Too Afraid To Love
batwaynebruceman
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Too Afraid To Love: The First Time


E - Words: 2,740 - Last Updated: Jul 01, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Oct 14, 2012 - Updated: Jul 01, 2013
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Author's Notes:

I'm sorry for the delay in updates! I seem to say that every time, so I'm sorry!

First off, I just want to thank you for your reviews - they give me inspiration and motivation to actually carry on writing this.

Another thing, I'm aware that the end of the last chapter was... vague. I'm sorry, I should have made it clear that there would be another chapter. So I'm going to say it now, this is NOT the last chapter! There will be more about this.

Warning time: SMUT. Seriously, this entire chapter is basically smut. If you don't want to read it, leave me a message and I'll tell you the basics of what happened, so you aren't behind in the story.

Yes, this is a top!Kurt chapter; if you don't like it then I'm sorry but stick around, because there will be top!Blaine in later chapters.

Okay, this chapter note is ridiculously long. I'm so nervous about this chapter, I edited it so many times. So, on with the story. I hope it's okay!

 

The group ended up going to a small, but pleasant restaurant just outside of Lima. It was nearly empty when they got there and the staff seemed thankful to have customers. Cooper insisted that it was a great place and that the food was amazing. A waitress pushed two tables together immediately and set about getting them seated. She was friendly, chatting with them for a while but best of all, she didn't look down on Kurt and Blaine, who'd kept their hands entwined from the moment they left the courthouse.

The change in Blaine was startling. Cooper watched as he talked with Rose about her career and laughed at Burt's jokes. Turn the clocks back a month and his little brother would have been terrified to talk to anyone but him and their mamma. Yet here he was, sitting and talking cheerfully, obviously comfortable. Kurt glanced at Cooper from across the table and grinned. He gave Blaine's hand a gentle squeeze – something Cooper didn't miss. In that moment, he knew they were feeling the same thing for Blaine; pride. The boy had overcome so much in such a short space of time, and Cooper had never felt prouder.

"Damn that was some good grub," Burt said a little while later. "Nice choice Cooper."

"Thanks Burt. I'll… be right back." Cooper got up and left the table. It took Burt thirty seconds to realise where he was going and why.

"Oh no he doesn't," he growled, getting to his feet. "Anderson, get back here!"

"What is he doing?" Kurt said. But then they saw the two of them arguing at the till, both of them pulling their wallets out. Then he understood. "Oh god, this is so humiliating."

"We get it all the time," their waitress said, coming back over to collect their empty plates. "We usually try to guess who will end up paying."

"Ten bucks says Cooper pays," Blaine said to Kurt, grinning.

"You're on, I'm going with dad."

The waitress laughed at them and walked away, her arms loaded with dishes. Eventually, Burt and Cooper came back, the older man looking disgruntled.

"What's wrong honey?" Carole said to him, trying not to laugh.

"He didn't let me pay. He wouldn't even tell me how much it cost."

Blaine let out a cheer, causing Burt to frown, confused. Kurt rolled his eyes and handed over the money.

"I'd better get going, my bus is in ten minutes," Rose said, getting to her feet. "I have a lot of work to get through. Kurt, I'll get back to you on what you asked me, alright? Blaine, I'm so happy for you. It was lovely to see you all again."

"I'll drive you home," Cooper said, also standing up. "It's not fair for you to have to get a bus alone."

Rose smiled, her cheeks pink. "That would be nice," she said quietly. Cooper, ever the gentlemen, put his jacket around her shoulders. They said goodbye to them all, Cooper promising to phone Blaine the next day, and left.

"He's smitten with her, isn't he?" Carole said, smiling at the door Cooper and Rose had disappeared through. Blaine nodded at her, also smiling. "Are you boys ready to go home?" She asked. "It's been a long day."

"I couldn't agree more," Blaine muttered, making Burt laugh.

The drive back to the Hummel/Hudson household was silent, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Once they were at the house, Burt and Carole told the two boys that they were going out.

