The next couple of weeks are some of the busiest Kurt has ever seen. There's finals, of course, and project deadlines are fast approaching for both him and Blaine. Mainly though, it's everything else going on around him that keeps him occupied.

There's Mercedes, who's stopped showing up at the karaoke bar, claiming to be stressed out by finals, and who, apart from a short and dry 'first HIV test negative, ABs for chlamydia', doesn't reply to any of Kurt's other inquiries or suggestions to meet up. There's Mael, who turns out to be a handful both in the literal and the figurative sense of the word, and not just because he seems to be obsessed with weaseling his way into Kurt and Blaine's bedroom. There's his dad, who Kurt knows he will have to talk to about Blaine come Christmas, now he no longer has Thanksgiving's excuse of 'oh, it's all so new and fresh and unstable'. And of course there's Blaine, who takes a week of sleepless nights and pacing around before he finally decides to accept Kim's offer and talk at the Christmas Spectacular, and then spends every moment of spare time preparing said talk.

And Kurt can't remember a time when he was happier.

Because despite all the worries and preoccupations he feels like he's walking on clouds, and it's obvious Blaine feels the same way. And it is only now, seeing Blaine laugh and joke around and even tease, that Kurt realizes just how unbalanced their first attempt at a relationship had been, and exactly how guarded and careful Blaine had been that whole time without Kurt even noticing. And even if he sometimes still wishes things had gone differently, in some strange way he thinks it has been worth it to get to the point where they're at now.

-o0o-

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Blaine asks him for the umpteenth time, and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"Yes," he sighs. "I want to go with you to your doctor's appointment."

"It's boring."

"I don't care."

"Worst case scenario I'll just get a new bottle of pills and that's it."

"Well then it won't take long, will it?"

"Nothing is actually going to happen."

"Blaine, will you shut up already?"

Kurt turns around at the door, one hand in his side and the other on the doorknob, his eyes shooting daggers.

"It's not up for discussion. You're going, I'm going - why are you even making such a fuss about this?"

Blaine shrugs as he pulls on his jacket.

"I don't know. I just think you're expecting this whole... circus and it's really nothing. We'll be in and out in like, ten minutes."

"I know," Kurt tells him. "I know how it goes - I've been there, remember? I expect to see the doctor, discuss your results, possibly get new meds, and go home. That sound about right?"

Blaine hesitates.

"I guess..."

"Well then, put on your scarf and let's get on with it. And don't you even dare accuse me of smothering you - I don't care how my DC4s you've got, it's 30 degrees out and you've been boosting Kleenex sales since Thanksgiving. You are not going out without a scarf."

"It's CD4s, actually..." Blaine corrects him with a smirk, and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"My point still stands. Scarf. Hat. Move."

Blaine immediately stiffens up, bringing his fingers to his temple in a faux salute, and Kurt can't help but laugh stepping back to hold the door open.

"Dork," he says accusingly, although he giggles when Blaine gives him a playful peck on the nose in passing.

"Quid erat demonstrandum," Blaine winks, and it's all Kurt can do to roll his eyes again as he closes the door behind them.

.

They take the subway to the hospital, and even though it's not the first time they've made this trip together, something feels different now. They're still going to the same hospital, and they're still anxiously awaiting the result - or at least Kurt is: Blaine doesn't seen to be bothered too much, buried as he is in the latest New York Times Bestseller. But while Blaine used to tag along with Kurt because Kurt didn't like going alone -and just maybe because of a not-so-small amount of underlying guilt- this time Kurt's taking the trip with Blaine because he wants to. Because he wants to support Blaine, because they're in this together.

It's barely half an hour before they're at the hospital, and even after all these months it still feels frighteningly familiar to Kurt. Past the reception, through the first corridor, elevator to the third floor; more corridors, more doors, around the corner and then - the waiting room. The chairs look just as uncomfortable as they did four months ago, and the posters on the walls are still screaming the same messages of prevention and protection at Kurt. And even though he knew it was coming, prepared himself for it, the memories of his first visit hit him full force as soon as he steps into that room - his confusion, his fear, the questionnaires and the tests and the pills and those two words from Blaine that changed his life -their lives- forever: "I'm positive."

