The community center is only a few blocks away from their home, but Kurt isn't surprised he's never noticed it before: tucked away between a coffee shop and a bakery store, it's a narrow, run-down building that's well past its prime and looks about as inviting as a sewer. The inside is only marginally better, with poorly lit hallways and posters and announcements for current and past events plastered all over the walls - as it seems they just missed out on a spaghetti fundraiser the night before. Down the hall someone is playing the violin but hey turn to the opposite direction, until Blaine stops about halfway through and steps back to hold the door, inviting Kurt into what looks like a small classroom. There's a blackboard on one side of the walls, but the desks have been pushed aside for the occasion, leaving only a circle of chairs in the middle.

"You can grab a coffee, if you like," Blaine tells him, gently directing him to one of the tables where a percolator and some nondescript white coffee mugs wait, "I need to talk to Mark first."

Kurt nods, and he's just poured himself a cup when he feels someone coming up behind him.

"Well hello there, gorgeous," a male voice drawls, and Kurt spins around to find a small, emaciated man grinning at him. The lines and grooves decorating his face seem to be due to hardship and neglect rather than old age, but still his grey hair is long, greasy, and messy, and the smell that hits Kurt's nostrils definitely does not originate from a bottle. And although Kurt can see his clothes must have been of decent quality once, they look worn-out and flea-bitten, hanging loosely around his frame.

"Hi," he says, plastering a smile on his face in an attempt to hide his discomfort. "I'm Kurt."

He holds out his hand -let it never be said that Kurt Hummel is impolite- and the other man stares at it for a while before he takes it.

"Kurt, heh?" he says, looking Kurt up and down, his face splitting in a wide grin as if he's come to some sort of realization. "George."

It takes a few seconds for Kurt to place the name, but his stomach clenches when it finally hits him: this must be the man Blaine had been talking about last week.

"M-my condolences," he stammers, suddenly ill at ease, because what are you supposed to say to a man who's lost his wife to the same infection he's suffering from? "I'm- so, so sorry for your loss."

For a second, George seems surprised Kurt even knows about his wife's passing, but then he shrugs.

"Shit happens, kid," he says easily, although Kurt can see his eyes start to shine. "We held on to each other for as long as we could. That's all you can do, you know. But let's not talk about that - you're way too pretty to be thinking about sad things."

He winks at Kurt mischievously, and Kurt heaves a sigh of relief when Blaine chooses that moment to join them.

"Everything alright?" Blaine asks, no doubt picking up on the sudden unspoken tension between Kurt and the other man and curling his arm protectively around Kurt's waist.

"Oh absolutely," George grins, so broadly Kurt can see a large portion of his teeth are missing. "Your boy here was just showing me his beautiful lapel pin."

He points at the hippo head attached to Kurt's vest, and Blaine smiles, pulling Kurt in just a little tighter.

"Well, you can talk fashion later if you want, but I'd like to introduce Kurt to some people first, if that's alright with you?"

George makes a half bow, waving his arm to indicate Blaine is free to take Kurt, and Kurt happily lets himself be steered away.

"He didn't try to hit on you, did he?" Blaine asks Kurt as soon as they are out of earshot, a note of concern in his voice even though he's still smiling. "George is a good guy, but he isn't always the most appropriate conversational partner, I'm afraid."

"No, I-eh... I expressed my condolences about his wife's passing," Kurt says uneasily. "He... he didn't seem too upset, though, even if he didn't look like he'd bothered to shower since the wake."

"Yes, well, he cared a lot for her, but their marriage was more about societal pressure than about love," Blaine explains. "And George has his own set of rules when it comes to personal hygiene, unfortunately. We sometimes make him shower here, but there's only so much we can do, really."

Kurt sends him a puzzled look, not sure what he means, but before he can ask Blaine lets go of him, crying out an enthusiastic 'Jacky!' as he runs up to a beautiful black-haired woman who's just entered the room, a baby carrier on her arm.

"It's so good to see you! How have you been? Everything alright?"

It's fortunate that Blaine is quite a bit smaller than the woman he's run up to, Kurt thinks, because otherwise the force with which he almost tackles her might have made her topple over. 'Jacky' seems to be unperturbed by Blaine's enthusiasm, though, and they immediately start an animated conversation. And while Kurt's not sure whether he's allowed to intrude, one look at George behind him is all he needs to move to Blaine's side.

