The danger inside of me
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Danger!verse

The danger inside of me: Chapter 17


E - Words: 3,639 - Last Updated: Jul 30, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 26/26 - Created: Jun 05, 2012 - Updated: Apr 13, 2022
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"Heard anything from her yet?"

Kurt jumps, immediately putting away his cell phone - so far for trying to check for new messages inconspicuously...

"No," he says, a little unwillingly. Really, he shouldn't be this worried about someone who, for all intents and purposes, had insulted his boyfriend and his relationship multiple times. "No, she's not replying to any of my messages."

And it bugs him more than he thought it would.

Because insult or not, Mercedes is still his friend, and for her to shut him out at a time where he knows she needs someone, where he knows she doesn't have many, if any, other people to be there for her - it hurts. It hurts and it worries him but most of all it makes him feel powerless, and if there's something that Kurt Hummel doesn't take well to, it's feeling powerless.

"Come here," Blaine tells him, pulling him closer and lifting his hand to rub his thumb over Kurt's cheek. "Give her some time, ok? She'll be fine, you'll see - she's got the odds in her favor."

But Kurt huffs.

"Yeah, that's what Katniss said, too."

"Hey, when did you become such a pessimist?" Blaine smiles, prodding him. "She'll be fine. She's just got a lot to deal with and think about right now, so just give her some space, she'll come around... Meanwhile..." He spins Kurt around so that he ends up at Blaine's side with Blaine's arm draped loosely around his shoulder. "... why don't you stop worrying for five minutes and help me decide which one of these will be our new housemate."

There are cats everywhere. Which makes sense, since they're standing in the middle of the cat house of their local shelter, but still Kurt feels a little overwhelmed by the sheer amount of animals surrounding them. Black cats, white cats, big cats, small cats, young, playful cats and old, lazy, sleeping cats: cats in every size, shape, and color imaginable, and Kurt has no idea how on earth he's supposed to pick just one. Not that he has any ambition of taking home more than that - the combined smell of the animals surrounding him is overwhelmingly sharp and poignant, and about as far as possible from how Kurt would want his apartment to smell.

"Well," he says, trying to sound decisive. "I want an adult, short-haired, queen. How hard can it be?"

"Peace of cake, surely," Blaine agrees, sinking down on the ground to pet what looks like an immense ball of hair with two ears and a tail. "I just demand it's potty-trained."

"Right..." Kurt drawls, watching Blaine and his new friend for a bit before he lets eyes roam around the room, mentally assessing every animal he sees. Too young, too fat, too old, too ugly, ... despite the large number there's not a single animal that he feels particularly drawn to - until he spots a pitch black, lazy-looking cat lying on top of one of the many cat towers spread around the room.

"Hi there, sweetie," he says with a soft smile as he walks over, squatting down so he can more easily rub behind its ears, and the animal immediately leans into the touch. "Who are you, now?"

He reaches for the collar, giggling because the animal keeps trying to butt its head into Kurt's hand as he tries to get a hold of the name tag. But when he finally manages to keep the tag still for long enough to be able to read the name he sighs. Molly. As sweet as the cat seems -she's actually started purring now- there is just no way he can get away with keeping a cat with such a dramatically un-fabulous name as Molly.

He's distracted from Molly by another cat who's started an attempt to climb on his lap. It's a beautiful animal, big and orange with a dark stripe running all the way across its spine, and before Kurt can do anything to stop it it has already draped itself over his leg, sniffing curiously at the fabric.

"Got yourself a friend?" Blaine quips, still playing with the furry ball on his lap, and Kurt frowns.

"I'm not sure," he says, looking down at the Garfield look-a-like that's started kneading its paws against his thigh. "For one, I'm pretty sure it's a tomcat, and- outch!" He hisses in pain, wrapping his hands around the cats front paws, quickly pulling them forward and then up. "And he's ruining my pants!"

