beautifulwhatsyourhurry
Oct. 21, 2011, 5:31 p.m.
Things I Cannot Change: Epilogue: Pride
M - Words: 1,854 - Last Updated: Oct 21, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Sep 16, 2011 - Updated: Oct 21, 2011 18,261 0 86 6 2
Author's Notes: I'm SO TERRIBLY sorry for the long wait between the final chapter and this epilogue. I've been starting on 4 or 5 other stories and this epilogue just gave me so much trouble because I couldn't quite decide exactly what should happen. Anywhoozle, is isn't long but I really hope it shows the transition from Blaine's darker days to a brighter future. Enjoy!
Blaine Anderson wonders if this is how Pride is celebrated all across the United States of America. Is it just a colorful in New York? Is it just as loud in Chicago? Is it just as vibrant and exciting in San Francisco as it is in Columbus, Ohio?
He thinks it might be.
The summer sun is bright and happily shining on the top of his head. Kurt sits beside him on the curb, laughing loudly at something Rachel says. Rachel’s fathers sit on the other side of her, sharing a bag of candy they had purchased from a very eccentric, redheaded drag queen. Thousands upon thousands of people are crammed on the street as the parade continues to march.
Everyone looks so happy. Every which way Blaine looks, he sees a smile.
Decorated cars, lively floats, throngs of various supportive groups, bands, and street performers pass them by. FCKH8 and LEGALIZE GAY marriage shirts make him grin from ear to ear. A group of girls and boys traipse around doing back flips and front flips and all kinds of flips. He sees men and women of all ages, all shapes and sizes and he sees children devouring massive ice cream cones. The Human Rights Campaign marches by with a massive flag. He even sees two grown, balding men in swim trunks having a water gun fight.
Blaine can also safely say that he’s never seen so many men in spandex underwear, if one could even call it underwear.
He has also never seen so many men kissing men or women kissing women. He’s never seen so many men holding hands. He’s never seen so many carefree smiles in one place.
“Having fun?” Kurt nearly has to shout to be heard over the upcoming marching band.
“Y’know,” Blaine says. “I am.”
“Good,” Kurt says, nudging Blaine’s knee with his own.
Blushing as he ducks his head, Blaine glances up at Kurt through his lashes and they share a secretive, coy smile.
It’s all about smiles and, obviously, rainbows today.
“Oh, look, look!” Rachel squeals, smacking Kurt on his shoulder to get his attention. “I told you they’d be here!”
Curious as to what she means, Blaine looks up to see where she’s pointing.
He almost doesn’t believe his eyes.
“I – what – what’re they doing here?” he stutters.
“They’re here for the same reason you are,” one of Rachel’s dads says. “To show support and to have fun.”
Staring in disbelief, Blaine almost rubs his eyes as if he might be roused from a dream. There, plain as day, is a massive group marching behind a banner that reads “GAY UNDER GOD” in every color of the rainbow, framed by two crosses.
“But they – they’re-”
“You’re the one who told me that not all Christians are out to bash and condemn,” Kurt reminds him.
“Well yeah, but I just never expected – I mean-”
Blaine cuts himself off with a quick shake of his head. Unwillingly, tears begin to gather in the corners of his eyes but he wipes them away quickly. He never thought he’d see Christians march in a gay pride parade, never in a million, trillion years. Blaine had learned quite a bit over the past year and he had completely changed his way of thinking. However, he’s sad to find that he’s still so naïve on some fronts.
“March with them,” Rachel urges.
“What – no, I can’t-”
“Come on,” Kurt says, standing and offering his hand. “I’ll go with you.”
“We didn’t even sign up or anything!” Blaine squeaks.
“They’re not going to care,” Rachel says. “Trust me.”
“But-”
“Please,” Kurt says gently, hand still outstretched. “Just for a while.”
Biting his lip, Blaine chances another look at the group behind the banner. Maybe it’s the heat or maybe it’s their smiling faces, but he places his hand in Kurt’s and allows himself to be tugged to his feet.
“Just for a little while,” Blaine agrees.
They rush over to the group, Blaine more or less being dragged, and fall in line next to a kind looking woman with a baseball cap on. Her smile widens and she latches onto Kurt’s free hand as they continue to walk.