This is not a happy place. It never can be, not for Kurt. Because no matter how many times they will give you good news here, a mere hint of bad news can be enough to put it all back on the line again, and suddenly Kurt is all too aware of that, and he automatically reaches for Blaine's hand although he immediately curses himself for it. Because this time he's supposed to support Blaine; this time he's supposed to be the strong one, the shoulder to lean on - not the other way around. But Blaine doesn't seem to mind, taking Kurt's hand in his own with a wink and a squeeze, and just like that Kurt can feel the anxiety subside, feels his pulse slow down and his breath get steady and he wonders when this happened - when Blaine had become that one person he trusts so unconditionally that he calms down just by taking his hand.

It was when Blaine had started trusting him, Kurt thinks, smiling as he watches Blaine saunter over to the reception desk and announce their arrival to the secretary. Because there he is: confident Blaine, relaxed Blaine, support-group-leader Blaine who's in his third year of Psychology, who loves music and football, and who happens to be HIV positive. But HIV is what he has, not what he is, and when Blaine turns around, smiling broadly, Kurt realizes that Blaine didn't actually need his support to come here, that his apparent nonchalance about the test results is not an act to calm himself down or to keep Kurt from panicking. It's a genuine lack of concern - not because he doesn't care, but because he honestly believes he's going to be all right, because he trusts his doctors and his meds to keep him healthy.

And so maybe this is not a happy place, but it's definitely not a sad place either.

It doesn't take long for someone to call Blaine's name, and as Blaine gets up he looks back at Kurt.

"Do you want to wait here?"

The question makes Kurt feel queasy, and he forces himself to push back the doubts and insecurities the question evokes - Blaine is simply giving him options, he tells himself, he's not trying to keep anything away from him.

"No, I wanna come," he says as airily as he can manage, and he only hopes that Blaine doesn't hear the quiver in his voice. If Blaine does he doesn't let it show because he nods, making a little bow as he holds out his arm to indicate Kurt can go first, and when Blaine places his hand reassuringly on his lower back, Kurt finally manages to calm down. A little.

.

"Blaine - oh, and eh... Kurt, was it? Good to see you again. Just give me a minute here, I still need to-"

Dr. Duchatelet waves her hand at her computer, and Kurt and Blaine sink down in two chairs that are only marginally more comfortable than the ones in the waiting room, waiting for her to finish up.

"So," she finally says after she closes the document and turns towards them. "How are you doing, Blaine? Can I assume Kurt's presence indicates a happy reunion or am I jumping to conclusions now?"

The look she shoots at the two of them is both curious and a little amused, and Kurt ducks his head, his cheeks flushed with a happy sort of embarrassment. From the corner of his eye he can see Blaine is grinning like an idiot though, and apparently that's all the answer Duchatelet needs because she immediately starts smiling. It's a strange look on her - she's a sturdy woman with short, dirty blonde hair that looks like she cuts it herself, and Kurt never liked her much; partly because of the hair, but mainly because she's blunt and can be rational to a fault. Maybe he had been a little too fast to judge though - after all, they hadn't exactly met under the brightest of circumstances.

"Well, congratulations," Duchatelet says with a nod, and then shoots the both of them an investigating look. "I trust you boys know how to keep it safer?"

It's all Kurt can do to duck his head even lower than before, in actually embarrassment this time -because he is so not talking about that to her- but Blaine doesn't seem to mind.

"We're... taking it one step at a time," he tells her, reaching out to give Kurt's knee a quick squeeze. "No need to rush into things."

And they're not - far from it even. They're not going quite as slow as Blaine had made them go the first time around, but still definitely slower than Kurt's relationship with Nick had progressed, way back when. After that first morning Blaine'd insisted on wearing a condom each time he came and it wasn't until the past weekend, a month after they'd started dating again, that Blaine had even allowed Kurt to touch him. Still, Kurt thinks, despite their slow pace -or maybe because of it- it's endearing to see Blaine as exited as he is, eager to explore and discover and experiment and at the same time holding back, not wanting to press Kurt or himself into something either of them is not ready for. It never gets awkward, though, a gentle squeeze or a silent glance sufficient to tell the other 'no, stop' or 'yes, ok', and Kurt's not sure which is the best part - to know that 'no' really means 'not yet', or that 'yes' really, really means 'yes'.

Duchatelet doesn't appear to have to much confidence in either of them, though, because instead of simply taking Blaine's answer at face value she asks him: "You remember the basic rule?"

