When Kurt Hummel was eight years old, his mother died.

No. She didn't die. She was murdered. Slaughtered by the people she trusted, by her friends. You could never trust a hero. They would always turn around a stab you in the back.

When Kurt Hummel was eight years old, he lost his faith in heroes, especially of the super variety.

That's when it became his personal mission to prove just how useless, how terrible, how idiotic the people entrusted with the protection of Lima City were.

Kurt Hummel had become a villain, and a supervillain at that.

Over the years the name Porcelain had grown in responses from the first "Who?" to the sound of bystanders shrieking if a victim stuttered the title. All in all, he considered it a feat in itself to have gained such public recognition in only a short amount of active duty.

In fact, the only person who referred to him as Kurt was his father (who knew nothing of his son's activities and couldn't even leave his hospital bed anymore). Once Burt Hummel inevitably passed away due to heart failure, Kurt Hummel would cease to exist beyond his evil alias. It didn't bother him... not really...

Anyway, when you're the most feared criminal in the whole of Lima City and the surrounding suburbs, you don't have much time to be your average, everyday counterpart. There's business to be done, big-shot companies to be infiltrated and robbed, superheroes to fight, and all that jazz. If you wanted to rid the city of its pompous overlords, you had to focus on that.

Kurt hadn't even had his first kiss. That's how dedicated he was to the cause.

He'd suffered through school, through torment because of his sexual preferences (which he wouldn't act on anyway) and because of his voice, with the knowledge that one day all of the people who put him down would be on their knees at his feet. He would finally reveal the sinister nature of the "good guys" in Lima City and they would beg him for forgiveness, beg for his mercy, beg him to lead them in their new world. He'd graduated knowing that it would be the last time he'd have to waste his days in the hell-hole of McKinley High, and that his days would then be better spent carrying out the plans he'd been perfecting for years.

His first heist had gone so smoothly that it hadn't been solved for eight months, when he had purposefully bragged about it to a hostage so that the police would stop floundering for clues. It was harder to track him down simply because he never stole anything physical and he was perhaps the most careful person on the planet. He took secrets and revealed them to the public when it was the opportune moment, never leaving even a digital trace because all it took was a glace and he would remember anything his eyes had taken in. He messed with accounts so that private financial dealings would be obvious to the press. He held the scum of the city hostage and then set them free before anyone with even the slightest chance of catching him was within a mile radius. He threatened mayor after mayor until they quit (the longest time in office since Porcelain took to the streets was two weeks). He sent the police on wild goose chases and forced the weaker superheroes to go into hiding.

He was unstoppable in the sense that no one had stopped him, not that no one could. That's what the law enforcement tried to stress, anyway.

When The Warbler (what kind of pretentious jerk calls himself The-anything with a capital T?) showed up in Lima City unannounced in the middle of July, things didn't even go downhill at first.

The Warbler was the poster boy for all things good and pure (all things corruptible and wrong) and he didn't address the most obvious problem in the city for almost a year after his entrance in the small group of super-do-gooders in Lima City. He carefully built up his public image- rescuing cats, reading to children, helping old ladies cross the street, the whole shebang- until everyone loved him. Girls wanted to date him, guys wanted to be him, and there wasn't any doubt of his status as their new hero. He looked like a kid on Halloween, dressed by his mother in red and blue spandex with a little yellow bowtie around his neck and a long scarlet cape that billowed out behind him as he flew over the city skyline.

(At one point in his life, Kurt Hummel might have developed a crush on The Warbler, before superheroes just like him killed his mother before his eyes. Porcelain, however, considered him to be a small blip on the radar that might prove to be more of a challenge than those before him, but not a threat by any means.)

Sometime shortly after Kurt Hummel's twentieth birthday, The Warbler finally decided to add himself to the long list of people trying to defeat Porcelain once and for all. It was pathetic at best.

The first time The Warbler actually made it to one of Porcelain's schemes, he was just in time to catch a glimpse of a black boot pulling through the back door before it was over and the villain was gone.

The next couple instances were no better for the side of "goodness", but Porcelain was quickly growing tired of his new foe's inability to even show up on time. If he couldn't even get in a decent conversation with the hero, he wouldn't be able to decide just how to convince him to give up his saving ways and never return to Lima City. So he resolved to let himself be "caught".

Holding two employees (an old man who'd been working at the same place for thirty years and a teenage girl who was on her first day of the job) hostage a the most expensive jewelry store around, which he knew was charging three times the price to fund the owner's alcohol addiction, was the perfect opportunity. There wasn't much he could do in the store itself beyond sending a warning to his target, but he needed to be obvious. Robbing a jewelry store was basically the villain stereotype, and that's what he was going for.

"Hold it right there, Porcelain!"

He turned around dramatically to face the very person he was expecting. The Warbler was every famous superhero ideal combined into one, compact man. He even put his hands on his hips as he glared at Porcelain from the doorway. Porcelain had to contain his chuckle.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't The Warbler. What's a little birdy like yourself doing in Lima City?" His voice held all the snarkiness he'd had all his life, backed by the intense hatred he felt for the man in his presence.

"Let them go and turn yourself in!"

