Counting Every Star
BeautyHeldWithin
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Counting Every Star: Comfort


E - Words: 3,486 - Last Updated: Jul 20, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Mar 18, 2012 - Updated: Jul 20, 2012
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Chapter 12

Kurt pulled his knees up to his chin and stared at Blaine as he walked into the room, arms laden with bags upon bags. "What are you doing?" he sniffed, "don't you have work today?" Kurt check the wall to confirm that yes, Blaine should be working with the little kids.

"I took the day off," Blaine said simply, "I figured you needed me today." Blaine dropped the bags on the coffee table. "Are we going to do this here or in your room?"

Kurt stood shakily, his knees nearly giving out. Exhaustion coursed throughout his body; he had barely slept the night before. Meg had held him for a while as he cried after Blaine left for the night (because Meg insisted) but it still was not enough to make him sleep. "My room," he voice broke on the second word but he didn't care.

Blaine grabbed the bags again, ignoring Kurt's appeal to carry anything. "Upstairs to the right, yeah?"

Kurt nodded, realizing for the first time that Blaine really hadn't been in the house all that often. Usually they met somewhere in town, somewhere they both just met up. Kurt wondered instantly why that happened, why Blaine never came in even when they did find themselves at the house.

Furthermore, Kurt had only seen the inside of Blaine's room once, and he was not invited that time either. Since then, Blaine had gotten his rent in early and Kurt only had to enter the first level of the house to get the rent from the other boys. It bothered Kurt that he knew so little about Blaine.

Was Blaine using him just as a friend for the summer as well?

Did Blaine really care about him, or was he just someone to do things with?

Was Blaine going to walk out of his life and suddenly not care about him anymore?

Kurt almost wished he could go back to the time when he had no real friends; they couldn't hurt his feelings and let him feel disappointed again.

Kurt walked into the dark room and flopped down on the unmade bed. Usually he would care that Blaine was seeing such a messy side of him, but for once he just wanted to fall asleep for a very long time.

Blaine immediately walked over to the large window and pulled back the curtains, "No, absolutely not. You are not going to sit here and sulk. We are going to clean up this room and then we are going to watch any movie you want." Blaine motioned to a black zipped binder on the floor, "Those are all of my DVDs, pick whichever one you want to start with and clean a trail to the DVD player."

Kurt just sat and stared at Blaine, "Why are you doing this?"

Blaine stood up from collecting a pile of dirty clothes and throwing it in the hamper. Kurt felt slightly embarrassed when he saw a pair of boxers in Blaine's hand but said nothing. He searched Blaine's eyes trying to find the answer. Blaine sighed, "Because you're my friend and I don't want to see you let one jackass ruin your life."

Kurt wanted to resign, but he knew Blaine was right. "I'm really your friend, right?" his voice was small and he hated the way it sounded, making him sound even weaker than he really was.

Blaine threw another pile of clothes into the laundry basket before sighing and flopping onto the bed with Kurt. "Kurt, don't do that. Don't break away from everyone because of one asshole. You are an amazing person and you deserve to be surrounded by people that love and care about you, but you have to let them. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. I don't…I don't really have a lot of friends either, so this is pretty special to me."

Kurt nodded, not making eye contact. He wanted to believe Blaine, he wanted to know that there was someone there.

"You have people that care about you," Blaine continued, obviously sensing that Kurt didn't want to talk. "You have Meg, you have your Dad, you have Emma, you have Rachel, and you have me. We might not look like what you expected or fall into the traditional age range," he chuckled, "but are here for you."

Kurt glanced down at his lap, "I just…why did he have to do that? I told him how important he was…that he was my first everything..."

Blaine sucked in a breath, "Kurt, did you have sex with him?"

"No!" Kurt shook his head ferociously. "I listened to you. God, thank you for warning me. But we did…we did fool around a little bit…that last night," Kurt hung his head in shame. "God I'm an idiot."

"No," Blaine jumped forward and touched Kurt, immediately looking up to make sure it was okay. "You were being a reasonable, moral human being. You didn't expect him to be a big jerk like that!"

Kurt laughed through a sniffle, "A big jerk? Those are fighting words."

Blaine blushed high on his cheekbones, "You know what I meant."

Kurt wiped at his eyes, the pressure behind them had suddenly been alleviated. "I guess I should clean this room up, huh?"

Blaine nodded, "How did you do this in the twelve hours since I last saw you?"

Kurt shrugged, "I was looking for something."

