"I was diagnosed with HIV at the age of 16."

The change in atmosphere in the room is almost instantaneous - heads snapping towards the stage and whispered conversations halted at Blaine's announcement. It's not the HIV part but rather Blaine's age that seems to cause most shock though, and the Warblers especially are glancing at each other as if to ask Did you know about this?

"Disclosing to my parents was one of the hardest things both they and I ever had to go through," Blaine continues, trying his best to ignore the commotion, "and it placed a very heavy burden both on my relationship with my parents and on our family as a whole."

He's shaking, his old speech softly crackling in his clenched fists as he tries to get his nerves under control. He hasn't really thought it through, hasn't really thought about what to say after disclosing, but for the first time since he got up on stage the audience in front of him is listening to him, actually listening to him, and he knows he's made the right choice.

"When a teenage girl has to confess to her parents that she is pregnant, they are faced with a very difficult decision," he says, his voice gaining in strength and confidence the longer he talks. "When she has to confess she has HIV, there is no decision to be made. HIV cannot be cured, it cannot be taken away or given up for adoption. HIV stays with you for the rest of your life, and it impacts every single relationship you will ever have.

"Learning to live with HIV is hard for anyone, but it is particularly hard for young people. As you dream and fantasize about the future, suddenly the question is not 'what will my husband look like?' but rather 'will he still want to marry me once he finds out?'. It's not 'how many kids will I have?', but rather 'am I even be able to have kids?'. You don't think 'I wonder if I will still be best friends with her after high school' but 'I'm scared she won't want to be my best friend anymore when I tell her'.

"And what do you do when that cute boy asks you out? How do you explain to the school nurse that you'd prefer to tend to that scraped knee yourself? What do you do when you return from a competition with your school's show choir and you get stuck in traffic without the dinner you need to take your pills on time?"

Out of the corner of his eye Blaine can see how Jeff elbows David, their eyes and those of about half of the other Warblers widening when they hear Blaine's story behind the well-known anecdote, and he takes a deep breath.

"Next year I will be interning at HAPE, one of many organizations who work for and with HIV/AIDS patients, but one of the few who focus on young people. At HAPE, lives are changed every day. By bringing teenagers and their parents together and showing them they are not alone, we give them hope, and the confidence they need to believe that they can have a normal life, too. Just last summer an HIV positive friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful, healthy, HIV negative girl. I myself am living proof that it is possible to build up a loving long-term relationship when you're positive." He smiles at Kurt, who's turned an adorable shade of pink. "To anyone else, these are just simple stories, but to the boy or girl who's just had their world turned upside-down by the diagnosis of HIV, they are everything.

"One of HAPE's most important activities is to provide one-on-one counseling sessions, both in person and through a dedicated hotline, and part of my internship will consist of expanding this service to include an internet-based chat application, to further lower the threshold for those who need help or information. Should you be kind enough to donate tonight, this is where your money will be put to use: to help pay for servers and keeping the website up and running, and to provide training for the many volunteers who dedicate their time and energy on a regular basis to HAPE.

"But we need more. We need more than just aftercare, because even though numbers show that the rise of new HIV infections has been stopped, prevention and awareness are key if we want to achieve a decline. The young age at which many teenagers start experimenting with sex necessitates sex ed programs directed at not just high schoolers, but also middle schoolers and even primary schoolers. Special programs are needed to reach those groups that are most at risk, and are unfortunately also most likely to be overlooked by HIV interventions.

"Currently, HAPE is leading projects in over 30 states, and more than 1200 families have already benefited from the support we have to offer. With your help, we will be able to expand this number, and reach even more people. In the name of all of them, and myself, I ask you to please consider donating to this wonderful, and necessary, cause, so that we can keep doing what we do best: giving hope. I thank you for your attention, and I wish you happy holidays."

