Chapter 2

Kurt woke the following morning, a spring in his step as he made coffee and ate a bagel. He had woken early again so Dave remained asleep but he contemplated texting Blaine to meet for lunch although he knew it must be too early and he didn't want to scare him. Blaine clearly just wanted a new friend and he had a boyfriend but Kurt hadn't felt this hopeful in a long time. It was nice to be able to have interesting conversation with someone new, someone that made him feel at ease. Something his boyfriend should be able to do.

Dave walked into the kitchen as Kurt was finishing his bagel and Kurt cursed that he hadn't been quick enough. Dave looked sleep deprived himself and came in rubbing at his eyes and yawning, dark circles under his eyes. He simply poured himself a coffee but as Kurt made to leave he turned and gently tapped his elbow.

"Wait, Kurt, do you have to leave so early? I got up on time…" Dave almost pleaded, desperate for conversation and Kurt sighed, sitting on the stool in the kitchen once more.

"Yeah I suppose I don't have to leave just yet," he said.

There was uncomfortable silence as they both sipped their coffees, and Kurt found himself looking about the room, avoiding Dave's eyes.

"So how's work been?" Dave began, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, it's been great thanks. Busy," Kurt said nodding. "How about you?"

"Yeah there's been a bit of a lull in the office lately but hopefully business will pick up."

"That's good, I'm sure you can help things along, you're great at your job Dave."

"Thanks," Dave smiled. Silence reigned again.

"Fancy going out for dinner tonight?" Dave looked so hopeful, eyes wide in anticipation of Kurt's answer, that Kurt found himself thinking desperately for a reason.

"I don't know Dave; I think I might be too busy at work…" Kurt's voice got quieter and his eyes finally rested on his hands on his knees, not daring to watch the hurt in Dave's eyes.

"Look Kurt why is this happening?" Dave's voice got louder, causing Kurt to look up, "I'm trying here, I really am."

"I know," Kurt whispered, desperate to leave or let the ground swallow him whole.

"What do you want me to say? What should I do? I mean, we haven't seen each other properly in weeks, this is the first conversation we've had in days and I don't even want to mention the bedroom." Kurt blushed. "We need to talk about this, you can't just shut me out, I don't know what to do…" Dave's voice changed as tears appeared in his eyes, he choked, blinked furiously, felt like pleading. Kurt couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'm sorry Dave," he said, getting up and cleaning his coffee mug, "I can't do this now, I need some space. We'll talk soon." And he walked out the door after grabbing his satchel, Dave rubbing his forehead with his fingers and sighing heavily.

xXx

Kurt decided that late morning would be not too early to text Blaine, assuming he would be up. He left it simple, inviting but not too friendly, after writing the text at least three times.

To: Blaine [11.32]

Hi Blaine, it's Kurt from last night at the bar. Just wondered if you were free for lunch today. Don't worry if you're not. I might see you at another gig soon.

He watched his phone patiently, tapping it every so often when it blanked, his screen mocking him and he suddenly remembered that phrase about a watched kettle. He decided he would make himself tea and catch up on the gossip from Isabelle.

He passed her office as she flicked through past issues of Vogue and chewed her pen in concentration as she looked at the images. She looked up at Kurt as he passed her window and indicated 'drink?' with his hand. She nodded and followed him to the coffee machine as Kurt was making their drinks.

"Hi Kurt, how have you been?"

"Good thanks Isabelle," he said, feigning optimism and happiness. Isabelle wasn't fooled.

"What's wrong?" Kurt looked at her and suddenly laughed.

"Can't fool you, can I?"

"No, you have to be sharp in this business. So again, what's wrong?"

"Nothing really, just boyfriend trouble, life trouble. Nothing's quite right."
"Oh that," Isabelle waved her hand faking nonchalance to indicate her sarcasm. "That's big Kurt. I think this needs a chat in my office."

"Oh no no, don't worry really, I just need to sort it out and don't know quite how. I'll be ok."

"Come on, let's go," she said, tugging his arm to her office, and Kurt suddenly felt like a child being sent to the principal's office.

"Sit," she commanded with a smile once they were in her office with their teas. "So I've noticed you get to the office very early, leave very late. Does that have anything to do with it?" She smirked knowingly.

"Yes I guess so," Kurt laughed at her knowledge, nothing did really get past her. "I just need to make decisions I guess and I want to avoid them."

"Boyfriend issues?"

"Yeah but I know he can't help it and he wants to discuss it but I feel like I need my space before we can have those conversations. He expects me to be fine."

"Well he sounds like a good guy."

"Oh yeah, he is…" Kurt's voice trailed away, he was unsure what to say next.