“Nice to have you with us, boys,” she says. “Where are you two from?”
“We live in Lima,” Kurt informs. “I hope it’s okay that we’re – I mean, I’m not very, um, religious, but my boyfriend is a Baptist.”
The woman clicks her tongue. “Rough.”
“Only sometimes,” Kurt says with a squeeze to Blaine’s hand. “We make it work.”
“Glad to hear it,” she says with a strong elbow to Kurt’s ribs. “My son’s one of the ones closer to the front of the parade dressed as Judy Garland. I have to say, he makes one fine woman.”
“That was your son?” Kurt asks in disbelief. “I could have sworn-”
“I know. The resemblance is outrageous.”
“I’ll say.”
They laugh together and Blaine suppresses a chuckle. They pass by Rachel and her dads who all wave enthusiastically until Blaine gives a shy little wave of his fingers in return. A group of half naked men trot along beside them, all holding hands with their partners and sharing sweet, chaste kisses in front of the entire crowd. The sight makes Blaine’s heart ache just a little bit.
He wishes he could be like that for Kurt. Well, maybe not the half naked part. He’s definitely not secure enough in himself to skip along in a rainbow set of spanky shorts.
Staring down at their entwined hands, Blaine slides a thumb over Kurt’s knuckle in a timid reflection of a public display of affection. The air around them is hot and thick with cheerful laughter and the scent of cotton candy from a nearby street vendor. The pride flags in every other person’s hands become dizzying sights. All at once he feels out of place yet completely safe. He feels like he doesn’t belong among such accepting, loving people but then he’s never felt quite at home as he does among thousands of strangers who don’t even know his name or his story. It’s confusing, exciting, terrifying, and liberating all at the same time.
“You okay?” Kurt asks as quietly as possible.
“Yeah,” Blaine says quickly. “I’m fine.”
“We can go back and sit if you-”
“No, I want to keep walking,” Blaine tells him because he does, he really does.
Kurt gives him a nod and they continue on their trek down the crowded street. With every few steps, Blaine becomes more at ease. They listen to the woman, Karen, as they had discovered, ramble on about her drama queen of a son for about a quarter of a mile until they catch a glimpse of something sad and completely uncalled for.
Near a stop sign, a group of seven or eight men and women hold various signs that completely demean the spirit of the parade.
“IF WE ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE, WE ALLOW CANNIBALISM, AND THE TERRORISTS WILL HAVE WON.”
“HOMO SEX IS SIN” and “ASK ME WHY YOU DESERVE HELL”
“THREE GAY RIGHTS: AIDS, HELL, SALVATION”
Blaine stares, jaw nearly hitting the ground as Karen urges them to ignore the hate but for some reason, Blaine can’t do that. Something snaps in him, something fierce and completely out of character. Conscience gone and self-preservation lost in his fury, Blaine drags Kurt over to stand directly in front of the group with signs.
“Blaine, don’t-”
“Three things!” Blaine shouts over the crowd and their bigoted rants. “One, if you’re equating gay marriage with cannibalism and cannibalism with terrorism, you need a refresher course on metaphors or comparisons. Two, I don’t have AIDS, my boyfriend doesn’t have AIDS, and I can bet that the majority of those participating in this parade don’t either. Get your facts straight. Three, you want me to ask why I deserve hell? Well guess what? I don’t deserve hell. I deserve love. I deserve love and I deserve equal rights and I have the right to kiss this boy whenever I please.”
With that, Blaine pulls Kurt flush against him and plants a deep, hot kiss on his lips in front of everyone who can see. He kisses him beneath the cheery sun, under a bundle of rainbow balloons, and he hears Karen cheering from her spot in the parade as he threads his fingers into Kurt’s hair. When he finally pulls back, they’re both breathless and Kurt looks completely dazed.
Blaine turns back to the group of sign holders.
“So stick that in your pipe and smoke it,” he finishes before shooting them the bird and giving them all a wink.
He wraps an arm around Kurt’s waist, his free hand adjusting the simple, silver cross around his neck, and begins leading him back to Rachel and her dads. Finally coming back to himself, Kurt blinks away his shock.