The applause thunders through the hall, louder than Blaine's ever heard it before - and that's including the time he placed sixth at Nationals with The Warblers. Still, to Blaine it sounds distant, as if he's under water, and everything seems to play out in slow motion: stepping back from the microphone, the headmaster thanking him, walking down the stairs and out on the floor to see a good number of people are actually standing, including the Dean and his wife. They're clapping -they all just keep on clapping- but Blaine hardly pays them any attention.

Because there, right next to his seat, is Kurt, beaming at him, and Blaine doesn't think as he walks up to him and wraps his arms around him.

"God what have I done?" he whispers, voice trembling though he can't seem to stop smiling. Because he knows what he's done, and what's even better: he doesn't regret it even one bit.

"You were you," Kurt tells him as he pulls back and takes Blaine's face in his hands, "you were finally, unashamedly and completely, you."

There's a thousand people in that room watching them but Blaine doesn't care, leaning in to press his lips against Kurt's long and hard, and it isn't until he hears Nick wolf whistle that he pulls away in embarrassment, burying his face in the crook of Kurt's neck.

He still can't quite believe that it actually happened, that it wasn't a dream. Most importantly though, it wasn't a nightmare either. Because Blaine did it. Even if the news had already spread, Blaine had been the one to take the decision to actually talk about it: he had been the one to come out, he had been the one to disclose in front of a room full of people, friends and strangers alike.

And they're actually applauding him for it.

Somehow the secret he'd fought so hard to keep, his biggest source of insecurity, had turned from something to be ashamed of into something that gives him authority and credibility. And more than that, Blaine realizes now: speaking up about his HIV has given him responsibility.

There's a shiver running down his spine at the realization. Because there's no way back now, he knows, there's no way he'll ever be able to hide his status again. But then there's a soft press of lips against his temple, and a whisper in his ear.

I have never been more proud of you.

And for the first time in a long time, Blaine feels like someone to be proud of.

.

The rest of the evening passes in a daze for Blaine. Apart from the 30 seconds he manages to escape for a quick toilet break he's constantly either talking to someone, or listening to them, and it's exhausting and exhilarating both at once. At times it's also infuriating, however, because even though the response is overwhelmingly positive, Blaine can't shake the feeling of suspicious eyes on his back, of shocked whispers just out of earshot. But over the course of the evening he loses count of the number of people who ask for contact details to either start up a new project in their neighborhood or volunteer at an existing one, and when the Dean slips him a $5000 cheque he silently promises himself he won't let a few whispers and stares make him regret his decision.

The only moment he almost breaks his promise comes the first time someone asks Kurt whether he's positive too. Kurt must feel him stiffen up because he immediately tightens his hold around Blaine's waist, pulling him back just a little, and before Blaine even has the chance to say or do anything Kurt calmly explains that no, he's not positive, and no, he's not afraid he's ever going to be. He actually manages to make a little joke about it, and Blaine places his hand on Kurt's in gratitude, squeezing softly as he plasters a smile on his own face.

He's going to have to get used to this, he realizes, if he's going to continue to speak up and share his story. He's going to have to get used to people asking questions about him and Kurt, questioning and probably judging the sanity of their decision to be together, and he's going to have to learn to just... let it go. It's a price he's willing to pay, he thinks, but it's not one he wants Kurt to pay.

The hard and inevitable truth is of course that Kurt still pays it. But, even Blaine has to admit, he pays it the Kurt Hummel way: with style and grace. Because he doesn't leave Blaine's side once, answering questions and encouraging donations and generally networking with an ease and grace even the First Lady would be jealous of, and Blaine knows there's no one else he'd rather be doing this with.

After all, there's no one else he would have been able to do it without.

-o0o-

"Kurt? Kurt, wake up, honey, we're here."

Blaine's voice reaches Kurt through the haze of his sleep-meddled brain, and he squeezes his eyes shut.

"Don't call me honey," he yawns, nuzzling back against the headrest, cuddling in a little closer to protect himself from the cold washing over him through the open car door.

