In My Life
beingalive
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In My Life: Chapter 11


E - Words: 2,337 - Last Updated: Apr 09, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 12/12 - Created: Mar 13, 2013 - Updated: Apr 09, 2013
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Author's Notes: Song quoted:'In My Life' by The BeatlesA/N: Just the epilogue left! Thanks for reading and reviewing.

They walked home holding hands in a comfortable silence, Blaine enjoying the new position he found himself. It felt strange to even be holding Kurt's hand, his skin soft but cold and he brushed his thumb along his knuckle to keep him warm. He had forgotten what it felt like to be able to carry out this most simple of gestures and he could feel the fuzzy feeling in his stomach grow until he assumed he was glowing with happiness. He beamed at Kurt, who beamed in return, then laughed, showing his dimple.

"You are so adorable," Kurt said as they nearly skipped along the quiet street.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do just this and as soon as we get home, I'll be able to do the other things I've wanted to do too," Blaine said smiling. Kurt looked at Blaine and his face suddenly fell at Blaine's sincere wish and all the heartache that was implied. He had only wanted to show Blaine how he felt too but the thought that he had waited all these years for these moments made Kurt feel apprehensive and guilty. Kurt knew he couldn't live up to his expectations.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked as he noticed Kurt's face fall.

"I've been such an idiot Blaine, all these years and you've waited and I know I can't live up to how you remember me," he said rambling and avoiding Blaine's gaze.

Blaine stopped him by his hands and forced him to look his way.

"Kurt, don't be silly. You were married, I knew nothing was going to happen then. I mean I would be lying if I said I didn't wish this had happened earlier but I'm just glad it happened at all."

"How can you love me so much?" Kurt said wincing, "Why haven't you moved on?"

"It wasn't just the fact that I promised Kurt," he said smiling sadly, "I just knew you were it. I knew I would never meet anyone I loved as much as you so I stopped really looking. I filled the gap, there have been others, but you were my missing puzzle piece Kurt, no one else felt the same."

Kurt had never heard anything so sweet and his heart physically ached that he was home again, here with Blaine. He still couldn't believe it had taken so many years and unnecessary heartache but he knew he had his whole life to make it up to Blaine. Tears sprung to his eyes and he smiled.

"Six years..." Kurt whispered, shaking his head but Blaine came closer, sneaking his hand around his waist.

"We have forever now don't we?" Blaine asked quietly and Kurt nodded, a single tear making its way down his still pale cheek.


They made their way home and as they crossed the threshold, Kurt finally felt he had made it. He had been living with Blaine for over a week and it had always felt like he was staying with his best friend, almost borrowing his things and trespassing on his time and space. But as he walked in now something had changed. He could stop pretending that he was ok, could stop remembering Blaine fondly and see him here and now.

They removed jackets and shoes silently, Blaine looking at Kurt with so much unbridled love that Kurt swallowed nervously as they made their way to Blaine's room. Kurt rested his back on the closed door and Blaine came closer, just lightly brushing his fingers over Kurt's cheek and jaw. Kurt closed his eyes at the touch, leaning in as Blaine's fingers traced along his adam's apple and collarbone. Just his simple touch had Kurt's chest constricting and blood travelling south. There was always so much love there, always under the passion that Kurt never wanted to leave his side and he found himself moaning slightly. Blaine just smiled.

Soon his lips were following the path his fingers had taken, lovingly kissing the soft skin that he remembered from so long ago. It was amazing to Blaine how Kurt hadn't changed, how he remembered what drove Kurt wild, how he knew how to pull him apart at the seams. As Blaine carried on though, Kurt suddenly became impatient to touch and he started to unbutton Blaine's shirt so he could stroke along the warm skin of his chest and feel the familiar dusting of hair. Blaine moaned near his neck at his touch and Kurt thought he might die at the sound. He had forgotten what it was like to hear Blaine fall apart by his hands, hadn't allowed himself to think of Blaine at all during his years with Adam and as his hands travelled near the waistband of his jeans, waves of pleasure circled in his stomach. Kurt pushed them closer to the bed as he stripped Blaine of his shirt and Blaine finally kissed Kurt's mouth in desperation.

Kurt groaned as Blaine bit gently on his bottom lip and his tongue danced with his own, Blaine removing Kurt's shirt too, desperate to see, desperate to touch. They parted reluctantly as the back of Blaine's knees hit the bed and he fell to rest on his elbows, looking up at the glorious half naked sight of Kurt above him.

Kurt smirked slightly at the blush of excitement across Blaine's cheeks and the darkness of his eyes as Kurt started to remove his own belt and jeans. Blaine had waited for so long, had wanted so much that he could only look now, open mouthed and in awe of what was to happen. He had got himself off so many times at the image in front of him, the fantasy of Kurt's skin, his lips, that he almost thought Kurt couldn't live up to the vision in his mind but as Kurt finished stripping, finally bare, Blaine just gulped. He was perfect.

Kurt looked slightly nervous at Blaine's hot stare, his eyes raking over Kurt's body. He needed to take over, making sure Blaine knew how much he was loved, how much he was wanted. Kurt crept closer to Blaine and started taking off Blaine's tight pants, as Blaine's eyes rolled in the back of his head and his arms shook trying to hold his body up to look at what Kurt was doing below.

