Chapter 19

Blaine fidgets in his seat and leans heavier onto Kurt's side as he continues to nap.  He moans lightly in his sleep and Kurt shamelessly pulls him closer.  Blaine's eyes flutter open, focusing finally on Kurt's face.  He blinks a few times and pushes himself up to sit straight and stares at the television screen in front of him.  Kurt watches him closely, as he's still sleepy and adorable with every movement.

Blaine turns his head and looks at Kurt.  “How are we getting to Lima?”

“Dad said he'd pick us up.”

“Thanks, pretty.  You work well under pressure.”

Kurt laughs and wraps his hand in one of Blaine's.  “So I've been told.”

“Mmmm.”

Kurt sees the glint in Blaine's eye as he smiles then wipes it away with a tired rub.  Kurt watches as Blaine turns to stare out the window.  They're over the clouds, flying over the country like they're invincible, and this week they'll have to be.

Kurt sighs and unbuckles his seatbelt.  “I'll be right back.  Bathroom.”  Really, he just needs a minute by himself in the back of the plane to gather his thoughts so he can remain strong for his Blaine in what will probably be one of the worst weeks of his life.

He engages in mindless conversation with the flight attendant as he waits for the bathroom stall to be free, and when it finally is he steps inside sideways and sits on the closed toilet seat with his head in his hands.

xK&Bx

Blaine hates to see Kurt leave, but he loves to watch him go.  He snaps out of it when Kurt disappears into the bathroom stall and punches at Cooper's shoulder across the aisle.  “Dude!  Kurt saw the ring.”

Cooper startles out of his trance. “What?  We're there?”

“The ring, Coop.  Kurt saw it.  I carry it everywhere and forgot to take it out of my pocket before we went through security.”

“Shit.”

“They made me put it in its own tray and run it through the X-Ray.  He was gathering our stuff already by the time I got to the other side and he just… handed it back to me, smirked, and walked away.”

Cooper laughs.  “Seriously, you two are hilarious.  Who cares?  He would have said something if it was something he didn't want.  He just walked away?”

“Yes!  I had to run to catch up with him.  He was already halfway through the Starbucks line when I finally found him.  I wanna blow his mind with it; I just wanted it to be a surprise and now everything is ruined.”

“I can assure you it was a surprise.”  Kurt climbs over Blaine and sits down again.  He looks at Blaine, who is laughing gently as he turns red from being caught again.  “It didn't freak me out as much as I thought it would, considering we just got back together.  You know what, though, Blaine?  I'm not stupid; I can't see myself ever marrying someone who isn't you, so nothing else really matters.  That part of us is inevitable, isn't it?”

Blaine swallows and nods shyly.  He can't find words to save his life.

“Besides, Cooper and I were trying to figure out which night you would do it so I could get a little more dressed up than normal because it's important that our engagement photos look divine.  His snooping fell through because…” Kurt whispers the last part, “Your brother's kind of an idiot.”

“Oh my God!  Coop, I'm going to kill you!”

“I did not do any of that!  Kurt, why do you have to lie?  You know he's going to believe you!”

“Not lying.”  Kurt buckles his seatbelt and leans to rest his head on Blaine's shoulder, clearly signaling that the conversation is over.

“Coop, how could you?  I specifically asked you not to tell him.”

“I was looking out for you!  You know you'd be dead if you proposed some place where he was totally unprepared!”

Kurt lifts his head up and smiles at Blaine, nodding in a way that mocks what Cooper is saying.  Blaine huffs. 

“That's not true.  Kurt, shit!  Ugh, everything is ruined.”  Blaine slumps in his seat, feeling rather defeated.  Even the details of the proposal are pissing him off to the point where he's second-guessing even going through with it.  He's always been under a lot of pressure to live up to what Kurt expects, and it feels like it's all coming to a head now that he knows about his plans.  “Forget it.”

“Hey.  Stop freaking out.  You and I both know these little outbursts have so little to do with us, and everything to do with the fact that we're going to Ohio to bury your dad.  Let's focus on one thing at a time and re-visit the marriage conversation after we survive this.”

Blaine feels like he's been punched in the chest.  “That's why I want to marry you.”

“Why's that?”

“You know I'm out of control before I even start to feel it.  I'll never be knocked down again with you around.  You give me… life security.  It's you who-”

“Shhhh.”  Kurt smiles into a chaste kiss and keeps his lips up close after they connect.  “You need to save all the sap for when you have enough room to get down on one knee.”  He nips at Blaine's bottom lip and pulls back.  “I refuse to get engaged on a domestic flight on our way to a funeral.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  Kurt places his head back onto Blaine's shoulder.  “Get some rest before the whirlwind.”

“You too, sir.  You can't just… hold me up the whole time if you're not well rested.”

“Uh huh.”

xK&Bx

“It really is good to see you boys, even if it's under such unfortunate circumstances.”  Burt shrugs and looks at Blaine through the rearview mirror.

“You too.  Thanks again for letting us stay, Mister H.”  Cooper smiles. 

“It's Burt, Cooper.  That's the last time I tell you.”

They're riding to the church where the funeral is taking place the following afternoon.  Blaine brushes his suit more than enough times as Cooper keeps Carole and Burt entertained with details about his life in Los Angeles.  Kurt watches, with pain on his face, and eventually grabs Blaine's hand and entwines their fingers.  It's an effort to keep from Blaine fidgeting with nerves.

“Stop.  You're fine.”

“Is it okay if I hold your hand when we get in there?”  Blaine nearly whispers the words, like he's a scared little Jewish boy being driven to his concentration camp.

“Why wouldn't it be okay?”  Kurt regrets asking the question as soon as he turns to look at Blaine's distraught, tense, spooked eyes.  “Oh, honey.  Of course, it's okay.  We're almost there, just try to breathe.”

“‘Try' being the operative word.”

“You're going to get through this.  Build the wall up again; I'll help you break it down later.  You're allowed to be a dick to whomever you want, especially today.”