"Seriously? Not 'let me sleep' or 'I don't wanna get out' but 'don't call me honey'?"

"Your mom calls you honey," Kurt mumbles, still refusing to open his eyes. "I don't want to think about your mom when you call me pet names."

"All right..." Blaine drawls, and Kurt opens a warning eye, already sensing by the tone of Blaine's voice that whatever Blaine is going to say next is going to annoy him. Obviously he has to work on his one-eyed glare, though, because... "cupcake."

"Blaaaaaaaine!"

But Blaine just laughs, pressing a kiss against Kurt's lips before he cups Kurt's face, gently caressing his cheek.

"Come on," he smiles, "it's not that I want you out of my car so badly but your dad seems to be waiting up for you so you better get inside before he gets worried."

"My d- Blaine!" Kurt jerks up, peering over Blaine's shoulder to see his house, dark save for the living room window where the light peeks around the curtains, a sure sign that somebody's still awake. "Blaine, you were supposed to drive us back to your house - my car is still there!"

"I know!" Blaine squeaks, suddenly looking contrite. "But you fell asleep like five minutes after we left Dalton and you looked so peaceful and I didn't want you to have to drive another hour when you were so tired so I just thought..."

"... you'd make a one hour detour to Lima and drop me off." Kurt shakes his head worriedly. "Blaine, you need your sleep too - you've only just had that cold and y-"

"I'm fine," Blaine interrupts him patiently, "I've only used one handkerchief today and I barely even cough anymore. And besides, I'm so high on adrenaline I doubt I could sleep even if I wanted to."

He shoots Kurt a shy smile, and Kurt lets himself lean back against the side of the car, unable to keep his own smile from his face as he looks Blaine over for what must be the hundredth time that night. He can't help it - Blaine looks different tonight, has looked different ever since he crumbled up his speech.

"Have I told you yet how proud I am of you?"

"Possibly," Blaine says, pretending to think. "Probably."

"That's because I am. Incredibly... amazingly... endlessly... proud." Kurt emphasizes each word with a kiss and then smiles down at Blaine, brushing away a stray curl. "And I'm sure your parents are going to feel the same way."

Blaine groans at the reference, letting his head fall against Kurt's shoulder.

"I still can't believe you taped it. Giving that camera to Nick was a dick move, just so you know."

"I know," Kurt admits, though he can't contain a chuckle. "But I promised your dad I'd get it on film for him and I already lied to your mom five minutes after meeting her, I wasn't going to break any more promises."

"You broke your promise to me, though," Blaine pouts, but Kurt shakes his head.

"Technically, I promised you I wouldn't film it," he teases, pointing at himself. "And I didn't."

It earns him a glare, but just as Kurt wants to kiss it away, Blaine stiffens in his arms and steps back from him.

"Mister Hummel."

It's only the second time Kurt has ever heard Blaine call his dad 'Mr. Hummel', the first time having been over four years ago when they had first met, but when Kurt turns around on his heels he can see why: his dad is standing in the doorway, shoulders broad and chin high, his profile outlined by the light in the hall while his face is cast in shadow, and he's looking more unwelcoming than Kurt has ever seen him.

"Blaine," his dad acknowledges coldly before turning to Kurt. "Kurt, you better come inside before you catch a cold. I'm sure Blaine's parents will want him home at a decent hour."

He turns around without another word or even so much as a glance at either of them, and Kurt spins around furiously.

"Did he just-"

"Kurt..."

"He just sent you home, Blaine! Like we're a couple of teenagers who missed curfew or something! He didn't even bother to say a decent 'hi'!"

"Kurt, please..."

"Does he even know what you did tonight? Does he even realize how disrespectful he's being, how hard you've worked and-"

"Kurt, calm down!" Blaine has grabbed Kurt by the shoulders, pushing him down. "Please, you're not helping anyone with this."

"But he-"

"... is just being an overprotective parent," Blaine finishes his sentence. "He's just trying to do what he thinks is best for you."