"Kurt!" As soon as Blaine feels Kurt appear next to him, he snakes his hand around Kurt's waist, gently pushing him forward. "Kurt, I'd like you to meet Jacqueline. Jacqueline, this is Kurt."

Jacqueline extends her hand towards Kurt and Kurt takes it, returning her smile.

"Nice to meet you, Kurt," she says, looking him up and down in much the same way George had done only minutes earlier. There seems to be an exchange of glances between her and Blaine, but it's over so quickly Kurt can't be sure.

"Can I take her?" Blaine asks, gesturing towards the carrier. The baby girl looks up at them with wide, open eyes, and Kurt finds himself hoping fervently that Jacqueline is here to support someone else, just as he is. Because if she's positive, her newborn daughter must be too, and even though he would never want to deny anyone the right to have a child, the idea that the little girl could already carry the burden of a positive HIV status before she has even had the chance to grow up, breaks his heart.

"Hey there, princess," Blaine coos as he gently picks up the baby and cradles her in his arms. "How are you doing today?"

He plays with her hands for a bit before he turns back to Jacqueline.

"She's beautiful, really. If you ever need a babysitter I'll be glad to volunteer - I'm sure Kurt wouldn't mind."

Kurt himself is not so sure, but Blaine is beaming and he's not about to say no to someone he's only just met.

"You're the sweetest, Blaine, and I'll definitely remember that," Jacqueline says, smiling. "But for now we're fine, aren't we, little miss smellypants?"

They continue to exchange little pleasantries, once in a while interrupted by someone else wanting to welcome Jacqueline back, until they hear someone clapping behind them.

"All right, people, let's get started!"

After Jacqueline takes her daughter back over from Blaine, they move to the center of the room. It takes a few moments for everyone to settle down -quite some more people have come in since Blaine and Kurt arrived-, but soon enough the calm in the room returns. There's a clear majority of men, and Kurt's feels a pang of guilt at his own prejudice when he notes with surprise most of them don't seem to be gay. What does put him off, though, is the amount of color in the room - almost a third of the attendees are Black, and apart from himself there's only two other Whites. As multicultural as he knows New York is, the proportions seem off, and he makes a mental note to ask Blaine about it later.

"Good evening, everyone," a middle aged man starts, smiling broadly, "it seems we're quite a group today. One or two new faces here and there too, so I suggest we start with a round of names - but first of all I'd like to welcome Jacqueline back!"

There's an enthusiastic applause and some hooting, and Jacqueline accepts it with a small wave of her hand and a bashful smile Kurt hadn't thought she had in her.

"How are you two doing, Jacky?"

"Fine, fine," Jacqueline says, "I was out of the hospital in two days. Emily was a bit underweight, but she's quickly catching up, and her last two tests have come back negative, so that's a start. She's still on meds, but if the third is negative she won't have to take those anymore either, and then hopefully she'll start sleeping through the night."

She crosses her fingers as she smiles around the circle, and Kurt's almost tempted to return the gesture for how hopeful she sounds - mainly though he is just relieved that, somehow, the little girl seems to be spared of HIV.

"I'm so happy to hear that!" their apparent group leader says. "Now, how about we go round the circle first? I'll start. Hello everybody, my name is Mark, and I've been positive for seventeen years."

Mark gestures with his hand to the man sitting on his right, and one by one, everybody gets introduced.

"Hi everyone, my name is Andy, and I'm on my third week of PEP," says a young man shyly. With his round, beardless cheeks and his old-fashioned bowl cut he looks every bit the small-town-boy-recently-arrived-in-the-big-city that he probably is and Kurt doesn't need to think hard to imagine how he came to be in this situation, feeling his heart go out to the boy.

"Hi, I'm Monique," a heavy woman says in a low voice, "and I've been positive for a little over one year now."

Little Emily chooses this moment to voice her dissatisfaction with having been woken up, kicking her arms and legs and shaking her head wildly when the finger her mother presses against her lips turns out not to be producing any milk. It doesn't take long before Jacqueline stands up, taking her handbag and her daughter as she silently mouths to Mark that she's going to find the kitchen to heat up Emily's bottle. Kurt watches them go, and any thought he might have had about how breastfeeding would be so much healthier immediately go out through the window when he realizes that, in this case, breastfeeding is definitely not the better option.