Burt parks in the nearest available spot and shuts off the car.  Cooper and Carole go quiet and everyone seems to be waiting for Blaine to make the first move.  Kurt swallows and turns his hips to face Blaine's body, biting his lower lip all the while. 

“We're here.”  Kurt looks at Blaine and rubs his knuckles up and down his forearm.  “Ready?”

“Let's do this, pretty boy.” 

“Okay!  Everybody out!”

Cooper scrambles to push his door open, nearly falling out of the car.  Kurt slides out next and waits for Blaine to scoot over.  Carole and Burt join them outside.  It's suddenly a group of four waiting for a party of one but just as Kurt goes to stick his head back into the open door, Blaine opens his own door and drifts out and around the car.  Kurt unbends and licks his lips as he watches Blaine stroll toward him, clearly with a thick wall surrounding his small and fragile body.  He's so proud of his boyfriend for being able to enclose himself in a protective bubble when he most needs it, but he's scared that it'll take a lot to break it down later.  Kurt will deal with that when he has to.

Burt, Carole, and Cooper start walking toward the entrance, presumably to give the couple a few seconds of reprieve. 

“God, Kurt.  I love how you look in a suit.”

“Mmmm, can you imagine our wedding suits?”

“Mmmm,” Blaine laughs, “I haven't even-”

“It doesn't matter.  I don't care.  I just can't stop thinking about it.”

Blaine holds out his elbow and Kurt takes the hint, threading his arm through Blaine's.  They start to walk behind their family, Kurt still talking, in an effort to keep Blaine's mind off of what's happening right this instant.

“When are you proposing, anyway?  Cooper wasn't half wrong when he said that I would be mad if I didn't look great when you do.”

“You always look crazy good.  Don't worry about it.”

“Do you even know when you're doing it?”

“Kurt.”  Blaine looks around, probably spotting dozens of familiar faces.  He stops and untangles himself from Kurt, who has officially made their arms into a human pretzel.  He grabs at Kurt's cheeks and kisses the tip of his nose.  “I actually have no idea.”  He shrugs and lets go of Kurt's face.  “I've had the ring in my pocket for months.  I bought it before we even broke up the first time.  Then I taped it to the back of a picture frame where it stayed for two years.  I truly have no idea when I'm going to ask you to be my husband but now that the cat's out of the bag, I might just keep leading you on.  Just know that it will happen at exactly the perfect moment.”  Blaine takes Kurt's hand and starts to walk again.

“Of course it will be a perfect moment!  This whole thing couldn't get more perfect.”

“I'm never marrying you if you're going to make me puke daily, Hummel.”

“Awww, B.  Please marry me.”

“No.”

“I'm gonna getcha.  Watch.”

“Whatever.”

“Blaine?”

Kurt looks up into the very tall, very Irish, very round man staring down on them.  He's not sure why this man seems so important, like he may change their whole lives right here and now.  When Blaine drops Kurt's hand and looks down to the ground, though, Kurt thinks he might need to second-guess the undeniable comfort he originally felt around this family member.

“Hi, Uncle Paul.”

“Oh, Blaine.  It's been too long.  Cooper says you're in California, now.”

“I am.  I'm about to graduate from Berkeley, live off-campus in San Francisco.”

Uncle Paul nods, eyes drifting every few seconds to Kurt.

“Why don't we sit together?  All the way in the back, where your mother can't find us.”  Blaine's uncle winks at him and nudges Kurt, clearly in the know of everything that's happened. 

“Um, yeah.”  Blaine looks at Kurt.  “Sure.  Uh, this is Kurt.  His parents are here, too, so… I'll just.”  Blaine nods and goes to get Burt, Carole, and Cooper so they can all sit close together.

Kurt smiles at Paul.  “Unfortunate circumstances, but nice to meet you.  I'm Kurt.”  He extends his hand and Paul takes it in both of his.

“The infamous Kurt.  Thank you for keeping our Blaine safe when the rest of us were unable.  And we heard about you.  I'm terribly sorry we couldn't be there for you both after Christian, after my brother… well.  We're here now.  For you.  For you and for Blaine.” 

Kurt can only nod, words shocked out of him at how supportive Christian Anderson's brother is being.  They're polar opposites. 

“What?  Tell me what you're thinking.”

“I just can't… I can't believe he was your brother.  You're…  I can tell you have a heart.”

Uncle Paul smiles solemnly at Kurt just as Blaine returns with Carole on his arm, who's pulling Cooper and Burt along as well.  Sweet hellos and introductions are gathered and Uncle Paul leads the way into the church stealthily so the Anderson boys aren't bothered again. 

Blaine looks at Kurt, follows his line of vision to the man sitting in the pew waiting for Paul to return, and promptly looks back to Kurt. 

Kurt lifts his eyebrows and widens his eyes.  “We knew this was going to be challenging, baby... but I think it just got a hell of a lot easier.”  Kurt is grinning like he's responsible for the sunlight today; it's as if he's trying to rid himself of any negativity they originally planned for.

“Blaine Anderson, meet my husband, Gus.”

“Husband.”  Blaine says it like an epiphany, eventually snapping out of it to shake his hand and introduce everyone else.  “Um, great to meet you.  This is… Burt, Carole, my brother Cooper, and Kurt.”  Blaine sits next to Paul in the pew and pulls at Kurt's hand.  “My boyfriend.”

Kurt bites his lip around yet another bright grin and intertwines his fingers with Blaine's.

Cooper leads Burt and Carole into the pew directly across the aisle from where Kurt and Blaine settle, and Kurt's grateful for the privacy.  Maybe Blaine will loosen the walls and talk openly with just his uncle there.

xK&Bx

The organist is playing a weird, slow tempo version of Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville and it makes Blaine feel uneasy.  Kurt's hand is heavy in his, squeezing with all his might for either comfort or strength.  He turns his head to stare at his uncle's hand, intertwined with this other man Blaine's just met.  Their wedding rings are identical and expensive-looking and are as though they belong right where they're set.  Blaine turns his head again, this time to look at Kurt.  Of course, Kurt must feel his eyes on him as expected, so he turns to meet them. 