“You just-”
“Yeah,” Blaine says. “I did.”
“You flipped them off.”
“Yup.”
“You – you kissed me in front of-”
“There’s a first time for everything.”
“I’m so in love with you,” Kurt says in awe.
Blaine smiles, kisses Kurt’s cheek, and they continue to wander down the street back to their friends.
The summer’s hot, it smells like candy, and everything, quite literally, is bright and gay.
Blaine pins a new prayer to his corkboard, next to a picture he developed of him and Kurt from pride. He touches the picture with reverence, as if the picture itself, not just the memory, is a precious thing to behold. Turning back to his bed, Blaine settles on his knees and laces his fingers together atop his blanket.
The words are etched into his memory. They flow out through his lips without hesitation, like water over river stones, and he prays aloud.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next,” he concludes. “Amen.”
Blaine Anderson can grow and he can learn. He can love and he can teach and he can smile. But plenty of things exist in the world that he cannot change, no matter how strongly he prays or how fiercely he fights.
But that’s what God is for.
End Notes: END.I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED! And again, I'm so sorry for the delay.
Comments
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C R Y I N G. I love this story so much. I'm so sad to see it end, but it was a great ending, full of hope and resolution. I'm so glad Blaine found inner peace and figured himself out the way he did, without compromising any of his values.
this was perfect
Crying...that was gorgeous.
This is a perfect ending to this story- I love it :)
Awesome story!
1. I held my breath when Blaine grabbed Kurt and kissed him. (I dont know why I just did) AND 2. I teared up at the end. The prayer was the perfect way to close your story. p.s. i need a sequel or something I'm specifically going to miss you're version of these boys.
This is so beautiful and you completely broke me. Seriously, this is just... perfection made fic. All of it. I've been waiting for the epilogue so I can go on and re-read the whole fic because it's just that awesome. Gaaaah, I can't even describe my feelings. Just know that you created a thing of beauty.
This was a lovely end to the story. Thank you so much for writing it. I've been to a Pride Parade in NYC and while there was a lot more than just "sweet, chaste kisses" going on, and it was maybe not a place for children, it was very joyful. And I got to interview a church group that was marching in the parade. Anyway, all that to say this made me really want to go to one again. Thanks for your perspective.
Flawless.
That was a beautiful end to an even more magnificent story. I almost stopped reading when I saw Christianity was going to be a main theme, but I'm glad I stuck with it despite how vexatious I found the religious side to be to myself. It really is a wonderful story, and I cried and laughed along with it (: I'm really sad to see it's over. ~Sebastian
Can I just hug you and Blaine please? Thanks. This was just beautiful. I can't even begin to describe the feelings I have when I read your w=stories. You put so much effort and research into them, and they're all so different. Every single one takes my breath away.
i can't believe it's over' it's one of the best FF in the world and i loved every single chapter.
:)
You should become president of the world. Your words should be etched on buildings and into people's heart. That's all I have to say. God bless you and your talent.
I'm crying. This was one of the best fanfiction ever and you're so talented. PERFECT! I'm so sad it ended. :(
JAMIE MY FEELINGS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! I'M UGLY SOBBING NOW -xoxo PS Seriously, the prayer was beautiful. And I love how Blaine finally got the courage to speak about his and Kurt's relationship, and even managed to kiss him so alksdjfasdkljadf-ly in public :'D All the awards go to you!!
OH MY FREAKING GOSH! I HAVE TEARS OF HAPPINESS IN MY EYES! This has been the best story I've ever read. You write beautifully and your characterization is flawless. You showed character developement in everyone, especially Blaine and his family. And I loved every second of this story. I've read it twice now (well, pre-epilogue). I have a feeling I'll just have to read it again at some point. I just really wish this story didn't have to end.
Aww I'm happy Blaine got a happy ending after everything he went through in this fic. This was a great ending, I really liked it!
I had to wait until this was finished to read it. It was so hard being on tumblr every time a new chapter was released. Jamie your story, as all others, entrancing, enthralling. thank you
O.K. I must write. Before I started I was reluctant (I'm atheist), but I read it, I don't very good in English (as you can see), but I read it. And I've one word: supermegafoxyawesomehot. I'm really unhappy that it's end of this story. So, Jamie, when YOU post a sequel??????
