The phone rang several times before it picked up. A loud thud came from the other line, followed by Blaines voice.

"Hello?" Kurt said into the phone.

"Kurt! Its you!" Blaine said loudly into the phone. "I dropped my phone... Hang on."

"Okay..." Kurt waited.

There a brief silence and then Blaine said, "Im so glad you called."

"You are?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. He knew Blaine was getting comfortable with him, but this was weird. There was something odd about Blaines voice. "Are you...  are you drunk?"

"It seems like it," Blaine said. 

He thought back to the coffee shop, when Blaine had admitted to having a hangover, using it as an excuse to skip work. Did Blaine make a habit out of this or had Kurt just caught him at a bad time.?

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Why?" Blaine repeated.

"Why are you drunk?" Kurt said. He had just been with Blaine four hours ago. What had he done in that time?

"Probably for the reason youre calling at eleven at night," Blaine slurred.

"You dont know why Im calling," Kurt started.

"Oh yes, I do. Its why Im drunk. You couldnt resist the feelings you had on that piano bench," Blaine hiccuped

His phone hit the floor. Kurts mouth hung open and he stared at the wall across from him. Had Blaine just admitted to having feelings for him? Was this just drunk nonsense? Why would Blaine have gotten drunk over what happened at the piano?

"No, Blaine, I was calling to confirm our meeting tomorrow. I wanted to check with you before you got too busy tomorrow," Kurt said, picking the phone up off the floor.. 

"Whats wrong?" Rachel whispered, sitting down on the couch. She curled up next to him with a cup of tea in her hand.

Kurt waved her off. He listened to Blaine in the background, talking to himself. "Where did I put that? Oh, there it is."

"Blaine," Kurt said loudly.

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked nervously. 

"Im great! I realized how happy you made me tonight, and I couldnt deal with  being happy, so I drank! Now Im  just looking for the rest of my drink..." Blaine trailed off.

"Blaine, stop," Kurt yelled into the phone. 

"Yes dear?" he hiccuped again.

"Im going to text you in the morning to remind you of this. I want you to meet me at Venice Beach tomorrow at two in the afternoon. Can you do that?" he said slowly.

Silence. Was he still there?

"Hello?"

"Three o-clock, sure!" Blaine said.

"No, Blaine. Two," Kurt was practically yelling into the phone now. When Blaine muttered something he couldnt understand, Kurt added, "Why dont you go get some sleep, Blaine."

"Yes maam," Blaine said, just before the phone clicked.

Kurt pulled his own phone away from his ear and stared at it wonder. "That was the strangest phone call I ever had." He set it down and turned to Rachel.

"What happened?" Rachel asked.

"I think Blaine just told me he has feelings for me."

Do you remember when were meeting today?

Kurt and Rachel sat at the breakfast table. He set his phone down on the table and watched his best friend pour herself a bowl of cereal.  "Should I confront Blaine about our phone call last night?" he asked. 

"I dont know," Rachel said, taking a bite of her cereal. "I dont think he meant to tell you that. As far as we know, Blaines not even out of the closet, if he really is gay. He was drunk. We cant hold him to anything. He might have just been caught up in the moment of everything and got carried away."

"Maybe..." Kurt pouted. He wished they could just get their feelings out. Before, he had questioned how he felt about Blaine. However, watching Blaine play that piano so effortlessly, Kurt was pretty sure he was slowly learning to care for the boy hidden behind those walls. He wished he could test those feelings with Blaine, but he didnt know how Blaine really did feel about their situation.

"I didnt think we made plans yet. 

"Do you think he forgot about your conversation from last night?" Rachel asked, when Kurt showed him the message. "If he did, you have to let it go. You know he didnt mean for that to come out."

Kurt stared at the message. It wasnt fair. Blaine had told him he had feelings, and Kurt wanted to act on that. He couldnt carry on like nothing had happened, when something had. 

Venice Beach. 2 pm. We talked about it when I called you last night.

"Are you really going to do this to him?" Rachel asked.

"i have to," Kurt said. "I cant let it go. Ill always wonder what could have happened, if I dont find out."

"Dont let him hurt you," Rachel reached across the table and grabbed his hand. "Hes a jerk, Kurt. Im just not sure youre ready to have your heart broken over someone like him."

Staring into her eyes, Kurt said firmly, "Rachel, believe me, I know what Im getting myself into. Hes not so bad, once you get to know him. I want to try this."

