If Blaine had thought he knew loneliness before he met Kurt then he was wrong. Nothing could prepare him for the echo of his now empty house and the patter of the rain as it fell on his windows. Quinn had chosen this moment in time to constantly stay with Rupert, too engrossed in her new blossoming love to think that Blaine might be alone. She assumed that he would be spending all his time with Kurt and it was only after a week staying with Rupert that she returned to fetch a few more clothes to find Blaine playing idly on his piano and singing without any feeling.

"Blaine?" Quinn cooed from the door as she entered. He carried on playing; barely even registering that someone had come into his space. It wasn't Kurt; it didn't matter.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, as he didn't look up. "I thought you'd be at work."

"I was," he said still tinkering on the keys. "I left as soon as I was finished."

"But you never finish before 7," she said, looking around at the unkempt house. "Hasn't Magda been to clean?"

"I sent her away," he said simply. Quinn tidied as she went around the room but she finally stopped at the piano, looked at Blaine properly, her voice now softer.

"Blaine, what's wrong?" She took in his red-rimmed eyes and waxy skin. It was clear he hadn't slept in days and although he was still in his work suit, it was crumpled like he hadn't placed it properly in the wardrobe. He finally looked up at her, his honey-coloured eyes wide, his gaze so lost that Quinn instantly knew it meant Kurt and she hugged him close, his face nestled in her chest. The feeling of arms around him that weren't Kurt brought it all back, how he'd lost the one thing that meant anything to him and he let out a dry choked sob.

After a while Quinn continued to rub his back but was determined to get to the bottom of it all. "What happened? Why isn't Kurt here?"

"He left," he said weakly, "I told him everything." He couldn't let the tears fall anymore; he deserved this.

"Oh Blaine," Quinn said, realisation dawning on her face. She silently nudged Blaine along on the piano stool and sat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. She instantly felt guilty that her week had been so amazing, that she had loved finally waking up each morning with someone that she loved. She let the silence envelop them for a while but then the thought that Blaine had let his suffering continue for even a week made her sit up.

"Why are you still here? You've left your job, you don't have to live the lie anymore," she said.

He weakly shook his head as if it was all too much. He couldn't do it, he couldn't get his hopes up when he knew the truth.

"Blaine this is too much," she said, "I think you need to talk to your mom. You need to finally come out."

Blaine's expression was frozen, Quinn's eyes darting over his face to see if anything she had said had made an impression. The thought of finally coming out of the closet, finally admitting his love for another man seemed so alien, he knew he didn't have the courage to do it. His shoulders sagged.

Quinn was annoyed. She had seen him taking it all as if he deserved this pain, she had seen him cover up his true self countless times and she could no longer bear to see him so pathetic. She stood up sharply.

"This is your life Blaine!" she shouted causing him to flinch. "Your life! Not your mother's and definitely not your father's. You're going to look back when you're old and grey and know that you wasted it all; that you let a great guy like Kurt slip out of your life, that you experienced love and threw it away, all because of fear. I can't bear to see you like this anymore."

She huffed away and despite the telling off, the thought that he would be completely alone again threw him into a panic.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to the man I'm in love with," she said, "I will marry him one day Blaine, I can just tell, so if you won't divorce me for Kurt than I will divorce you."

"But…"

"No," she said sternly, "No, you don't get to decide my happiness anymore. You'd be a fool to let Kurt go." He nodded, knowing that it was the truth and her expression softened. "Don't let him go Blaine," she said, "He'll wait for you but not forever, I know Kurt. He feels deeply and he allows it to hurt him deeply but you could break him. I see the way he looks at you, like you're everything and I know you feel the same." Blaine's eyes light up with just a touch of hope. "Make something of yourself and beg him to take you back, speak to your mother, anything just don't let yourself go like this."

She walked to the door a few minutes later with a bag full of more clothes but she stopped by the door.

"What happened to the vase?" she asked, noting the sudden space and Blaine looked up in surprise.

"It broke," he said, and she noticed the gaps where other figurines had been.

"Hmm, hmm," she hummed, "I guess they were pretty ugly." He looked up to see her sly smile, knowing that she was starting to guess what had really happened.

"Take care Blaine," she said kindly, "I'll see you in a few days."

The sudden panic that she would leave him alone made Blaine ask her to wait. "Can I play tonight?" he asked, "At the club?"

"Of course," she said, "Rupert will be there, it wouldn't be the same without you."

She blew him a kiss and was gone, leaving just a trace of her perfume hovering in the air. He looked down at the black and white keys below his cold fingers and suddenly he was disgusted at himself. He immediately took a shower, his head full of ideas, full of things to do and he pulled on his best outfit and knew the first thing was to grab a good cup of coffee and use the early evening to his advantage.