“Hi.”

“Thank you for coming with me, pretty.  You really didn't have to.”

“Shut up.”  Kurt places a kiss on his lips.  “I'm here because I want to be.  Now say a prayer or whatever for your father.”

“A little late for that, boys.”  Paul leans over closer to Blaine and throws an arm around his shoulders, grinning at him.  “You okay, kiddo?”

Blaine shrugs.  His Uncle Paul is suddenly reminding him a lot of Burt.

He wouldn't be able to explain the feeling of mourning yet happiness he has deep in his bones right now, even if he tried.  Without Christian Anderson, Blaine wouldn't have had a life at all, regardless of how shitty his childhood was.  On the other hand, though, Blaine's really not sure if living at all was worth the childhood he endured if he had to grow up to be something he hated so much.  Or at least, that's what it would have been if Kurt Hummel didn't singlehandedly turn his life around when he was seventeen.

He has everything he could ever want now, but it took such a long time to get here and he'd like to blame it on the trust issues he has because of Christian.  He squeezes Kurt's hand tighter and looks at his uncle.  “Yeah.  I'm fine.”

It's true.  Blaine has never meant “I'm fine” more seriously ever before in his life.  But he is.  Finally, after all of that, he's fine.  He has this bubble of support all around him and he can't help but tear up at the thought.  It wasn't even ten years ago that he had no one at all, and now… well, now it just feels like he's living someone else's life – someone else who deserves all the love and gratitude.  He's here today not to see his mother or reconcile a ten-year-old miscommunication between distant family members; he's here for the closure and Kurt's words finally – finally – make sense.  It's all about forgiving and forgetting and moving on without the burden of Christian Anderson.

He's shocked to find that the church is slowly filling to the max.  People from every walk of Christian's life are here to pay their respects to a man who certainly hasn't earned the right to be mourned, but to each his own.  He doesn't realize that the service has started until he watches the closed coffin carried inside and down the aisle by men he mostly doesn't recognize.  He doesn't realize he's crying until Kurt dabs at his cheek with a tissue, and smiles sadly when their eyes meet. 

“You're okay.”  Kurt whispers, and he is.  They've already established this.

The priest is going on and on about unfortunate circumstances based on a bed of exaggeration, so Blaine starts to count how many fingernail marks he can put in the back of the pew in front of them.  He feels like he's about eight years old, waiting for his parents to stand so he knows when to stand.  He sits when they do and he repeats “and also with you” as instructed, just like the good old days.

“That was fucking bullshit.  He didn't say one word even remotely true about the asshole.”

Blaine looks at Gus and can't help but smile when he gets flustered, clearly afraid he may have said the wrong thing.  “My thoughts exactly.”  He laughs.  “Hey.”  He leans over Paul and bends so Gus can hear his words.  “How long have you been with my uncle?”

The bright smile on Gus's lips reminds him of when Kurt came skipping down the arrivals hallway at the airport in San Francisco only a week ago.  Blaine's heart actually palpitated at the sight of Kurt's grin, a showcase of proof that Kurt loves no one else before Blaine.

“Eleven years.  Why do you ask?”

“You proposed or he did?”

“He did, but I was planning my own and that old hag just beat me to it.”

“He didn't.  He merely bought the ring the night before I ‘beat him to it.'”

“I'm gonna need some help… with that.  I mean, I've had the ring but now it's kinda burning a hole in my pocket and I want it on his finger.”  He straightens to nudge his shoulder with Kurt's and smiles at him.

Paul and Gus shift their eyes to Kurt in caution, causing Blaine and Kurt to laugh loudly.  Blaine covers Kurt's mouth because he's being obnoxious, which only forces another loud cackle out of Kurt, muffled and so not silenced.

“He knows already.  He found out at the airport when the fucking security dude gave me away.”

Cooper turns his head and gives him a look, which drags Kurt's mouth into Blaine's shoulder to muffle the giggles some more.

“Oh my God, Kurt.”  Blaine laughs and kisses his head.  “My mom is looking right at us.  Stop!”

Kurt removes his head from Blaine's shoulder and looks at Sondra, waving delicately with his fingers.

Paul follows their distraction and laughs along.  “You are instigating her.”

“Awww, but it's so fun.”  Kurt exclaims, only a bit too loud for a funeral service in a church and it takes everything in Blaine to not die of laughter. 

Soon after, the same unfamiliar men carry the casket back outside toward the hearse and the religious service is over as quickly as it began.  The priest asks everyone to hurry to their cars, as the procession line to the cemetery is to begin in exactly fifteen minutes.   Blaine remains seated, sending Morse code messages to Kurt to stay put.  He wants to be the last out of the church.

Paul and Gus leave them alone, as do Kurt's parents and Coop.

“Okay?” 

Blaine lets Kurt play with his fingers and stare at him.  He takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly.  “Mmm.  I'm just trying to… feel something.”

“About him?  Haven't we felt enough over the years?  Come on, babe.  We can move on, now.”

“Yeah, you're right.  I'm over this.  Can we just go home… or maybe to dinner with my uncle?  I really like them.”

“Me too.  I had a good feeling about him when Cooper was telling me about him.”

“Is this what it looks like to finally be happy with my life, Kurt?”

Kurt smiles at him.  “This is exactly that feeling, honey.  Let's go find the family.”

Blaine tugs Kurt out of the church.  “Hurry, pretty!  Before we combust in flames.”

“You are actually the least funny person in the whole world, you know.”

xK&Bx

“Shit!”  Blaine snaps out of his mold of happiness and runs to his uncle, who's found bleeding from his head on the concrete.  Blaine falls to his side and cradles his head next to Gus.  “Kurt!  Fucking find Carole!”

“I lost control, fuck!  Shit, it fucking hurts.  Little prick.”

The blood isn't stopping.  Kurt pulls Blaine out of the way as Carole works to put pressure on the wound. 