"Your phone buzzed. I think Blaines got your answer," Rachel replied.

Oh.... Okay. Ill see you then.

"See? Blaines not shying away from this. Im not going to either," Kurt stood up and walked around to her. Kissing her cheek, he said, "I promise, itll be fine."

Venice Beach was full of vendors and shops. The boardwalk was crowded with people, pushing by to get somewhere in a hurry. it was a beautiful day, and Kurt felt proud of himself for taking Blaine out for a change.

Kurt and Blaine made their way down the boardwalk. Kurt couldnt help but notice the amount of people staring in their direction as they passed. "This isnt going to get people talking, is it?" Kurt asked, when a teenage girl walked by, staring at them. Her eyes grew wide, and she turned back to stare at them when they passed her.

"i hope not," Blaine mumbled.

"Can we go sit somewhere and talk?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Blaine nodded. He led Kurt across the boardwalk to the sand, where it was less crowded. They took their shoes off and carried them across the beach. Blaine found a shaded tree and sat down, Kurt followed suit.

"Blaine, can I ask you something?" Kurt started. 

"Sure," Blaine stared out across the beach at the tourists around them.

Kurt wasnt really sure how to start the question. it had been on his mind since Blaine had first arrived at Rachels apartment. The desire to ask had increased after the phone call from the previous night. He knew Rachel was right, it wouldnt be fair to out Blaine like this, but his desire to know more was consuming his every thought.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" he finally asked.

Blaine let out a soft laugh, "no, I dont."

"Does that have to do with the fact that you push people away?" Kurt said, studying Blaines features. He was so good at hiding his expressions that it was nearly impossible to read. Kurt still thought he could try to break through that.

"In a way, yes," Blaine said shortly. He continued  to watch the tourists around him. Was he avoiding Kurts gaze? There wasnt any change in expression. It didnt tell him anything.

"In a way?"

"Kurt, is there a reason youre asking?" Blaine said abruptly, finally looking at him.

There was. Seeing Blaines natural chemistry with the piano was something he couldnt get out of his mind. It had been breath-taking, and Kurt still felt breathless. This was driving him crazy. If he was going to have feelings for Blaine, he had to know he was placing his heart in a safe place.

"Its a part of getting to know each other," Kurt said, changing his answer. "For example, I dont have a boyfriend. Ive never really been anyones boyfriend."

"Youd drive anyone crazy," Blaine replied.

Kurt nodded, "I would."

"All those hormonal teenagers around, and you couldnt find anyone?" Blaine asked.

"I was the only openly gay kid at my school. There was this kid at my school that bullied me... He kissed me once, and then threatened to kill me if I told anyone. I never did tell anyone. I spent all of my high school career terrified of him," he shook his head, shuddering at the thought. "So, no, there was no boyfriend."

"You never found anyone in New York?" Blaine asked casually, running the sand through his thin fingers.

"No," Kurt said. "I went on a couple dates with this guy named Adam. It never really worked out. And then when Rachel moved here, I roomed with this guy named Elliot. Were friends, but I dont think wed work as a couple."

"You should give him a chance," Blaine encouraged him.

"I dont think I can," Kurt said quietly. 

"Why?" Blaine asked, looking up from the ground. He turned his body to face Kurt. "If you guys are good friends, you might be surprised how well youd work as a couple."

"I cant because..." Kurt hesitated. He took a deep breath and forced himself to continue. "I cant  give him any chances when Im confused about somebody else."

"Oh."

"You dont remember our phone call last night, do you?" Kurt said. When Blaine didnt respond, Kurt continued, "I called to ask you about meeting here today, and you were a little..."

"Drunk," Blaine finished.

"Yeah."

"I said something Im going to regret, didnt I?" Blaine sighed.

He knew he shouldnt do this. It wasnt fair to Blaine. Befriending him had been to make Blaine feel better about himself. Kurt never meant to force things out of Blaine, when he wasnt ready. That wouldnt make him feel any better. This was all wrong.

No," he lied.

"My character from Better Brothers had this best friend," Blaine said, glancing down at his fidgeting hands again.

"Amelia," Kurt replied.

Standing up, Blaine put his shoes back on and Kurt followed. If this was something Blaine wanted to discuss privately, they had to move. There were too many people around.