Immediately Blaine starts laughing and Kurt doesn't hesitate to send him a dirty look before he pushes the fashion-hating animal away from him, not really bothering to see where it lands -on its feet, he has no doubt-, anxiously inspecting the fabric of his trousers instead. There's one or two loops sticking out that were most definitely not there this morning and he curses inwardly. It's nothing he can't fix, but repairing his brand new pants had most definitely not been on his planning for the night.

"If he hated my clothes so much he could've just told me," he tells Blaine indignantly, walking back to him. "Why do I always attract the feisty ones and you get the calm ones?"

Sure enough the animal on Blaine's lap is the poster picture of relaxation, clearly enjoying the attention Blaine is given him, and by the time Kurt makes it over to Blaine it has even turned itself on its back, head dangling over Blaine's knees and legs pawing aimlessly in the air as Blaine rubs its belly, his fingers all but disappearing completely in the long, greyish-white fur. It looks incredibly soft, and unable to resist Kurt reaches out, intending to rub the animal behind its ears, but before he can do so his wrist is captured in a strong embrace and subjected to a gentle but thorough cleaning.

"His name is Mael," a young but confident voice tells them, seemingly out of nowhere, and they look up to find a small, blond boy looking at them from the doorway. He can't be any older than 13, but from his posture and his tone Kurt can tell that he knows his way around here. "We think he's part Maine Coon or something, and that's why his hair is so long. He was brought in last week, and he's only six months, but he's really sweet. He loves attention but he doesn't need it, so it's ok if you're out during the day for work or classes."

"Oh but we're not-" Kurt starts, but Blaine talks right over him.

"Has he been castrated?" he asks, ignoring Kurt's murderous look, and the boy nods.

"All of our cats are neutered," he says matter-of-factly. "They've also been tested for feline leukemia and they have a microchip in case they get lost or something."

"Blaine," Kurt says urgently, his internal panick only increasing when he sees the way Blaine is smiling down at the animal in his lap, "we are nót taking this cat! Firstly, he's a he. Secondly, he's too young, too hairy, and too big!"

"Actually," the blond boy interrupts him, "he's not that big yet. As I said he's only six months, he'll probably grow a bit further still."

"Exactly!" Kurt tells him gratefully before he turns back to Blaine who hasn't stopped petting Mael for even a second. "Blaine, do you have any idea just how much hair this cat is gonna shed come spring? Right when I'll be working on my designs for the Easter show? There will be hair everywhere! We are not. taking. this cat!" But when he stops to catch his breath Blaine makes use of the small pause to flash a wide grin at him, his eyes sparkling and knowing, and Kurt lets out a frustrated sigh. He knows that grin and even worse - he knows what that grin does to him. So does Blaine. "You're gonna make me take this cat aren't you?"

"Yes, I am," Blaine winks, raising his eyebrows and pouting his lips as he points his chin at the animal on his lap. "Just look at how cute he is! And he loves you already!"

Blaine's right - at least if the red spot on Kurt's wrist where Mael has been licking at for the past three minutes is any indication. But Kurt can't surrender that easily.

"This is not what we agreed on, Blaine," he starts, but then Blaine looks up at him, and he freezes. "Thát- is not fair."

"What isn't?" Blaine smiles innocently, batting his eyelashes at Kurt which only serves to further emphasize the puppy look in his eyes. "Kurt, he's sweet, and handsome, and he doesn't claw at your new pants, and his name is Mael!"

"It means 'prince'," the boy in the doorway supplies, and Kurt sends him a murderous look, because Blaine and his puppy eyes are making a strong enough case already, they most certainly don't need the boy on their side as well.

"Yes!" Blaine exclaims. "Prince Mael! Seriously - how cool a name is that?"

It is a pretty cool name, Kurt has to admit -cooler certainly than 'Molly' had been- but he's still not quite convinced.

"Come on, Kurt," Blaine pleads, obviously picking up on Kurt's reservations. "How can you resist all that fluffiness? And look at it this way - whenever he does something wrong you'll be able to blame me for it, because I'm the one that picked him."

Now there's an argument Kurt can get behind.

