As Blaine runs back through the hallway, several thoughts go through his head. I hit Kurt. I hope Evan is okay. I hit my Kurt. I have to find Emily. I hit my boyfriend. What's happening to me?

He feels dizzy, but only comes to a halt when he reaches the desk, slightly out of breath and swaying on his legs as a result of the confusion, guilt and exhaustion that rushes through his body. Emily looks up and frowns at the sight of him.

"Blaine? What's wrong? Is Kurt okay?"

"P-Please, come. Evan.. He's- We came back and we heard- heard a thud and he's in the bathroom, but Kurt told me to get you and- please.." He chokes out, his body aching, his head hurting from stress and too many emotions and thoughts to progress.

Emily is instantly on her feet and runs ahead of Blaine, who feels like he's about to fall, but forces himself to walk after her, as fast as he can. He doesn't risk running, though.

When he enters the room again, Kurt is already talking to Emily. Blaine quietly joins them in the small space of the bathroom.

"- don't know what happened, but he won't wake up. He was unconscious when I walked in."

Blaine now sees Evan for the first time, sprawled out on the floor. Kurt is sitting next to him, on his knees, and has Evan's head on his lap. The space smells like vomit and Blaine can feel his stomach turn, his heart feeling cold as reality hits him hard. This is part of Kurt's world. Their world. Forcing out food and over-exercising, passing out and starving yourself.

Maybe it's because he's been feeling like he's living a bad dream, so he kept pretending it all wasn't really happening. Maybe he should have been less selfish and tried harder to understand Kurt's illness. But until now, Blaine hasn't realized for a full hundred percent that Kurt's condition is really an illness and that the people here are like him. There were a lot of them and Kurt isn't even the thinnest, he notices, as he looks at Evan.

Blaine feels sick and he leans against the doorpost with his eyes closed, taking a deep breath. He doesn't understand and it's too much, but he can't run away, because Kurt needs him.

"Blaine?"

He looks up and meets Kurt's bright eyes, which are filled with worry. Blaine knows it's mainly because of Evan, though.

"I'm just tired, don't worry."

Kurt nods and gives him a weak smile. Then he turns his attention back to the pale, thin boy in his arms. Emily is checking his pulse and breathing. Blaine feels quite useless and clears his throat.

"Is there anything I can.. do..?" He asks, feeling nervous and stupid.

Kurt looks up at him again and then looks at Emily, who gives him a small nod. "I'll take him to the doctor, you just.. unpack, or something." She tells him.

A soft groan sounds from Kurt's lap and Evan opens his eyes, looking up, seeming confused and disorientated. "Kurt?"

Kurt's attention is instantly back to Evan and Blaine feels terribly annoying and unnecessary. So he turns around and walks back into the room, leaving the three alone. He sits himself down on Kurt's bed and buries his face in his hands, tugging on his curls with his fingers. He wants to talk to Kurt, alone, and it annoys him that everything just seems to work against them once again. No, he needs to talk to Kurt. He feels terrible about what happened in the morning and he has to apologize. He won't be able to live with himself if he leaves Kurt at this place, without apologizing for his behavior.

He doesn't know what made him snap and basically black out. He doesn't remember his exact thoughts before he hit Kurt. Probably because there were none. His mind went blank and he isn't sure whether he was even conscious or not.

He never hit Kurt. Never. Why would he? Kurt was perfect. He was kind, gorgeous, everything. Blaine had no damn right to hurt him. In any way. And now he did and he wants to tear himself to pieces, throw himself off of a building, pull out all his curls, scream until his voice dies. Most of all, he wants to turn back time and be nice to Kurt, gently get him to eat something, instead of terrifying him and hitting him. It was unacceptable and terrible and Blaine isn't sure how he will ever make this up to Kurt or if he will ever forgive himself.

Yes, Blaine had a lot of anger inside of him, mostly directed to situations he couldn't control. He felt useless and confused. Sometimes he just hated life itself, because it kept throwing drama at him and he doesn't know how to handle it. He had always tried to focus on moving on, rather than looking at the past. He couldn't fix things that happened and he shouldn't play them over and over in his mind, trying to figure out what he did wrong. But now he could slowly feel his strength fading, being replaced by frustration and an emptiness he didn't know how to fill.

It was scary to lose control like that. Blaine didn't get aggressive often, he mainly tried to keep it in. But that meant terrible outbursts when he was no longer able to take it. Still, he had never gotten physical with anyone. He used boxing as a way to get rid of his anger. He doesn't understand how he could hit Kurt. He knows it's Kurt's disease that makes him act like this and he had been a complete, heartless asshole. He doesn't deserve Kurt, he's certain of that. And Kurt apologized to him first, as if he had done something wrong, while he was working so hard to get better and all Blaine had done was relapse and be pathetic.