"Well have some time, think things through, but I think you're probably not being fair to the guy." She smiled, trying to suggest she was on his side really.

"I know, but he's made decisions for me here, I feel I'm owed some thinking time."

He knew he was being allusive but he didn't want to be clear, he still hadn't processed it all himself.

"Well take your time, but maybe the answer is really obvious, staring at you in the face."

It was comical really, the timing was perfect. There he was, Blaine standing the other side of the office window and waving at Kurt, then suddenly shy he moved to the other side of the corridor, not wanting to disturb a private conversation.

Kurt laughed and thanked Isabelle as he left.

"Blaine!" Kurt said, laughing. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in town when you text and found myself nearby, so I thought I'd surprise you if you still wanted lunch." Blaine worried his lip with his teeth, suddenly aware he might have misread the situation the night before.

"Oh that's great, I'll just grab my things from my office, won't be a minute."

"I tried to ring but you didn't answer," Blaine explained as he followed Kurt to his office, watching him take his satchel and his phone.

"Oh yeah, I see," Kurt pocketed his phone and indicated the lift, the other side of the office.

"Do you fancy anywhere in particular?" Kurt asked as they walked out the building. "I know this great coffee shop round the corner, their paninis are to die for."

"Sounds good."

Hands were stuffed into pockets as they walked briskly against the chill wind, Blaine commenting that he probably hadn't dressed appropriately for the weather in his boat shoes without socks. Kurt laughed.

"But they look pretty," Kurt said, still smiling, "And that's what's important. Fashion first."

"Is that a Vogue motto?"

"Sort of," Kurt laughed.

They found the place nearly heaving already with the lunch rush but managed to order coffees and paninis and grab the last table in the corner.

"Do you have a lot of work on today?" Blaine asked.

"No not really I got into work early so I can afford to take a longer lunch. Do you have a lot of work?"

"No, I just need to sort my set list for tonight's gig but I have a pretty good idea what songs I'm gonna sing."

"Oh yeah, where are you singing tonight?"

"Another piano bar, this time in Brooklyn but I love it. It's a rowdy place, a different kinda place to Callbacks but just as sweet. It's full of regulars and people recognise me now, ask for requests, so it's all good. It's always a fun night. You should come!" Blaine looked suddenly excited as if he had just thought of the best idea in the world.

"Oh, yeah that'll be great. I mean, yeah I don't think I have plans," Kurt said, stumbling on his words, trying not to sound too desperate.

Blaine's smile faded slightly and he blushed. "Oh yeah, only if you're free, I mean you probably have plans with your boyfriend."

"No actually, he's more of a quiet guy, likes to spend time alone," Kurt lied.

"Oh ok, great, that means more time with me," Blaine said smiling.

"I suppose it does," Kurt said, matching Blaine's smile.

xXx

They agreed to a time and a place to meet before the gig and Kurt returned to work with an obvious spring in his step, not missed by Isabelle as he bounded into the office.

"So, who was that?" Isabelle asked mischievously, "The famous boyfriend?"

Kurt's face fell. Had he looked that happy to see him?

"No, no just a friend I met yesterday. He plays at piano bars across town."

Isabelle looked worried she had offended and nodded her head in acknowledgement, disappearing into her office.

xXx

Kurt was early and it did nothing to calm his nerves. He had rushed home after work, thankfully arriving before Dave and changed as quickly as possible, managing to finish his hair on the subway amidst curious stares. He got off at a Brooklyn station and found he was way too early, deciding on grabbing a coffee first to settle the butterflies in his stomach.

Only as he waited for Blaine did he acknowledge what the nerves meant. It wasn't a date, both guys had boyfriends; they were just friends, so why did he feel the jittery feeling he got when he would meet someone on a first date? He tapped his feet together in the cold and clapped his gloved hands together in an attempt to keep warm and avoid these silly thoughts whirring in his head. He always over thought situations.

Blaine arrived on time and as he walked up to Kurt he looked just as excited to see him as Kurt felt and maybe he hadn't imagined the feelings after all. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a sensible voice was telling him to run, to pretend he wasn't feeling well and go back to David, sitting alone at home but Kurt quickly dismissed the voice of reason and greeted Blaine with a hug.

Blaine stood back after the warm hug and smiled at Kurt, displaying white teeth and making Kurt feel more at ease. They chatted about their journeys there and the interesting things Blaine had seen on the subway and what the piano bar was really like. He tried to describe some of the people that Kurt would meet there but decided they were beyond description really and Kurt would just have to meet them. Kurt chuckled in anticipation and felt light-headed. He was about to enter a world where living happened and he dismissed the last thought of Dave sitting idly at home and smiled as they headed into the bar.

