Blaine sat on the couch in his living room, a room he rarely inhabited, and stared at the wall. He wasn't sure how much time passed – an hour, a day, a week, a year. He could hear Haley and Santana in the background making dinner, but he could not bring himself to join them.

Blaine felt completely and utterly empty. He could not remember ever feeling more hollow than he felt in that moment. It seemed like nothing mattered to him anymore. Blaine had been happy before Kurt left.

Well maybe not happy. If Blaine was being honest with himself, he had been living some sort of quasi-happy life where the only happiness he really had came in the form of a little girl who held the key to the happier days of his life. It wasn't fair to Haley, and it wasn't fair to Blaine. But how could he make things right now that he had gone so wrong.

There were tears falling down his face but he made no move to rid himself of them when he heard Santana walk into the room. She sat down beside him and placed her hand onto his back, rubbing small soothing circles. "Why did you let him go?" she asked quietly – she knew no was not the time for her bitchy remarks.

Blaine sniffed and curled even deeper into himself, "I didn't know how to keep him," he admitted. "I'm afraid Santana. I'm afraid to let myself love him again. What if I hurt him? What if he hurts me?"

Santana stopped rubbing and looked at the man next to her. For a second, it looked like he was the same man he was years ago: lost in his own thoughts and afraid to take the necessary steps to get the man who completed his life back. "You really are a coward," she said quietly, "a big, fat coward."

Blaine stopped crying, blinking a few times, "That's not necessarily helping me right now."

"Yeah well," she took her hand off of his back and glared at him, "you are old enough to help yourself, Blaine. You're so afraid of screwing everything up that you do exactly that. You had Kurt right in front of you but you were too afraid to get hurt. Too afraid to open up to him again. You are nothing but a coward, Blaine Anderson. I'm surprised you even have the ability to get up in the morning. What if the change in elevation gives you a nosebleed or you stub your toe?"

Blaine blinked a few more times, "Excuse me?" he eventually said.

"You heard me," Santana stood, "You made a mess, Blaine. Years ago it might have been his fault that you two divorced; but you were both young then. Now you both know better and you just let him walk away again. You would have just had to tell him how you feel right now, in this moment. Did you think he was going to sing some song again to make you pluck up the courage to tell him how you really feel? You preach to everyone that they need to just follow their dreams and have the guts but you do not have it yourself. You couldn't get yourself to tell him how you feel knowing just how he felt back. You are a coward."

Blaine stood now, getting closer to Santana, "I do too have the courage to tell him how I feel. I am not a hypocrite."

Santana bit her lip, trying to hold back her squeals of happiness "Do you? Then go, Blaine. Follow him. Tell him how you feel. If you are lucky, he will listen to you. I know I wouldn't."

"Haley," Blaine called over his shoulder, already making a to do list in his mind, "pack a bag."

"No," Santana caught his stomach, "go by yourself. This is between you and Kurt, no one else. Don't you dare use your daughter as a launching pad or a bartering tool. You go by yourself and do this how you were supposed to. No more planning, no more plotting. Go and lay it all on the line."

"What if he says no?" Blaine allowed some of his worry to seep into the conversation.

Santana shrugged, not giving Blaine the confidence she knew he was looking for, "To get him back, is that a risk you are willing to take?"

Blaine took a deep breath and nodded again, "Will you watch Haley for a few days?"

"I can, but it will cost you," she said with a wink and an internal flail.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kurt sighed heavily as he threw the bags down on his bed. He wanted to crawl up in it and sleep forever. He hoped the nightmares there would replace the one in which he was living.

Burt's boots clambered behind him, causing Kurt to sigh. Burt rarely came anywhere near that end of the apartment, always letting Kurt have his privacy. "You okay kid?" he asked gruffly. Kurt knew that his father was taking this as hard as he was.

Kurt nodded but wanted nothing more than to fall into his father's shoulder and sob about his life and all of the stupid choices he made. He couldn't help but feel every time he made a stupid decision, life punished him for it for years. "I just…I really thought he'd try to make me stay, Dad. He kept preaching about how we are friends and how friendship was enough for him but we aren't even that! There was no friendship formed over a cup of coffee and two people being afraid to really speak what we felt!"

Burt shook his head and leaned up against the wall, a weary frown on his lips, "I can't believe he let you go either, kid. Maybe it is time to move on. Maybe you should try to find someone else that will make you happy."