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked.

"To see Carole's parents; I'm guessing you two don't wanna come?" Kurt rolled his eyes at his father. "That's what I thought. We won't be back 'till late, so you'll have to make yourselves dinner. Do me a favour and text Finn the results of the trial? He's been worrying all week."

They left the house and finally Kurt and Blaine were alone. Immediately, Kurt shoved Blaine against the nearest wall and crashed their lips together. The moment their lips connected, Blaine felt a jolt of electricity shoot through him and a small moan escaped his throat. He knew Kurt had been dying to get him alone and now he had. Blaine deepened the kiss, parting his lips and sweeping his tongue into Kurt's mouth. Kurt smiled and moved his mouth away from Blaine's, brushing over his neck.

Without warning, "It's My Life" starting blaring through the hallway. Kurt growled and tugged his phone out of his pocket, angry at the interruption.

"What is it Finn?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"You insisted on your ringtone being Bon Jovi."

"Oh yeah; you can't deny, he's a good-"

"What do you want Finn?" Kurt snapped, making Blaine snort with laughter.

"Oh, sorry dude, how'd the trial go?"

"It was fine. We won. He's going away for eighteen years."

"Hey man, that's great! Listen, the guys were thinking about going to Breadstix. Do you two fancy coming?"

"Not really Finn. After today, we just want to stay home."

"Aw c'mon, everyone's dying to see you! Why don't we all come over?"

"No! Tell them we'll see them tomorrow, okay? Blaine and I want to be alone."

"But what…? Oh man, are you two going to fu-"

"Goodbye Finn!" Kurt hung up on his step brother, hissing through his teeth. Without saying a word, he took Blaine's hand and led him downstairs.

They fell onto the bed, their lips never breaking contact. Kurt rolled them over so he was on top, trailing kisses along Blaine's neck. He tugged at his tie, throwing it to the floor, before unbuttoning his shirt with fumbling fingers. Blaine's chest was exposed to the cool air and he let out a small hiss. Then Kurt's lips were on him again, moving past the sensitive spot on his neck and along his collarbone. He began sucking lightly, which caused Blaine to buck his hips and groan.

"Patience," Kurt murmured against his skin. "I want us to become very well acquainted with each other's bodies."

"Kurt, please."

"Be patient baby, I just want to get to know your body."

Blaine let out a whimper but nodded. Kurt grinned and returned to what he was doing. Very slowly, he dragged his lips down Blaine's body. He stopped at each nipple, letting his tongue flick over them. It was taking all of Blaine's efforts not to grab Kurt and kiss him as hard as he could. Kurt kept up his deliciously slow pace and eventually, Blaine was lying in his underwear.

"I think one of us is overdressed," he said in a low voice.

Kurt barked out a laugh and shrugged out of his shirt and jeans, then climbed on top of Blaine again. Before he could do anything, Blaine flipped them over and began kissing him again. He tasted, almost tentatively, with his tongue and Kurt opened his mouth with a moan. Slowly and cautiously, Blaine moved his lips away from Kurt's, exploring his neck and collarbone. He grazed the skin with his teeth and then moved up along his arms.

"Blaine, what are you-?"

"Shh baby," he whispered. "You said you want us to get to know each other, that's what I'm doing."

"But I didn't mean… oh!" Kurt let out a noise that was almost like a sob when Blaine's lips brushed against the inside of his wrist. Blaine raised an eyebrow and repeated the action, causing another whine to escape his throat.

"Really… the inside of your wrist?" He said.

Kurt blushed. "Shut up, it… it makes me feel loved."

"You are loved," Blaine muttered, pressing another kiss to Kurt's wrist. "Very, very loved. But I want something from you."

Kurt sat up slightly, frowning. "What do you want?"

"Um… Well, it's sort of…"

"Just tell me honey. You know we can share anything, right?"

"I know, it's just… we've only been together for a month and it's really soon but…" He took a deep breath. "I just really want you to sleep with me."