"When we were thirteen, I tried going on a date with Cecelia Robins, the actress that played Amelia. We were only thirteen, so it wasnt much of a date, but it was terrible," he said, leading Kurt back down the boardwalk.

"What happened?" Kurt encouraged him to continue.

No response. Blaine simply stared ahead of them, focused on where he was going. Kurt couldnt tell if he was simply avoiding the question, or he wasnt sure how to answer it.

"Blaine, you dont have to tell me anything," Kurt said.

Looking into Kurts eyes, Blaine let out a long, dreaded sigh, and quietly said, "I realized I didnt like her."

"True love doesnt always blossom at thirteen," Kurt joked. The least he could do was make the situation light for him.

"It wasnt that," Blaine spoke in a voice so quiet, Kurt had to move closer to hear him.

Kurt didnt say anything. What could he say? The small bit of hope in him was hoping Blaine would admit that he didnt play for that team. Why? Because a selfish part of him wanted a chance with Blaine. He was so pleased with the person Blaine had been turning into, that Kurt couldnt imagine losing the chance to be with him.

However, that wasnt right. He had to give him a chance to explain his real reason. It could have bee a number of things. The girl might have had problems, she might have been a snob, or maybe she had a bad taste in fashion. 

To Kurts surprise, his first guess was much more accurate.

"I realized Cecelia and I would never work. I..." Blaine hesitated. He stopped outside Kurts car and stared at the door handle. He seemed to be in deep thought. When he tugged the door open, he didnt speak until they were both seated in the car with the doors shut. "Im more like you than you know."

"Youre..." Kurt paused, his hand hovering over the ignition.

"What did I tell you last night?"

"That you realized I made you happy, and you had to drink those feelings away," Kurt said quietly, avoiding his eyes, He shifted the car in reverse and began to head back to Blaines. He knew this was embarrassing for him. Kurt didnt want to make this harder than it had to be.

"Damn my drunken state. Im always so truthful," Blaine mumbled.

"Always?" Kurt asked.

He nodded.

Kurt felt his stomach flip. Blaine was admitting to his feelings. "I see," he said. What else could he say? At least now he would know how things might turn out between them.

They sat in silence for a long time. Blaine stared out the window in deep thought, while Kurt used the road ahead of him as a distraction. It was an intense silence, and Kurt wasnt sure he wanted to be the one to break it. He didnt know how Blaine was feeling. Was he angry? Was he scared? Was he regretting all of this?

When he did speak, his voice was hoarse. "Kurt, Im begging you not to tell anyone. No one knows. Ive been accused of it for years, and its been so hard to deny  Im just not ready for people to know yet," he said.

"Youve never told anyone?" Kurt asked, thinking about his own closet days. It had been such a burden. Finally telling someone took the weight off his shoulders, no matter how much people hated him for it. He could finally be himself.

"I made the mistake of coming home from my date with Cecelia and telling my dad that I never wanted to go on another date with a girl," Blaine let out a dry laugh. "That was stupid."

"Just like that?"

"She tried to kiss me. it was... weird," Blaine admitted.

"How did your dad take it?" Kurt asked, pulling up in front of Blaines place. He parked the car and waited for Blaine to move..

Biting his lip, Blaine took a shaky breath and said, "he resented me for it. He hit me and told me that I was a disgrace to the name we built for our family." He swung the car door open and quickly went to his front door, like he couldnt wait to get away from the possibility of anyone seeing them.

"Are you serious?" Kurt shut the door behind him.

"My dad and I had already started having problems. We argued a lot, and this only made it worse," Blaine whispered. Shoulders slumped, he kept his back to Kurt.

"I had no idea," Kurt said.

Blaine turned to face him. A tear rolled down his cheek, and Kurt reached over and took his hand. Blaine continued, "He told me that no one else could know. He told me hed send me back to my mom in Ohio if I did anything to mess things up for us, for Cooper."

"Your mom was still in Ohio?" Kurt asked

"Yeah, they ended up divorced. She was so miserable. My mom had turned into nothing but a drunk," Blaine choked out. 

Tugging on Blaines hand, Kurt led him over to the couch and sat down next to him. He wiped a tear off Blaines cheek and quietly said, "Im so sorry, Blaine."

"Yesterday, I was so hard on you for trying to tune into my emotions and hear i am making a mess out of them," Blaine ran a hand over his face, trying to calm himself down.