"You would have to brush him every day," he says sternly, and Blaine nods much too enthusiastically, eyes sparkling. "If he sprays on my couch I'll hold you personally responsible." Another nod, another sparkle, and Kurt lifts his chin. "And if he ever -ever- touches any of my designs, you will manually remove each and every single cat hair from them. Understood?"

"Understood," Blaine nods gravely, clearly fighting to keep from bouncing up and down as he awaits Kurt's verdict.

"You really want this cat, don't you?" Kurt asks. He's stalling, and he knows it. Blaine knows it too, judging from the eager sparkle in his eye, and once again Kurt sighs. He's going to regret this as soon as they come home, he knows, but seeing Blaine as enthusiastic as he is...

"All right then," he says resignedly, and before he's even finished talking Blaine's already slung himself around his neck.

"Thank you!" he sing-songs, and then grabs Mael and lifts him over his head. "You hear that, buddy? We're gonna be roomies!"

-o0o-

Although Mael makes it extensively clear he does nót like subways, the three of them make it back to the apartment in one piece, and Blaine doesn't even bother to take off his jacket before he takes Mael to the living room.

"Close the bedroom doors before you let him out!" Kurt shouts after him as he shrugs off his jacket, but even as he says the words he can see Blaine open the cardboard carrier the shelter had provided them with.

"Blaine!" he admonishes as he moves towards the doors to close them himself. "What did I just tell you?"

"Aah, he won't go in there - he's still too overwhelmed to even look in that direction," Blaine reassures him, wiping his nose for what must be the fiftieth time that day as he points at Mael who, effectively, has only just poked his head out of the box, sniffing the air and looking around curiously. "And he can have one of the rooms, no? We don't need two - we can move in in one and then give him the other one."

"You mean us moving into one bedroom?" Kurt asks incredulously, heart beating fast against his chest, not sure if he heard it right.

When they'd first gotten together back in March Blaine had flat-out refused to give up his own bedroom, something that had bothered Kurt more than he'd wanted to admit at the time, and so Kurt hadn't dared to bring up the subject yet, not quite ready for that kind of rejection. But now suddenly here Blaine was, just a little over a week into their newly established relationship, casually suggesting they move in together with the same kind of ease with which he would have asked Kurt to pick up some milk on his way from class. Granted, it was said partly in jest, but it still felt huge, although Kurt immediately forces himself to swallow down the tears pressing behind his eyes - if this could get Blaine in his bedroom every night he isn't about to risk ruin it by making a fuss about it.

He clears his throat.

"Sure, we can share a room. But him getting the other one? No way. He's a cat, Blaine, he doesn't get to have his own room."

Without waiting for a reply he moves to the couch, taking his laptop from the coffee table as he walks by it, and while he waits for it to start up he watches Blaine, sitting cross-legged on the floor some four feet in front of Mael's carrier, gently tapping the floor with his fingers in an attempt to coax their newest flatmate out of his box.

"You do know you're just scaring him, don't you?" he says, although the smile in his voice is apparent even to him, but Blaine doesn't even bother to look up.

"No, I'm not," he says distractedly. "I'm using his hunter instincts to my advantage to lure him out of safety."

"Of course," Kurt murmurs to himself, smiling, and he shoots Blaine one last amused look before he returns his attention to the screen in front of him.

He's got one new friend request on Facebook from a guy he doesn't know and which he immediately refuses -pity because his profile picture does look kinda cute, but Kurt's heard too many horror stories to take the risk; plus, he's kinda taken-, one new message from Madeleine, his History partner, which he chooses to ignore for now, and one wall post from Nick.

"Nick's not coming for karaoke on Friday," he says out loud, surprised. Nick was the one who basically invented karaoke Fridays, and Kurt wouldn't have been able to tell you when the last time he'd missed one was even if you'd threatened to cut up his brand new Demeulemeester pea coat.

"Maybe he's got a date?" Blaine suggests over his shoulder. "He was practically glued to his cell the other night."

"He was?"

Kurt hadn't noticed - but then again, he hadn't noticed much that night except for Mercedes. Still - Nick: a date? He wouldn't, not without telling Kurt, at least.