For a few seconds they just stare at each other, but then Kurt sighs, shaking his head.

"How are you so calm about this? How are you not frustrated, or- or angry, or... something?"

Blaine huffs humorlessly.

"Look, Kurt... I'm hardly in a position to start arguing with your dad, am I?" He rubs his forehead, glancing at Kurt's house where the front door is still slightly ajar, waiting for Kurt. "He doesn't trust me, and I can't even blame him, so the only way I have of convincing him that I am a good guy, and that I'm going to care for you the way you deserve, is by showing him. And getting into an argument each time I might feel pushed into defense is not going to show him anything, except that he's right." He takes another breath, licking his lips. "And technically, he didn't do anything wrong. He said hi to me, however short, then asked you to come in. That's all that happened, okay?"

"It's not what he did, Blaine, it's the way he did it," Kurt tries to protest, but Blaine shakes his head.

"We had a good night, Kurt. Don't let this ruin it. And don't get into an argument with him over this - it's not worth it."

"But-"

"It's not worth it, Kurt," Blaine reiterates. "Not over this, not tonight. You're tired, he's no doubt tired, you're both just going to end up saying things you don't mean."

Kurt sighs, biting his lip. He knows in the back of his mind Blaine is right, but it feels wrong. Especially now, after the great night they've had, after everything Blaine has accomplished, it feels wrong to let his dad treat Blaine the way he just had.

"All right," he finally nods. "I'll wait till tomorrow to bring it up."

"Promise?" Blaine insists, clearly not too happy with Kurt's little addendum but prepared to take it, and Kurt nods.

"Promise."

But as they say their goodbyes, and Kurt waves one final time at Blaine's car when it disappears around the corner, the anger that's been building up inside Kurt since his dad had come out on the porch only grows. Because it's not fair, how his dad doesn't even want to give Blaine a chance, how he apparently doesn't trust Kurt enough to make his own choices, and Kurt doesn't even notice his steps getting angrier and more determined the closer he gets to the front door.

"What the hell was that about!"

He slams the door, not even caring if it wakes up the whole house, or even the whole neighborhood. They can know.

"Do you have any idea what you just did, talking to him like that, telling him-"

"-his parents will get worried if he's home to late?" Kurt's dad doesn't even bother to look up from where he's sitting in the couch, turning another page of his newspaper. "Yeah, I'm sure that'll traumatize the kid for the rest of his life. Not like, say, finding out your boyfriend is too much of a coward to give you a little warning about his incurable STD."

"STI," Kurt corrects automatically before mentally slapping himself in the face - semantics are hardly the point right now. "And will you just get over it already? Blaine and I talked about it, we worked through it, we're fine. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Maybe because nobody talked to me?" his dad shoots back, finally putting away the paper. "Had to find out from your brother you two were getting it on behind my back."

"We're not- god, we weren't... getting it on!"

Kurt feels himself go beet red, and it's only partly because something has definitely been got on between him and Blaine. But his dad doesn't need to know that.

"Doesn't matter what you were doing, Kurt, you were lying to me and that's not how I raised you. Did he put you up to this?"

"Whát?"

"Don't tell your dad, he doesn't need to know?"

"No!"

"He'll kill me if he thinks I've laid another finger on you and you don't want that to happen, do you?"

"Dad!"

"Because he's right, you know. I will do something to him if he-"

"DAD!" Kurt has to fight the urge to put his hands over his ears. His dad still reproaching Blaine what had happened back in the spring was one thing. Accusing Blaine of things he hadn't done, and never would do, on the other hand...

"Stop it, all right! Just... stop it... That's not how it went - at all. Blaine loves me, and he would never ask that from me, or from anyone else. We talk about things now. In fact, Blaine's started talking to other people now too - just tonight, dad, you should have seen him: he had to give this presentation and he really spoke up for himself, and he disclosed and he told people and raised over a hundred grand for HIV patients! A hundred grand, dad, and that's just the money that actually came in tonight, there were lots of people who promised to give more and- what?"