“You're okay, honey.  Cooper here is going to find us some tissues, and an ambulance is on its way.  Talk to me, Paul.  Who did this?  What happened?”  Carole babbles, clearly trying to get an answer out of Paul so he doesn't fall asleep, deep into a coma.

“The prick on your mom's side, Squirt.”

“There are so many.”  Blaine looks up and around him.  He locks eyes with a group of his cousins, including Parker – the cousin on his mom's side that taught him how to build the walls in the first place.  When he came out to his family, he thought he'd have at least one ally when all was said and done, but Parker wound up being just as homophobic as all of them.

Blaine launches himself, running straight into Parker's body, knocking him down and slamming him against the bricks of the church. 

“What the fuck, faggot?  Get the fuck off me.”

His ears are swimming, as Parker is egging him on by calling him all the names Christian once did.  He pounds his fist into his cousin's nose as hard as he can over and over again until Cooper and Kurt work to pull him off.  He's thrashing and kicking up toward him, positively out of his mind.  “I could fucking kill you right now, little bitch!”

Blaine wiggles out of Cooper and Kurt's hold and walks away, running his fingers through his hair to un-matte it.  He finds a good corner to lean up against behind the church and pulls out a cigarette.  He stares at an individual blade of grass and shifts when Kurt comes up next to him and mimics his stance.  They stand together until Blaine finishes his cigarette, until he throws it on the ground, until he stomps on it with all of his might. 

Blaine looks up at Kurt and digs for his wallet in his back pocket and hands it off to him.  “I'm about to be arrested and then I need you to bail me out.  Open the wallet.”

“Blaine.”

“No!  Shut up and listen to me!  I'm fucking taking care of us this time, and I swear to God if you don't let me show you which debit card to use, then I'll have to spend a night in jail and I really can't.  Okay?  Just let me save myself, this time.”

Kurt nods and opens the wallet.  He studies the neatness of it all. 

“Come here, Kurt.  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you.”  Blaine wipes his hands off on his pants of any dried blood that may still be stuck to his lips and leans in to taste Kurt.

“You're fine.  I told you before you're allowed to be a dick to whoever today and it's all forgiven.”  Kurt smiles.  “Not that you were just…” He sighs.  “Tell me more about your credit cards.”

Blaine smiles.  “Okay, so the top card's account has like a hundred grand in it.  If you need more than that, take it from the one in the second slot, but that only has fifty in it.  There's some cash, but not much, or you can use any of the credit cards.  Okay?  Give me my license, please?”

Kurt takes Blaine's license out of the dedicated slot and stares at the picture for a few seconds.  He raises an eyebrow and hands it over. “What's the pin?”

“Oh.  Ummm.  One, two, two, six.”  Blaine pockets his license and then reaches for Kurt's hand.

“Twelve twenty-six.  December twenty-sixth.”

“Mmmhmm.”  They start to walk out from behind the building.  There's something eerie about the fact that Christian is still in the back of a hearse, cold and dead, waiting to be buried. 

“My birthday.”

“Nope, just a random collection of numbers that I could never forget.”  Blaine looks at him, clearly for a reaction.

Kurt just rolls his eyes and changes the subject.  “We need to clean you up so I can frame your mug shot over our mantle.  Are you okay?”

Blaine laughs lightly then turns around abruptly when he hears his name.  None other than Sondra Anderson is running toward him.  He turns to keep walking.  “Just keep going, babe.”

“Blaine!”

Sondra marches right up to Blaine and slaps him hard across his cheek.

“Owww, what the fuck, bitch?”

“How dare you start a scene at your father's funeral?  You should have stayed away, you cock-sucking little fairy.  And then you go and bring this abomination to church?  Are you crazy?”

“Uhhh.”  Kurt narrows his eyes at Sondra and takes Blaine's hand again.

Blaine looks at him then down at their hands, intertwined, and lifts them both to kiss Kurt's before letting it fall again.  It's a small moment, but one that Blaine needs.  He breathes fire again.

“You invited us!  You called and told Burt the information!  Besides, I'm allowed to come to my father's fucking funeral, with whoever I want, especially the man I love.  Also, your perfect little nephew started the scene by splitting Uncle Paul's head open.  So... bye.”

“You deserve it, you all do.  Fucking faggots, I hope you burn in hell!”

Blaine laughs and looks at Kurt.  “I can't even think of words to say.”  He ponders for a second then glances back toward his mother and sees the actual devil floating above her.  He swears she has a darkness more visible than ever before, and they need to get out of its way before it ruins their lives even more.  His walls are still up; everything will be fine later.  “Look at the time, we've gotta get going.  Babe?”  He takes Kurt's hand again and they walk the hundred steps as calmly as possible.  Cooper trails behind, and Blaine can't help but think it's in case he needs a bodyguard.

“Blaine Devon, don't you fucking dare walk away from me!  Cooper James!”

He doesn't react; he only opens the back left door of Burt's car and smiles at Kurt to go ahead of him.  Kurt kisses him lightly and they pile into the back seat. 

Carole immediately hands Kurt some wet wipes from the glove compartment and he turns to face Blaine. 

“I'm not sure if I ever knew your middle name.”  Kurt tilts his head and starts to wipe at his face.

“That's because I kind of hate it.”

“It's cute.  Blaybee is cuter.”

Blaine raises an eyebrow.  “Is that a thing, now?”

“Forever.”  Kurt works to wipe blood off Blaine's face.  “You're going to have a sexy-as-fuck shiner.  Oh, hey family.  Me and Blaine are going to be engaged soon.”

Burt laughs as Carole screams and Cooper's shoulders shake from trying to hold in a pitiful giggle.  

“I shoulda known you'd find out before he actually did it, kid.  Can't keep nothing from ya.”

“What?”  Kurt exclaims,  “You guys knew, too?”

“Of course they did, pretty.  I asked permission when I was here in February.”

Kurt looks at him and pouts his lips.  “You are actually the most adorable human.”  He plants a hard kiss directly to Blaine's lips and holds still for a few extra seconds, to really drill it into Blaine's head that he loves him more than he ever has.