"Hey, while you're at it - could you check my e-mail for me?" Blaine's voice pulls him out of his thoughts. "I asked Justin to send me the setlist for Sunday and he keeps on forgetting."

"No, it's here, sent it this morning, apparently," Kurt says after he's switched tabs, and he laughs when Blaine brings his hands together and mouths a silent 'thank you' at the ceiling. "And you've got another one too, from... Sunya... Soondja... how am I supposed to pronounce this name?"

"Sun-ja Kim?" Blaine asks, immediately jumping up when Kurt nods. "Oh god - that's- that's my supervisor. The one that's speaking at the Christmas Spectacular, remember?"

"You e-mailed her?" Kurt asks, surprised, handing over the laptop as Blaine sinks down next to him in the couch.

"Well, you said I should, didn't you?" Blaine tells him. "To avoid the awkward when I'll meet her at Dalton?"

"Yeah, but I didn't know you'd actually done it. You said you did't want to disclose over e-mail."

"I didn't," Blaine says, his eyes flitting over the screen. "I just told her I'd be there and-" He cuts himself off, eyes widening as he reads on. "No, please... please don't do this to me, no... oh god, please, no."

He pushes the laptop back, all color drained from his face, and Kurt stares at him in alarm.

"What? What is it? What did she-"

He stops himself when Blaine wordlessly turns the laptop towards him, and when Blaine rises up and starts pacing around he pulls it onto his own lap to start reading.

Hello Blaine,

It is good to hear from you! I had been wondering whether we would meet at the Dalton's Christmas Spectacular; I actually thought you might have been the one to suggest HAPE as the beneficiary of the fundraiser to the headmaster. It is quite a coincidence indeed!

I am looking forward to meeting you and exchange ideas and views. However, since most of the donations raised will actually go to the summer project you will be supervising, I thought you might be interested in doing the presentation yourself? It could be beneficial from a fundraising point of view, because as an alumnus of the school you are granted a certain amount of respect and trust that I, as an outsider, would not enjoy. It would of course be a valuable experience for yourself as well, and it would certainly give you more credit in terms of involvement in the project and our organization. It stands to reason I would help you with any and all aspects of the preparation should you choose to take the offer.

Please let me know whether you would be interested.

Best regards,

Sun-ja Kim
Prevention Coordinator

.

"You have to do it."

"I can't do it."

They've both spoken at the same time, and for a few seconds they just stare at each other in silence, but then Blaine shakes his head.

"I can't do it, Kurt. I just- I can't. She doesn't even know what it is she's asking of me and I-"

"She's not asking for a testimony, Blaine," Kurt interrupts him, already feeling where this is heading. "It's just an introductory presentation; it's exactly what she was going to do, only it would be you speaking instead of her. And she's right - people will be more likely to donate if the speaker is someone they know. And people liked you at Dalton."

But Blaine huffs, dragging his hands through his hair.

"Great - so what am I, some kind of human money-magnet? She's asking me to talk about HIV and AIDS to my former classmates and teachers, Kurt, seriously - how long do you think it's going to take them to figure it out?"

"But they won't!" Kurt exasperates. "They have no reason to assume this is anything more to you, do they? And Kim suggested you give that talk without knowing you're positive - it would just be something you'd do within the framework of your internship, nobody's gonna think twice about it."

"Right," Blaine drawls cynically, "because that would be so plausible."

"Anybody could do an internship with an AIDS organization, you said so yourself," Kurt counters, getting up now and walking over to Blaine. "Blaine, you said you wanted to help people. Well, here's your chance!"

But Blaine just shoots him a desperate look and then shakes his head.

"They're all gonna be there, Kurt. My friends, my classmates, ... the Warblers. Everyone. They're all gonna be there and I'll have to talk to them about something nobody even knows I care about."

"Then don't," Kurt tells him, grabbing Blaine's hands. "If you're really that uncomfortable then just tell her you don't want to do it."

"Oh yeah, first task my supervisor gives me and I'm refusing to do it - great way to start an internship, don't you think?" Blaine says despondently, trying to pull his hands out of Kurt's grip, but Kurt's not letting go. "Besides, you read the e-mail - if I don't do it I'll lose my credit before I've even started."

