He’s at a little chapel a few blocks away from his apartment. It’s been closed for years and so he can sit here, on Sunday morning and just think. Normally, he sits outside and watches the gorgeous garden in front of it, watches the roses and just loves how untouched everything is. But today, he went inside because it’s getting cold and the roses are covered in a thin coat of frost already.

It’s chilly in there too, since no one ever comes here and there’s obviously no heating, but at least there’s no wind here. For it being closed for such a long time, the place is still pretty well-kept and doesn’t look rundown.

Sighing a bit, Kurt leans back in his pew and rubs his hands over his face. He’s so confused and really glad he has this place to come to when he needs some time for himself. No one ever comes here which is a shame and a blessing at the same time. Sometimes, Kurt just needs a place where he can be alone with his thoughts, where nothing can distract him and the silence lulls him in.

He sits there for quite a while, just thinking about everything that has happened the other day. He hasn’t dared to call Blaine and had spent the better part of yesterday trying to keep his mind off of things, but he knows he has to face this eventually. He can’t sit in his perfect little chapel forever, even if he wishes he could.

Blaine is marrying Santana. That’s why they hired him. And then, he goes and kisses him. It’s all making a mess of Kurt’s head because why would he do that? It’s not just that he’s marrying, but that he’s marrying a girl.

Kurt’s not sure how long he has been sitting there before the cold starts to creep through his jacket and gives him goose bumps. Shivering slightly, he finally gets up and crosses his arms in front of his chest as he exits the chapel. He doesn’t hurry on his way home. Since he’s always very eager to get his work done before the weekend starts, he doesn’t have anything to do anyways and he knows, being in his apartment where Blaine’s jacket is hung over the couch, he’s just going to start worrying again.

When he enters his apartment building, he gives the doorman a friendly smile and nods at him before getting into the elevator.

When he arrives on his floor, he is so busy with unbuttoning his coat that he doesn’t notice until he’s halfway down the hallway. Lifting his head to make sure he doesn’t run into anything, he catches sight of him, leaning against the wall next to his door. The second he sees him though, he pushes himself off of it and bits his lip, looking more like a school boy than a grown man. Kurt’s frozen in his spot for a few moments, simply staring and trying to decide what to do. Part of him wants to turn around and leave, doesn’t want to deal with this again. But another, louder, more obnoxious part urges him on.

So he takes a deep breath and walks closer, stopping a few meters away from him.

“Blaine. How did you…” he starts and frowns. Sure, he knows in which building he lives after he drove him home after that demonstration, but Kurt never told him which floor or apartment he lives in. And he knows for a fact that the doorman is practically mute about this and wouldn’t have told him.

“I’m a lawyer… I have my connections.” He says quietly and looks incredibly guilty, as if he thinks Kurt will flip out at him for digging around to find his address. But actually, Kurt’s sort of glad.

Nodding slowly, he pulls the key out and unlocks the door, stepping in. He waits for a second and sighs at the other man.

“Just come in.”

Blaine hesitates for a moment but finally nods and moves after him, watching as Kurt closes the door behind them.

“Right. Your coat…” Kurt mumbles as he tosses his own one aside and walks to the couch, picking up the neatly folded jacket. He hopes Blaine doesn’t notice that it smells a lot like Kurt now since he had spent the better part of Friday night curled on the couch, hugging his coat.

When he turns around to hand it over, the look on Blaine’s face makes him stop. His eyes are locked at his, his brows furrowed; he’s biting his lip and looks miserable overall. Without hesitation, Kurt puts the jacket back down and sits down on the couch, patting the spot next to him.

“Come here,” he says quietly and is surprised when Blaine doesn’t even seem to think about it before he flops down. They look at each other for a moment before Blaine groans softly and drops his head into his hands.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers, almost not audible.

“Don’t, I just – What happened that night?” Kurt asks after a while, needing to ask the question that’s been messing with his head ever since this had happened.

“I-I don’t know.” He shrugs his slumped shoulders.

