Blaine didnt think he had any more tears to cry but as he listened to Kurt finally speaking about Lily, his fondest memories and why it had been particularly hard for him to cope afterwards, Blaine cried, letting the tears fall.

"I never blamed you," Kurt said, wiping at his own face, "I never thought you were to blame for what happened, I just think I was so angry at the world for letting it happen to someone so perfect that I couldnt see straight. I saw you crying and I wished I could do that but all I could feel was the anger. I still feel like that if Im honest."

Blaine took Kurts hand as it rested along the back of the sofa and stroked the soft skin there. He smiled sadly in understanding.

"I couldnt understand how you couldnt cry, now I get it," he said and Kurt nodded. Blaine looked around at the big space around them.

"Its so obvious shes not here," Kurt said, following Blaines eyes. The space where she had once ran around screaming and laughing if she was being chased or playing with her toys, still remained but it had lost its magic.

"I can still hear the echo of her noise sometimes," Blaine said quietly, his voice threatening to break. "It was even worse when you left."

Kurt looked at Blaine, his eyes almost burning Blaine who stared back. He knew he was searching for something, maybe a reason to stay, maybe an answer. Kurt finally shook his head.

"I hate it here," he said simply and Blaine felt his heart sink and Kurt knew he would have to say more. "It just reminds me of her, everything reminds me of her."

"Id say we could move but I cant," Blaine said and he suddenly stood causing Kurt to jump slightly, his mouth opening in surprise. Blaine stood near the rug on the floor. "This reminds me of when she used to lie on her stomach and read her big books, admiring the pictures and dreaming of her future with a prince." Kurts eyes filled as he looked at the rug, his mind creating the image he had seen so many times before. Blaine walked to the swirly red mark on the wall.

"This was her first mark on the wall and although you went mad, we secretly thought she was some kind of genius because it resembled the sign of pi." Kurt smiled through his tears at the memory. Blaine walked to the display cabinet, which was now missing a chip of wood.

"This was where she hit her head after twirling in her tutu too much, desperate to show her dads her new dance."

Kurt now stood to where he knew Blaine would go next: the doorframe that had strange marks starting near the bottom and reaching higher as time wore on.

"And this was where we marked her height as she grew," Kurt said and Blaine looped his arm around Kurts waist, tethering Kurt to himself and remembering that Lily would never stay still while she was being measured.

"I dont want to leave," Blaine said quietly near Kurts ear, "I couldnt bear to let her go. I never want to forget."

Kurt didnt want to forget either, he had just believed it would be easier.

"Do you think it will ever get easier?" Kurt asked quietly, already knowing the answer but his blue clear eyes searched the warm honey that looked his way.

"It will be easier," Blaine said, "But well never forget and well always love her. She managed to do that, create love in the short time she was here."

Kurt nodded, feeling tears again prickle his eyes. He rested his head on Blaines shoulder and let them fall.

---

Kurt undressed as Blaine made them tea, some of his pyjamas and clothes still remaining in the wardrobe. He looked at the space before him, nothing really changing and he started to remove his clothes slowly. Blaine, thinking he had finished came into the room carrying tea.

"Sorry," Blaine said, his shoulders hitching, "I thought you would be changed, Ill just…" He started to turn, to prepare to leave, when Kurt laughed.

"Blaine, its nothing you havent seen before," he said.

"I know, I just wasnt sure where we were," Blaine said blushing slightly. It had been so long since they had been intimate like that he wasnt sure where to look or where to put the tea he had brought in.

"Put the tea down and come here," Kurt said, still in his underwear. He led Blaine to their bed and they faced each other, legs crossed, smiles tentative.

"Ive missed you," Blaine whispered, letting his voice betray how much he desperately meant what he said. Kurt smiled as Blaines eyes wandered over his body. He felt loved with just one glance and he lay back on the bed amongst the pillows. "Youve always been beautiful Kurt, nothings changed."

"I think maybe Im a little fragile," Kurt said. "Do you sometimes feel like you might break?" His voice wobbled and he could feel tears threaten at his eyes again. Blaines heart broke just a tiny bit more as Kurt admitted what Blaine had been worried about for so long.

"I think weve already been broken," he said sadly, "But it doesnt mean we cant come back together again. Let me try."

Blaine came closer to face Kurt as they rested their arms against the headboard. Kurt nodded and tentatively let his fingers trail patterns along Blaines bare arm.

Blaine knew what he was asking and he silently removed his polo shirt, lifting it above his arms. Kurt let himself really look and nothing had changed. Blaines skin was still lightly tanned, his muscles small but firm and Kurt touched again, this time coming closer and Blaines eyes closed as Kurt brought his lips to his shoulder. He kissed gently, barely brushing his lips along the soft skin and Blaine let himself feel and remember. They hadnt done this in so long, no touching, no intimacy. When they had changed for bed it had been perfunctory nakedness, but now their eyes roamed and their fingers touched. They explored again, showing just how much they still loved each other with their lips, their fingers. Blaine sighed. This was where he belonged; this is what he had craved for so long.

