Blaine noticed the season change as his photographs changed. Gone were the days where he could capture golden orange leaves and girls wearing light scarves, instead he needed a blanket to wrap around himself whilst he messaged Kurt and a thicker scarf around his own neck when he ventured outside. Hed received a formal email from his father enquiring what he was planning to do over the Christmas break and although he knew he would be welcomed into their house again he didnt fancy the impeccable dinner and the inane chatter about what he was getting up to in New York. It was an unspoken rule that Blaine never mention anything that would be considered even remotely gay and he was getting increasingly worried that, as he didnt know what that consisted of, he would accidently mention something that would offend them. It was easier to have Christmas in his dorm, on his own as Brad was obviously returning home, and wander around New York at this magical time of the year. He didnt think anything of mentioning it to Kurt, so accepting of his decision to spend Christmas alone, that he was actually surprised when Kurt seemed so horrified.

"Blaine you cant spend Christmas alone!" he screeched while they were talking on skype.

"Why not?" Blaine asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"Because no one should be alone during the holidays."

"I could always go home but I dont really want to," Blaine said, not getting the big deal. "The thought of forced conversation and escaping to my bedroom as soon as present opening and Christmas dinner are over, makes me want to yawn. I did all of that with Thanksgiving."

"But youll miss the magic," Kurt said quietly. Blaine smiled. Kurt looked like such a lost child, Blaine was instantly reminded of his favourite childhood book, Peter Pan.

"All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust," Blaine whispered and Kurt looked up in surprise.

"You like Peter Pan?"

Blaine laughed. "Of course I do, its my favourite book," he exclaimed.

Kurt sat up a little straighter in bed as if it was the most important conversation.

"Favorite quote?" he asked. Blaine instantly reeled it off.

"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."

Kurt beamed. "Mine too," he said.

"I think even when I was seven and reading that in my bedroom using my night light in case my parents told me off, I dreamt of escape. I knew that dreams were the way to go. If you have one goal, one dream to strive for, you can go far."

"Do your parents not approve of your dream?" Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head sadly. "They think Im just a dreamer and that I have no idea what the real world is like. They want me to have a sensible job."

"So the course you chose wasnt a popular choice?"

Blaine laughed ruefully. "You could say that," he said, "I guess I dont care but it makes family dinners awkward. They still try to change my mind, remind me that I can always change my major, can always seek a different direction. Im a little tired of trying to persuade them."

"They think your age is the reason?"

"Oh yeah, like I dont know my own mind. Maybe they think Ill soon be beaten down by the world and rejection."

Blaine didnt like the idea of failure but knew it was a possibility. Doubt would creep in during those moments and he would often consider at least changing his minor in case things went pear-shaped.

"Thats better than never trying," Kurt said simply. He had faced similar fears and he always came to the same conclusion. "I dont care if I fail, at least I wont regret the decisions I made."

"You reblogged that the other day," Blaine said, struggling to remember the exact wording, his face looking confused.

"You have not failed until you have quit trying," Kurt said smiling that he had quoted it word for word.

"Exactly," Blaine said smiling too.

"I get that you dont want to spend the day with your parents, Blaine," Kurt said, his tone now serious, "But you cant give up on your dreams and you definitely cant forget the magic of Christmas."

"Ok, Ill try," Blaine said.

"Not good enough," Kurt said with mock severity, "You up for a Christmas related challenge?" He looked mischievous and Blaines chest swooped again. He briefly wanted to kiss that cheeky grin away but Kurt was still talking, saying something about texting him details and having to go so he could cook dinner. Blaine waved and said goodbye and Kurt was gone before he could think anymore about the Christmas challenge.

It was a week later before Blaine received a text about the challenge, so he had started to forget. Kurt had spent the week filling him in about how he juggled his workload as well as working at a coffee shop and updating his fashion blog. He spoke about what he would do for the Christmas holidays without going on about it too much, in case he upset Blaine. But Blaine could tell he was excited. Kurt spoke of his favorite memories with his mother and how he had saved for months to get her a keepsake box that looked just like the one Kurt had seen online recently. He had reblogged it so that Blaine could see it and comment. It really was pretty and he said so. Blaine was now walking past all the decorations, admiring all the lights and already feeling pretty Christmassy when Kurt text him.

If youre still free tomorrow night, go to the arch in Washington Square Park with a boom box and several Christmas songs of your choice. Meet everyone there at 6.45 for a 7pm start.

And youre not going to tell me what this is?

No, but you will be singing if you didnt pick up on that already?!

I guessed that!

Video it for me?