Kurt shook his head furiously, "No! I don't want to let him go! No one else is going to make me happy, Dad. I know. I know what I felt and even when I wanted to push Blaine into the lake and hold him under, I still felt more at home with him than I ever feel with anyone."

Burt shook his head, "I understand Kurt, I really do but I think enough is enough. You can't let him drag you down forever. Do you really think it will be worth it to sit around again and just wait for him to come to his senses?"

Kurt nodded, because he really did think Blaine would come. He didn't know why, but throughout their relationship they always had a sixth sense about the other. When one was hurt, the other knew. When one was happy, the other knew. Kurt knew Blaine would come for him. He knew they would be together.

But when? He had no idea if it would be this year or in thirty years when they were both knocking on death's door. Kurt hated to admit it, but he would wait as long as it took.

"Dad…we'll be together again. I have faith in Blaine," Kurt said quietly, he hated letting his father down but he just didn't have the strength this time to put on a brave, independent face. "I know you don't want me to wait…"

"I want you to be happy," Burt interrupted, "I don't care if that is with Blaine, some model who is nineteen or a woman. I've never cared who you found happiness with but what are you going to do? Wait until you visit California again or until he comes to visit you? It took ten years the first time and that was only because you have two very inventive little girls."

Kurt wanted to shake his father and tell him he had no idea what was going to happen. But Kurt had to believe in Blaine. He had believed in him every time, when it took him months to realize that there was something between them, when it took him ages to propose and even longer to actually write his vows for their wedding. Kurt had had faith every time and he wasn't going to give it up. He believed in Blaine.

Taking in a shaking breath, Kurt brought his eyes up to meet those of his father, "I understand what you are trying to tell me, Dad. But I don't think I can move on right now. I'm going to go to bed and when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to work. This is just another bump in the road and we can progress from this. I believe in our love."

Burt smiled sadly at Kurt, "Just know that I will always be here for you, Kurt. I'll go get Natalie into bed so you can have some peace and quiet. Will I see you tomorrow?" Burt knew that whenever things were going badly for Kurt he tended to wrap himself up in his work until he fell asleep at his sewing machine.

Kurt shrugged, "Maybe. It depends on if tomorrow is a good day or a bad day."

0o0o0o0oo

It was a bad day.

Kurt snapped at several of his assistants, stabbed no less than five models with pins, and screwed up three orders of his newest line. It was so bad that his secretary told him to take the rest of the day off, but Kurt ignored her as he want to sketch in his personal fitting room.

He had to keep busy. Being busy meant he didn't think and not thinking meant he didn't cry.

He sketched many things, none of them particularly earth shattering. He usually could channel his pain and emotion into something fantastical, but instead they came out depressing.

Perhaps he could design a line of funeral suits.

"Mr. Hummel?" his secretary poked her head in the room, "you have your fitting here."

Kurt grabbed his phone and panicked, "I don't have another fitting today. My last one was at eleven."

The woman furrowed her brow, "You don't? He said he was here to see you. He doesn't look like a model but…."

Kurt sighed, "And you just assumed a random guy that doesn't look like a model could get a fitting with me? And he just assumed he could walk in?"

The woman's eyes widened as Kurt snapped at her, "I'm sorry sir…I just…"

Kurt rubbed his temples, "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I've just had a long day."

She nodded sympathetically, "You mean your vacation didn't relax you?"

Kurt laughed hollowly, "Not even close. You can tell the man to come in. I'm not doing anything productive anyway." He gathered his sketches and dumped them into his recycling bin.

He heard footsteps approach but when the man said nothing, Kurt turned around – his irritation level with the man rose from a seven to a ten.

Blaine.

His jaw nearly hit the floor when his eyes met the hazel eyes he'd been missing. Blaine looked like he hadn't slept, the bags under his eyes looked painful and his hair was a matted mess.

"Hi," Blaine said hoarsely.

"Hi," Kurt said back, a dopey smile on his face. He couldn't help it, no matter what Blaine did he would always have the ability to make Kurt smile in some way.

Blaine walked slowly across the room, "I'm an idiot," he said with a laugh, "and I can't believe I let you walk away again."

Kurt shook his head, "I can't believe I walked away again. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, even harder than the first time."

Blaine bit his lip, "I know what you mean. I wanted to grab you before you even turned around."

"Why didn't you?" Kurt moved closer until they were dangerously close, breathing each other's air, "why didn't you follow me again?"