Blaine continued picking things up off the floor until he barked out a laugh, "You mean this?"

Kurt glanced over and saw that Blaine was holding up exactly what he had been looking for – Kurt had just hoped he would be the one to find it. "I...yes."

Blaine laughed, "I take it this was his?"

Kurt grabbed the torn up hoodie from Blaine, "Yes, it was. I decided to practice my tailoring."

"So you made it a hoodie only Lady Gaga would wear?" Blaine gathered some of the scraps that had fallen off of the hoodie.

"You know Gaga would not wear that," Kurt said as he stuffed the remains of the hoodie into a large bag. "It was therapeutic."

Blaine just continued picking up the scraps and laughing lightly to himself. Kurt was hoping that Blaine didn't think he was too much of an idiot.

Finally the room was presentable enough for Kurt to not be embarrassed. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he said awkwardly, "I promise I'm not usually like that."

"Hey," Blaine walked over and wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulders, "you don't have to apologize for anything with me. If you want to be messy, who am I to stop you? Also, you know who I live with – that was practically paradise compared to our living room."

"But your room was pristine," Kurt said shyly, he wasn't too sure Blaine ever wanted to talk about that awkward morning.

Blaine blushed slightly, "Because I don't really have time to search for a missing sock or a clean pair of underwear."

Kurt laughed, "Speaking of which, I'm going to go put on some clean clothes. I feel kind of gross right now."

"You don't have to for me, I think you smell fantastic," Blaine shrugged. "But just put on sweat pants because we are going to be lazy today."

Kurt nodded and grabbed a pair of sweatpants from him drawer, making sure to grab a matching top. He still wanted to look presentable to Blaine even if they were only having a lazy day. Kurt quickly threw on a pair of slightly tight red sweatpants that fell slightly past his knees. He chanced a look in the mirror before throwing on his shirt. He had dark circles under his eyes and a few bumps along his jaw. "Great," he muttered to himself before breaking into his face cleaning supplies. "This might take longer than I thought," he yelled out to Blaine.

"That's fine," Blaine's voice called back, "I have a phone call to make anyway."

Kurt quickly worked through his skincare routine, easily managing to reduce the redness of the bumps. He pulled the worn Lady Gaga Haiti Relief t-shirt over his head before walking out of the door. He was about to talk when he realized Blaine was still on the phone.

"I just don't see why he needs to be there," Blaine's voice was low and he seemed mad. Kurt couldn't help the thrill that hit his spine at the dark tone. He steeled himself against the wall, fighting back his urge to eavesdrop and the overwhelming urge to make whatever was making him so angry go away. "Coop I know, I know. I just…I don't think she'll want to see him really. And I know if I'm making the trip home I don't want to see him either."

Kurt bit his lip and strained to hear Blaine's brother on the other side of the phone. Blaine was such a huge mystery to Kurt; he only knew bits and pieces of Blaine's past and nothing from the last two years of his life.

But Kurt knew something was off.

"Okay, well I really don't want to drive home if I don't have to. I know…I should be there for Mom…but Coop you know how he is," Blaine was sitting on the edge of the bed now, his head in his hands. "I love you too. Can I talk to Mom?"

Kurt knew he should walk back into the bathroom and tidy it or at least do something, but he wanted to hear the conversation.

"Hi Momma! It's really great down here, the sun has been shining and everyone's really nice." Blaine paused and Kurt could only assume his mother was talking. "I'm at Kurt's right now…yeah, Kurt's the boy I told you about. No Mom…I didn't…It's complicated." Blaine laughed a little into the phone, "I miss you too. Work really hard, okay? I love you."

Kurt snuck back into the bathroom and counted to thirty before making a loud noise and walking back out into the room. "Hey! Sorry that took so long, I had to wash my face and brush my teeth."

Blaine wiped at his eye quickly, "And it took you that long?"

Kurt shrugged as he looked through the binder of DVDs, "I had to floss."

Blaine flopped back on the bed, stretching out, "Ah yes, oral hygiene is important."

Kurt laughed and immediately put Pretty Woman in the DVD player. He walked back and flopped on the bed next to Blaine.

"What are we watching?" Blaine asked, making no move to actually adjust his body to see the television.

"Pretty Woman," Kurt responded, staring at the ceiling.

Blaine coughed a little, "That uhm, that isn't mine."

"No?" Kurt turned to face Blaine.