Of course. And this challenge will make me feel Christmassy? Im already in a pretty Christmassy place right now…

Wow… now Im jealous.

Dont be, Im jealous that you have a wonderful family to go back home to, one that wont try to persuade you not to dream.

Well take loads of pictures for me (a New Yorker despite the distance).

Ok my friend

My friend?!

Well my best friend if thats not too weird?

No, not weird.

Weve never met… maybe that is weird.

No, definitely not weird. Youre my best friend too.

Good. Ill let you know how tomorrow goes.

Looking forward to it :)

Blaine could tell this would be big as he got closer to the meeting place in Washington Square Park. It looked like hundreds were gathered there, wrapped securely against the chilly wind and all prepared with their boom boxes. Blaine came closer and asked someone what was happening. The guy looked quizzically at Blaines own boom box and replied with a confused expression.

"Arent you already prepared?"

"Oh yeah but a friend told me just to arrive with this, I dont know whats happening," Blaine said.

The guy chuckled. "Well Im Ethan," he said holding his hand out for Blaine to shake.

"Blaine."

"This is the best thing about Christmas. We all meet here and play our track together, singing through New York. Its called Unsilent Night."

"Wow," Blaine finally said, taking a look around, "And everyone is here to sing?"

"Yep, to spread Christmas cheer," he said jovially, "You got the tracks?"

"Tracks?"

"Yeah you have to download one of four different tracks and we go round in groups."

"I only have Christmas songs," Blaine said a little worried but another guy that seemed to be in charge suddenly appeared next to Blaine.

"Did I hear you say you only have Christmas songs?"

"Yeah," Blaine said.

"Good, you can lead a new group and use your own tracks," the guy said, gesturing to someone else that appeared to be a leader. "Will, this guys leading his own group." He pointed at Blaines head and everyone turned to look at Blaine too. This was suddenly the group to belong to so a few came closer to him.

"But I was just told to turn up here," Blaine said, gesturing with his hands, knowing that this was going too far.

"Dont worry kid," the guy said, "Youll be fine. No one will be able to hear you sing over the boom box."

And he walked off, obviously to set up another group.

"I actually sing at college," Blaine said quietly to Ethan.

"Thats great," Ethan said, "Youll be fine then."

The crowd were gathered together to explain how it all worked and Blaine took a few pictures. They would all go together but mainly travel in groups so they could share boom boxes. Blaine would lead a group, everyone singing along until they had reached their final destination.

"You ready?" Ethan asked.

Blaine nodded nervously and pressed the boom box when instructed to start. Groups started moving forward and singing started. Blaine sang all the classics, enjoying leading after a while, when all the nerves dissipated. He led them through the park with jolly songs, causing the group, as well as people that gathered to watch, to sing loudly and happily. Blaine knew Christmas cheer was indeed being spread.

It came to the end, when Blaines fingers were hurting slightly from holding the boom box above his head and everyones feet were sore. They neared Tompkins Square Park after almost an hour of caroling and Blaine realized he hadnt recorded any of the songs. He had taken several photos but he knew Kurt would need video evidence. As everyone was wishing each other Merry Christmas and hugging goodbye, Blaine stopped Ethan who was about to go his own way.

"Would you mind recording me for my friend?" Blaines cheeks were already flushed through cold but a warm blush appeared nonetheless. Ethan smiled.

"Sure thing," he said happily, "For your friend?"

"Yeah he set this up. He lives in LA."

"Wow, where did you meet?" Ethan asked as he took Blaines phone, trying to figure out how to use the video.

"Oh we havent met," Blaine said, a little embarrassed, "We chat online."

"Oh right," Ethan said nodding, "I get it. This seems a lot to do for someone that you havent met."

Blaine felt a little defensive. "Well hes like my best friend, hes important to me."

Ethan nodded. "Im ready when you are."

Groups of people were slowly leaving the park so as Blaine sang, the video also displayed the hoards of people that had been singing previously.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Let your heart be light

From now on,

Our troubles will be out of sight

A group behind Blaine had stopped to listen, watching, mesmerized at the slower version he was singing and how different it was to the loud volume of the carols sung previously. Blaine was staring straight at the phone, singing directly to Kurt and really wishing him the best of Christmases.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Make the Yule-tide gay.

Blaine winked mischievously at the phone and Ethan laughed.

From now on,

Our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore.

Faithful friends who are dear to us

Gather near to us once more.

Through the years

We all will be together,

If the Fates allow

The image of spending Christmas with Kurt, hanging up their own decorations, cooking turkey, filled Blaine with a sudden longing but he kept it together as the song finished.