“Something more, indeed.”

Blaine grins and winces at the same time.  “Love you too.”

“You good, bro?”

“I'm fine, Coop.  Thanks for being here, man.”

They sit in the car and watch the ambulance disappear, then the hearse.  They watch Parker point dramatically toward Burt in the driver's seat, flailing his arms as he speaks with the cops.

“Told you, Hummel.”  He opens the back door and kisses Kurt hard on the lips.

“Don't say anything stupid.  Is this something a lawyer should be called for?”

“Nah, I got this.  Call you guys in a few hours.  Keep your cell phone on you, Kurt.  It's the only number I have memorized.”  Blaine smiles and gets out of the car, starting to walk away.

“Blaine!”

“Huh?”

“They'll make you empty your pockets.”

Blaine's confused as to why Kurt would say such a thing, and then the feeling of the lead weight comes back.  He takes the box out of his pocket, and the ring out of the box.  “Promise to give this back to me when I need it to ask you officially?”

Kurt simply nods, eyes locked on the glint of the diamonds nestled securely in the band of platinum.

Blaine slips it onto Kurt's finger and kisses over it.  “I love you, hubby.”

Kurt smiles, as if his heart is breaking.  “Love you too.  Call me when you know more.”

Blaine kisses him again and then he's outside, being read his rights with his hands locked behind his back.

xK&Bx

Kurt makes Burt wait until Blaine is in the back of the police car and driving away until he allows them to go home.  He feels lost, empty, and incomplete without Blaine by his side.  His boyfriend has been arrested and he's sitting at the dinner table with the rest of his family.  It doesn't feel right.  He concentrates on cutting pieces of chicken as small as they'll go, eyes flicking to the darkness of his phone screen every five seconds.  Cooper's phone is also out on display, in the event of a change with Uncle Paul's condition.

The four of them eat their takeout in silence, willing for any phone to ring.  When Kurt can't take anymore of the wondering inside his head, he speaks up.

“He was arrested though, right?  So what do they need to do now?”

“Now, they process the arrest.  They'll make sure he's not wanted anywhere else and they'll hold him there for a few hours just to gather all of the information.”  Burt supplies.  “He's been arrested before in Ohio, so he might have to stay the night and he'll see a judge first thing in the morning for arraignment.”

“Is that when they set the bail?  Dammit, he told me he absolutely cannot stay the night in jail.  I don't want him there for the night!”

“Calm down, bud.  If they set the bail, it will be then.  They may not if the judge thinks it was an act of self-defense on behalf of his uncle lying on the ground bleeding.”

Cooper chimes in.  “I hope he plays the gay card.”

Kurt glares at him.  “Coop…”

“No, I'm serious!  Times are so different now, and although Ohio as a whole might not be there completely, so many people are more comfortable with it than when we were his age, even.  I hope he uses the gay card and I hope that the judge looks into his past before making a decision.”

“They will, Cooper.  Don't worry.”  Carole smiles at the boys and they sit some more in silence. 

“Can we go to the arraignment?”

“Yes.  It's open to the public.  We can go.  Blaine will be able to tell us what time it's at when he calls.”

“Okay.”  Kurt twirls the ring on his finger, nervous that Ohio is not going to buy that Blaine is really a great kid.  “Can they even look at the last time he was arrested?  He wasn't eighteen.”

“That I don't know, kiddo.  Let's just relax for a few more hours and he'll call us with everything he knows.  Okay?  Maybe you can talk to Santana.  She probably knows more about this stuff than any of us.”

“What if he didn't tell me everything?  What if he's been arrested in California or something?  I fucking hate surprises.”

“Kurt!  You're freaking out and I don't know how to handle you like this.  Stop, it's fine, he hasn't been arrested since that one time, and everything will be fine.  He didn't keep that from you, I swear.”  Cooper yells.

“Okay.”  Kurt nods.  “Okay, I'm sorry.”

Three hours of Kurt pacing and lying on his bed and watching TV with Cooper and trying to read whatever is downloaded to his Nook app, and he's fed up that the Lima Police Station can't book his boyfriend in a timely manner.

“Coop.  Come on.  I'm going down there.”

“Did he call you?”

“No!  Don't you think that's weird?  I need to see him.”

“Kurt, buddy.  They will let him call when he's able.  Come on, he's okay.”

“Please, can we go down there?  Coop…”

“Come on, then.”

Cooper drives them down to the station where they wait it out some more.  Finally, what feels like six years later, Kurt's phone rings with a random phone number.  He answers before the first ring morphs into the second. 

“Blaine?  That you?”

“Hey, babe.  Sorry it took so long.  You okay?”

“I'm okay.  Are you okay?  What did they say?”

“I'm done.  No arraignment needed.  Will you come get me, please?”

“Me and Coop are in the parking lot already.  You're not being charged?”

“My cousin dropped them.  Have you guys heard from Gus?”

“Not yet, honey.  We can go to the hospital from here.”

“Okay.  They're just running all the paperwork for me, so give me like twenty minutes.”

“I'll grab coffee across the street.  So happy you're okay, B.”

“Mmmm, love you my pretty.  See you in a few.”

xK&Bx

Like no time at all has passed, they're suddenly upstairs in Burt's house, ready for bed.  Cooper has since retreated to Finn's room and they're finally alone for the first time all night.  They've been to the hospital, where Uncle Paul is going to be fine.  They've been to Breadstix to grab a quick bite for Blaine since he was starving.  Now, they're in each other's arms ready to work on breaking down the walls.  Kurt is the big spoon as usual, and Blaine couldn't be more grateful.

“I just want to relax, after that day, with my tiny little delinquent.”

“Of course.”  Blaine laughs.  “Wanna talk about our forever together?”

“My favorite topic.  But first, are you sure that you won't have a warrant out for your arrest when we leave the state?”

“Babe, I told you.  It's all fine.  I promise… now what about our future?”