"Come on me not in me," Blaine recites with a smile, although Kurt doesn't miss his little eye roll. "Don't worry, we know what we're doing, and as I said - we're taking things slow."

This time Duchatelet shoots them both an intimidating look, but when they both just stare back, unwavering, she finally seems to decide to give them the benefit of the doubt, and she folds her arms on the desk in front of her.

"All right then," she says, "but if you have any questions or doubts when you do take things further, don't hesitate to ask, ok? Both of you."

Despite her words she sends her most poignant look at Kurt, her eyes all but piercing through his skull and Kurt is sure that in that instant she can read his mind, which is all the more disconcerting because he actually does have a question, even if it isn't directly related to what they had just been talking about.

"Actually... ," he starts, gathering his courage and trying to ignore the way Blaine's head snaps at him in surprise, "I was... wondering... if I-eh... if I should get tested too. Not-not now, of course, but- maybe- like- if we do. Take things... further, I mean."

He swallows hard, trying in vain to will his blush to go away. Being forced to explain to a female doctor exactly what he had done to end up in need of PEP treatment six months prior had been properly unsettling, but discussing his sex life -even a putative, future version of it- with her is a completely different league of awkward. But when he looks back up Duchatelet is looking at him with apprehension in her eyes.

"I don't know," she says, folding her hands in front of her. "Do you expect you will need to be tested?"

"Oh- no. N-no-no, god, no," Kurt stammers, feeling himself turn an even deeper shade of red at the implication. "I just- I thought- maybe, like, precautionary-wise, or something?"

"Well," Duchatelet tells him patiently, "as long as you stick to the rules it's really not necessary. But if you think it will make you feel safer you're always welcome to come along with Blaine, although I have to warn you worrying about the results each time might give you more stress than not getting tested would."

Kurt nods in understanding. He remembers the anxiety that waiting for test results used to bring with it all too well, but then again - they'd be waiting for Blaine's results anyway, wouldn't they? In the back of his mind he knows it's not quite the same, but he also knows he's going to be stressing out about it anyway; he might as well get a four-monthly reassurance everything's still all right. But Duchatelet hasn't finished talking yet.

"There is another possibility, though," she says before Kurt can say something. "To further reduce the risk of transmission, I mean, since I assume that's what you're worried about. I could prescribe you Truvada."

"Truvada?" Kurt asks, incredulous, sure he didn't hear it right. "But that's- that's what's been causing Blaine trouble. That's what made his kidneys fail."

"It didn't exactly make his kidneys fail," the doctor corrects him, "and although it's not uncommon what happened with Blaine is still exceptional, especially when the Truvada is used as a pre-exposure prophylaxis, or PrEP - a little similar to the post-exposure prophylaxis or PEP you're already familiar with. But unlike PEP, which is started up within 72 hours after exposure to the virus, PrEP is a preventive measure which reduces the risk of HIV infection before exposure."

"But that's pills every day," Kurt says apprehensively.

"That's one pill every day," Duchatelet confirms, "and as with any anti-retroviral it is very important to take it daily, at the right time. Of course, this is an additional safety measure - safer sex practice is still a priority, and you will still need to use condoms whenever necessary. But PrEP significantly reduces the risk of infection between serodiscordant partners such as yourselves, and I really think it might be something to consider."

Back to pills, Kurt thinks, not sure how he feels about that. Back to pill boxes and punctual meal times and stuffing his body full with chemicals it shouldn't need in the first place. Of course, if it really would reduce the chances of him getting HIV he might be crazy to turn down the opportunity, but then again, how much sense did it make to take one pill a day to avoid taking three pills a day?

"I... I need to think about it," he manages, chancing a little smile when he feels Blaine's hand on his knee once again.

"Of course," Duchatelet concedes, neither her voice of her posture giving away whether or not she thinks Kurt should do it. "As I said - just let us know, or come along with Blaine. And that goes if you have any other worries or questions as well, all right?"

Kurt quickly nods, trying to make sense of the mixture of relief and anxiety that suddenly makes his stomach clench. He doesn't get too much time to dwell on it though, because across from the table the doctor's taken out a folder with Blaine's name on it.

"So, Blaine," Duchatelet says, opening the folder, "we were going to decide today whether or not to switch your cocktail, am I right?"

Kurt's stomach makes a jolt but Blaine just nods, looking unfazed, and Kurt resists the urge to reach out and take his hand.