"I thought that's what we were doing-"

"No Kurt, I mean I want everything. I want you inside me. I trust you to do it."

"Oh. Are… are you sure?" He nodded. "I'd love to."

"You would? You don't think it's too quick, or too soon or-"

"You're rambling baby," Kurt said gently. "It may be a bit fast, but… god I want to. You're definitely sure about this?"

Blaine was silent for a few seconds before he nodded. "I am."

"Okay um… stay there. I'll go get some lube and a condom."

Blaine nodded again and watched as Kurt got to his feet. He stripped off his underwear in one swift, fluid motion and moved across the room, opening a drawer and rummaging inside. Blaine took the opportunity to study Kurt, really seeing his boyfriend for the first time. He'd never really thought about what a guy actually looked like before. Blaine always knew he was gay, but he never thought about what that actually meant. But all he could think about was how fucking perfect Kurt's cock looked. It may have been creepy, but he couldn't help it, especially because he knew he was the reason Kurt was so turned on. Kurt turned around and blushed under Blaine's gaze. He walked back to the bed and set the condom on the table beside them.

"Take your underwear off," he said, "then lie back on the bed and spread your legs."

Blaine nodded and did what he was told, relaxing against the pillows on Kurt's bed. Kurt opened the bottle of lube in his hand and poured a generous amount onto his fingers.

"Are you sure you're ready?" He whispered. When Blaine nodded, he reached out to stroke the hole in front of him. Blaine stiffened involuntarily at the touch and let out a long breath.

"Please Blaine; tell me if it's too much at any point."

"I… I will."

"Good. The more relaxed you are, the better it will feel." He whispered, slowly inserting a finger into him. Blaine immediately started taking deep breaths, focusing on the how Kurt felt inside him. There wasn't as much discomfort as he'd expected – some pressure, a slight burning stretch here and there, but that was it. Kurt's other hand had worked its way to Blaine's cock, stroking it slowly as he kissed his neck. Flashes of pleasure shot up his spine, causing him to relax even more.

"I c-can handle more, please."

Kurt just nodded and slowly inserted another finger, causing Blaine to give a soft moan. He felt like he was melting into the sheets. Then a sudden jolt of pleasure shot through his body, taking him by complete surprise. He opened his eyes and he stared at Kurt, his mouth slightly open. The blue eyes stared back at him and a small, satisfied smirk appeared on his lips. Kurt adjusted his position, stroking again.

"Fuck! Oh my god Kurt… shit!"

Blaine threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as Kurt continued to move his fingers. The sparks of pleasure were different to anything he'd ever experienced before; they started deep inside of him, burning up his spine and through his body until he was trembling from pure desire. Blaine started moaning brokenly, his chest heaving with uneven breaths. He was rambling, moans still escaping his throat. He started to move his hips with Kurt's fingers without realising it.

"Shit Blaine, you… fuck."

"Kurt, please. I need you!"

"Are you ready for this?"

"For the love of god, just fuck me. God dammit Kurt, I need you!"

Kurt let out a nervous laugh and slowly withdrew his fingers. Blaine didn't mourn the loss of contact; he watched as Kurt rolled on a condom, trembling slightly. He spread a little more lube onto him and lined himself up with Blaine. The two stared at each other for a long moment.

Then Kurt pushed himself in at an agonisingly slow pace. He let out a hiss and Blaine couldn't help but grimace in pain as the stretch became even more intense.

"Can you just stop for a second, p-please?"

"Of course baby, I'm sorry."

Kurt's voice was tight and strained. It was obvious how worried he was about hurting him. Blaine took several deep breaths to calm himself and moved his hand to stroke up and down Kurt's back. It didn't take him very long to relax – soon he was nodding at Kurt to move again. Before he knew it, Kurt had bottomed out and was trembling above him, waiting for permission to move again. It wasn't as bad as Blaine expected, but it was uncomfortable and stretching. Not to mention he felt so fucking full.

"Okay," he said breathlessly. "Yeah, go ahead."