Thank you so much for writing this Epilogue. It was the perfect ending to a great story!
;__; I just loved this story so much. It was a really beautiful fic and the idea behind it was brilliant.
great story :)
Well, the delay was worth it Don't mind me while I let the tears roll down my face because that was so, so, so perfect ... Thank you for such a beautiful story (as always I should add)
SOBBING. That was beautiful. I cannot even -
I love the prayer at the end, I just love it in general. I was on the floor rolling at what Blaine said to the protesters. Absolutely epic. Loved it. Sad to see the story end, but it ended on a great note. Excellent job. :)
I'm an emotional wreck right now. I can't believe that my favorite story won't get updated anymore! You are such an amazing writer and the day you're famous, I'm so gonna by all of your books :) Have a nice day! :)
I saw so many fic recs for this story and after reading the beautifully told tale, I can see why so many people enjoyed it. Thank you for a truly wonderful story.
Beautiful. Beautiful ending. More than worth the wait.
*squee* THIS WAS AMAZING AND ADORABLE AND WONDERFUL!!!!!!!
Beautiful!!!
Oh. My. God. GO BLAINE!! Wow. That really was a fantastic ending to your fantastic story! And now I need to go to sleep as it is 3 am and I have not been able to put my iPod down and stop reading this! Thank you again!!
D'AWWWWWWWWWW So SO my favourite Klaine story ever. I really felt this one, as my bf is Baptist too and all the issues hit close to home. Nothing but love for this story!!
This was just so lovely and perfect. A+.
Well, I'm sure I'm not able to write a decent review seeing that I'm not English and that I'm pratically... over emtionated now. This story is the best I've read so far. I love it, I love it and I'm going to print it and to read it so often that I will learn it by memory. I'm so in love with this fic that I think I'm going to cry. It is at the same level as my favourite books, and that, for me, it's really, really rare. I would say impossible. But this story... this topic, the way you wrote about homosexuality, fear, descrimination, love, being bullied... it all seem so real that I can't help loving it. I took a notebook and i wrote down all my favourite sentences. You're a genious, seriously, and I thought I never have said this to an author. I'm a writer too and i don't often compliments on other's stories. But you deserve all my admiration. You're... an Idol. You really are. Thank you for making me dream, for making me cry, for making me wait.. for everything. THANK YOU. Love, Elisa
This story needs to be on a bookshelf in every bookstore in the country. And a made for tv movie that I'll keep on DVD and watch at least once a month. ;) So much love for this. I barely have words.
That was so beautiful and wonderful and all the feelings and all the love and I'm so happy that Blaine's happy and that he stood up to the Christians and still wears his cross and I just love him and I love Kurt and I love this story and I love you. Thank you so much for this story, it was perfect and I think the fandom really needed something like this. You are wonderful.
~FLAILING~ YAY HAPPY ENDING!!
I am crying. I've read this many times. My dad is gay and was a Methodist pastor until he came out. I.. This really was amazing and you are incredibly talented. Thank you.
You know, I'm kind of in love with this story. I didn't think I'd be that into something about religion, but it was seriously amazing.
OMG AJDGSHDGSAHDGASHDGAS WHEN BLAINE GOES UP TO THE PROTESTORSASHJGSAA. THIS EPILOGUE WAS FUCKING PERFECT!
Why did I only read this now?? Your delay in posting caused a delay in me reading it, I guess, but it is lovely. Absolutely perfect. There couldn't have been a better ending to this story, so you definitely made the right decision in where you wanted the story to go. xx
Excellent story. I'm an atheist and so I love that they went there with Kurt because it adds such an interesting layer to his already amazing character. We don't know much about Blaine in canon yet. But this was a wonderful exploration. I was also raised Jewish although very secular. I loved all aspects of your story. Especially how you didn't just whitewash the potential damage a religious zealot can do by becoming blinded by the Bible but also how common sense and spirtuality can, in some instances, coexist. As long as respect exists and the simple notion of not hurting anyone overrides all else.