They had obviously arrived too early for it to be busy yet and Blaine had to leave Kurt as he set up his music and piano, so Kurt got a drink and settled at the bar to watch Blaine get ready. He looked so happy up there, with his sheets of music and his piano. The owner of the bar had approached him and started a conversation about the set list, Blaine animatedly telling him what he had planned. He looked over at Kurt once and smiled warmly. Kurt felt his heart soar. He hadn't felt like that in a long time.

Blaine grabbed a drink at the bar when he had finished and sat with Kurt, explaining that he wouldn't be starting for half an hour or so. The place started filling and regulars that knew Blaine would tap him on the back in greeting. Blaine belonged here and Kurt wanted that too.

"Hey Blaine, nice to see you again!" One guy greeted them and Blaine grinned and introduced the guy to Kurt who shook the guy's hand and found his name was Charlie. Kurt was suddenly introduced to loads of people that Charlie had brought with him and he felt hands shake his, his cheek kissed and shoulders rubbed. The notion that he could finally belong warmed his stomach and he couldn't stop grinning.

"It's great here, isn't it?" Blaine said excitedly as people were finding seats.

"Yeah, people are really friendly." Kurt smiled warmly.

"I've known quite a few of these people for years. I went to college with Charlie. He actually got me the gig here, his father owns the bar."

"So what's your boyfriend doing while you're here?" Kurt asked after a moment of silence.

"Oh I'm not sure," Blaine said uncomfortably, "Something about drinking with a mate the other side of town." Kurt nodded his head, not sure how to proceed with the conversation.

"What about yours? Is he sitting at home?"

"Yeah," Kurt looked down, not wanting the uncomfortable feeling of reason to return.

"You should invite him out sometime to one of my piano gigs," Blaine said unconvincingly.

"Yeah maybe," Kurt mumbled. Blaine suddenly had to start his gig, as the owner nodded in his direction and he approached the piano confidently, no longer the shy piano man that Kurt had seen last night.

"Hi guys," he said which started woops and claps in greeting, "Alright calm down, calm down," he joked, grinning widely, "I'll start, I'll start!"

He started with New York State of Mind, which considering the cheers was a clear popular choice. Kurt found himself being nudged by Charlie who had appeared beside him.

Blaine sang with such passion, you couldn't help but be drawn into the song, and Kurt was reminded of why he had wanted to live in New York in the first place. His first flight to the city of his dreams, the view of Manhattan, the skyscrapers, made his spirit soar and he had forgotten. He closed his eyes as Blaine sang and played and only opened them when he could feel a whisper in his ear.

"He's great isn't he?" Charlie said, smiling at Kurt's dazed expression.

"Yeah, great," Kurt whispered. Blaine continued his set with one of his own songs about loneliness and knowing when someone completes you and Kurt thought back to his meeting David again and how things had gone so quickly. How Kurt had moved in within a few weeks and they had played at a relationship until the inevitable questions had been asked and Kurt hadn't felt like pretending anymore.

Blaine continued to sing until his break, songs that jollied the crowd along and encouraged them all to join in, other songs were slower, more intimate. The crowd loved him and Kurt could easily see why. Blaine made such an effort with them, teased them, encouraged them, smiled in their cheers. He finished half of his set and plonked himself next to Kurt as Charlie went to get him a drink.

"How was I?" Blaine asked a continually dazed Kurt.

"Are you kidding me Blaine?" Kurt scoffed, "You were fantastic! I just… I mean I can't even express how fabulous that was."

"Really?" Blaine smiled, his cheeks flushing in pride, so pleased he had invited Kurt along.

"Absolutely. I mean you made me feel nostalgic, I wanted to cry, laugh, you brought back memories of when I first flew over New York, you were just amazing."

"Oh wow," Blaine whispered, "I never thought I was that good! Thanks Kurt, I really appreciate it," he said, stroking Kurt's arm affectionately. Kurt only smiled, feeling the butterflies take flight again but one look in the warm amber eyes that locked with his showed him that he wasn't the only one to feel this.

Blaine soon had to go back to the piano to finish his set and Kurt watched from the sidelines, basking in the good music and occasionally chatting with Charlie and his friends around him. Charlie was easy to talk to and Kurt could see how he had become friends with Blaine. They chatted about music and ambitions and dreams, Kurt voicing his desire to sing on Broadway one day and it was only when Charlie raised an eyebrow that he panicked and suddenly felt foolish for giving away a part of himself so easily.

"Why hasn't it happened yet?" Charlie asked.

"Oh I've just not had the opportunity I suppose. I got stuck in my job and can't see a way out."