"If you need me to stop, just-"

"Kurt, just m-move, please?"

Kurt nodded and slowly moved in and out, careful to keep his pace gentle. The first couple of thrusts made Blaine close his eyes and take several deep, calming breaths. He couldn't help it – everything was brand new to him, his body wasn't used to it. What surprised him was how quickly he adjusted. The intense, almost uncontrollable pleasure from before came back all at once. Instead of being overwhelmed by it, the sensation of Kurt inside him was just phenomenal. Low moans of pleasure came from Blaine, making Kurt smile slightly.

And then Kurt hit Blaine's prostate.

"Fuck Kurt! Holy shit!"

Kurt laughed softly and thrust on the same spot again. Blaine wrapped his legs around his waist, hooking his ankles to make sure he stayed at the same angle. They were both wrecked; faces and chests flushed, sweat sticking to their bodies and damp hair hanging in their eyes. They were both shaking uncontrollably as they slammed into each other, over and over again. It was sensational.

Each hit to his prostate had Blaine moaning incoherently, gradually getting louder. He grasped at Kurt's back with his fingers, digging in hard as the intense waves jolted through his spine.

"D-Do you need me to touch you?" Kurt managed to gasp.

"No. I'm so fucking close – oooh fuck, Kurt!"

Blaine's head snapped back onto the pillows and his back arched off the bed. His release slammed through him, leaving him shaking and sobbing Kurt's name. Fireworks exploded behind his eyes and his breath was raspy and tight.

The moment Blaine tightened around him, Kurt knew he was a goner. His orgasm crashed over him and he shouted Blaine's name, his hips snapping forwards one last time. He shuddered with the intensity. The two of them fell into a slow rhythm, easing each other through the aftershocks.

Kurt collapsed on top of Blaine without meaning to. Blaine gave a shaky laugh and ran his hands up and down his back in slow circles.

"Are you okay?" Kurt mumbled.

"I've never been happier," he said honestly.

Kurt let out a deep breath, calming slightly. He pulled himself up and out of Blaine, rolling off the bed. Blaine winced at the loss of contact, but relaxed almost immediately. He was ready to drift off in a blissful sleep, even though it was only early afternoon.

When Kurt climbed back into the bed, he had a damp cloth with him. He wiped them both down quickly before tossing it into his washing basket. He settled back to cuddle Blaine, spooning him and holding him close. Blaine snuggled back and gave a soft sigh of content.

"How sore are you?"

"Not very," he said groggily. "It was more intense than I expected."

"Don't worry; it was the same for me. Blaine, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"I… I think I want to try bottoming…"

Blaine inhaled sharply and bit his lip, but didn't turn around. "Are you sure? I mean, I'd love to but you don't have to do it if you don't want to, I'm perfectly happy the way I am, the way we are-"

"You're rambling again sweetie," Kurt said, pressing a soft kiss to the birthmark on the back of Blaine's neck. "But I want to try it. I trust you."

"Okay, but we aren't doing it now. I don't even think I have the energy to blink."

"I wasn't going to suggest trying it now you moron, I'm tired too. But it's something we can do in the future, yeah?"

Blaine nodded and stifled a yawn. Kurt smiled and pulled the duvet tighter around them. Blaine's breathing changed and within a matter of seconds, he was asleep. Kurt took the opportunity to study his body; dimples in his back, the cute cluster of freckles on his right shoulder, the small birthmark on the back of his neck, his curls, free of gel, sticking up in all directions. Kurt let out a soft sigh – Blaine was perfect. And he was all his.

Kurt closed his eyes and slid an arm around Blaine's waist, finally giving into his fatigue.

And that was how Burt Hummel found them a couple of hours later; wrapped under the duvet, holding each other tightly, fast asleep.

 


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Oh my! Loved it ;). Thanks for such a great chapter...sigh, I just love our boys!!

This is so fucking perfect... Excuse my French... I couldn't find a better adjective :)

Oh my god, thank you! And I like your French, it's good