"No," Blaine shook his head a little, "I like manly movies, Indiana Jones, James Bond, those types of movies."

"Blaine, I saw all of the Toy Story movies in there as well as Spirited Away," Kurt raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "Besides, I picked the movie."

Blaine nodded slowly, "Did you also see The Fast and the Furious? I own that as well. And all of the movies in The Matrix series…"

"Blaine, I'm not going to make fun of you for the movies you own," Kurt moved so that he was sitting against the headboard of the bed.

Blaine followed him, putting a little bit of distance between them, "Still, the movie was my Mom's, I accidentally brought it with."

Kurt nodded, "So now you're a thief? Maybe you shouldn't watch The Fast and the Furious."

Blaine's mouth twitched at the corner but he glared at Kurt, "Can't you see I'm trying to watch this movie? I've never seen it."

Kurt knew Blaine was lying. He knew because whenever Blaine lied he would tuck hair behind his left ear. "Whatever you say," Kurt knew he would have to catch Blaine in his lie somehow.

It was only a few minutes later when Kurt heard it, the unmistakable sound of Blaine's voice singing "King of Wishful Thinking."

Kurt turned to Blaine and looking up at him, "I don't need to fall at your feet," he sang lightly, "Just because you cut me to the bone…"

Blaine looked at Kurt in shock, "and I won't miss the way that you kiss me, we were never carved in stone…"

Kurt giggled, "You sir, are a liar. You so have seen this movie before."

Blaine froze, "No…I just…I just heard the song on the radio."

Kurt leapt to his knees, "You liar!"

Blaine shook his head, "I swear!"

"Just admit it Blaine!"

"No! I never saw this movie before!" Blaine was laughing now.

Kurt did the only thing he could think of, moved forward and tickled at Blaine's ribs, "Admit it or I will keep doing this."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's wrists and looked up into his eyes, "Fine! Fine okay? I've see the movie before."

Kurt looked down at Blaine's hands, "How many times?"

"Once or twice…"

Kurt started moving his fingers again.

"Okay! It might be one of my favorite movies!" Blaine was trying to push Kurt's hands away but couldn't succeed. Kurt overpowered him and ended up flying into his lap.

The air was filled with a little tension as they sat and watched the meeting of Edward and Vivian.

"You know, people underestimate this movie, they really do. I don't think people see it for the masterpiece it is," Blaine argued to no one in particular. "Richard Gere somehow manages to look attractive in those boxy suits. The story is totally about empowerment and being proud of who you are, which is a huge plus. And Julia Roberts looks freaking phenomenal in that nineties clothing that, in my opinion, needs to make a comeback."

Kurt quickly jumped off and landed as gracefully as he could on the bed next to Blaine. "You know, I don't really like liars."

Blaine scooted closer and pouted, "I'm sorry, can you forgive me?"

Kurt acted like he was thinking. "I suppose. But I also really don't think that clothing needs to make a comeback anytime in the next millennium."

"Well we'll have to agree to disagree there." Blaine turned back to the movie, not bothering to move away from Kurt. He curled up a little, and Kurt couldn't help but stare at the way his sweatpants clung to his muscles.

Kurt forced himself to look away. He couldn't do it again, have a crush on someone that would never really return it. That's what he chalked Paul up to, someone who wasn't going to be anything more than a crush in his memories. It sucked because he had genuinely forgotten about Paul for a few minutes, forgot the fact that he had been used as someone's summer romance. Paul was probably gloating about it to a few of his friends back at home, laughing at how gullible he was about the whole situation. He couldn't stand it, the thought of being a laughingstock again – that was supposed to be the Kurt from high school, not the Kurt that was living his life and taking no prisoners.

Kurt felt an arm on his shoulder, "Are you okay?" Blaine asked gently. "You're about to rip your comforter."

Kurt glanced down at his hands and saw that they were digging into the silky top of his blanket. "Oh, I'm sorry…I didn't realize I was doing that."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand, "Are you okay? Seriously. You can talk to me."

Kurt eyed Blaine warily. He still wasn't sure that Blaine wanted to be bothered with all of his problems.

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," Blaine gently reminded him.

"I just…I'm so hurt. How could he do that? How could he just use someone like that?" Kurt realized he was gripping on Blaine's hand. "Never mind, I'm sorry. Let's just watch the movie. I won't let him ruin something else."

They watched in silence again, occasionally glancing at one another when something funny happened, but not really saying a lot. It meant something to Kurt that Blaine was willing to spend a whole day just sitting around trying to help him get his mind off of Paul.