If I haven't told you that I love you for writing this story, please let me do so now. It was poignant, well-written, and thought-provoking. Absolutely incredible. You're amazing - please keep writing.
I love you... I've never read something by you that I haven't loved and this applies to this story entirely. You capured the religious aspects so well and did an amazing job:) Thank you for writing this, it was truly beautiful
I REALLY loved this! As a kid growing up through Catholic schools (my family isn't religious, but I am baptized as a Catholic) and with gay friends and family members who've had to deal with stuff like poor Blainers, this was...simply a REALLY enjoyable read. I don't exactly know how to put it in words. All I can think is "ALL THE FEELZ" so that's gunna have to do (: <3
This story is so absolutely beautiful! And what a wonderful ending!
The epilogue had me in tears. This story was perfect & amazing :)
Great job! <3
So, I just re-read this story. I needed to. Altough I didn't remember crying so much well, I remember being so touched by your story. I know you're atheist, and your friend is jew (I think?), but you have a way with words, and there is nothing wrong in this story. There are more important things than religion or Gods or books. And that thing is love, and this portrayed that perfectly. So thank you, again, because I hope one day I can show this story to people I love to make them understand how I think it should be. Until then, I'll be hoping. Also, I'll be waiting for your next stories. With love, Cecilia
I loved this story. I have met a lot of people with the ignorant hate of gays and I'm glad to have read this story and see that good people can change and be more accepting.
amazing story.
Genuinely one of the most beautiful, heart-warming, crushing fics I've ever read. I'm never going to get over that. It was so perfect. You're writing's explicit and your ideas are incomparable and it all seems so real. I admire you so much, and your story is pure beauty.
I LOVED THIS STORY, REALLY.IT LITERALLY BROKE MY HEART, BUT IN A POSITIVE WAY.I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSO TO TELL YOU CAUSE I'M CRYING AS A MAD AND I CAN SEE THE SCREEN ANYMORE, JUST.. THANK YOU <3@iLaRiettaiLoveU
OF COURSE. So I've been looking for a fic that covers more of the religious aspects of homosexuality, and dammit, of all the people who could have written one I find one by you. And, since it was by you, it was incredible. Amazing. And I found myself agreeing with it. Now, I'm not gay nor do I have any thoughts that I may be, but this story spoke to me so much. I have friends and I know people who condemn homosexuality, and I always feel a little stuck when I'm in those conversations. Thankfully, my church is non-denominational and very open and accepting, but I was still afraid to approach the subject. And now, it makes a lot more sense to me. I just understand more, as a Christian. I don't fully agree with every little thing said in this story, but for the most part, I feel the same way. So, again, thanks, for just being so awesome and open and perfect. Since you probably get really tired of my incredibly long winded reviews, I'll shut up now, because you probably haven't even bothered to read this far. So uh... bye, I guess.
Wow. That was absolutely beautiful, the whole story was. Thank you so much for sharing this fic with us, it was very unique And full of hope, very inspiring :)
:') beautiful.
This was beautiful. I am speechless. I'm very sad it's over though :(Well done!
superb. brilliant. magnificent. bonus points for blaine's totally awesome badass-ery.<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Okay... This is the third time I've read this and it still manages to make me cry. I absolutely adore this story. It's one of my favorites. Probably right after Forget Me Not. I absolutely adore this story.
Perfect. I don't have more words for it! This story is just perfect and I really enyojed reading it!
i love it!! excelent story.
Thanks for writing this from both sides. It was nice to read a story that had multiple viewpoints in it. Great story overall. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
I think you just ripped my heart out, stuck it back in, and then made me cry happy tears. This is a beautifully written story.
I absolutely LOVE this story and how it's just so. . . Acurate. And tasteful. I was raised in a very similar fashion to Blaine, my entire family is baptist and I lived in Kansas City, Missouri. I couldn't see anything wrong with how I was living and continually thought that homosexuality was a sin and so many other things that you covered in this story were how I thought because that was simply how I was raised. And then a little show called Glee and the help of two very inspiring TV characters, it made me realize that hey, love is love. It's that simple. This story touched my heart because there's so many aspects that are just how I felt and gosh, it's amazing. (I also happen to love the fact that you're the ONLY person I've ever seen write Missouri into a fanfic. Props go to you!)This story is brilliance.Melanie M.