The worst part was probably that he wasn't able to find himself back until Kurt climbed into his lap and made him feel again. He doesn't know why he shut down like that. Maybe it was from exhaustion, maybe he was too caught up in his emotions, so they all blurred out and made him feel nothing. It was scary and angered him more, though the anger was directed at himself this time, not at Kurt.

His thoughts get interrupted, as the bathroom door opens and Emily appears. She's supporting Evan, who still looks a bit pale, but seems to be strong enough to be able to stand on his own legs. Ironically enough, Blaine isn't sure if he is. Emily gives him a small nod and takes Evan with her, probably to a nurse or whatever. There's the sound of a toilet flushing and Kurt appears back into the room, just when the other two people have left.

Blaine looks at Kurt, his heart aching as he takes in the thin figure, pale skin, worry combined with hurt on Kurt's face. He wants to get up and pull his boyfriend into the safety of his arms, but his body won't cooperate. All he can do is stare at the angelic features, the miracle that is his Kurt.

Luckily, Kurt walks over to him and sits down next to him on the bed. Blaine is suddenly staring down at his hands, that are in his lap. He feels so confused and guilty and how is he ever going to be able to show just how fucking sorry he is?

"Will he be okay?" The words sound strange to his ears, probably because his voice is just completely off. He sounds like he's a million miles away from his body.

"Yeah, he.. he had a relapse while I was gone. But he'll be fine. They're just going to run some tests and talk to him." Kurt replies, his voice small. He sounds tired – broken.

"That's.. good to hear." Blaine says, not sure how to start telling Kurt what is on his mind. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Kurt, about this morning–"

"It's fine, Blaine."

"No, Kurt. No. It's not. It's far from fine!" He opens his eyes and forces Kurt to look at him, even though his own vision is blurred with tears of frustration, hurt and guilt. "Baby, I can't even.. begin to tell you how sorry I am. I don't know what h-happened to me, I just need you to know that I will never, ever do that again. I swear. I had noright to hit you. I'm a complete failure of a boyfriend. I love you s-so much, Kurt. You're sick and I shouldn't have yelled at you. The things I said.. Kurt, you're not pathetic. You've been through so much and I'm an asshole. I'm so, so sorry. You mean the world to me, I'd do anything to turn back time. You have all the right to hate me, I don't even deserve you. I only want you to get better, okay? Please, I'm so sorry, baby. I love you so fucking much, Kurt Hummel."

He hears the sob, before he notices the tears sliding down Kurt's cheeks and in an impulse he crashes their lips together, his fingers grabbing Kurt's chest nut hair and pulling him closer, his other arm wrapped around the boy's waist. Kurt whimpers softly and clutches his shirt. When he pulls away, Kurt's lips are swollen and a dark pink. Blaine can't help but to stare at them, before blinking himself back into reality. He sighs and presses their foreheads together, his eyes locking with glasz ones.

"Blaine.." Kurt softly breathes against his lips.

Blaine presses a short kiss against his lips to shut him up. "No, shush you.. I know you're going to tell me it's okay and it's your fault, but it's not. It's not okay and it's not your fault."

Kurt closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them again, Blaine swears he can see right into the boy's soul – the emotions are so raw and open. "Kurt?" He asks softly.

"I love you." Kurt whispers against his lips. He gets up and sits down onto Blaine's lap again, only this time he slowly pushes Blaine down onto the bed, lying down on his chest, straddling his waist. Blaine looks up into Kurt's eyes, his heart pounding loudly in his chest.

"Love you too." He replies, ignoring the tears that are rolling down the sides of his face. Kurt doesn't though, because he leans in and kisses them away with a little help from his tongue. Blaine shivers and wraps his arms around Kurt's neck, holding him close. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so, so sorry. That was unforgivable."

"I'll let you make up for it." Kurt replies, a hint of a smile in his voice, but Blaine can't see his face, because it's buried in the crook of his neck. Blaine closes his eyes and breathes in Kurt's scent, his fingers playing with the soft strands of Kurt's hair.

"Marry me.."

Kurt instantly sits up again and stares down at him, his eyes filled with confusion. "What?"

"Marry me, Kurt. I understand if I scared you away, so, just.. s-say no if you don't want it, but.. I need to show you how much you mean to me. Please, marry me, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel."

"Do you happen to have a ring too?"

"What? No.. Why?"

"Because you sound so certain, it's like you planned this."

"I didn't, actually. I'm sorry.. I'll have to retry, as soon as I find you the best ring in the world."

"Second best, Blaine."

"Why?"

"It's an engagement ring, right? The best won't be on my finger, until we're actually married."

"I love you."

"Is that you agreeing with me?"

"Always, Kurt. Always."

"I love you too."