“Blaine… You’re marrying Santana.” Kurt decides to carefully point out.

“Fuck, I know.” Blaine chokes out and he looks so over and done with himself that it almost breaks Kurt’s heart. “I’m such a mess.”

Kurt watches Blaine for a while, he still has his face hidden in his hands, but his shoulders are trembling slightly and he can see his breath going shakily.

“Are you crying?”

Blaine shakes his head at that, but Kurt knows. But he has no idea what to do, he’s so inexperienced with this. He knows how to calm down a bride that’s crying hysterically because she can’t find her other shoe, but he has no clue what to do with a groom who kissed his wedding planner when he is exactly that wedding planner.

So he just does what Blaine had done and what feels right in the moment. Slowly, he edges closer and wraps one arm around his back. That seems to be all Blaine had needed because a second later, Kurt finds the other man latching onto him, his nose pressing into his chest. He freezes for a moment, trying to get used to the new situation and the fact that a very attractive man is currently nuzzling his chest before he finally manages to wrap both of his arms around his shaking frame.

“Shh,” he whispers, running one of his hands up and down his back. “You’re not a mess. You’re just confused.” He says softly, trying to speak over the sobs escaping Blaine’s throat.

Blaine doesn’t say anything at that and Kurt sways slightly in his seat, just holding Blaine tight and letting him cry into his shirt. It’s heart breaking really and Kurt wishes Blaine didn’t have to go through this, that he could see his gorgeous smile again and that everything could be alright again.

“Except, I’m not.” Blaine says after his breathing has returned to a somewhat normal pace, turning his head so it’s still resting against Kurt’s chest but so he can still talk.

It takes Kurt a moment to realize what he’s referring to but when he gets it, he frowns down at the curly head right in sight and waits for an explanation.

“I-I’ve known.” Blaine adds softly.

“Known what?”

“That I’m gay.” Blaine says nonchalantly and Kurt’s eyebrows rise. He had expected for Blaine to tell him that that night had been an accident and that he had had a couple of drinks and that this wasn’t anything special. The last thing he had thought would happen was for Blaine to tell him he was gay.

But in some way, it does make sense in the bigger picture; how he had reacted to Santana trying to make him eat cake from her finger and his face when Kurt had told him what had happened at that parade.

It’s who you are and that’s all you’re supposed to be. That’s what Blaine had said and Kurt very well remembers the change in his voice there, how it had seemed like something that moved Blaine and now, he got it. Blaine wasn’t who he was supposed to be.

“But if you know, why are you marrying Santana?” he asks slowly and hears Blaine exhale deeply, his head pressing closer to his chest.

“I-I told you I’ve known Santana for years. We were close friends in High School and… When I came out to my parents…” he stops for a moment and takes a shuddering breath. Kurt’s hand instantly reaches up and strokes his hair, whishing he wasn’t wearing about three tons of hair gel. “They yelled at me and called me names and… it’s just wasn’t nice at all. Then I met Santana in New York again and we started hanging out. My parents – they were so happy. They just assumed we’re dating and they talked to me again. They said how proud they are of me and much they love me and… I liked that.” He whispers miserably. “I just- I just wanted them to love me.” He sobs out and that’s where Kurt’s heart breaks.

“Blaine.” He whispers, trying to keep his own tears at bay as he hugs him closer, nuzzling his face into his hair and kissing the top of his head. His own dad had always been so very, very accepting and had always been there for him and now here Blaine is, admitting that he’s marrying a girl just to make his parents happy. No one should pretend to be someone else just to please others. But the thought of a teenage Blaine, getting yelled at for liking boys made Kurt want to cry all over again.

He hears Blaine taking a deep breath, calming down a bit until he pulls back a little and leans against the back of the couch instead of Kurt, but keeps his red-rimmed, puffy and still gorgeous eyes on him.

“I’m really sorry though, Kurt. You’re amazing and… I didn’t mean to drag you into all of this.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Kurt whispers and reaches out to take his hand in his, squeezing. With a weak smile, Blaine squeezes back. “What are you going to do?” he asks carefully.