He's sure he's missed a few introductions, because by the time he tunes back in, they've gone almost around the circle.

"Hello, I'm George. I've been HIV positive for probably half my life and was diagnosed with AIDS six months ago."

"Hey everybody. My name is Blaine and I've been positive for four years."

There's a silence, and suddenly Kurt realizes that it's his turn to introduce himself.

"Oh! N-no," he stammers. "No, I'm not- I mean... I'm just- Kurt," he finally sighs, cutting off his own ramble. "I'm Kurt. And I'm just... I'm here with Blaine."

If George and Jacqueline hadn't given it away yet, the amount of nodding he sees in reaction to his introduction leaves him no doubt: most all of them know who he is. Some of them even wink at Blaine or give him a small thumbs up, and it leaves Kurt shifting uncomfortably on his chair. Silly as it is, he's never given the fact that Blaine might have talked about him here any thought, and the idea is strangely unsettling, not in the least because he has no idea what exactly Blaine has told them and how much they know about what happened between them.

"All right," Mark interrupts his thoughts. "Is there anyone who wants to start today?"

There's a moment of silence before one of the younger men -Alex, if Kurt remembers correctly- lifts his hand, and Mark nods at him to indicate he has the floor. Alex smiles back a little bashfully, ducking his head to hide his blush when he starts talking.

"I met someone," he says quietly, and his cheeks turn an even deeper shade of red when the people around the circle start wooting and wolf whistling.

"That's really great, Alex," Mark smiles at him, looking genuinely excited. "You could bring her sometime, if you want."

But Alex shakes his head, biting his lip.

"I- I haven't actually asked her out yet," he says, suddenly sounding a lot more insecure. He doesn't really elaborate much further, and when the silence stretches out a little too long, Mark speaks up again.

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't know. About... this..." Alex makes a wide circular movement with his arm, gesturing to all of them. "And I'm not sure if she would say yes if- if she did."

A number of people in the circle nod in understanding, and Kurt feels his stomach churn, because for a moment the image of Alex blurs and morphs into another - his skin a few shades lighter, his eyebrows a little thicker, his hair equally black and curly but just a little more gelled back, and he wonders if Blaine had been in Alex' position once, too, if he'd told the group about Kurt and asked advice on whether or how to tell him about what was going on with him.

He chances a glance at Blaine who's sitting cross-legged on his chair, and he's not sure why he's surprised when he takes the floor.

"What's her name?" Blaine asks, and the simple question seems to relax Alex a little, his blush returning to his cheeks as he thinks of the girl that has caught his eye.

"Victoria," he says, a little dreamily. "Her name is Victoria."

"So where did you meet her?"

"At my house," Alex replies smiling, finally looking up. "My mum has this reading club and last weekend they were coming to our house, and Victoria- well, her mum, really, is in the club too and Victoria tagged along for once and she... she is so beautiful. And nice. You have all these pretty girls who swear in every sentence and think they have to dress like they're extras in some rapper's music video but she's not like that, she's her own person. And she's smart, too, she works at-"

He cuts himself off, suddenly aware of the fact that he has started rambling, and he ducks his head again, hands fumbling in his lap.

"Then if she's smart, don't you think she'll still accept you if you tell her?" Blaine asks, but the panic in Alex' eyes makes it clear he doesn't agree in the slightest.

"But she could tell my mom!" he says, his voice suddenly higher pitched."Or my boss! I can't afford to lose my job, Blaine, I really can't."

"Or she could be understanding and not tell a soul if you ask her to," Blaine counters. "Why are you so sure she'll reject you?"

"Because it's what I would've done, isn't it?" Alex exasperates. "If someone had said to me they were positive I would've run the other way and told everyone to make sure they wouldn't be able to do more harm."

"Well, then it's a good thing you want to ask Victoria out, not your old self, isn't it?" Blaine smiles, tilting his head, but Alex doesn't seem to get the joke.

"I just want her to give me a chance," he says unhappily, rubbing his palms together. "I'm sure if I could get her to give me a chance she would see it's not important."

