Blaine is shifting a bit awkwardly next to him, but as soon as he starts to try to get away from his boyfriend, Blaine pulls him back.

"Stay, baby. I can't help it, okay? I was worried and you wouldn't talk to me and I thought that maybe your father could help me, but Carole said-"

"You told CAROLE? What? Were Finn and Rachel there too? Have you just been talking about me behind my back to my family?"

"No, Kurt. No. I talked to Carole and your father and I didn't know what was going on at that time, so I didn't tell them anything. I only told them I was worried and that you don't eat, but I didn't know, Kurt.."

Kurt feels angry and scared, but also loved, because Blaine cares so much. He really doesn't know how he should feel about it. He just hopes his father doesn't know what he's actually doing. He doesn't want Burt to worry about him. Or Blaine, for that matter. But now his boyfriend was holding him, protecting him and he feels both better and worse. Now Blaine knows, he would make him eat. Kurt knows that for sure. He wouldn't get away with saying he ate something or that he doesn't feel well. He would have to get fat again.

Tears sting in his eyes. He worked so hard to achieve this weight and now everything was going to get ruined because of one weekend in Lima. He knows the only thing he can do to prevent things from getting even worse, is forcing Blaine to keep it a secret.

"You can't tell them, Blaine. I appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine on my own. I'm almost there. My father can't know about this. Do you understand? He has to watch his heart."

"Kurt, what you're doing is bad.."

"Like I don't know that. It's just until I'm there."

"Where?"

"My perfect weight."

"What's your perfect weight?"

"I'll see."

"If you ask me, you were at your perfect weight weeks ago. Right now, you're probably underweight."

"Barely."

"Even barely is too much."

Kurt groans, because Blaine just doesn't understand. But how could someone understand who had a nice, perfect body like Blaine? He doesn't need a diet or to eat healthy. The bastard could eat snacks all night, without gaining a pound. He grimaces at the thought of the greasy pizza Blaine likes to eat. If he would eat that, he'd gain so much, he'd be back to where he started or maybe even fatter.

"You don't understand." He says.

"You're right, babe. I don't. I don't understand how you could ruin your beautiful body and turn it into this.. unhealthy pile of bones. You're still gorgeous, but I can barely recognise you, Kurt."

Kurt flinches, because Blaine reaches up underneath his shirt to touch his chest. He forces himself to not hit his boyfriend so he can run away. His embrace is too tight and suddenly he feels as if he can't breathe.

"B-Blaine.."

"Sht.. I just want to feel your heart."

"What?"

"I'm so happy you're alive, Kurt. You're not healthy, but you're alive. And I will do everything I can to keep it that way."

"I'm not dying, Blaine."

"It's a slow suicide, Kurt."

"I'm fine."

"Stop lying!"

Kurt stares at Blaine, who is suddenly trembling with anger, his entire body tense. He barely sees his boyfriend angry, especially this angry. So he tried to calm him down, snuggling a bit closer and rubbing Blaine's back.

"Blaine, babe, calm down."

"No, Kurt. I'm not going to calm down."

Kurt's eyes widen with fear when Blaine actually shifts away from him.

"Blaine, don't leave-"

"You've been lying to me, Kurt. For weeks. Does that mean you're fine? Does that mean it's not bad? I don't think so. I think it proves how fucked up you are!"

He feels tears stinging in his eyes. Even though Blaine is right, he doesn't want to admit that. Also, Blaine shouldn't be yelling at him. He lied for Blaine. This was exactly what he thought would happen and now Blaine was going to leave him. But that wasn't fair, because he is getting perfect for Blaine and the boy didn't see that. He is doing this so Blaine won't leave him and now he's leaving anyway. Kurt doesn't understand.

"I love you and you're destroying yourself! Why would you do that to me, Kurt! You don't think we've been through enough already?"

"Blaine, I just-"

"You're so selfish, Kurt."

Kurt blinks. "W-What?"

"Selfish. For hurting me like this."