---

It was easy really and it left Blaine wondering why he hadn't done this all along. Every bar or club he sang at for fun, or when the mood took him, recognised him when he entered and met with him easily. It took a few days but eventually Blaine had regular contacts, even regular slots where he could sing and play as long he chose songs fitting to the place and the clientele. They were prepared to pay a reasonable amount for his services but Blaine knew he would be relying on Quinn's income for a little while, a thought that he knew would annoy his father. The thought instantly made him think of his mother and he arranged an early dinner with her one evening on their own.

"I don't know," Elizabeth said, a hint of nervousness to her voice that gave Blaine the impression she was expecting Charles to be behind her listening in.

"But you said dad wouldn't be in for hours and it'll save us eating by ourselves." Blaine was insistent and she conceded, thinking there was no harm in a dinner with her son.

He kissed her on the cheek, as was his custom when they met. He took out her chair for her as they were seated at a favourite restaurant of his.

"Where's Quinn tonight?" Elizabeth asked when they were perusing the menu.

"Out on a business dinner," he said, the lie easily coming out of his mouth but as their appetisers arrived he suddenly felt stupid for carrying on the pretence.

"Actually mom, Quinn is living with her boyfriend now, Rupert."

"What do you mean?" she asked in shock, her mouth wide open.

"We live very separate lives now, we actually plan to divorce soon."

Her face fell in disappointment but she looked so pitiably at Blaine that he was surprised at the kind gesture of her hand on his on the table.

"I'm so sorry Blaine," she said kindly, "The end of any marriage is always so sad."

"Oh don't worry, I'm perfectly okay," he said calmly.

"No Blaine," she said indignant that he was taking this so sweetly, letting her off the hook. "Quinn has done a deplorable thing, ruined a perfectly lovely marriage simply because she couldn't keep her legs together." She whispered the last part conspiratorially only so Blaine could hear, the disgust evident in her voice. He laughed a little ruefully.

"Oh mother but I really don't mind," he said a chuckle in his voice and she was stunned into silence. Blaine swallowed, knowing this was the moment.

"You and I both know that I'm gay, that I always have been," he stated. "Quinn has known all along, she only agreed to marry me thinking it was temporary."

"I don't understand…" she spluttered.

"Yes you do," he said simply, "You remember that time I came to you about that guy at school, gushing about him like I was a lovesick teenager. You shut me up pretty quickly when father came home." He spat out the word as if it burned his tongue, so false, so meaningless.

"I think, maybe we should go home," she said realising the tide was turning and she looked around at the respectable restaurant, afraid and small.

"No," he said a confidence coming out that he didn't know he possessed. His mother reminded him so much of himself, so small and insignificant, so used to her opinion being inconsequential. He wouldn't allow the façade to continue any longer.

"It needs to be said. I love a guy. I love a man named Kurt and I've been foolish and stupid and I've let him slip away all because you refuse to admit the truth."

Her eyes were wide, watery with unshed tears but she refused to blink and let them fall. "What truth?" she whispered.

"He hits you mommy," he said, just as quietly and the childish word causes her to gasp more than anything else. A tear finally falls. "I saw when I was younger and I've lived a lie ever since in the hope that he never would ever again."

She shakes her head slowly as if the very idea that she is the cause of all of this misery is too much.

"Did you know he hit me too once?" he asked already knowing the answer. "He hated me, he always did. The thought that I might be 'gay' just tipped him over the edge. I was never what he wanted me to be, just a perpetual disappointment."

"He was so happy when you married Quinn," she finally said though she hated to admit it.

"But it was such a lie."

She nodded, finally accepting it. Blaine let the silence surround them, still letting hesitant glances flit between them as the waiter removed their barely eaten appetisers. They made a show of ordering main meals then they were left alone again.

"Does he still hit you?'

Her mouth opened as if she was going to refute that he had ever hit her but she thought better of it. She nodded, small and only once, finally accepting. He closed his eyes.

"How often?"

"Not often, just…" she started but he looked up sharply, insisting she speak only truth. Her mouth closed. "At least once a month," she said. "Only when I've done something wrong or he's gotten angry. I try to stay out of his way."

He sighed. He thought that it had stopped, that his sacrifice had been for a purpose but there was nothing he could do. It still continued and he hated his father with a passion in that moment.

He opened his eyes.

"You need to leave him," he said. Her eyes became wide and she frantically shook her head. "Yes, you will leave him." She had never seen Blaine like this, so determined. "I will help you, but you must leave him and come and live with me or I can set you up in a place that he will never find out about. If he comes near you, then ring the police."

"I can't Blaine," she said weakly. He knew that he was replacing the tyrant in her life by forcing her to leave but he knew it was for the best. He grabbed her hand as it rested on the table.