"I wasn't sure you wanted me to. I know said that you wanted me to follow you years ago, but I wasn't sure about this time. I…. I was afraid. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you and yet you keep letting me back in every time I screw this up."

Kurt leaned against his sketching table and crossed his arms, "You know, I would totally offer to go sit somewhere with you and talk but I have to fit some random guy who walked in and asked for my service," Kurt rolled his eyes dramatically, "can you believe the guts of this guy?"

Blaine pursed his lips and shook his head, "What an asshole. I'll tell you what," he leaned slightly closer to Kurt, "how about you fit this schmuck and I'll go get myself cleaned up and maybe even sleep so pigeons can't build homes in the bags under my eyes. Then I'll pick you up and we can go out for dinner and talk. Really talk."

Kurt paused as if to think, "I suppose if I'll get a free dinner out of it I can…"

Blaine reached his hand out and laced his fingers with Kurt's for a few seconds, "Then it's a date?" his voice caught on the last word, but Kurt still understood what he meant.

"It's a date," Kurt said wistfully.

Blaine stared for a few seconds before letting go of Kurt's hand and walking with a smile over his shoulder. Kurt waited until Blaine was out of the store before screaming loudly at the top of his lungs. "OH MY GOD!" he said, nervous energy coursing throughout his body, "I cannot believe this!"

He started hopping in place, not quite sure how to expel the energy. "He came after me," he said to himself, "he came after me!"

A throat cleared behind him and Kurt froze, "Yes?"

"I just um, I realized I forgot to tell you a time," Blaine said while trying to hold back his excited laughter.

Kurt felt himself grow red but remained poised, "Oh. Well, I just assumed…"

Blaine nodded, "Yeah, I understand. So seven?"

"Seven," Kurt echoed with a small nod.

"I'm really leaving this time," Blaine said with a small laugh, "continue to celebrate."

"I will," Kurt motioned to the computer, "a company just bought 5,000 pairs of pants that I designed. It's something to celebrate."

Blaine scrunched his face up and nodded, "Of course. Congratulations!"

"Thanks," Kurt said weakly. He really needed to work on his lying skills.

Blaine turned and left again, his shoulders shaking from the laughter he held back. He couldn't help but Kurt to be quite possibly the most adorable thing he'd ever laid eyes on. He still had a youthful quality that Blaine loved.

Kurt quickly packed up his things and cleaned his workstation. It took him twice as long as it should have, he worked with fumbling hands and couldn't pay attention to anything but the excitement he felt.

He had a date with his ex husband, and it was going to be amazing.

Kurt ran home, the energy he had wouldn't allow him to sit in a cab no matter how short the ride was. When he ran through the front door, he almost barreled over his father.

"Whoa! Where's the fire?" Burt asked before taking in the huge smile on Kurt's face. "What's up?"

"I," Kurt said proudly, "have a date."

"With who?" Burt tried not to let any hope into his voice be he thought he might know who was taking his son out. Kurt didn't answer right away so he followed him to the bedroom.

"Some really cute curly haired boy with the most amazing hazel eyes," Kurt said dreamily, running around looking for his favorite suit and attempting to not completely lose his cool.

Burt held onto the doorframe to support himself, "You mean the kid actually pulled through? Did you see him in person?"

"Yes," Kurt rolled his eyes, "and he's coming for me at seven so I need to figure this out."

"Kurt, that is in nearly four hours," Burt shook his head at his son, "it will not take you four hours to get ready."

"I need to look great!" Kurt pulled several suits out, trying to figure out which one was the specific one he was looking for.

"You don't have to do anything, he is the one who should have to do all the work."

"You have to say that, you're my father, which one of these looks better?" Kurt held up two different ties.

"I thought being friends was enough? Why should you have to dress up for dinner with one of your friends?" Burt couldn't help but feel nostalgia as he watched Kurt try on different clothing options; it was like he was seventeen all over again.

Kurt didn't stop trying on clothing as his father lectured, but he did roll his eyes a few times. "Dad, you know Blaine and I have never been just friends. Not even when we were friends. My feelings have always and will always run deeper than that."

"And I'm just telling you I don't know if that is a good idea," Burt knew he was pushing but he had to try to talk some sense into Kurt – or at least let him see the sense himself.

They went back and forth for the rest of the time Kurt got ready. Kurt wasn't about to listen to his father, and Burt threatened to sit Blaine down and talk to him. Both agreed that wouldn't be the best option because they were keeping Natalie in the dark about the entire thing.

