"Kurt is my soul mate. I know that I've hurt him badly, but I also know that if I want to get him back, I have to do something bold."

This was the moment.

Truth be told, Blaine had been avoiding the question for a week, because it just never seemed like the right time. Every time he looked at Kurt to ask, Kurt suddenly got an incoming text message or started a new branch of conversation or had the sun hitting his face in that perfect way and looked so far out of Blaine's league that it wasn't even funny. More than a few times, if he was being honest, the words swelled from the depths of his being only to get stuck in his throat. He was pathetic. For all of his big talk to Sam and even Kurt's dad, Blaine was still nervous because of that what if.

What if his world came crashing down around him again? What if this final attempt at salvaging their relationship failed? What if he had truly lost Kurt forever? What if?

But Blaine knew it had to be now. He'd been telling himself that for the last day and a half because Kurt was going to be in New York again and then he could be with Adam or any other guy he wanted. Blaine couldn't let that happen. He had to put away his anxiety and somehow ask before Kurt left. Unfortunately, Kurt left for the airport in about three hours now.

"It's going to be okay."

"How do you know that, though?"

That being said, in this moment, it still wasn't the driving force behind Blaine's sudden decisiveness. He wasn't sure what it was exactly. They were just lying on Kurt's bed, talking. Now that Kurt wasn't worrying about his dad's cancer (as much) and Blaine wasn't busy with practice for Regionals, they had more time to catch up on the daily drudgery of each other's lives. Kurt was describing New York life and his busy schedule as both a Vogue intern and a NYADA student, which didn't bother Blaine nearly as much as it used to. It was kind of peaceful. Actually, it reminded him of their coffee date after Kurt's trip to the city for Nationals. He was simply overcome by his love for Kurt Hummel and the words just slipped out.

"Will you marry me?"

He didn't register the words at first but then didn't regret them once he had. He was glad they were out there. Blaine wasn't even worried about how Kurt's eyes had widened and he had stopped talking altogether. The shock must have been a lot, just like when Blaine had said "I love you." In this moment, though, Blaine knew that Kurt wouldn't say no.

"Blaine," Kurt started, eyes still wide and voice hushed, "You can't be serious."

Ouch. That hurt.

"Look, Kurt." Deep breath. "I told you a long time ago: I've been looking for you forever. I love you. You're it for me. We'll both be in New York next year and we can finally get ma-"

"Don't say it." Kurt sat up in a cross-legged position, elbows resting on his thighs and fingers massaging his temples. Blaine's gaze followed the movements, confusion and hurt welling up. Sure, he'd been expecting to have to convince Kurt to an extent, but was the idea of marriage really so awful?

"Kurt..." But he was at a loss. What did he say now?

"Are you insane?" Kurt finally asked, looking up. "Blaine, you're still in high school. We don't live in the same city or even the same state. We're not even dating!"

That was the real slap in the face, and it brought the memory of Burt's reaction back full force.

"Are you kidding or are you nuts?"

"Well, it's not for lack of trying on my part!" With no other options, Blaine was left frustrated beyond belief. There has to be a solution to the situation. But what was he to do when Kurt rejected his every attempt? "I know I hurt you – terribly – and I'm not trying to trivialize it but I know we're meant to be together. Why doesn't anyone get that?"

"Blaine." Somehow, the syllable was breathed out in a sigh that sounded both exasperated and patronizing. Kurt set his hand on Blaine's shoulder and began rubbing soothing circles. "That's not what this is about."

"Just... do you imagine marrying someone else now?" Blaine asked, broken. "I was so sure that we would still end up together... Am I really just wasting my time?"

"No, it's not..." Kurt let out a noise of complete frustration. "That's not it. I don't imagine myself marrying anyone right now."

"So..."

"So..." Kurt wasn't sure what to say. How should he know? He was just as clueless right now. "I do still love you. I swear I'm not trying to lead you on. I'm not going to lie, though. I'm not sure I'm... ready for more." He met Blaine's eyes, saw the disappointment. "I'm not sure that, as a couple, we're ready. In about... five hours I'm going to be on a plane to New York again. We didn't handle the distance so well last time. Neither of us did."

Kurt's eyes were sad now, regretful, looking back to moments of the past.

Blaine shrugged off Kurt's hand, which had still been resting on his shoulder, so that he could turn to face him better."I'm not going to do that again, though. That's my whole point!"

"But you're missing my point. I'm not sure that I can do a long-distance relationship," Kurt shot right back. "I'm not sure I would be a good boyfriend right now. I don't have the time to give anyone the attention that they'd deserve. If we got together now, it wouldn't be that different than if we were just friends, and there'd be hurt feelings because it should be different. You deserve more, because you matter. We both do."