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Blaine finished to rapturous applause and he smiled, coming closer to the phone.

"Merry Christmas, Kurt," he said.

Ethan finished recording and handed the phone back to Blaine who thanked him.

"This Kurt seems special," Ethan said as he prepared to leave.

"Oh I dont know," Blaine said, a little flummoxed by the comment, "I dont think he sees me like that."

"He set you a challenge like that, which took thought and organization?" Blaine nodded. "People dont do that for just anybody. I wouldnt be surprised if you ended up together."

Ethan patted him on the shoulder and wished him a merry Christmas but turning to go, Blaine stopped him.

"But he lives miles away," Blaine said.

"So?" Ethan said, "Love knows no distance."

And he was off, leaving Blaine in a more secluded park but never had he been as confused as he felt at that moment.

"That was amazing Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed on skype later on that night. "I cant believe they let you lead your own group. Youre obviously talented and they saw that straight away."

"Well its all because of you," Blaine said quietly, feeling a little overwhelmed. "You helped me become so much more confident Kurt, I cant begin to thank you."

"Dont be silly," Kurt said, changing his position so he was resting on his stomach on his bed. "You had it all along, otherwise you wouldnt have got into NYADA. I just helped it along."

"No Kurt," Blaine said, desperate to be understood and the compliment accepted. "It was you. You believed in me, knew what I needed to do to become a better version of myself. No one has ever done that for me before."

Kurt was silent, uncomfortable with accepting the comment but knowing that it was important to Blaine. He simply nodded.

"Feel more Christmassy now?" he said, changing the subject.

"Definitely, Im actually looking forward to it now," Blaine said.

"Can I still ring on Christmas Day?" Kurt asked.

"Youll be busy with family Kurt, I dont want to intrude."

"Dont be silly," Kurt said, "It wouldnt be Christmas without you."

"Really?" Blaine asked, a little surprised that he meant that much to him.

"Blaine…" Kurt said, his annoyance creeping out. "It wouldnt be a normal day now without some form of communication with you, let alone on Christmas. Youre really important to me, best friends, remember?"

"Best friends," Blaine said, nodding. "Right."

Blaine had found Ethans comment replaying in his head as soon as Unsilent Night had finished. There was no doubt in Blaines mind that Kurt was starting to mean so much more than just a best friend. Everything that came out of Kurts pretty mouth had the capacity to make him smile or his heart soar. He was starting to worry about the constant fluctuation in his heartbeat lest it induce a heart attack. But as he looked to Kurt, who always seemed so carefree and happy, he started to fear that Kurt would never feel the same, that Blaine was making it bigger in his mind and they were just friends that met online. He hadnt realized he had been in his own little world until Kurt started speaking again and he knew he had missed a whole chunk of conversation.

"Do you think well ever meet," Kurt said, "You know, in real life?"

Blaine was so desperate for that but knew with their busy college schedules and the expense of travel that it wouldnt happen for a very long time.

"We will," Blaine said hopefully. "Someday I know we will."

"Hey, isnt it like three am over there right now?" Kurt asked looking at his own watch. "Shouldnt you be asleep?"

Blaine looked nervous, not able to look Kurt in the eye but he thought now was the moment, so he took his chance.

"I tried Kurt," he said, "But I couldnt stop thinking about you."

There was a pause and Kurt sucked in a breath.

"About me?"

Blaine nodded.

"What about me?" Kurt asked, his voice a mere whisper.

Blaine saw it all flash across his mind, the gentle way Kurt would let him down, the pretence that they were just friends would continue and Blaine would feel rejected but Kurt would move on. Blaine swallowed.

"Everything," Blaine breathed, "Just how important you are to me, what a great friend you are…"

Kurt smiled and Blaine thought he could see a brief glimpse of relief flood his face.

"You mean that much to me too Blaine," Kurt said and Blaine could see him swallow too. "I dont care that weve never met. Youre more important to me than anyone."

Blaine nodded. He could accept that, as long as he had Kurt in his life. He suddenly remembered his own Christmas.

"Can I have your address?" Blaine asked, taking Kurt by surprise. "I wanted to post my gift to your dads house so youd get it for the day."

"Oh yes," Kurt said excitedly, "I have your gift too and need your address."

They swapped addresses and ended the conversation, leaving Blaine wondering if he had been forceful enough with his declaration but deciding that it was probably for the best. If Kurt just saw them as close friends Blaine didnt want to jeopardize that. He would have to be satisfied with that.