Though the way she was attached to her cell phone, they figured she already knew everything.

When seven rolled around there was a knock on the door. Kurt felt his heart constrict as Burt rushed to answer the door. Burt flung his arms around Blaine, "I knew you'd pull through," he whispered, "but don't let Kurt know I knew."

Blaine was confused and stared at the apartment in awe. He'd never seen it, Kurt realized, and watched as he took in where Kurt lived. "Your home is lovely," he said eventually.

Kurt couldn't help but giggle at how adorably tense Blaine was, "Do you have something behind your back?" he asked, trying to relieve some of the tension.

"I…yes," Blaine pulled his arm from behind his back to reveal a long-stemmed red rose, "For you," he said quietly, hoping Burt wouldn't interrupt.

Kurt blushed and took the rose in one hand and latched his hand into Blaine's to pull him toward the kitchen. "Let me just get a vase for this and then we can go."

Blaine followed and stared around the place like he was a tourist.

Kurt quickly filled a vase with water and placed it on the kitchen table, "It really is beautiful Blaine, thank you."

Blaine shrugged, "I just wanted to do something special for you."

Kurt claimed Blaine's hand again and walked them out, "Don't stay up," he called cheekily to Burt.

Blaine laughed and they quickened their pace as they walked toward the elevator.

It was slightly tense on the way down, neither really knowing what to say to the other. They kept their hands clasped as they walked down the street.

Kurt stopped abruptly once they were about a block away, "You know, I'm not really hungry."

Blaine laughed, "I'm not either. I don't…I can't…I'm too nervous to eat."

"Want to just walk and talk?" Kurt knew he wouldn't be able to stomach any food nor tolerate any idle chitchat. He wanted to get down to the basics.

"Yes," Blaine adjusted his hand in Kurt's and they continued walking without a care for where they actually ended up.

Eventually they both realized they were falling into the same trap. They were so content actually being together that they got nowhere in their conversation.

"So explain to me why you wanted out of this years ago," Kurt said quietly with a squeeze of his hand. He wanted Blaine to know they could have the conversation and he wouldn't take anything too personally.

Blaine took a deep breath, "I felt overwhelmed. When we got married I thought I was getting a partner. It was fine, you know…the working those crazy hours at first because I was pretty much working from home. I was always ready for you and we could have those…moments and conversations that made our relationship what it was. Then we decided to have the girls…and it changed. I suddenly felt like I had a partner who wasn't….who wasn't living up to his end of the deal. But…that wasn't it. I just felt like I wasn't good enough because I wasn't dividing up my time well enough. I would spend all of this energy on these beautiful girls and then have none to give to you. I constantly felt like I was failing because by the time you were home…I was tired and didn't want to have those moments. Then I started to resent the fact that you got away – you got to leave the house. I know you hated that the girls were closer to me, but I hated that you got to have this real life. We were so young, Kurt. I can't believe no one tried to talk us out of becoming parents that young. It wasn't like they were some sort of mistake! But then the resentment turned because I put so much of myself into those girls and it felt like…it felt like you didn't care about any of us. When you missed that picnic…it was something so small. I didn't want it to become the big deal that it was. I honestly thought you would apologize and then try to make up for it. Instead you got yourself a lawyer. I was too terrified to even try to ask you to stop with everything. I was stubborn but more than that I was hurt…I didn't expect you to actually go through with it all."

Blaine had barely realized that Kurt had sat them on a bench in Central Park. He was heaving by the time the words spilled out of his mouth. "And that is what happened…basically."

Kurt tried to process everything he heard while not taking everything personally. The person Blaine was talking about was years ago, and that was not who Kurt was today. He thought for a moment and realized he couldn't Blaine blame for feeling what he felt. Blaine was entitled to his emotions and feelings. Kurt also knew that Blaine always felt more than he said, and that it always took Blaine a long time to express his emotions. "Can I tell you why I worked so much?" Kurt asked with some trepidation.

Blaine nodded and moved closer, closing both of Kurt's hands with his, eyes intent – he wanted to know so much. He wanted answers to the questions he'd been asking himself for ten years.