Kurt's gotten all caught up in his little speech, but the enthusiasm brought on by the memory of what had happened that nigh falters when he looks at his dad, huffing and rolling his eyes and clearly not the least bit impressed with Blaine's accomplishment.

"Nothing," he says cynically. "It's just that last year Blaine couldn't be bothered to tell his big secret to you, who he supposedly loves so much, but now that it's about money apparently he can tell the whole school."

The implied accusation hits Kurt like a ton of bricks.

"Dad! It wasn't about the money! Listen-"

"No, Kurt!" his dad bellows. "This time you listen! And really listen. You don't see it, Kurt, you don't see it because you're in love and you're seeing what you want to see and not what is actually there. Because you keep brushing it away, but the fact is that Blaine lied to you- no wait, let me finish here. What is it they say, about how victims will always return to their abusers? Blaine abused your trust, Kurt, and how do you know he won't do it again?"

"Because he loves me, dad!" Kurt exasperates. "He'd never do anything to hurt me - never. Why can't you just accept that? Why can't you just trust me and believe me when I say he's changed?"

"Because I worry about you!"

"But I don't want you to!"

Kurt's word are an echo of Blaine's during their first big fight all those months back, and it's only now that Kurt starts understanding exactly what Blaine had meant that day.

"I don't want you to worry about me, I don't need you to worry about me. I need you to let me make my own choices and I need you to support me when I do."

But his dad just shakes his head.

"You just wait, kid," he says darkly, "you just wait until you have a son or daughter of your own and they call you one fine spring morning from hospital; until some punk decides that your kid, your flesh and blood, doesn't matter enough to them to bother with protection or even simple honesty. Just wait, until you've spent three months worrying whether your kid will live or die, and then when you've survived that, you can come and tell me all you want about how I should trust the man who did that to you."

Blaine's told him his dad is just worried about him. Kurt knows his dad is worried. But to hear him say it, unable to hide his anxiety, to see him spit out the words the way he does, with a sense of desperation as if he's not sure Kurt will even want to listen to him - it makes Kurt realize he doesn't know half of just how much this has been affecting his dad. And just as Blaine had never been able to convince Kurt he didn't need taking care of, Kurt will never be able to convince his dad he doesn't need to worry.

It doesn't mean he isn't going to try.

"Dad... dad - look at me: I'm fine. I was never going to die, and besides I'm fine now. And I understand that you're worried, and that you want to look out for me, but I'm ok. And so is Blaine. We're both ok. Actually, we're more than just ok - we're great, and we're great because we have each other. I love him, dad, I love him so much and-"

"Don't you think I know that?"

Kurt cuts himself off, astonished, but his dad is not finished yet.

"Look, Kurt, I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid, and I don't have to see you every day to know that you're happy, happier maybe than you've ever been. I can hear it in your voice when we call, in the way you laugh and talk. And I know what, or rather who, is responsible for that. But don't you see that's what's worrying me the most? Because even if he's changed, as you say he is, even if you manage to keep safe... he's not gonna stay, Kurt. He can't, no matter what he says. That disease he has, it's killing him, it's going to take him away from you and then where will you be? Heartbroken and alone, your life built around someone who's no longer there. I know what it's like to lose someone, Kurt, I know how much it hurts. And I don't want you to have to go through that."

The words hurt, cutting deep into Kurt's heart, but that's not the worst part. The worst part is that Kurt doesn't know how to defend himself against them.

"That's not how it is," he tries feebly, not sure who he's trying to convince. "That's not how it's gonna be. People with HIV have close to normal life spans these days, and Blaine's got good doctors, and good medications, the strain he has isn't multi-resistant, ... He's got the odds in his favor and he's going to be fine."

"But what if he's not?" his dad objects. "This is exactly what I mean, Kurt - you're in love and you don't see the reality of things. What if something goes wrong anyway?"