"You can't let yourself go," he said echoing the words Quinn had warned him with a few days ago. "I've spent too long in his shadow, waiting for acceptance, hoping that if I live life a certain way he will love me but it's not enough. It will never be enough. We can only live the way we were born to live mom."

She looked over the face of her son, so earnest and mature and she wondered where the years had gone. She was no longer staring at her son, eager and happy to be singing in his high school glee club, falling in love with a guy from school. He was older now, his eyes had lost their spark and he looked world-weary but just now, with the promise of a new future and a new lease of life there was a fire burning there, if only she allowed it.

"Ok," she said, "I'll leave."

"Do you want me to be there?"

"No," she said, "I think it will be best if I do this alone. It needs to be done."

---

It seemed relatively easy. Elizabeth left, moved into a hotel with the little money that she had and slipped out, Charles not noticing until the following day. He tried to contact her on the phone but she blocked his number and he knew what had happened and who to blame. He knocked loudly on the door to his son's house that morning before work.

"Blaine! Where is she?" he shouted through the door and although Blaine had the intention of going into work today he was taking his time in getting ready. Barely out of the shower he hastily put a robe around his body and opened the door to a red-faced Charles.

"Where is she?" he said storming in and looking around the now impeccable house as if she might be hiding in a nook or cranny.

"She's not here," Blaine said simply, "She's gone."

"I know she's gone," he said angrily, "But where is she?"

"I won't tell you," Blaine said, "Just know that she has gone."

Charles turned sharply, taking the time to assess Blaine's expression. "What's happened to you?" he said scathingly. "I mean you were never a man before, but hiding your mother? That's beneath even you, surely?"
"My mother is safe and alone and she won't ever go near you again," Blaine said confidently. "Nothing has happened to me but I won't hide any longer."

"I trust Quinn's at work?" he asked, looking around. "She knew what was good for her, she always does the right thing. Why she married you I'll never know," he spat, still looking around as if his wife might suddenly appear.

"She did the most loving thing she could think of marrying me and I'll never be able to thank her enough for sacrificing her own happiness because I was too scared to make my own."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm gay Dad and you've known all along, so has Quinn. We intend to divorce."

Charles' eyes went a stony blue, almost challenging Blaine. "You're not gay, we raised you right, you married Quinn."

"I have always been gay!" he shouts and Charles flinches at the sudden noise and his face turns grey. "I have never loved Quinn that way and now I choose to live my life, my way. I want nothing to do with you. Get out!" He spat the last of his words, desperate to say what he had always wanted to say, in case he would let fear take over. He instantly felt relief; a weight had lifted.

Charles looked disgusted.

"You always were pathetic, it wouldn't surprise me if you were gay, your mother's influence I'm sure." He started to walk to the door, his fists clinched at his side. "You can tell your mother that if she wants a divorce that she won't get a penny from me."

Blaine almost let the comments slide, thinking it would be best, stupid to retort but he bit his lip no longer.

"I think mom deserves all the money in the world for putting up with you as long as she did," Blaine said scathingly. "I think perhaps the police would be interested in how often she was hurt at your hands."

Charles turned on his heel, letting his fist come closer to Blaine's face. "Why you little - "

Blaine stepped back.

"It's wasted on me," Blaine said, "Tell it to your attorney." And Charles left, leaving only coldness that Blaine knew in that instant would only be replaced by someone else, someone special that would make his house feel like a home.

---

"Kurt, come on, you'd said you'd let me celebrate," Rachel whined.

"Yes Rachel but not there," Kurt looked weary. He was making honey and lemon tea for his best friend as if it was a chore, no longer as ecstatic as he was about her second call-back for 'Funny Girl'.

"But it's Broadway," she crooned, "My favourite role, my favourite theatre. We have to celebrate and Quinn will invite all her friends and it'll be fantastic."

Kurt didn't want to say what was holding him back. He hadn't heard from Blaine, not even when he was about to open his boutique and his preview bookings were flooding in. He knew Blaine was about to leave his father's job, hopefully starting to live his own dreams but the thought that Blaine hadn't even tried to get in touch hurt him. Just the thought that he might be there tonight was enough to cause Kurt's stomach to sink and his heart to ache. It would be too painful, just a reminder, as Blaine was sure to sit next to Quinn, that he was forever out of his reach. Blaine would never be his.

"He'll come back to you," Rachel whispered near his ear in the kitchen and he jumped slightly, wondering when she had gotten so close. She was startlingly perceptive and he closed his eyes against the pain. "You gave him an ultimatum and he has to make the decision to follow you, chase his dream. He has to come back to you."

He turned and sighed. "But what if he doesn't?" he said, tears threatening to fall. Just right then, he thought, if he saw Blaine now he might just kiss him, let him do what he wanted, their future be damned. He'd punished them long enough.