"Then wait until the second date to tell her," Blaine says simply. "Or the third. Or fourth. It doesn't have to be the first topic of conversation."

But Alex shakes his head, unconvinced.

"But then won't she be mad with me for not telling her first, for leading her on?" he asks. The look he sends Blaine is pleading, almost as if he's begging him to debunk his fear, to tell him he's wrong.

"Don't you think that, if she's understanding, it won't matter when you tell her?" Blaine asks, scooting a little further on his chair. "If she is the kind of person that would still go on a date with you after you tell her, then she will also understand if you wait a little."

"But what if she doesn't understand?" Alex asks again, a little more desperate now. "What if she tells everyone and she hates me and she doesn't want to see me ever again?"

"What if at this very moment she's asking the same questions to her friends because she's positive too?" Blaine counters again. "What if in five years you find she really liked you too but you were too scared to find out?"

He unfolds his legs, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, to get just a little closer to Alex.

"There's no right way to do this, Alex," he says softly. "So you need to do it the way you feel most comfortable with. If you don't want to risk your heart being broken before you're sure she'll accept you, then tell her before you ask her out. If you want to get to know her a little better first, then tell her later."

Blaine keeps talking, but Kurt tunes him out, looking down at his hands instead because the conversation is starting to hit a little too close to home. He can feel and sometimes even see people's eyes drifting back at Blaine and him from time to time, their looks too knowing to be coincidental. Blaine seems unfazed, and at first Kurt suspects he just hasn't noticed how they're the center of attention now. But when he glances over at him and automatically tunes back in on the conversation, he realizes Blaine is very much aware of the looks and stares.

"Don't make the same mistake I did," he tells Alex, "don't wait until it's too late. I know it's scary and frightening and it's gonna suck if she turns you down. But it's gonna suck so much harder if she finds out later - for both of you. I can't guarantee that she'll take it well, but I can promise you she'll take it badly if you wait too long to tell her. That doesn't mean you have to tell her first thing in the morning - you can take a little more time for yourself, try to figure out how she might feel about it, if you can trust her not to tell your mother or your boss. It's your call, Alex, but the only person who has the answer is Victoria. And the only thing you can do is be honest, to yourself, and to her, and hope for the best."

Blaine doesn't look at Kurt once, keeps his attention focused on Alex the whole time, but Kurt still feels Blaine's words are directed at him too, as if he's offering some kind of apology in disguise, and he wonders if that's the reason Blaine chose to take over the conversation from Mark.

It soon becomes clear it's not.

Because after the conversation with Alex has ended, Blaine spends almost twenty minutes convincing the White woman -Jo-Anne- to start up therapy, and another five lecturing a young guy after he admits he had unprotected sex the weekend before. Not once does he bring up the issue with his kidneys, and the few times that he does mention something more personal it's as an example or as an illustration of the point he's trying to make.

And Kurt watches with growing wonder as Blaine talks, calm and collected, but still empathic and compassionate. It reminds him of a Blaine he hasn't seen in a long time, not since they had just met, when Blaine had spent hours talking to him, encouraging him to stand up for himself, assuring him that there was nothing wrong with who he was, that just because he wasn't respected or particularly popular didn't mean he didn't deserve to be. Then, like now, Blaine had appeared confident, put-together, not a trace of the doubts and insecurities Kurt had only recently learned he had been struggling with at the time, his attention fully focused on the person and the problem in front of him. But he is different now than he had been then - two years of Psychology courses and even longer of fighting his own battles have made him stronger, not limited to little catch phrases to try to get his message across.

It makes that the whole night couldn't have been further from what Kurt had expected.

Because what he had expected was to see a more vulnerable Blaine, a Blaine who would talk about his struggles in a way he couldn't with Kurt. He had expected a Blaine who would ask advice, a Blaine in need of support, but instead he gets a confident, almost happy Blaine, a Blaine who's comfortable in his skin, virus and all, and who's determined to help other people find that same comfort. And while the thought that maybe Blaine isn't talking about himself this time because Kurt is there crosses his mind, Kurt knows instinctively it's not true. It's the way Blaine talks, the easiness with which he takes on the mentor role; the way, also, the others approach Blaine, ask him for advice, listen to him.

