine said, the enormity of the treatment looming ahead of him and only the thought of Kurt keeping him a little grounded and sane.

"But it's so big Blaine that I know you'd need someone and not just your parents and family. I want to be there for you, let me."

Blaine looked into his latte, the froth dying in front of him, now just a light brown goop.

"Why would you want that after what I did?" Blaine didn't really ask, though he wanted to know the answer. He looked so small in front of Kurt now, a lost little boy and Kurt wanted to envelop him in his arms, he just worried he wouldn't be strong enough to remove all the pain.

"Because you'd do that for me," Kurt said simply, "And all of that doesn't matter now." Blaine looked up.

"You forgive me?" he asked quietly.

"I never understood why you did it," Kurt said, "You hurt me beyond belief."

Blaine felt his heart break just a little.

"I thought you'd moved on," he said knowing there was no excuse, "I thought I was out of your life."

"I could never be out of your life," Kurt whispered coming closer so only Blaine could hear in the crowded coffee shop. "But it's over now." He sat up straighter. "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?"

"Not in the grand scheme of things, not in a world of cancer. Nothing matters but you getting better."

"I don't deserve you," Blaine said shaking his head, his eyes filling with tears.

"Yes you do. You're the best person I know Blaine, you just need a little help at the moment."

Blaine couldn't answer but he lifted his watery gaze to Kurt and thought that if Kurt could always be by his side, he just might be able to get through anything.