"But..." Blaine wasn't quite ready to give this up, to go back to wallowing. "If you accepted the stupid ring, there would at least be that. There would be the promise that we were going to be something more." He'd have something to think of whenever he thought of Kurt being so far away.

"You didn't actually buy a ring, did you?"

"I did." Suddenly, Blaine was like a giddy puppy, jumping for his backpack that was just on the floor. He pulled out the velvety box reverently. Another deep breath and he turned to show it to Kurt, who could only look at him in shock. "I got something simple. I was thinking of getting it engraved, but I wanted to have it before you left... I needed to give it to you before you left."

Kurt took the box carefully. He stared at it a moment without opening it, glancing at Blaine occasionally.

"Blaine..." There were tears in his eyes. Tears were good in this situation, right? "I... I can't. I- We can't do this." And Blaine's hopes deflated again. What now? Kurt set the box down, still without opening it, and continued to look at it as though it would bite him if he took his eyes away. "Once upon a time, I would have accepted in a heartbeat, but I know now that we still have so much more to live through, together and apart, before we're ready for this."

"But Kurt," Blaine pleaded, "we can final-"

"It doesn't matter if we can do it, Blaine," Kurt cut in, sharp and swift, but then his tone softened. "Marriage isn't something you do to save a relationship or fix one. You don't marry someone because you're afraid it won't last; you marry someone because you know it will. It's a big deal."

"You don't really get what it is to be married... It's just a really big difference between marrying a person and marrying an idea."

"I love you. We love each other. We will last." He couldn't let this go, because there was still that tiny what if. What if they didn't?

"If we're still together, then we'll come back to this in a few years. We can do that." Kurt smiled. "But we may be different people by then. I know I've already changed since graduation, and I'm sure I'll change more. You'll change, too. If we grow apart, that's okay. You can't force things like this."

Blaine wasn't sure what hurt more, the rejection itself or being told by the love of his life that it would be okay for them to drift apart. He didn't want to, didn't think he could mature to the point of not loving Kurt. What if Kurt outgrew him because he wouldn't let them grow together?

"And... maybe you should see other people." Blaine whipped his head up from where it'd been looking down at his hands. Kurt had redirected his gaze to the other side of the room, clearly uncomfortable. "Only if you want to, of course, but know that it's okay to be attracted to other people. Like I said, I'm not trying to lead you on. It's not fair of me to monopolize you. Even when you get to New York, you might want to try dating some of the guys you meet there. I'd be willing to wait."

"Kurt..." Blaine started carefully. "I'm not sure I understand what you're telling me. Sometimes... you talk like we'll get back together, but other times you say that we won't. You want to be together because you still have feelings for me, but you don't want to be together. What does that mean? What do I do with that?"

"No! Well, yes. I mean," Kurt breathed a frustrated huff, unable to get his thoughts out correctly. "I mean that I know we still love each other. We're just not in the right place to do it right now. Sometimes, love's not enough. If you come to New York and still want me – us – then we can try again. In the meantime, we'll focus on ourselves."

"So... you'll wait for me?" Blaine questioned with a small, hopeful grin.

Kurt rocked forward to press their foreheads together, letting his eyes close. "Yes," he breathed against the other's lips. "I guess I will. But remember that there's more to life than us, and remember that you have other options, if you want."

"I don't."

"But you can."

They sat together in companionable silence, one having given up way more than he'd intended and the other having come out with much less than he'd intended. They breathed each other's air, coming to terms with their truce.

"Kurt," Blaine whispered, afraid to break the silence and find that their past conversation hadn't happened at all.

"Hmm?"

"Can I... Can I please kiss you?"

Kurt pulled back, opening his eyes. No, don't leave. Forget I said anything. He checked the time, figuring out how much longer he had before he needed to leave. He glanced at Blaine, debating. Was this really good for either of them? Did he honestly care?

"Okay."

Suddenly, their lips were locked together and it was just as both remembered: passionate, loving, effortless. Without breaking contact, Blaine got up on his knees to give himself a height advantage and Kurt's head tilted back to accommodate the shift. Kurt lifted his hands to Blaine's face, cupping his jaw. It was sweet and bitter and almost a goodbye but not quite. Finally, the separated to catch their breath.

"One more." And Kurt pressed his lips back up to meet Blaine's.

Later, after Burt came in to take Kurt to the airport and after Blaine had gone home, he remembered the two kisses they'd shared. The second had been shorter, less intense, but it'd felt like a promise. It was a promise of forever, if both of them were willing to work for it.

"You think you two are meant to be?"

"Yes!"

"Do you think you two have a true love?"

"Yes!"

"Then stop worrying."

He didn't need a ring to prove that they were forever, but maybe he'd keep it anyway.