"Well... " Duchatelet flips a page, her eyebrows furrowing as she studies Blaine's results. "I'll be honest - it's not as bad as I feared it might have been... Even so, I really think it's best if we took you off the Truvada."

And this time Kurt doesn't try to fight it, gripping Blaine's hand tightly in his own as the doctor continues.

"Now, here's what I propose we'll do. I'll give you new prescriptions, for Kivexa, and I want you to start taking these immediately. Nothing really changes, it's just the same procedure as you're used to - you take them with dinner, every day at the same time. Are you going anywhere for the holidays?"

"We're leaving for Ohio on Friday," Blaine confirms. "We should be back before New Year's though."

Duchatelet seems to contemplate something for a moment, looking at her calendar, and then back at Blaine.

"Is it possible for you to check in again on Monday, December 30th?" she asks, and for the first time that day Kurt can see the smallest shred of doubt in Blaine's posture.

"Eh... sure," Blaine replies, voice quavering just a little. "But why so soon?"

"I just want to make sure you have no adverse reactions," Duchatelet explains calmly. "The active component in Kivexa is acabavir, which has been know to cause an allergic reaction in some people. Now, I ha-"

"Wait-wait- what?" Kurt perks up, glancing between the doctor and Blaine. "What do you mean, 'allergic reaction'?"

Duchatelet seems to hesitate for a moment, but then she closes the folder in front of her, folding her hands together over it.

"A lot of HIV medications cause side effects," she begins, "and for Kivexa this is most commonly headache, hair loss, insomnia, ... However, a number of people -and do keep in mind this is a small number, around 5%- develop a more severe reaction. Which is why we'll have follow-up appointments with Blaine every two weeks for the next two months."

"And what exactly does this 'allergic reaction' consist of?" Kurt asks nervously, his heart beating fast against his chest. "Rash? Vomiting?"

"Could be," Duchatelet says with another nod. "Most commonly there's a fever and a rash. Patients usually have trouble breathing, are tired, and just generally feel sick. If and when this happens they should stop treatment immediately, or the reaction might become life-threatening. However," and even though she stresses the word Kurt's gasp is still clearly audible, "there is a strong link between the hypersensitivity and a certain gene, for which patients are tested before starting therapy. Blaine tested negative for this gene, which is why I feel confident to prescribe him with Kivexa."

"Are you okay with this?" Kurt asks heatedly as he turns towards Blaine, who, ironically, is just blowing his nose, looking at Kurt like a deer caught in the headlights. "Are you really going to take drugs that could land you in hospital that easily?"

"Well, if she says that it's my best option... ," Blaine offers feebly, looking at Duchatelet for support, but Kurt can hear the hesitation in his voice.

"Is there really no other way?" he asks, turning back towards Duchatelet. "There has got to be other drugs that you could prescribe him, no? Because I'm not liking this too much to be honest."

"I understand," Duchatelet concedes, and to his own surprise Kurt finds that he actually believes her. "But there is currently no reason to assume Blaine would react badly to the acabavir, and I really think this is the best choice for him at this moment. We will be following him up closely, and he will be given an alert card so that when something does happen anyone treating him will know what they might be dealing with. I promise you: we will not let anything happen to him."

It sounds convincing enough, and to her credit Duchatelet doesn't waver when Kurt sends her a scrutinizing look, but that doesn't mean Kurt likes the whole situation any better.

"You really think this is the best treatment option for Blaine?" he asks, and Duchatelet nods.

"I do."

"And you're sure you're ok with this?" he asks Blaine again, and Blaine shoots another look at Duchatelet before he turns to Kurt.

"Yes," he says, reaching out to take Kurt's hand in his. "Kurt, it's like she said - they're not gonna let anything happen to me. I'll be taking care of me, you'll be looking out for me, I'll come back here every two weeks, ... it's gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine."

Kurt wants to believe. He really, really does. But he doesn't have the experience Blaine has, doesn't share his confidence and his unfailing optimism. Still, if this is what the doctor thinks is best, and Blaine agrees... there's nothing he can say.

"Okay then," he says. "Okay. But if you so much as sneeze the wrong way I'll personally drag you to the E.R., and that's a promise."

But even is Blaine gives him his brightest smile, Kurt knows he won't sleep until Blaine makes it past the first two months of therapy and out of the danger zone.