"Then I'll be there for him."

It's hard to remain optimistic when his dad bombards him with so much pessimism, hard to believe that he and Blaine will indeed be fine when their whole safety net is being questioned the way it is. But even if he doesn't know how, even if he can't even convince himself that everything will be fine, Kurt finds that when push comes to shove there's not a shred of doubt in his mind. Because he's chosen Blaine, and no matter what happens, he will always choose Blaine.

He lifts his chin, looking at his dad defiantly.

"I'll be there for him. Whatever happens I'll be there and I'll stay with him every second of every step for as long as I can and as long as he'll let me. Just like you did for mom."

But his dad just shakes his head sadly.

"It's hardly the same thing, Kurt."

"Why? Because she didn't choose to get cancer? Because she only got it after you'd been married for ten years?" Kurt moves to the couch opposite his dad, taking his dad's hands in his own. "What if you'd know beforehand, dad? What if someone had told you, when you started dating mom, that you'd lose her. Would you have done things differently? Would you have left her?"

His dad doesn't reply, biting his lip to hold back the tears that are making his eyes glisten, and Kurt scoots a little closer.

"I know I could lose Blaine. He could run under a car, or get lung cancer, or choke on a chicken bone. He could cheat on me and leave me. Or yeah, he could get AIDS. And I know that despite how careful we're being there's a chance I'll end up HIV positive as well. I don't think any of these things is gonna happen, but really the point is that I can't allow myself thinking they might. Because if I'm gonna worry about all the things that could go wrong, what kind of life will I have? What kind of life will we have? So I have to believe we're going to make it, dad. I just have to."

It's almost liberating to be able to admit it to his dad, that he puts up a front sometimes, that deep down sometimes he's still scared. And he's scared of so many things: of losing Blaine, of seroconverting, of people reacting the way his dad does when they learn about Blaine's HIV.

Because for all the encouragement and support he's been trying to give Blaine, up until tonight Blaine's medical history had still always been something that affected Blaine, not him - with the obvious exception of their sex life, obviously, but still: they were Blaine's issues.

Only, of course, they're not.

If Kurt has learned anything that night it is that as long as he is dating Blaine, he is going to be judged for it. If Blaine was going to continue to be open about his status, Kurt would always be that guy - the one crazy enough to date an HIV positive man. Instead of escaping Ohio's small-mindedness he's just ended up exchanging one set of prejudices for the other, and he's not sure he'll always be able to deal with it properly. The unexpected turn the evening had taken had caught Kurt by surprise, and although he'd been able to keep himself together -for Blaine, and for HAPE- it hadn't been easy.

Still, when his dad speaks next it almost breaks Kurt's heart.

"I wanted so much better for you."

"But I have better!"

It's as if his dad has been reading his mind, but for some reason hearing the words out loud just make Kurt feel rebellious. Because he'll be the first to admit that the life he's chosen is not the easiest one - but that doesn't mean he'd have it any other way.

"Dad, don't you see?" he pleads. "I have Blaine. And isn't that what you wanted for me? Someone as open and brave as me? Because that's who Blaine is, dad. He may have needed a bit more time than I did to get there, and he may have made some mistakes on the way, but he's still a great person, and I-... I just wish you'd give him a chance."

The silence that follows must be the longest in Kurt's life, and he fights the urge to say more as he looks at his dad, looking old and small in the couch across from him. It had taken Kurt months before he'd dared to give Blaine a chance, and now he was asking his dad to do the same thing in a matter of minutes, based on nothing but Kurt's word that he wouldn't regret it.

Kurt's pretty sure that, if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't give in.

Fortunately for him, though, the roles are what they are.

"I just want you to be happy," his dad finally manages, and even if it's not a full-on approval, it's more than Kurt had dared hope for.

"I am," he says -chokes-, wiping away a tear from his cheek as he flings himself into his dad's arms. "I really, really am."