“That is part of our future!  You know, I usually forget you're twenty-four, but you're being very young about this whole thing.  You're not doing this because you feel you have to, are you?”  Kurt holds his hand out and admires it with the ring on.

“Okay, Hummel.  No need to be offensive… you know I've wanted to marry you since I met you, basically.  When do you want to get engaged?”

Kurt grins into Blaine's shoulder and nips lightly.  “Mmmm, aren't we already?”

“No!  Gimme that thing back.”

Kurt takes it off and puts it in Blaine's pocket.  He's still wearing his suit from the funeral and he must admit that it actually sort of looks better wrinkled and sweaty than it did when it was crisp this morning. 

“I feel naked.”

“Want you naked.”

“I really love how it feels there, you know.”

“Uh huh.  My ring or your cock?”

Kurt rolls his eyes and sighs.  “So, propose as soon as possible, please.”

“That can be arranged.”  Blaine grins and lets Kurt turn him around so they're facing each other.  “When do you want to be married?”

“A year or a year and a half after the engagement?  Are we going to have a real wedding?”

“Kurt!  Of course, we're going to have a real wedding.  Are you nuts?  I need to show you off to every single person we know.”

“Just making sure that's what you want!”  Kurt laughs.  “It would have been awkward if I started putting together details and you thought we were going to city hall.”

“We already talked about this when I offered to drive us to Vegas, remember?  What about kids?”

“Definitely.  And I don't want to be too old before we have them, which means like in the next few years or as soon as possible.  Is any of this scaring you?”

“No... I mean, not really.”  Blaine shrugs and looks at him.  “I know it sounds really stupid, but I'm kinda scared of being a dad.  Not scared, maybe nervous.  Uneasy over whether or not I'd be a good one.  I still want to, but I'm so nervous that I'm going to fuck up their lives.  I'm scared of raising them and screwing it all up.”

“If the way you love me is any indication, you're going to be great at it.  You could never be him, as cliché as that sounds.”  Kurt kisses the tip of his nose and smiles.  “Our babies are going to be so lucky, you know that right?  Half of the battle is having two parents who are hopelessly in love.”

“If I know anything, I know I love you hopelessly.  Adoption or surrogate?”

“I have no idea.  What's better?”

“Mmmm.”

“Blaine, where are we going to raise these children?”

“How many children are we talking about?”

“Two?  Three?”

Blaine raises an eyebrow and smirks wildly at his beautiful, pretty Kurt.  He rolls up on top of him and licks at his lips.  “We should start practicing.”

“We don't have the necessary parts to practice, B.”  Kurt throws his head back and Blaine is grateful for the open access to his neck.  “Missed you today.”

“All six hours?”  Blaine sucks hard at Kurt's pale neck, marking him as his for the world to see.  “Straight couples have to practice by having loads of sex and that is exactly what I recommend we do, too.  Can we do that, Kurt?”  Blaine leans back with bright, wide eyes to look back at Kurt.

“Might as well get the full experience.  Surrogate, then?”

“Yeah, I want a little Kurt.”

“But I want a little Blaine!”

“You already have a little Blaine.”

“Praise Jesus, I sure do.  Tell me you're talking about your cock.”

“What?  Pretty, I'm petite.  You're a very dirty old man.”

“Oh my God.”  Kurt laughs and rolls his eyes.  “Come on, let's practice.”

Blaine attaches his lips to Kurt's neck again, kissing the most sensitive spot, and leaves it to trail down his body, opening a button and then kissing the skin underneath until the entirety of his shirt is flopping and open, curled around his suit jacket.  Kurt bends his body upward, supporting Blaine by holding his back until he's curved up too.  Blaine takes it upon himself to remove Kurt's jacket and shirt and then throws his clothes on the floor beside the bed.  He gets up and locks the door then turns back to see Kurt stripping himself of any piece of cloth still attached to his body.  Blaine smiles as he watches him, unbuttoning his own pants on the way back to the bed. 

“Condoms, pretty.”  He swallows.  “We still have some, right?”

“Unprotected sex is the only kind of practice straight couples get if they want a child.”

“Like babies, HIV takes up to nine months to show symptoms.  Come on, are they still in the bathroom?”

“Yeah, we need more before next time though.  I can't wait until Oliver and all of San Francisco is a thing we don't have to think about anymore.”

“I think you just called me a whore, but I'll let it slide this time.”  Blaine kisses him hard and scurries to the bathroom, returning with a strip of condoms and a bottle of lube.

“Know what else slides, B?”

“My God.”

“So, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck me like you're trying to make a baby.  Please.”  Kurt rolls his eyes and laughs when Blaine fist pumps.  “How do you want me?”

“Wanna see your face.”

Kurt immediately situates a pillow under his body.  Blaine straddles his groin and rubs for the sake of friction.  Kurt's hands fly to curve around Blaine's hipbones and he holds on.  It all feels so natural, like they've been doing this forever, and it's then that Blaine realizes that they have.  It's been nearly seven years with a slight hiccup in the middle and now, for the rest of his life, this is it.  It blows his mind how he's entirely content with that and only because it's Kurt.  He'd been expecting to miss the different sexual partners and styles every night but he finds that, since none of them compare to Kurt, all is right in his monogamous world.

He twists Kurt forcefully at the hips so his legs are stretched and hanging off the bed, and so he has a full view of that perfect, plumped ass that still, at thirty-five years old, does not jiggle.  Kurt's hands are stroking Blaine's upper thigh as Blaine leans forward and inserts two fingers graciously, slowly, crooked into Kurt's ass with a specific goal to find his spot straight away.  He does, naturally, and Kurt's low-pitched mewl of a sound is all the proof Blaine needs that it's okay.

“My God, Blaine.  More.”

“Yeah?” 

Blaine's sensitive skin on his inner thigh is pinched to prove seriousness and he sees to it that the third finger is well within as soon as possible.  He probes at Kurt's prostate until he's sweating, and it's all he can do not to come just at the sight of his fingers disappearing time and time again.  Kurt's finally ready for the next step so Blaine wraps his cock in a condom, making sure it fits properly.  He lubes it up and lines up with Kurt's opening.  “Okay?”