“I don’t know.” Blaine shrugs, closing his eyes for a moment. “I can’t- I need some time. I like Santana, I do and… I don’t want to hurt her. She may seem like a bitch, but she’s nice under all of this.” He says slowly.

“Take all the time you need.” Kurt smiles softly and leans against the couch next to him, staring out into space. He knows this must me extremely hard on Blaine and he doesn’t expect him to go and tell Santana he’s gay right now. He’s just glad he finally knows what’s going on.

“Kurt?” he hears Blaine ask and turns his head. The moment he does that, there’s a hand on his cheek. “Can I just…” he breaks off but Kurt knows. He knows that look on his face and the way he’s biting his lip gives him away too. And Kurt would be lying if he said he hadn’t dreamt about his happening again.

“Yeah,” he breathes out and watches Blaine scramble closer. Their eyes are locked at each other’s all the time and Kurt tries not to go cross-eyed when Blaine is so close but all kind of thoughts go out of the window the second their lips meet again.

It’s familiar and exciting at the same time. Blaine still feels the same though Kurt can still taste salty reminders of previous tears on his lips. The kiss starts out slow and gentle again, lips just testing the waters but this time, it turns desperate and needy rather fast. Their tongues are duelling for dominance and just licking at everything they can reach. Blaine bites down on Kurt’s bottom lip again but his time, neither of them stops. Kurt simply moans softly as Blaine swipes his tongue over his lip and tugs a bit on it.

His hands are tangled in Blaine’s hair by now, quite happy about the side-effect of freeing the curls as he runs his fingers through it. Eventually, the need for air becomes too big and they break apart gasping, sharing a breathy smile.

“Wow.” Blaine pants and Kurt simply nods as they both fall back against the couch with Kurt’s head on Blaine’s shoulder.

They’re silent for a long time, trying to catch their breath and both of them sorting out their thoughts before Blaine speaks up again.

“Kurt? Is this… cheating?” he asks very quietly and Kurt pulls his head from his shoulder to look at him.

He wishes he had an answer to this, that he could simply say yes or no but he doesn’t. He hasn’t even had a boyfriend, so how is he supposed to know? “I don’t know.” He answers truthfully.

“I feel so bad.” Blaine whispers and Kurt bites his lip which instantly makes Blaine jump.

“No, no, no. Not like that.” He rushes to explain, hands flying to Kurt’s face. “This is amazing, you are amazing. I’m just… I’m just the kind of guy who thinks cheating is the ultimate breach of trust, you know? I never thought I’d do this…”

Kurt smiled slightly and turns his head in his hand to peck his palm. “It’s okay, Blaine.” He promises, grabbing the hands on his face to hold them in his lap. “I wish I could help you somehow and make you feel better.” He admitts softly.

“You are already, just by being here.” He says with a smile. Kurt wants to point out that this was sort of his apartment so he doesn’t exactly have to thank him for being here, but he felt like this wasn’t the moment for a witty comment.

He wonders what all of this was though. He had kissed Blaine twice and he kept telling him he was amazing but what exactly did that mean? What sort of feelings are involved? Or are any feelings involved in the first place? There are so many questions still left in his head.

Kurt notices Blaine’s look at the clock behind him though and tilts his head, waiting for him to speak what’s on his mind. It was scary how well Kurt can already tell when something was up with Blaine.

“Santana’s morning shift ends soon.” He admits with a slightly pained expression on his face.

“It’s okay, you should get going then.” He smiles slightly, albeit sad that Blaine has to leave.

They walked to the door in silence, but in the doorway, Blaine turns around to face Kurt, grasping at his hand. He stares into his eyes for a moment before leaning in to place a sweet kiss on his cheek. “I’ll call you.” He promises and with a last squeeze of his hand, he makes his way down the hallway and towards the elevator.

And while Kurt slowly waves after Blaine, he knows this isn’t just the typical line a guy uses to get rid of you. Blaine is going to call. He sure has a line to Kurt’s heart already.