And slowly the pieces in Kurt's mind fall together: the unexpected but resolute choice for Psychology, the internship applications, the late Thursday nights when Blaine would come home from the support group exhausted, unwilling to talk, contemplative and withdrawn. Not because he had been talking about his own problems for too long, but because he had been shouldering others'. Because that was why Blaine was here: not for himself, but for them.

.

After the session draws to a close, and Blaine spends another five minutes quietly talking to Alex a little away from the others, slipping him a piece of paper Kurt is sure contains Blaine's number, they say their goodbyes and start the short walk home.

"So," Blaine asks slowly as they exit the building and turn left, clearly fighting to keep his voice level, "are you okay? I know it was a little heavy today with Alex, I'm sorry, I didn't kn-"

"It's okay," Kurt interrupts him, putting his hand on Blaine's arm. "I mean, yes, it was heavy but... I'm glad I came."

"You are?" Blaine asks, unsure and still just a little bit apprehensive, and Kurt nods.

"I am. It was... interesting - seeing you in your natural habitat."

He chuckles when Blaine shoots him a surprised look, but soon enough -and much to his relief- he sees the corners of Blaine's mouth curl up in a smile, and Kurt slips his arm through Blaine's.

"They seemed like a nice group of people."

"They are," Blaine says, and Kurt can hear the warmth in his voice. "There's a lot of people coming and going, of course, but we have this little core group - myself and Mark and George and Jacqueline and B-"

He cuts himself off before he can finish his sentence and Kurt can feel how he tenses up, glancing at Kurt uncomfortably. It's odd, after how easygoing and open Blaine had been all night, but Kurt immediately understands why when Blaine finally continues.

"... and Brad," he says warily, eyeing Kurt carefully. "Brad usually comes too."

Even just the mention of the name sends a painful jolt through Kurt's stomach, and he silently thanks whatever deity he doesn't believe in for making Brad chose this week to get sick, or be on holidays, or to just simply not feeling like coming.

"I asked him not to come, today."

Oh, well... that was a possibility too, of course.

Without even looking Kurt can almost feel Blaine's eyes trained on him, as if he's scared that Kurt's going to explode on him for arranging this without asking him first, but the truth is that Kurt is actually almost grateful. Blaine's bizarre friendship with the guy still is a mystery to him, one that he isn't sure he will ever fully understand, and while he knows Blaine meets up with him regularly -and really he should have guessed Brad was going to the group too, seeing how he and Blaine often met up for dinner on Thursday nights-, he usually tries to keep Brad out of their conversations and out of his mind. As far as he's concerned, the less he sees of Brad the better, and if Blaine anticipates that by making sure they don't accidentally run into each other, he, for one, is not going to complain.

"Thank you," he says, tugging Blaine in just a little closer, but when Blaine looks up at him Kurt knows he understands he's not just thanking him for asking Brad to stay away - he's thanking him for telling Kurt about it, too.

They continue walking in the relative silence of New York at 11pm on a Thursday night, the ever-present rumble of traffic a reassurance that the city is still alive. It's cold, even for mid-November, but all Kurt can think about is Blaine, and how different he'd been tonight.

"This is why you were so adamant about doing Psychology, isn't it?" he finally says, asking the question that has been nagging at him ever since they left the community center. "This is why you only applied for internships with HIV/AIDS organizations."

For a few long seconds Blaine doesn't respond, but then he nods, even though he keeps looking straight ahead.

"I felt like I had to," he says. "It's... I had such a hard time. I gave myself such a hard time. And I just... I don't want anyone else to have to go through all that the way I did. I don't want them to make the same mistakes."

It sounds like another off-hand apology, another way in which Blaine is trying to make things right again, if not for Kurt then at least for himself. Without thinking Kurt slips his hand into Blaine's pocket, grasping his hand and causing Blaine to look at him in surprise, but when Kurt smiles at him he's relieved to see it returned.

"I just want to help people," Blaine continues, a little more confidently, "make a difference. Mark's a good guy, and he's doing a great job, but he doesn't always have the right words. And most of those people simply can't afford a therapist - the support group is the only thing they've got."

"So you always end up taking over Mark's role, then?" Kurt asks. It's a serious question, but he can't help it sounding a little cheeky. Blaine seems to pick up on it too, because he promptly starts laughing.