"Then he's a fool," Rachel said simply, "And doesn't deserve you."

Oh but he does, Kurt thought.

---

The bar was steeped in a low blue glow that seemed to emanate from the piano, causing Blaine to stand out in the darkness. He was playing again tonight, the bar hiring him instantly when he had asked. He knew he wouldn't get much of a break tonight and knowing that Quinn would be there celebrating successes and drinking champagne made him lower his eyes steadfastly to the keys that were always solid and dependable beneath his fingers.

With the change in his circumstances he had alerted Quinn immediately and she now made no pretence that her marriage to Blaine was a happy one. She openly kissed and hugged Rupert close as they spoke to other successful people, revelling in their love and enjoying their freedom. Her friends weren't really surprised but Blaine still cut a lonely sad figure at the piano, lost without his own love and not knowing how to change the situation. Could he just contact Kurt and tell him what had happened? That he was finally brave enough to come out after all these years. He just felt pathetic that it had taken this long in the first place. He wasn't deserving of Kurt and he was desperately trying, with all his bar gigs and living of dreams, to be worthy of him. He let himself indulge in one pitiful song before he knew the bar staff would expect his usual happy jazz.

Sunlight comes creeping in

Illuminates our skin

We watch the day go by

Stories of all we did

It made me think of you

It made me think of you

He knew that all the moments with Kurt amounted to his whole life, how he hadn't really lived before he had met him. It felt clichéd but it really felt like Oz when he was with Kurt.

Under a trillion stars

We danced on top of cars

Took pictures of the stage

So far from where we are

They made me think of you

They made me think of you

Oh lights go down

In the moment we're lost and found

I just wanna be by your side

If these wings could fly

For the rest of our lives

Kurt and Rachel entered amidst chaos and hugs and kisses that were too much. Drinks were bought and Rachel was reveling in her stories of auditions and success too when Kurt switched off and saw Blaine, playing simply in the near dark of the stage.

I'm in a foreign state

My thoughts they slip away

My words are leaving me

They caught an aeroplane

Because I thought of you

Just from the thought of you

There was a moment when Kurt thought Blaine had noticed him, a smile drawn on his lips as he played but as he looked closer, walking towards the stage, he noticed Blaine's eyes were closed. He was remembering and Kurt suddenly longed to be there, wherever Blaine was imagining.

Oh lights go down

In the moment we're lost and found

I just wanna be by your side

If these wings could fly

Oh damn these walls

In the moment we're ten feet tall

And how you told me after it all

We'd remember tonight

For the rest of our lives

If these wings could fly

Blaine opened his eyes and they widened as soon as he noticed Kurt, stood against the crowd that were unfeeling, not noticing the atmosphere change. Kurt watched, his expression kind but his eyes remaining neutral.

Oh lights go down

In the moment we're lost and found

I just wanna be by your side

If these wings could fly

Oh damn these walls

In the moment we're ten feet tall

And how you told me after it all

We'd remember tonight

For the rest of our lives

There was a final promise in those last words and no matter what was said between them, Blaine needed to hear it. He told his audience that he would back after a short break and he walked closer to Kurt, a sudden light after the darkness of the stage. Kurt smiled as he came closer.

"You work here?" he asked and Blaine nodded and smiled that he could now at least say that. "You left your father's job?" Blaine nodded again, coming closer to grip Kurt's arms, afraid he was merely a mirage.

"I was going to get in touch, I was going to say…" Blaine stuttered, his courage failing him and Kurt smiled brightly.

"I've missed you," Kurt said, a hint of sadness in his voice though his eyes twinkled that he was finally seeing Blaine again. Blaine's gaze softened, he forgot all that he was going to say and he pulled Kurt closer, desperate to feel and taste again. Their lips touched, soft lips, warm hands around waists and sighs. He was finally where he should have been all along. They parted after a while, breathing heavy, eyes clouded. "God I've missed you," Blaine breathed and Kurt smiled. He turned to find Rupert and Quinn watching them, their poses nearly matching Kurt and Blaine's.

"It's all over?" Kurt asked, indicating Quinn and Blaine nodded.

"My mom left my dad," Blaine said, "I'm finally free." He hesitated, not sure if Kurt would want him now after all that had happened. "I understand if you've found someone else…"

"Don't be silly," Kurt said pushing his arm slightly, "There was only ever you."

"I thought maybe you wouldn't wait, I didn't know how to get in touch after everything," Blaine said weakly and Kurt tugged at him insistently.

"Don't you get it Blaine?" he said coming closer as the bar got louder. "It will always be you." Blaine felt a warmth spread through him as Kurt's words brought him to life. "I was just waiting for you to come back to me so we can start our life like it was meant to be lived. Just you and me."

"Just you and me," Blaine echoed happily.