Blaine opened his gift from Kurt as soon as Christmas morning arrived. A few presents had been sent from family but Kurts was opened first and as soon as he saw it and how well it fitted his personality as well as their challenges, he smiled and put it around his wrist. A metallic bracelet branded with the word courage would remind him of everything that Kurt had given him over the last few weeks. He would never forget and it brought a tear to his eye that it was just such a perfect gift. Kurt rang him a lot quicker than he thought he would, but Blaine accepted the call quickly.

"Kurt, Ive just opened the gift and its perfect," Blaine beamed, brandishing the gift in front of him so Kurt could see him wear it.

"Oh you opened it," Kurt said happily, "Do you really like it?"

"Are you kidding Kurt? I love it!"

"Good," Kurt said smiling widely, "I havent opened your present yet. Do you mind if I open it now?"
"No of course not," Blaine said, though he looked a little worried. "I hope its ok, you might think its a little girly."

"Dont be silly," Kurt said, holding the wrapped gift. "Im sure Ill love it."

He opened it carefully, already suspecting it was fragile. It took Kurt a while to realize what it was when it was finally revealed. The pretty heart-shaped keepsake box that looked just like the one he had bought his mother all those years ago.

"Kurt?"

"You remembered…" Kurt whispered as if he was talking to himself.

"Of course I remembered," Blaine said chuckling, "Does it still remind you of your mom?"

Kurt nodded and finally looked up at the laptop screen to show Blaine his tear-filled eyes.

"Oh Kurt," Blaine said, immediately wracked with guilt. "Im sorry I didnt mean to upset you."

"You didnt," Kurt said shaking his head and smiling to prove it. "I cant believe you remembered."

"It was important to you," Blaine whispered.

"I love it," Kurt whispered and he had a sudden urge to say he loved Blaine but he shook his head in amazement at the gift in front of him instead.

"Merry Christmas Blaine," he said and Blaine smiled even wider. He may be physically on his own this Christmas but he was never actually alone and this was the best way he could ever imagine spending the day.

Blaine would vow never to drink on his own again the following morning when he woke with a banging head. The eggnog that his mother had sent him had to be opened, he reasoned, and he only had a few, but it gave him the courage he thought he needed, to do what he had wanted to do all along.

He would occasionally look at the bracelet Kurt had given him, feel like he was on the crest of a wave and determined to be understood. He reasoned it wouldnt be that obvious, especially if he didnt message Kurt directly, he would just put it on his blog and maybe Kurt would never see it after all.

He set up his webcam above his rickety piano and pressed record, starting to play soon after.

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I cant help falling in love with you

Shall I stay, would it be a sin?

I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

So take my hand and take my whole life too

Cos I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows so surely to the sea

Oh my darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be.

So wont you please just take my hand?

And take my whole life too.

Cos I cant help falling in love, in love with you

Cos I cant help falling in love, falling in love,

Falling in love with you.

Blaine finished, letting the words hover in the air. He looked at the webcam for the first time and smiled sadly. He briefly thought Kurt would never know and it panicked him, the eggnog giving him courage he thought he would never have. Before he could change his mind, he looked directly at the webcam and said:

"This is for Kurt," he said, "Merry Christmas darling."

He switched off the webcam and sat in silence. He uploaded the video before he could convince himself of his mistake and waited in his room, his dorm now so small and isolating, he wanted to curl up in bed and cry. He could only imagine how Kurt would react if he ever saw it.

It took Kurt a few hours to see it, what with all the rush of Christmas dinner but when he had a few hours to himself after all the washing up, he went online to see if anyone had posted anything exciting.

He was surprised Blaine had uploaded a video especially as he hadnt been tagged, which had been their custom when they posted online. Kurt clicked the video and was mesmerised as Blaine sang such a sweet song so beautifully, tears forming easily by the end. He was reminded of how Blaine had sung when they first met online, just after Finn died; how Blaine had made him feel so in touch with everything, so connected. He was about to turn the video off as soon as Blaine stopped playing but Blaines words rang out, loud and clear and he paused.

Had Blaine meant all those words for him? He instantly replayed the song and watched, everything now meaning so much more. Blaine looked slightly pained as he sang, something Kurt hadnt noticed before, as if he was unburdening himself finally. He switched it off as it stopped, turned off his computer and lay on his bed, saying nothing, not returning downstairs but left with a dilemma that plagued him as he drifted off to sleep. Honey coloured eyes, dark curls desperate to spring loose and a smile that always made Kurt swoon. Christmas had ended, a new year came closer and Kurt wondered what this now meant for his future.