"What have you been doing to get yourself out there? Auditions?"

"Oh no no, they don't even consider someone without some form of training and I've never been to college. I didn't get into NYADA."

"But there are other colleges, others routes. I mean look at Blaine, he's making his dreams come true. He's living his dream."

Kurt looked over at Blaine and suddenly felt annoyed at his friend Charlie. Who was he to question him, to insinuate that he hadn't tried hard enough? Blaine only smiled warmly when he caught Kurt's eye, not realising the internal struggle or the conversation on the other side of the piano.

"I'm sorry man," Charlie was saying, "I didn't mean to offend, I just think you need to still try, don't give up. If you're good enough, things happen but you have to work for it."

Kurt nodded in agreement, finally realising but still staring at Blaine. Sudden courage filled him as he sought the owner and his eyes finding him near the bar, he bounded over to him before Charlie could ask what he was doing.

Kurt asked quickly, Blaine still singing, and the owner agreed with curiosity as Blaine finished singing his song. The owner, who Kurt had found out was called Will, approached the mic and Blaine looked at his watch, aware that his agreed time was not up yet and looked confused.

"Excuse me everyone," Will said to the crowd, "There's someone that would like the opportunity to sing to you tonight, if Blaine doesn't mind?" He looked over to a puzzled Blaine whose eyes suddenly alighted on Kurt and he nodded warmly.

Kurt approached the piano timidly and asked Blaine if he could play the piano for him while he sung. Blaine looked surprised but quickly nodded his head in agreement as Kurt took the proffered microphone from Will.

"Thanks everyone, I hope you don't mind, it's just been a really long time since I've sung and I need this, I guess."

The piano started behind him and he forgot Blaine and focused on the song bubbling up in his chest, waiting to find release. He had waited so long for this.

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am, do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone,
Out here on my own.

We're always provin' who we are
Always reachin' for that risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home
Out here on my own

When I'm down and feelin' blue
I close my eyes so I can be with you
Oh, baby, be strong for me
Baby, belong to me
Help me through
Help me need you

Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am, do I fit in
I may not win
But I can't be thrown
Out here on my own
Out here on my own

As the song finished and he opened his eyes that he hadn't known he had closed, he saw some stunned faces around him, a pause until applause and standing ovations brought him out of his reverie to find Blaine coming out from behind the piano to grip his shoulders in a tight hug and his face beamed at him in adoration.

"You were awesome Kurt," he said and taking the microphone from his hands he assured the crowd that he couldn't compete against that and would finish early for the night. Kurt went red but it was the best feeling in the world.

After a few drinks and compliments around the table with Charlie and his friends, Blaine said he had better be heading back and Kurt said he'd go with him, feeling hot and in need of cool air to chill his warm face.

"I don't know about you but I need some chill out time before I head back. Fancy a late night coffee somewhere? I don't know as many places around here but we could look?" Blaine said.

"Sounds like a plan Batman," Kurt said, then cringed at himself. Blaine only chuckled as they walked to a coffee shop not too far away that was brightly lit from the outside, and they ordered coffees and sat in comfy chairs in the corner.

Kurt sighed in pleasure as he sat and Blaine smiled.

"You never told me you could sing like that. Now I'll be asking you to join me all the time at my gigs."

"Oh I see," Kurt teased, "Does this mean I'll get a cut?"

"Of course," Blaine smiled, feeling so at ease here, he curled his legs underneath him and sipped his coffee.

"Thank you for tonight Blaine," Kurt said sincerely, "Maybe I should thank your friend Charlie too." Blaine quirked a triangular eyebrow so Kurt continued. "He asked me why I'd stopped trying, why I'd given up and all these excuses came tumbling out but then I realised he was right. I had given up, I just expected things to drop in my lap and he reminded me that you had had to try, that you were living your dreams. I couldn't stop my feet from getting up there and singing. I felt like I could burst and I haven't sung in ages."

"That's great Kurt, so good. I'm glad I could do that for you. You should never give up. The status quo is never enough, you should always strive for more."

"Yeah…" Kurt said wistfully, suddenly aware of Dave at home, probably already tucked up in bed.

"How come I hardly know you and already you know me better than anyone?" Kurt asked quietly, not wanting to admit it, even to himself. Blaine looked suddenly sad, like the answer would hurt them both.

"I don't know Kurt. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a gig as much as I did tonight and I know that's because you were there. Someone to watch the performance for me, to be affected by it for real. It's strange isn't it, this city?" Blaine suddenly looked out at the street outside, knowing the things he really wanted to say could only be left hanging. Kurt smiled.

"It is strange but beautiful nonetheless."