April 14, 2013, 4:20 a.m.
Letters from a Wallflower: Chapter 2
E - Words: 1,484 - Last Updated: Apr 14, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Jan 05, 2013 - Updated: Apr 14, 2013 887 0 0 0 0
Chapter 2
Blaine couldn't gauge Kurt's reaction as he read the letter he had managed to slip in his locker the following morning as he only saw him at the end of the day at Glee club and by then the obvious surprise Kurt would have shown had become masked. Kurt didn't appear to mention it to anyone at Glee club and no one was talking about it. Blaine felt relieved that Kurt hadn't shared his secret with anyone and he didn't give him any indication that he knew he was the secret writer so he felt he could carry on.
"Would you like a solo for next week Blaine?" Mr Schue suddenly asked, breaking him from his reverie.
"Oh," he stuttered in reply, "I'm not sure I'm ready, I mean I don't know what I'd sing."
Kurt smiled warmly in his direction, trying to encourage him. "I could help Blaine, give you a few suggestions."
"Oh, I don't know, I think I'm busy, I…" Blaine felt such a fool as Kurt's face fell, obviously hurt that his friendship had been rebuffed. "Maybe tomorrow?" Blaine continued.
"Yeah of course," Kurt whispered, looking down, determined not to draw attention to himself but to no avail.
"Oh Ladyface obviously has another hopeless crush," Santana attempted to whisper to Brittany next to her but it came out as more of a stage whisper and Kurt blushed.
The rest of glee club continued with others sharing their solos for this week's assignment and Kurt avoided Blaine's gaze as much as possible.
Dear Kurt,
Thank you for not revealing my secret, I really appreciate it. I think eventually I will be able to tell you who I am but I'm sure you will be disappointed.
I have so much to tell you, I don't know where to begin and I don't want to scare you. You see I know what it's like to be scared, to not want to share with others and I have become so desperate to share that I feel I could burst. But you don't need to know that.
I think I will start with telling you a little about my family. I have just one brother who's moved away now and I live with my parents, who are happy but not happy if that makes sense. They tolerate each other because it is easier than facing the idea of parting. My father works in a prestigious firm and is very traditional, always careful that his family reflects that. My mum is careful to but I can tell she really doesn't care, her heart isn't in it. She can't fool me. My mum always protects me, not that my dad is abusive, just cold and intolerant but I suppose others have it worse.
I sometimes watch you when you don't notice (I know that sounds very stalker-like but I assure you I'm not scary, just shy). I notice your blue eyes and sometimes think I could sink into them. I think you must carry secrets too but maybe I'll never know.
Thanks for letting me ramble on and keeping my secrets. I feel I could trust you with anything which is strange as I barely know you but perhaps friendship is a puzzling thing and never to be understood by those lucky enough to have life-changing friends.
Thanks for being a friend,
X
Blaine slipped Kurt's letter into his locker during lunch when the hallway was busy and he knew that Kurt had already gone to the cafeteria. He hadn't meant to hover around the corridors after lunch but he was there by his own locker when Kurt reached into his before class to retrieve a book he needed for History. He saw the letter, neatly folded and looked around the corridor, hoping the person was still around. His eyes missed Blaine's as he scanned the corridor and he quickly read the letter, smiling to himself. He didn't notice Karofsky lolling down the corridor until it was too late and the echo of the lockers was the first indication to Blaine that something had gone wrong.
"Who's the love letter from homo?!" Karofsky shouted in Kurt's face as he shoved him into the locker and Kurt slid to the floor in defeat. Blaine could only rush stupidly up to Kurt as Karofsky walked off, an evil laugh echoing down the hall.
"Kurt? Are you ok?"
Kurt looked up, embarrassed that Blaine had seen and he quickly got to his feet and brushed himself down.
"I'm fine Blaine, don't worry." He looked in his locker, safely tucking the letter into his trouser pocket and locking his locker.
"I better get to class," Kurt started to walk away but Blaine held his elbow.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Kurt was startled by the obvious concern Blaine showed in his voice and expression and his mask slipped slightly.
"Yeah," he whispered, "I'll be ok, thanks." And he walked away.
xXx
Once Blaine started writing letters to Kurt he almost couldn't stop himself. He knew if he wrote more than one a day that Kurt would get suspicious or Blaine would accidentally give himself away but he couldn't help it. He was getting more desperate for Kurt to know more about him but the more contact he had with Kurt, the more he felt shy and awkward in his company.
The encounter at the lockers had left Blaine reeling because he had known what it was like at the school he went to before Dalton, before the no harassment policy and the acceptance. He had known what it was like to be bullied and Kurt was suffering this alone. As he walked around McKinley he noticed that Kurt was slushied and harassed much more often than the rest of the Glee club, though they all got a fair share. Kurt didn't seem to let it bother him, he put on a brave face but Blaine spotted him in his quiet moments alone and he could tell.
He really didn't want to come across as a stalker but the more he looked at Kurt the more beautiful and angelic he became. His chiselled cheekbones gave off a haughty expression but kindness and compassion were obvious in his eyes. The way he stood and walked proudly in those glorious outfits made Blaine blush but at the same time he admired him and wished he could be more like him. Kurt was interesting and Blaine wanted to know more about him. This gave him an idea.
Dear Kurt,
I know I keep writing you letters but I hope you don't mind. Maybe you could find a way to let me know; perhaps wear a blue scarf if you like the letters, a grey scarf if you don't want them to continue. I promise I would stop if I made you feel uncomfortable.
I wanted to tell you that I think you're awesome. I know that seems daft to say, you may think I barely know you but I think I know you better than most only because I've experienced similar things. You see I know how you are treated, I have seen you pushed into lockers, slushies thrown at you and you still manage to hold your head up high. You don't let them change who you are, that's why I think you're awesome.
Before I came to this school, ages ago, I went to a school where I was bullied for who I was. I think this is the first time I've told anyone at this school but I'm gay (even writing that gives a sense of relief that I've told someone). I was bullied for being gay and no one cared, explaining that it almost was expected that I would experience this.
I asked my only gay friend to the Sadie Hawkins dance at my old school and we were so confident and happy, thinking we were breaking new ground. But as we were waiting to be picked up a group of people beat the crap out of us. I was less confident then.
I know it gets you down Kurt but I want you to carry on and be strong. Call out those bullies. Its only ignorance that keeps them that way and you have so much courage I think sometimes we just need to be reminded of what we possess inside.
So keep your courage Kurt and if you ever need help or a friend you can write to me. I know this seems silly but if you want to write to me, place the letter in the piano in the choir room.
Thanks for being such a good friend,
X