"I worked because I wanted to make you proud of me. I know you love me no matter what I do or how I do it…but I needed to feel a reason for you to be proud of me. I was so proud of you every single day. I watched you build up this little company and you were getting exciting news every day. And there I was, the artist husband of the next big thing. The man who was going to change the business world. I wanted to be something. I didn't want to be some…trophy husband that dabbled in designing. Then we talked about children and I was so excited because we would get to spend time together and both take a step away from work. Then I saw how you were with them. I saw how they just took to you like it was nothing at all. I never had the parental bone in my body. I never took to children. So once again I felt like I wasn't enough. But I could design and I could make money…more than you were making because you willingly stepped away to raise a family. When you said you wanted a divorce…I was so blindsided. I threw myself into m work and became this robot. I didn't even think that maybe you didn't want the divorce. I thought about getting myself out of it without losing too much dignity. I also wanted…I wanted you to fail at something Blaine."

Blaine was taken aback for a moment but didn't let Kurt's words hurt him. "So what I'm hearing," he tried to be as diplomatic as possible, "is that if we…if we were to ever be more than friends…we would have to learn to talk to each other."

Kurt's heart warmed again, knowing that Blaine was even thinking about them being together again was enough for him. He bit his lip shyly and looked up at Blaine, "You mean…when?"

Blaine looked at him with questioning eyes.

"When we get back together," Kurt said quietly but hopefully.

Blaine's face broke out into his first genuine smile in a long time, "Absolutely. When." He nodded, "When we get back together."

"When," Kurt echoed, not really sure where to go. They had so much more to talk about. "Okay…so when…what would happen? You obviously can't move here."

Blaine looked crestfallen, "I really can't. I mean…I could sell the factory and do something else here…"

Kurt nodded, "That could work. Or…when the time comes, I could move there. Dad is getting a little old for this crazy city. I mean…I would have to come here occasionally."

"And I would be okay with that!"

"Your house is plenty big," Kurt tried to come up with any cons to the plan. He loved New York, but the allure seemed to wear off for him after awhile. He just wanted to be where his family was.

"What about Brittany?"

Kurt paused, he hadn't thought about the girl. "Well I still need an assistant."

"Hmm…yeah." Blaine stood, "Come on, let's walk."

They walked hand in hand around the city, talking about everything that could possibly go right with when they became a couple again. Neither mentioned that they were already holding hands or that they both knew their feelings ran deeper than friends. They simply enjoyed each other's company and let their feet carry them wherever they wanted to go. There were no plans and no rules, only them.

They'd been walking for nearly two hours when Blaine realized how late it was getting, "I should probably get you home. Your father is probably waiting up like he was when we were in high school."

"I wouldn't doubt that," Kurt navigated them toward the high rise. "How long are you here?"

"I don't have a return ticket yet," Blaine admitted, "I didn't want to think about that when I bought the ticket here."

Kurt grinned because now he had a plan that would work. He allowed Blaine to walk him up to the door of his penthouse and turned, "Well I wouldn't buy that ticket yet."

"Oh yeah? Why not?" Blaine leaned against the wall.

"Well," Kurt grinned up at him, forgetting everything that had happened between them and just letting his heart do the planning. His head would beat him up for it later, but he had to go with the one thing that rarely let him down. "I just finished a line."

"Hmm hmmm." Blaine nodded with a smile, he thought he knew where the conversation was headed.

"And I mean…now would be an ideal time for me to make a move of some sort," Kurt was suddenly nervous because he knew he was taking a huge risk.

Blaine cupped Kurt's face, "You know, now would be a perfect time for me to help someone to move."

Kurt moved in closer, his eyes fluttering, "So when is…now?"

Blaine nodded and closed the gap between them and pressed his lips against Kurt's. Kurt wasted no time and threw his arms around Blaine's neck, instantly deepening the kiss and taking control. Blaine traced Kurt's bottom lip with his tongue and pulled Kurt even closer until there was no room between them.

"YES!"

Blaine and Kurt jumped apart to see Natalie standing in front of them holding her phone up; they could see Haley on the screen.

Blaine grabbed the phone, "Haley, go to bed. Now."

"But Santana said…"

"I don't care what Santana said, go to bed. Tomorrow you and Santana are going to clean out the guest bedroom to make room for Natalie…"

Natalie gasped, "You mean we're moving?"

Blaine realized then that it probably wasn't the best way to tell her, but was relieved the see the girl jump up and down again.

Straightening back up he wrapped and arm around Kurt's waist and accepted a chaste kiss from him.

Things weren't perfect, and there would still be a lot of bumps in the road but they needed to learn to go with the flow and learn from their mistakes.