"Why would I do that?"

The Warbler seemed flustered for a second at his simple question, his mouth opening and closing as he thought of a response.

"Because- because it's the right thing to do."

"I'm a villain, honey. I don't do the right thing. I never have."

"Then I'll be forced to put you in jail myself."

"I've been doing whatever I want for years, Warbler. What makes you think you're any better that anyone else who's tried to stop me?"

The Warbler launched himself across the room, only to smash into an invisible wall five feet from Porcelain's body. It had been there the whole time, but the force field was undetectable to the naked eye. It was also virtually indestructible, just like The Warbler himself. He may have been a superhero with super strength, flight, and a charming personality, but Porcelain had been in the business of avoiding superheroes long enough to perfect a simple force field.

"You can have them, birdie," Porcelain said with a cocky smirk. "They were in the way, but I'm just sending a message. I'll see you around...or maybe I won't." And then he was gone, sliding out of an open window and out of sight.

"How're you doing, kiddo? You haven't been around in weeks."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I had a big project at work."

"It's alright; I'm just messing with you." Burt smiled warmly at his son, turning down the volume of the football game he was watching.

"I talked to Carole. She said that you've been trying to convince her to go off your diet. You have to be careful, Dad. Your heart..."

"Oh, there's nothing to worry about. I'm a grown man. I can make my own decisions."

"You've been in the hospital for years! You can't just- you have to- I can't lose you." Kurt felt tears threaten to fall from his stormy gray eyes, but he held them back.

"Kid, I'm okay. Carole's taking good care of me. There isn't a more qualified nurse in the world, and I'm surrounded by doctors. If anything goes wrong, I'll be taken care of in an instant."

"I worry. You're all I have left..."

Burt squeezed Kurt's shoulder and offered him the sincerest comfort in his eyes. He knew that he wouldn't be around for much longer, and he knew that Kurt would be devastated, but he had hope that his son would learn to move on and accept happiness elsewhere in life.

"So... have you found a boyfriend in the city, son?"

"Dad!"

"I'm just asking!" The older man held up his hands in surrender. "You're an adult now, it's time you let some love in your life."

"I haven't...found the right person yet, Dad."

"Well, you've got time. I know he's out there somewhere."

After spending a few hours chatting with his dad, Kurt had to admit that he needed to return to his apartment in the city. He made his way to the elevator and stepped inside next to a young man with naturally tan skin and ridiculously curly hair. The other man smiled at Kurt with sparking white teeth and asked which floor Kurt needed, to which he replied "1" and tried not to blush ridiculously.

"I'm Blaine."

"K-Kurt..."

"It's nice to meet you, Kurt. I was just visiting my grandmother; I didn't expect to see such a beautiful man on my way out." He smiled again, this time a bit more flirtatiously, but in an innocent sort of way. Like he really did think Kurt was beautiful and he was just pointing it out.

"I- uh... Thanks."

"No problem."

There was a comfortable silence while they descended, and (all to) soon, the elevator dinged and opened in the lobby of the hospital.

"Maybe I'll see you around sometime, Kurt?"

"Oh! Um... sure..."

"Until then." Blaine, being the gentleman Kurt suspected he was, kissed the other man's knuckles and grinned happily before his exit.

Kurt stood completely still until a nurse asked him if he was alright. Then he almost ran out to his car, cursing his own stupidity and somehow wishing he could see this Blaine again as quickly as possible.

"Here you are again, birdie! Getting smarter, I see." Porcelain laughed viciously, spinning himself around in the office chair of the city mayor. He was just dropping in for a visit, but his favorite little pawn in the system had quit (finally), so the office was empty for the time being.

The Warbler was not amused. "I'll tell you again, Porcelain: Turn yourself in, or I'll do it for you."

"I guess you'll just have to catch me for real one of these times!"

The superhero picked up a filing desk and threw it at the still-chuckling villain. It stopped barely a foot from the hero's hands and changed directions to smash into a wall instead.

"You'll have to try harder than that, birdie." Porcelain brushed imaginary dust off his black-and-silver suit.

"I'm tired of these games!"

"Are you?"

"Yes! You can't win! Good always defeats evil!"

"You really think I'm the bad guy here?" Porcelain hardened his face into a glare. "Oh no, birdie. That's you. Tricking the people into thinking you're going to save them, waiting until the time is perfect. Then you'll turn your back on them; you'll let them die or you'll kill them yourself! There's nothing worse in this city than a hero. Heroes are just villains in disguise, and that's the worst kind. At least I advertise my distaste for the general population. I won't betray what they already think of me."

"I'd never hurt anyone. That's not what heroes do."

"Oh really? You're here to put me in jail, to defeat me at whatever cost necessary. How did you think that was going to turn out? I won't willingly go with you. You'll have to fight me and win fair and square, and that's not going to happen unless it's over my. Dead. Body. Are you ready to kill somebody, birdie?"

"You- I have to-"

"You're not, are you? Let me save you the trouble for today. You can get over this little dilemma and maybe next time you can fulfill your sick way into the hearts of Lima City." Just like every other confrontation they'd had in the past, Porcelain disappeared before The Warbler could move.