"Sometimes," he says, grinning, and he rolls his eyes a little when Kurt arches an eyebrow. "Ok, yes - often."

"Then why aren't you group leader?"

"They asked me," Blaine admits hesitantly after a few seconds, although there's a certain sense of pride in his voice, "a couple of weeks back. Mark's been doing it for over 10 years, he kind of wants to take a break. And I already fill in for him sometimes, when he can't make it. But it's just... it's not just being there every week - it's booking the room and administration and we do this fundraiser every year and I don't... I don't know if I have the time for that."

"It would look good on your resume, though," Kurt says, and to his surprise he can feel Blaine stiffen a little next to him. "I mean... if that's the direction you want to go with your degree anyway..."

For a while, they continue in silence, and just as Kurt starts wondering if he said something wrong Blaine starts talking again.

"I don't... I don't want people to look at my CV and see that I'm positive," he says a little feebly, and Kurt frowns as he turns his head to look at him.

"But you're doing those internships," he says, not quite understanding.

"Anybody could do an internship with an AIDS organization," Blaine counters. "There's a billion reasons you would want to go there, or just end up there. But the group..." Blaine heaves a breath. "You don't lead an HIV/AIDS support group without being positive yourself."

"Why are you hiding?"

Kurt blurts out the words, but even as he says them he finds that they holds more truth than he expected them to.

"You were so confident in there," he says, stopping them in the middle of the sidewalk and turning Blaine by his arm to face him. "You were so strong - like you knew who you were and you weren't ashamed of it: you used it for the better. I've never seen you like that before, not even when you're performing. And then you come out here and you hide it all away, like you don't want people to know the real you."

"Because they don't want to know the real me, Kurt," Blaine says with a sad, resigned smile, shaking his head. "The real me is scary and contagious - it would just make them feel uncomfortable."

He turns around to continue walking but Kurt pulls him back. He needs to stop him, because with every step they take away from the community center Blaine seems to lose a little more of himself. Kurt had never given it any thought before, but seeing the way Blaine had acted in group there had been something extra in his smile, just a little more fire in his speech, a little more sincerity in his support - as if the Blaine he'd come to know for the past three years is just a black-and-white version, and now for the first time he'd gotten a glimpse of just who Blaine could be if he would allow himself to show all his colors.

"So educate them," he insists. "Show them they shouldn't be uncomfortable, that there's nothing to be scared about."

It's enough to make Blaine stop to look at him, the look in his eyes equal parts confusion and surprise, and Kurt forces himself to continue talking, because he's not sure if he'll ever have the courage to say this again, to really believe it as he does in this moment.

"You're hiding the best part of you, Blaine. You were sixteen and you made a mistake, but you managed to overcome it as good as you could, and now you haven't even graduated yet and you're already helping other people. Shouldn't that be something to be proud of instead of something to hide away? Shouldn't that be something that people should see?"

"I think I've made more than one mistake," Blaine mumbles, so soft Kurt almost doesn't hear, and Kurt steps forward, taking Blaine's other hand as well.

"We all have," he says gently, although the look in his eyes doesn't leave room for protest. "Blaine... those people in the group... they rely on you. Even just being there once it's obvious to me just how much you help them, every week. But we need help too, Blaine. Me, and Mercedes, and everyone else on the outside. Because it's great that you're there for them every week, but when they go home to their family and their friends and the girl they fancy, they go back to the prejudice and the misunderstanding too. I would know - I was that friend. I sometimes still am. And where does that leave them? So why don't you stand up? Why don't you tell us, the way you tell them, that it's ok?"

He's slightly out of breath when he finishes, looking down at Blaine pleadingly only to see him stare back at Kurt, taken aback and surprised, and Kurt's not even sure whether he managed to get his point across - that Blaine could think bigger, that he could do more not despite the fact that he made mistakes, but because of it.

Blaine doesn't reply, letting go of their hands instead, cupping Kurt's cheek and softly caressing it. There's a shimmer in his eye that looks vaguely like pride but could be affection too -and maybe it's both- and for a fleeting second Kurt is convinced Blaine's going to kiss him. But just like that the moment is gone, and Blaine drops his hand again.

"Come on," he says, wrapping his arm around Kurt. "Let's go home."