I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed reading your story. It really touched me. I'm a Christian and it frustrates me how much we preach love and acceptance, yet we are very selective with who we give those to. I am so happy I stumbled upon this story. If you don't already know, Muchacha 11 has some fan art for this story on her tumblr. That is what directed me to this story. :)On a side note, I'm a member of the Seventh-day Adventist denomination. I don't know if you've heard of it, but I thought maybe you'll be interested in a documentary that is currently being shown around the nation. Here is the trailer: http://www.sgamovie.com/trailer/ If that piques your interest, the videos that pop up afterwards are very moving and inspiring as well. :)Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.
How did Blaine get the lily...?
Wow. First off, Brava.But second, and for me more importantly, this is thought-provoking. This changes the rules and the stereotypes. This didn't become what I thought it would: sensationalised angst and bashing. It became chaos, then organised chaos and then, what we all need more of, hope.If this fic does nothing else, it challenges both sides of the God vs. Gays 'debate' and I love that. It's not common for someone to make me think about an important topic by using God as a catalyst. My perspective has been altered and my head is almost spinning. And from me, there is no higher praise obtainable. Brava.And the rose? I think it was Blaine's mom.
Well, I must comment and say I was very...hesitant, if you will, to read this story because I am an Atheist and I wasn't quite sure what it was about when I started. I've never read any fic that's very religion/god-heavy, so I didn't know what I was in store for. For all I knew, I could have been starting a story about Kurt gaining faith in God, but in reality it was a quite beautifully written story of love and acceptance and growth. Everything about this was so wonderfully done and I literally have no complaints. It was realistic, believable, and incredibly beautiful.
Perfect :). Where did the flower come from though? I mean have ideas I just wanted to see if they right :) But in all This story is great.
beautiful
This is amazing. Which is kind of hilarious because I usually don't like the overly-religious-Anderson-family type fanfictions. So bravo and thank you for making this incredible story.
I love this story!
This was a truly great story. there are so many ways this story could have gone wrong when dealing with religioun but think that it was simply perfect!
I loved this story!!!! It was AWESOME!!!!!
That was soooooo good, really thought provoking.
I loved the way you ended this story :)
Amazing! Really well written and great insight into some of the harder topics! Thoroughly enjoyed this story - well done!
That was such a great, great ending and a great story. I enjoyed it SO much. I, myself, am a Christian and it just breaks my heart the way people are these days - including Christians and other religions. It's awful. My parents are that way, most of my friends are that way... blah.This story has not only pointed out things I agree with, it's pointed out new things for myself. This story is definitely inspiring and loving and it will go up on my list of fics that I just can't get enough of. And most of them are by you. ;)I have it a full 10!
I don't normally read relgious themed stories, but this one is wonderful. I loved Blaine's mom's defense of him, and Miss Pillsbury's explanation of 'filters'. Blaine's journey was heartfelt and well played out.
Great ending
Just amazing I want to print this off and put like a million copies in my school and in churches everywhere this story needs to be seen by all!! This is just amazing!!
Wow. This is such a wonderful story on so many fronts. The character development, the lengths you went to pull in the religous view point and it's impact on Blaine's character as well as Kurt's. Love how you resolved it with Blaine's parents. That they knew, had a plan and in the end didn't follow through on it is very believable. Really enjoyed how you used Rachel's dads in this story, their faith, the conversion and his final self acceptance I think were all very important parts of the story - that Blaine had to witness and process before he could eventually understand that these things could apply to him too. Thanks for sharing such a great story!
I'm crying. Why is it that everything you write makes me cry!? (That's a compliment by the way). I just... oh my gosh. I didn't expect to like that as much as I did. Gah! That was lovely.
Wonderful story! I’m not interested in that but the writing is so good I couldn’t stop reading this. I know you are really good with writing. Years ago your fics were the most beautiful fics and all the people just had fun reading them! You gave so much fun all the Klaine fandom! Thank you for writing ✍️
Beautiful story, I was enthralled all along. Thank you. You are a wonderful writer