"You're not gonna lose anything, Blaine - she didn't give you a task, she made a suggestion. You're free to take it or not, it's your decision." Kurt bites his lip, bringing Blaine's hands up as he rubs his thumbs over the backs of his hands. "Look, Blaine, if you really don't want to do it, then don't - don't just do it because you feel like you have to. But I really think you should think about it first, before you decide anything. Don't just act on impulse, because you're going to regret that."

But the look in Blaine's eyes when he looks back at Kurt is nothing if not panic.

"There's nothing to decide, Kurt - I can't do this. I just can't. It's- it's what I wanna do, some day, maybe, yes. But- not yet, not- not when so many people I know and care about are going to be there. Because if I get up there and do that talk without telling anyone just why it's so important to me I'm gonna feel like a hypocrite. But I can't tell them either, Kurt, I just-... it's too much. I can't do it. I just- can't."

"All right," Kurt tries to reassure him, stepping a bit closer and wrapping his arms around his waist. "All right, then don't do it. Just... don't reply yet, ok? Sleep on it, give it some time... And for what it's worth: I don't think you'd be a hypocrite. I think you'd be doing the most you can within your own boundaries. I think-... I think you'd be amazing."

Kurt tries to hold Blaine's gaze as he says it, desperate to let Blaine know that he means it, that he believes in him, but Blaine just drops his head against Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt doesn't even know how long they're standing there, simply holding each other, each occupied by their own thoughts.

What he does know, however, is that when he opens his eyes and looks back up again, he is greeted by the sight of a large, fluffy, grey-haired cat casually sitting on the kitchen counter. And he tries to stay calm, he really does, tries to say something along the lines of 'Blaine, your cat is licking out our frying pan.'. But when Mael looks up at him, the smugness written all over his face, it's all Kurt can do to storm straight into the kitchen.

"Mael I swear - if you don't get down there RIGHT AWAY-...!"

End Notes: Internet connections are a bitch. Just throwing that out there.Anyway - more fluffiness practice! Starting next week things will be gradually be getting a little more serious again, so savor it :). From the look of things you'll be getting seven more chapters and an epilogue - writing's going fairly smoothly now, and as soon as I've wrapped up the whole thing (give me a week or 2, 3?) I'll go back to twice weekly postings, promise :).Thanks to those who commented last time -anon review replies on my tumblr (aworldoflis, track 'tdiom-reviews') as usual- and a big kiss to all you new readers who have come out of nowhere :o. Thanks for reading, and see you next week!

Comments

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hehe Great chapter!!

Woot! Glad to hear I'm on track! ;)

Who all knows about Blaine having HIV? I know Mercedes and Nick know, Blaine didn't get mad about Kurt telling them? Does Rachel know?

Hey! So I'm not gonna reply to all of your reviews but let me just say that I thoroughly enjoy your liveblogging :). Some things you did ask though... uhm... yeah, this is set in the old canon timeline where Blaine was older than Kurt. Kurt did indeed kiss Blaine full on the lips in the prequel and he was hesitant here because 1. this sequel wasn't planned and I needed Kurt a bit more angsty than he was at the end of TDIOY because otherwise the story would be boring and 2. kissing Blaine then was an impulse, he didn't think about it; this time he had all the time in the world to (over)think it, and so he did. Which is also why he goes back and forth about liking Blaine so often. After they broke up Blaine stopped using the pet name 'pretty' for Kurt altogether, that first chapter it just slipped, but yeah, Kurt slips too sometimes, especially the closer they become again ('baby'). When Brad and Blaine got home tipsy that night they wouldn't have gone much further if Kurt hadn't been home. Maybe (maybe!) they'd have kissed, but that would've been a wake-up call for Blaine and he would've stopped it there. And who knows about Blaine's HIV - in TDIOY Kurt told his dad, Nick, Rachel, and Mercedes (with Blaine's permission). And then Gary and his parents, obviously... // Hope that clarified a few things, happy further reading! >< -Lis xx