"What would you do if Blaine proposed to you today?"

When Rachel had asked him that last year, it had shut him up pretty effectively. At the time, though Kurt had been loathe to admit it, Rachel was right. He would have said yes to Blaine had he asked. Whether Blaine had gotten down on one knee with a proper engagement ring or another ring made of gum wrappers, Kurt would have had no choice but to say yes, probably with embarrassing squeals and tears worthy of a thirteen-year-old fangirl. Like Rachel said about Finn, Kurt knew that he and Blaine were meant for each other.

But...

But it still wasn't the same.

"We're better than you are, Rachel. Blaine and I will make it."

He hadn't said it in deference to her feelings, but he'd certainly thought it. He and Blaine had faced crazy hardships together and apart. They weren't as naïve as Rachel. They had been more world-ready two year ago than she is now because of those hardships.

Plus, they were stable. They complimented each other like that. Kurt could be bitchy and passive-aggressive, but Blaine was always there to talk things out and calm him down. In return, Blaine, while usually calm and collected, could be volatile and physically aggressive, and Kurt was there for him during those times. Between the two of them, they always worked out their problems maturely. In contrast, Rachel's self-centered dramatics and Finn's oftentimes-hurtful obliviousness had only led to a sporadic on-again-off-again relationship of ridiculous proportions. They may love each other, may be passionate about each other, but they would never work in the long run. They didn't want the same things, not like he and Blaine did.

Besides, even if he had proposed, Kurt and Blaine legally couldn't get married yet anyway. Who knew how long they'd have to wait? Kurt briefly wondered if Rachel had even thought of that when she'd asked. Probably not.

But, and he'd started daydreaming at some point, they'd have a long engagement no matter what. Kurt wanted to wait until after college, maybe after he'd really gotten his foot in the door in New York theater. He wanted to live together first. He wanted to have silly arguments about conflicting schedules and who was supposed to do the dishes and why didn't we choose that other place again? He wanted to have the serious arguments, too, where one of them would run off and both of them would be in tears. He wanted the pain that came with it, because the making up would be so much better. It would make them so much better. He wanted the mornings waking up together, the lazy days when neither of them are busy, the "I love you" that they would always say when they parted for the day. He wanted to finally get to that day when one of them says, "I think we're really ready to get married."

Kurt had wanted so much, but mostly, he had just wanted Blaine.

Now, only a year later, Kurt could see how foolish he'd been. He was glad that Blaine hadn't asked, glad he hadn't accepted. They still had so much to learn. They hadn't been as prepared as he'd thought.

And maybe he was even a little glad that they'd broken up.

He loved Blaine, still loved Blaine. He could still see them having forever, but first they needed to relearn themselves. They needed to get through the rest of the year apart and living their own lives. They couldn't make huge decisions just based on their relationship. (He cringed whenever he thought about how he'd convinced Blaine to leave Dalton for him. True, it would have been harder, especially with Sebastian lurking, but maybe that's what they really needed.)

They'd both been in the wrong last fall. They could move past it, but they also had to learn from it. Kurt had to remember that he couldn't take Blaine for granted. He had to learn to listen better, because it was so clear now that Blaine had been crying for help for weeks and he'd ignored him. The idea of another's hands on Blaine still sickened him, and maybe that's why he'd been so eager to reacquaint himself with Blaine's body at the not-wedding, so eager to replace the memory of those hands with his own. Maybe he'd just wanted Blaine that much.

Either way, the past year had been an eye-opener. As he looked at Blaine now, only moments after Regionals and the actual wedding, he was happy with where they were. They weren't "hooking up," nor were they awkward around each other. They were friends again. They could tease and vent and just talk like they'd been able to before. Occasionally, when their past relationship was hinted at, they'd freeze, unsure how to proceed for a second. They'd make eye contact, Blaine giving him a look that said "I'm ready for us, but I get that you're not so I'm okay waiting." Then they'd respond and move on.

They'd work their way through the rest of the school year. Then, maybe they'd talk about officially getting together again. Kurt wasn't sure what he and Rachel planned on doing about summer, whether they'd give up their new home in the hopes of finding something again next year or if they'd just stay in New York. He didn't know if Blaine planned on dorms or finding somewhere of his own (or with Kurt?). They had time, though. They could figure it out.

And maybe next year Blaine would see that he wanted to take a break from their relationship anyway. Blaine had never lived in New York or been to NYADA, where gay men wouldn't hesitate to ask him out. Maybe he'd want to do some... exploration of his own.

Kurt could be okay with that. He understood the need for personal growth. He was still growing himself. Even if they were both in New York right now, taking classes at NYADA together, he wouldn't be ready. The pain of Blaine's betrayal still felt too raw at times, and Kurt needed to figure out what to do with that, how to move on from that completely. And maybe Blaine still needed to earn his trust back.

Kurt realized that he'd been staring at Blaine when he looked over at him, eyes crinkled with merriment.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Blaine asked.

"I'm just glad to be here." With you. I'm glad that this is okay again.

Blaine's smile became even more blinding, as if he'd heard the unspoken words. He leaned towards Kurt, maybe to kiss him, but then appeared to think better of it. Instead, he said, "I'm glad you're here, too."

His countenance was suddenly earnest in its seriousness. Then, like a switch had been flipped, he turned back to the celebration.

Kurt's thoughts drifted back to Rachel's words again.

"Look, I know that I have the right person. The scary part was just choosing to know it."

Kurt could see his forever with Blaine, even if he didn't think they were ready to dive in yet.