“Love you.”

“Good.  I love you.”  Blaine bends so he's lying on top of Kurt and, with their mouths attached, he thrusts inside until he can go no more.  Kurt lets out a breathy gasp and then holds his breath, thanks to the intrusion, and Blaine makes it a point to hold as still as possible until Kurt says he can move.  He tries to ignore the throb running through his entire body, and the basic survival type of need that has him holding every single thrust back until all is well. 

Kurt opens his mouth wider into Blaine's and whispers, “please,” as though Blaine is positively torturing him by not making any movements. 

xK&Bx

It feels like a year, but the begging finally starts and Blaine starts to move.

Kurt is undoubtedly baffled how it all can feel so refreshing and new, as though he's never done this with Blaine before in his life, when the reality is that they've done it hundreds or maybe even thousands of times before.  As Blaine finds the flow – thrust, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, pull out, thrust, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, pull out – Kurt pictures what their wedding will look like, what flowers they can have as centerpieces, where they'll go on their honeymoon.  He envisions a hut on top of crystal water somewhere in the South Pacific that they have to row a kayak to and from, a thoroughly debouched suite with white and tan linens thrown about, the sea salt heavy in the air mixed with the smell of Blaine's natural perfume Kurt finds, without fail, in the crook of his neck.

He's brought back to the moment by the sound Blaine makes above him as he holds onto Kurt's hair and pulls, subsequently pressing this experience into the category of rough sex.  He goes harder and faster and harder yet; Kurt knows how turned on Blaine gets while fucking him thoroughly, completely, to the point of exhaustion. 

“God, Kurt.  You're so tight.”

And with that, Blaine is up and off of him, bouncing across the room and rummaging through his suitcase.  Kurt bends forward to watch him, cock red and leaking, absolutely about to burst. 

“What the hell are you doing?  Get back here!” 

Blaine holds up a silicon vibrator and waves it in the air at Kurt, turning it on with a flick of a switch and a smirk.  Kurt watches the tiny movement and hears the buzz and he thinks this might be heaven.

“Want this in you with me.”

Kurt's brain short circuits.  He doesn't even know what to think, let alone how to put it into words.  His stare back at Blaine must be inhumanly wanton because Blaine laughs before he inserts the vibrator between his teeth and gets back up.  He kneels between Kurt's legs again and takes the vibrator in his hands. 

“You see, you put the thing that kills you in between your teeth…” Kurt laughs at his own joke.  “It's a metaphor, Blaine.”

Blaine clearly doesn't understand the words of John Green.  “Uhh, we don't have to, I just thought…” Blaine swallows.  “I think I might have a size kink, Kurt.  Wanna watch you stretch to the max and conform to the shape you need to.  For me?”

Kurt nods and writhes in an attempt to get closer to Blaine. 

“Mmmm, okay.  Tell me if you want me to stop.”  Blaine pushes his own cock in again and bottoms out.  Kurt can't help but moan, his eyes wide and bulging out of his head only under the anticipation of what's still to come.

“How is… oh God, more, Blaine.  Please.”

“Yeah?”

“Blaine, Blaine, Blaine… fill me.”

Blaine rubs the vibrator, still buzzing, around the rim of Kurt's asshole then holds it still against the top.  He pushes through until it's inserted inside, lying comfortably atop Blaine's cock deep inside.  The hum against Kurt's walls get more and more intense each second that goes by, and he faintly tries to forget that Blaine is feeling the same sensation at exactly the same time.  They're playing with the very same toy and it might make Kurt's heart stop with just the intimacy of it all. 

“Oh… my God, fuck, shit.  You kinky motherfucker… shit, Blaine!”  He feels himself getting louder; he knows his parents are downstairs and Cooper is somewhere but he has officially run out of fucks to give.  He sings out a moan and his legs start to shake uncontrollably.  “Fuck me, Blaine!  Ahhh… shit, so close.”

Blaine pulls only his cock out and then slams it back in with so much force that the vibrator moves around in the cave they've created inside Kurt.  One of Blaine's hands holds the vibrator inside and the other sneaks up to squeeze Kurt in all the right places. 

As soon as Blaine touches Kurt's cock, he explodes, followed quickly by Blaine.  Kurt thanks his lucky stars for Blaine having enough brainpower to pull both him and the vibrator out of Kurt before it becomes unbearable.

Blaine rolls off of Kurt and kisses his temple, snuggling up to his side.  “Are you okay?”

Kurt is still breathing heavy but turns his head to look at Blaine, whose face is too close to his at this angle.  “Holy fucking shit, I'm seeing stars.”

“Thoroughly fucked, my pretty boy.”

“Where did you even learn… don't answer that.”

“Mmmm.”  Blaine kisses Kurt's temple for the second time.  “Not one of them, I promise.  I bought this baby with you in mind.”

“If it was physically possible, I'd so be pregnant right now.  Jesus.”

Blaine looks at Kurt seriously then bursts out laughing.  “God, I love you so much.”

“Me too, honey.”  Kurt rolls over onto his back again to stare at the ceiling. 

Kurt runs through what just happened – the filthiest, dirtiest, kinkiest sex they've ever had, and of course now is the perfect moment.  He blushes slightly at the cheekbone and looks at Blaine, also undoubtedly blushing at the thought of what they just experienced.

The roller coaster they've been riding for upwards of six years now has finally halted to a stop, throwing them off disheveled but together, directly into a metaphorical field of lilacs they'd always deserved.   It feels good to be launched off of a device that was previously trying to ruin them.  These are the happy times.  This is finally forever.  Disgustingly filthy sex and all.