Once the offending items of clothing were removed and Blaine was revealed, Kurt's eyes seemed to go impossibly darker and he lowered his mouth over Blaine, hard and pulsing beneath him. He licked tentatively, pressing his tongue along the prominent vein and Blaine bucked up in desire and want. He groaned loudly, years of imagining this never doing justice to the power of Kurt's mouth over him.

"Oh god Kurt, don't stop..."

Kurt licked more insistently and he hummed around him as he took the head in his mouth, causing Blaine to practically scream in pleasure.

"Fuck!"

Kurt licked one final time then worked his kisses along Blaine's hipbone and his warm stomach.

"God you drive me crazy Blaine," Kurt moaned, sucking his hipbone noisily, "The noises you make..."

Blaine moaned again as if in answer and bucked involuntarily again to find Kurt hard and insistent above him. As Kurt crawled up Blaine's body, Blaine went further up the bed and soon flipped Kurt so he was underneath him on the bed. He kissed the soft skin on his stomach and went lower and lower until Kurt moaned in frustration.

"God Blaine, I want you so much," and he growled, making Blaine's cock twitch with anticipation. Blaine went lower still but skimmed past his cock with just a slow lick and went lower to lick around Kurt's hole and opened him wide with his tongue.

"Fuck!" Kurt screamed in pleasure, "God that's so good."

Blaine continued until Kurt was practically shaking in need of more and a finger was inserted, then two until Kurt begged and moaned loudly. Blaine lubed and placed the condom on whilst Kurt looked, his eyes so dark, only a ring of blue could be seen around his pupils. Kurt had never known arousal like this, had forgotten the powerful things Blaine could do to make him fall apart and he tugged him closer, desperate to be taken. Blaine entered slowly and closed his eyes shut when the amazing pleasure threaten to overwhelm him.

"God you're so tight..."

Kurt opened his eyes at the gentle touch given by Blaine's fingers grazing along his cheek. He looked up to see such love in Blaine's eyes he thought he might burst and he felt tears spring to his eyes. He hadn't allowed himself to dream, knew he shouldn't want someone else but all his moments had led up to this. He was finally Blaine's, he could finally just be Kurt – exactly what he was intended to be, his final purpose.

Blaine started a simple rhythm, not too fast or hard, but the slow pleasure built up nonetheless and Kurt could feel his own cock bob on his stomach, desperate to be touched. As they continued Kurt could never remember feeling so full and so complete and Blaine seemed to sense this and kissed him slowly, all his love, all his want portrayed in just one kiss. He started stroking Kurt as he could feel the overwhelming need to come inside, to fill him up more. Kurt kissed him as Blaine fell apart above him, stilling slightly then coming hard in Kurt with a shout. Kurt watched as Blaine came, wonder at his beauty, at this man above him that loved him, knew him completely. Kurt came soon after as Blaine continued to stroke him. They stayed together, coming down from the high, until Blaine looked down at Kurt, completely sated and awestruck. Looking at him there, wrecked and spent, Blaine felt tears prick at his eyes and he clung to Kurt closer, fearing his disappearance, as if he was a dream.

"Your mine now," Kurt whispered in his ear, kissing along the ear lobe and murmuring how much he was loved. Blaine clung to him a little more until he noticed the mess between them and went to the bathroom to get a cloth. Kurt remained on the bed and could only watch as Blaine cleaned him lovingly. Blaine finally came to rest beside him, sitting sideways and looking at Kurt, not wanting to speak to break the silence. Kurt's eyes twinkled with love and he smiled gently.

"Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide," Kurt sang quietly and Blaine's eyes widened at the memory, at the love he could see there. He thought his heart might just explode at the look of adoration in Kurt's eyes.

"But I love you," Kurt continued and Blaine joined in just as quietly but fervently, "I love you."

"Until the end of time," Kurt sung.

"Until the end of time," and Kurt's lips found Blaine's as he finished the song. Finally home, finally complete and they had shown that no matter how many years went pass, this was all that mattered.

"Come what may," was whispered between them.



In My Life

A blog celebrating love


I never thought I would be able to end this blog on such a high note, never believed it would be possible to erase the heartache but here I am, writing what I always longed to write. I love Kurt Hummel and he loves me too.

It was amazing to have such a return together and a real discussion this morning about where our future lay. Sometimes I look at him and can't believe this is real. Other times, like in the kitchen this morning when he made pancakes, it feels like nothing has changed. We were always together, always in love.


I know this is it, I have always known but knowing that Kurt feels the same, we can finally live our lives like they were meant to be. No more waiting, just him and me forever.

Kurt will go on my tour with me, while he travels with his production, my agent saying that they'll fit stops on my tour along with where Kurt ends up. I'm looking forward to finally seeing the country with the man I love – all my loves together – Kurt, music and America.


I was thinking about the title of my blog, the fact that I can now erase the heartache and about The Beatles song that inspired it. I suddenly knew, as I sang this song tonight at the club with Kurt watching from the crowd, that I wouldn't change a thing about my life, even the waiting. I think I will never appreciate Kurt as much as I do now and I know I have changed, becoming a better person but knowing what I really want and what love really means. I get to keep all my promises to Kurt, including the one about the kissing and I have never been happier. He was so worth the wait.

There are places I remember

All my life, though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends

I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all


But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new


Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more


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