It hurts. It hurts so much. But Kurt also feels angry. Blaine had no right to talk. He already is perfect. Kurt is ugly and disgusting. And now Blaine was angry, while he doesn't know what it's like. So he actually slaps Blaine this time and when the boy brings his hand up to his cheek in surprise and confusion, Kurt rolls away and gets out of the bed.

"You have nofucking clue, Blaine. You don't know how I feel."

"Kurt, come back, right now!"

But Kurt races back to the bathroom and locks the door. He can't look at Blaine anymore. Stupid, perfect bastard. He doesn't understand at all. Blaine isn't chubby - he's muscled and tanned and beautiful. Kurt is not. Kurt is a pale, chubby, disgusting gay kid, who talks like a girl, half dresses like one and can't stay away from food, even though he should.

So he pulls up his sleeve, rips off the bandage that Blaine just applied with so much love and worry in his eyes and digs up the case in his bag. His sight is blurred with tears and loud sobs are almost choking him, but he has one goal.

"Kurt! KURT! Open the fucking door!"

He ignores it, the case in his hands now. He opens it and takes a cold razor between his fingers.

Cut.

"KURT, IF YOU DON'T UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, I'M GETTING BURT!"

'You do that, Blaine. It'll be too late by then. You can't save me. Look how selfish I am now.' Cut. Cut. Cut.

"Kurt! Fuck, I love you!"

There's a sound at the lock of the door and Kurt freezes in his actions. What is Blaine doing? He stares at his wrist, tears streaming down. He doesn't really want to die, but he wouldn't survive Blaine leaving him, after he tried so hard to be perfect for him. So he presses the metal against a vein and-

BANG! With a loud crash, the door flies open and within a few seconds, Kurt is on the floor, Blaine on top of him. He drops the razor in surprise and Blaine grabs it and throws it in the toilet, instantly flushing. Before Kurt can understand what's happening, Blaine has him pulled up in his arms. It takes a while before he realises he's shaking because Blaine is shaking.

"Kurt, oh God. What the hell, babe.. Oh my God.."

Blaine is crying and Kurt can only stare at him in shock, until Blaine pulls him against his body and his scent is all around Kurt. He shivers and closes his eyes, while Blaine is sobbing almost uncontrollably, holding him tightly.

"Blaine..?"

"Don't ever do that again. You scared the shit out of me, Kurt. Oh God. What were you thinking? Why would you leave me like that?"

"I'm selfish, right?"

"Kurt, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just.. It's so much to understand and I don't think I can, it's so much. Just.. Don't do that, Kurt. Don't try to leave me."

Now Kurt starts to cry too and he's mumbling incoherent words, with sometimes an 'I'm sorry', 'Blaine' or 'I love you' in between. He's so terribly confused, but he missed Blaine's arms around him. So he clings to the younger boy until he's calmed down a bit.

"How- how did you get in?"

Blaine smiles weakly. Kurt thinks he's also blushing a bit.

"I used to break open the lock on the cookie jar when I was younger. Drove my mother insane."

Kurt chuckles softly, because it's so Blaine and who thought Blaine's craving for cookies would ever save his life?

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"I really love you. I didn't lie when I said I would fix you. Don't give up on me or yourself, babe. I'm so sorry. It just got too much and I know there's no excuse that can change what I said, but it just makes me so angry that you don't know how beautiful and perfect you are. You've always been perfect, Kurt. Please, promise me you'll never do this again.."

Kurt remains silent, because he isn't sure if he can promise that. The idea had crossed his mind several times the last few weeks and just now he was barely thinking. He's scared he will lose it one day and he doesn't want to break a promise to Blaine.

"I don't know if I can, Blaine."

"Well, at least you're honest.."

"I'm sorry."

Blaine shakes his head and crushes Kurt's lips. For the first time in months, it's not a simple kiss. It's passionate, desperate, breathtaking. They're making out like they used to and Kurt feels his heart flutter in his chest, because he missed this so much. He missed Blaine's arms around him and his lips and, God, his tongue..

There's a cough and Kurt pulls away, while quickly pulling down his sleeve, grateful that the razor is no where in sight.

"Dad.."