Basking in the afterglow has always been Kurt's favorite pastime with Blaine, and it turns out that it still is, undoubtedly.  He can't get enough of it; every touch of the fingertip, every swirl of the stomach hits home harder than the time before and he finds himself silently flailing on the inside, hopeful that his boyfriend isn't aware of what's happening internally.  This is finally it; all the build up and heartbreak was officially worth it to see Blaine's sated smile on his lips as he feels lightly across his chest.  Kurt shifts to lean closer into Blaine's scent and carries his head up and into the crook of his neck.  He cards his fingertips through Blaine's hair, gently massaging his crown and smiling all the while.  These are the happy times.  This is finally forever. 

xK&Bx

Blaine's fingers are rubbing at the hole between Kurt's collarbone, at a bruise that was placed delicately by his mouth at the beginning of the rendezvous.  He studies it, as if it's changing color right before his eyes, and sighs as he places his lips around the mark again.  This time it's gentle, not frantic, and Kurt squirms a bit from the sensitivity of the feeling. 

Blaine shifts to sit up halfway, mostly to see Kurt's clear, wide eyes staring back at him.  They smile an unspoken promise to never talk about the vibrator outside of the bedroom. Kurt holds his pinkie out and Blaine locks his together. Blaine knows exactly what that means.  It means forever.

Blaine rests his head on Kurt's shoulder and inhales the scent.  They remain silent for as long as it takes for Blaine to put his words together.  He's planning a speech and he hopes Kurt is in sync with the moment as he always is.  Kurt would wait until the end of time, if that were what it took to hear Blaine say something of substance, and Blaine prays this is as important as he hopes.

xK&Bx

“Kurt.”  He says it like a prayer, like an epilogue to the greatest love story ever written.  He says it with conviction, as if the only person he ever believes in is Kurt.  It's like it's always ever been Kurt; mind, body, soul, and Kurt. 

Kurt can identify with this feeling; it has always been Blaine, after all.

As a response, Kurt places all of his love through his mouth atop Blaine's curls, and shakes out his exhale, air jumping down each notch of his lungs.

They conjoin again horizontally, Blaine's head back to Kurt's collarbone; the spot is reserved only for him.

“So, you know how I'm taking Human Anatomy as my elective this semester?”  Blaine says, with furrowed brows and excessive blinking. 

“We don't really talk about school, baby.”

“Well, whatever.  So I'm taking Human Anatomy-”

“As an elective this semester.”  Kurt smiles and raises an eyebrow.  It's a challenge; it's comfort.

Blaine smirks and rests his chin on Kurt's chest.  They lock their lines of vision; they'll never let go again.

“Right, so we were learning about organs last week.  The heart is so insane, Kurt.”

“I'm aware.”  He hopes Blaine can sense that he means that so much more profoundly than Blaine is probably speaking.  “Why is the heart so crazy, B?”  Kurt slips his hand between them and places the palm of his hand over Blaine's heart, applying pressure and feeling the pattern of the thump.  It seems to speed up at the touch and Kurt can only smile.  All of this would be positively overwhelming if he lets it be, so he tries not to think about the way Blaine makes him feel.

“There are these little… muscles like within the walls of the heart holding each section together, you know?  They help it contract and whatever, you know how blood's central place to pump is the heart?  My professor described it as the gas station that each blood cell goes through to refuel itself enough to pump through the body again or something.”

“Mmmm.  That's a good way to put it.”  Kurt's still unsure why they're talking about blood flowing through hearts, but he trusts that Blaine will have a point sooner than later.  

“She was telling us that there are known cases of people going through super traumatic events… break-ups, loss of a loved one, things like that?  Where the person can't handle the distress from those events and those little tendons sever or fray because the heart is beating so out of control because of the trauma and when they sever, you can actually die of a broken heart.  And that's why sometimes your heart physically hurts when you go through certain shit, because your tendons inside the muscle are all overworking themselves.”

Kurt's continues to absently pet Blaine's back softly, drawing tiny, circular designs without thinking at all.  He opts to retrace several figure eights across his skin now, the universal symbol for eternity.  “Is that so?”

“Yeah, and fuck Kurt, it's the coolest thing but so depressing because I think one of my heartstrings, that's my professor's nickname for them, was in the process of tearing when I walked away from you that one time because I physically felt it, and I guess I just mean that I'm not even sure if it's relevant anymore, but I am so sorry for leaving you like that and breaking both of our heart...strings.  Yeah.”

“You don't have to apologize for that, honey.  We are so far past that.  No regrets…”

“Just love.”  Blaine grins.

“Also, no Katy Perry.”  There's a beat where Kurt swears he sees said heartstrings inside Blaine tearing again at just the irrational suggestion.

“I also want to say that I'm really excited that the break-up didn't totally tear us apart, because I can't wait to spend the rest of my life mending it all back together for the both of us.  Because I'm alive and well and very much with you again.”

Kurt admires Blaine's shining eyeballs, glistening against his own.  His mouth twitches upwards and Kurt plants a kiss squarely on his lips.  He pulls off with a muah and nods.  “We are so together.”  Kurt sighs.  “I think the most excellent part about injured heartstrings is that every person only has that one true love who is able to reconstruct them as he sees fit.  Like the little ants that can hold fifty times their weight of shit on their shoulders?  That's us.  If you love someone, let it go.  If he finds his way back to you, he was yours all along.”

“Yeah.”  Then, “That's the coolest thing ever.  Soulmates.  Knowing my heart only ticks for you.”  There's a beat.  Blaine must be thinking how to word what comes out of his mouth next.  Kurt waits.  “My bruised heartstrings are mended back to health, you know.”

“As are mine, my love.”

“Hey.  Uh, Kurt?”  Blaine sits up completely and tries to cover at least his softening cock with the covers, draping diagonally across the corner of the mattress.

“Yeah, Blaine.”  Kurt's eyes are closed, but he smiles in the general direction of Blaine.

“Look at me.”

“What?”  Kurt opens his eyes and finds Blaine, once again rummaging through something, this time his pants.  He finds what he's looking for after much effort and turns around, standing up completely naked and softening.  He fiddles with the ring, turning it over and over between his hands.

“Will you, um… will you marry me, pretty boy?”