"Kurt," he breathed, not wanting to close his eyes but feeling overwhelmed with pleasure. Kurts fingers tugged at the waistband of his jeans and Blaine stood quickly to remove them whilst Kurt shimmied out of his boxers.

"Fuck Kurt, youre still so beautiful, look at you," Blaine said, staring nearly open-mouthed at Kurt spread out on the bed.

"I cant," Kurt said, a smile tugging at his lips, "Im too busy desperate to really look at you." And Blaine remembered and took off his boxers too. Kurt smiled.

Blaine hurriedly kneeled again on the bed to fully look into Kurts eyes, holding nothing back, completely naked and opposite Kurt who did the same. They let their hands rest between them and nearly at the same time, knuckles brushed against cocks and gasps of pleasure escaped.

"This is going to be over embarrassingly quickly," Blaine said sheepishly and a slight blush crept up along Kurts neck as he continued to stroke Blaine lovingly.

"Will you make love to me?" Kurt said his lower lip in between his teeth. He really was baring all, putting his heart on the line, suddenly afraid that Blaine would say it wasnt what he wanted, that Kurt wasnt what he wanted. Blaine beamed, his smile so wide that Kurt felt the worry ebb away.

"I thought youd never ask," Blaine whispered and he brought Kurt closer to himself as he laid them down, facing each other sideways. He lovingly stroked the skin along Kurts side and back, dipping lower and lower until Kurt was mewling in pleasure, keeping his eyes open with difficulty. Kurt handed Blaine the lube as he rummaged in their bedside drawer and lay on his stomach, causing Blaine to pause just a moment to really look at the perfect naked form of his husband. Blaine spread his cheeks apart and a lube-coated finger circled his entrance lightly. Kurt gasped and closed his eyes. He had waited so long. When Blaines finger pushed inside, he moaned loudly, unable to contain the sounds that were coming up his throat. Blaine waited, gave him time, kissed the back of his shoulders soothingly before continuing. Blaine soon pushed his finger all the way in. The burn was so good, so intense. Blaine gently stretched him, listening to Kurts strangled moans, groaning when Kurt started thrusting his ass back towards him, trying to get even more from the three fingers Blaine had buried in him. He couldnt remember the last time they had done this but Blaine knew it would be special.

"Blaine I need you," Kurt gasped as Blaine went just that tiny bit further and Blaine sat back, lubed himself and maneuvered Kurts hips so he could enter. He still loved that they didnt wear condoms anymore, just them, nothing more, no barriers in the way.

Blaine lined up with his entrance and then moved forward. Kurt moaned brokenly. Oh how hed missed this. Blaine kept going until he was half inside of him and then waited, holding onto Kurts hips tightly. He kissed the base of his neck, stroking along his back to ease the pain.

"I love you, Kurt," he whispered against his neck and Kurt moaned again.

"I love you, too," Kurt whispered, feeling finally complete. He was home, right where he belonged.

They found a rhythm that rocked Kurt until he was also moaning in rhythm and Blaine kept pounding into him until he was hitting that spot over and over again.

"I need to see you," Kurt said suddenly and he tilted his head so their lips could meet. Blaine moaned against his mouth and his hips stuttered as he came hard, rocking into Kurt repeatedly. As Blaine finished, Kurt let out a loud moan and turned so he lay on his back, looking up at the beautiful sight of post-orgasmic Blaine.

"I need to see you," Kurt repeated, "I love you so much."

He moaned as Blaine sunk lower, leaving a trail of kisses until he took Kurt fully into his mouth. Blaine hummed as if he was born to always suck Kurts cock and it took only a few gentle licks before Kurt was coming hard down Blaines throat and clutching at his hair.

"Fuck…" Blaine breathed as he let Kurts softening cock pop out of his mouth, "Id forgotten how glorious you taste."

Kurt smiled, completely sated and blissfully unaware of pain and heartbreak. Blaine plopped onto the bed next to him. After a while he faced him, his eyes now soft as his breathing returned to normal.

"Ive missed you so much," Blaine whispered, "Thank you for coming back to me."

Kurt turned to face him, his eyes glistening.

"I never want to leave again Blaine," he said quietly, "I know I need to talk to you when things are tough, I know I need to let you in but please…"

"What Kurt? Id do anything," Blaine said, his voice pleading.

"Dont let me crumble again, dont let me sink," Kurt said almost desperately. Blaine shook his head.

"Were in this together," Blaine said as he clutched Kurts hand between their bodies. "Come what may."

"Come what may," Kurt smiled, the ghost of a song they used to sing together just at the corner of their minds. Blaine hugged him close, scrunching his eyes shut against the world that had threatened their happiness and tried to crush their love. Pain could never be removed or forgotten but at least there was love and they would take what they could while there was still time.