Vivian and Edward were lying in bed together on the television screen and Vivian whispered to Edward, "People put you down enough, you start to believe it." Then seconds later, "The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?"

"Amen," Blaine said under his breath.

Kurt turned to look at Blaine curiously. For the first time he realized that he might not be the only broken one sitting in the room. Blaine was so quiet, so reserved, and so attuned to Kurt's feelings. Kurt wished, not for the first time, that he knew Blaine better. He wanted to be able to help Blaine feel better when he was obviously upset about something. Kurt knew he could be selfish at times, but he pledged in that moment to make sure that he supported Blain as much as Blaine supported him.

Though the moment in the movie was over, Kurt reached over and grabbed Blaine's hand, "Hey Blaine?"

Blaine turned to look at him, immediately plastering the smile on his face, "Yes?"

"I think you are a very bright, very special man," he said quietly.

Blaine's face turned into a real grin. It was a simple shift, one that not everyone would notice, but Kurt did. The lines around Blaine's eyes deepened and his teeth clenched together slightly – that was the real Blaine smile.

Blaine blushed again and looked down, "Thank you Kurt. You know I think the exact same of you."

They watched again in silence, laughing together at the scenes they thought were funny. It was simple, being together and not really talking. It all felt totally natural in a way Kurt hadn't felt with someone else.

Kurt knew the scene was coming, but he couldn't emotionally prepare for it. Vivian was standing out on the balcony of the hotel, nearly crying. "When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would- I would pretend I was a princess... trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly this knight... on a white horse with these colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword. And I would wave. And he would climb up the tower and rescue me."

Kurt sniffed a little and turned away from Blaine.

"Hey, hey," Blaine came around in front of Kurt, "no hiding."

Kurt pulled his head out of his hands, already feeling the tears coming down his face, "God I was an idiot."

"No you weren't," Blaine's eyes searched Kurt's face. "What you did was perfectly acceptable, given your situation."

Kurt paused and looked at Blaine, "M-my situation?"

"Kurt, people never treated you the way you deserved to be treated. People were cruel and harsh to you all throughout your life. So the first time someone is nice to you? Of course you are going to be attracted to them. The first person to approach you? Of course you are going to fall hard for them."

Kurt sat up ramrod straight – is that really what he did?

"But Kurt," Blaine moved and grabbed his hand, "You deserve so much more than some random person walking up to you at the beach. You deserve a person who wants to be with you because you're intelligent, you're witty, and you're absolutely amazing. You deserve a person who knows that you can be a bit of a diva and still want you anyway. You don't deserve someone who picked you out simply because you are jaw droppingly gorgeous. It sucks, Kurt that you picked someone like him. But I'm glad he's gone, you know why?"

Kurt shook his head, still trying to get over the fact that Blaine called him "jaw droppingly gorgeous."

"Because you deserve better. Someone who is going to treat you like the precious person that you are. Someone who is going to awaken something inside of you and make you realize your full potential. Paul didn't do that, Kurt. You weren't yourself when he was around." Blaine's eyes bore into Kurt's with passion, "You deserve someone who can show you what love really is."

Kurt nodded, shocked. He actually believed Blaine. He believed that maybe there was someone who could love him. "I know you're right," he said lightly, "but I just…I still feel him everywhere. You know?"

Blaine quirked an eyebrow, "No…"

"I feel his fingers in mine. I've washed my hands like a million times and I still feel him there. I can feel his arms around me, I've scalded myself in the shower trying to get that off. I actually brushed my lips with a toothbrush trying to slough away any skin his lips touched. I can't get rid of the feeling of him."

Blaine took a deep breath, "Well then…" he grabbed Kurt's hand and laced their fingers together, twisting their arms lightly so their arms could touch. It was slightly awkward, but Kurt grinned up at him. "Better?"

Kurt looked at their hands, "Definitely."

Blaine uncurled their fingers and moved off of Kurt slightly, "Oh, I almost forgot." Blaine leaned down and pressed a kiss into Kurt's mouth, his lips slotting on Kurt's gently. Kurt moved slightly and bumped their noses together, bringing a hand lightly to Blaine's face.

Blaine pulled away, "Is he gone?"

"Without a doubt," Kurt said a little breathlessly.


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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY cheers! About time :P Gosh Kurt. It hurts seeing how low their self esteems are, but at the same time it's really easy to believe