"Its okay to cry," Kurt said softly. "Youve kept this bottled up for a long time." 

"I didnt even want to tell you any of this," Blaine told him.

"You dont have to tell me anything," Kurt reassured him. "None of this is a commitment. I dont need to know what happened between you and your dad. I dont need to know anything."

"But you need to know something," Blaines hazel eyes were so distant, so far gone. Tears threatened to fall again.

"I dont," Kurt said. Guilt was settling in. This was his fault. He should have just let it go. Kurt didnt know Blaine was going to get so upset about it. If anything, he expected Blaine to get mad.

"I cant be close to you, Kurt," Blaine said, glancing at the floor. "I cant let you in that much. Yesterday came too close for that. We cant go there again."

"Why?"

Taking a deep breath, Blaine gave himself time to gain some of his strength back. When he was ready, he said, "I spent half my life disappointing my father. I spent most of my life pretending to be somebody Im not for the media. Thats all I am. Im nothing but a fraud, and I cant be something else for you."

"Blaine, you need to let someone in. You cant hide forever. Its going to destroy you from the inside. Im pretty sure it already has done damage," Kurt gave Blaines hand a gentle squeeze. He lifted it and placed it on Blaines chest. "Do you feel your heart beat?"

"Yeah," Blaine said after a minute.

"Youre alive, Blaine. Youre just as human as anyone else. You deserve to be happy, to be free, and to be whoever you want to be," Kurt gave him a sad smile.

Blaine bowed his head. He had nothing to say to this. He looked so helpless. 

Feeling the urge to comfort Blaine„ to do what he could for him,  Kurt placed his hand under Blaines chin and lifted his face until their eyes met. Blue eyes pierced tear-filled hazel eyes. For a moment, they simply stared at each other,  and then Kurt leaned forward and gently touched his lips to Blaines.

He didnt pull back. Blaine kissed him. His hand cupped the back of Kurts head and he leaned into him, deepening the kiss. He was still crying, but he didnt pull back. Kurt wrapped his free hand around Blaines waist, pulling him closer

"Blaine," Kurt whispered, when Blaine suddenly broke away from him.

Breathing heavily, Blaine rested his forehead against Kurts, their eyes never leaving the others.

"You deserve to be kissed like that," Kurt said softly.

"I dont deserve your kindness," Blaine replied. He sat back, burying his face in his hands, shaking his head. "Shit, what are we doing? We cant do this."

"Blaine..."

Jumping up from the couch, Blaine began pacing. "Kurt, I told you we cant do this. This was a mistake. This isnt right."

He was too hard on himself. It broke Kurts heart to see Blaine treat himself with little respect. He wasnt giving himself a chance to be happy. He was still pushing happiness away. He chose to make things harder than they had to be.

Rising from the couch, Kurt came over and placed his hands on Blaines shoulders, "Come on, Blaine, give this a chance. Were here. I care about you, and I know that kiss meant something to you. Dont turn away from this."

His expression hardening, Blaine took a deep breath and firmly said, "You should go."

"But - "

"Get out of here," Blaine grabbed Kurts hands and pushed them off his shoulders. "This was nothing but a mistake. This never should have happened. I cant believe I let you in this much over a stupid drunken phone call."

"Please dont do this. Dont push me away," Kurt pleaded. Tears threatening to fall from his own eyes. "Im already in too deep. Dont chase me away now."

"This isnt a commitment," Blaine walked over and swung the door open.

Feeling like his feet couldnt move, Kurt quietly said, "Im leaving for New York tomorrow."

"Good. Go to New York. Forget this happened. Dont call me. Dont text me. Dont tell anyone about this," Blaine expression remained hard. His eyes burned with an agonizing anger. 

"Im sorry, Blaine," Kurt whispered. He made his way to the door and stopped. Looking into Blaines eyes one last time, Kurt added, "For what its worth, Im still a phone call away when youre ready to talk."

"Goodbye, Kurt," Blaine said, slamming the door in his face.

There was nothing else he could do. Blaine had to be willing to let him in again. It was his move. Kurt had to stay out of things until Blaine was ready. He just hoped that wouldnt take too long. If this was going to be hard on him, Kurt couldnt imagine how Blaine would take this.

"Bye, Blaine," Kurt said to the closed door. He hung his head, wiping his eyes on his sweater sleev