June 3, 2012, 4:29 p.m.
I Know Not Why: Chapter 9
E - Words: 5,105 - Last Updated: Jun 03, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/10 - Created: Jun 03, 2012 - Updated: Jun 03, 2012 1,076 0 0 0 0
Summer was great. No, summer was fantastic.
Lazy days, no worries, just enjoying each moment.
Kurt had become increasingly more open to walking hand-in-hand with his boyfriend when they went out. Ever since Karofsky was expelled and transferred to a new school, he didn’t stay on edge just waiting for an attack. He’d even heard Karofsky finally came out and was headed to OSU on a football scholarship. Kurt hoped his bully had gained perspective, but refused to waste too much time dwelling on him.
Blaine didn’t seem to hold back when they were together. Kurt could definitely see that Blaine dove head first into something when he was passionate about it. Things finally felt like they were falling into place. This was happiness.
….
A month before classes started, the boys planned a weekend trip to New York City. They had wanted to go just the two of them, but that was quickly shot down by both sets of parents. In his wildest dreams, Kurt never thought that Rachel Berry would be his saving grace. Having also been accepted to NYADA, she said that she’d been looking for a weekend to go explore the city before school started and convinced her dads to serve as chaperones. After a rather entertaining dinner at Rachel’s house with all three sets of parents, Kurt and Blaine finally got approval for the trip.
The day was mostly gone when they arrived on Friday, so they settled for a quick dinner in the hotel’s restaurant and then went to their rooms. Rachel was assigned to stay with the boys, much to their chagrin, and Kurt was fairly confident that he would strangle her before the weekend was over just to make her stop talking.
When Blaine snuggled him close that night, Kurt stopped thinking about Rachel and started thinking about New York.
….
The first day was uneventful and Blaine was relieved. A quick cab ride, staying in a hotel on the outskirts of the touristy areas, a quick dinner, and then sleep. No problems so far.
And then Saturday started and it all seemed to go downhill.
Blaine knew that familiar whine that pulled him from his pleasant dreams. “Okay, girl. Just a minute.” He rolled out of bed and stumbled until he found his suitcase, throwing on a hoodie, jeans, and tennis shoes.
“Blaine?”
“Go back to sleep, Kurt. I have to take Roxy out.”
“Wait, I’ll go with.”
“No, I can do it.”
“Don’t be silly, just give me a second.”
“Kurt, no. I can do this on my own.”
Kurt was quiet and Blaine felt stupid for raising his voice. Rachel started to stir and Blaine quickly fastened Roxy’s harness and left the room.
Blaine asked the doorman where he could take Roxy and the man just laughed and told him to pick a part of the curb. He didn’t want to wander too far, the city being unfamiliar to both him and the dog meant to guide him.
They walked to the curb and Roxy just stood next to him.
“Go potty, girl.”
Roxy hesitated, but followed the command. She’d been used to having free reign of their backyard at home and a designated area at his school. Blaine was sure she was confused with the lack of grass around them. He allowed her to walk a little further down the street, sniffing and stretching her legs. The noises of the city were hard to distinguish. Car horns, people laughing, store fronts opening for the start of the day—it all seemed to come from every direction. Blaine had no point of reference to lead him. They’d walked further than he thought and for a moment as they headed back, Blaine worried that they would walk right past the hotel. He was relieved to hear the doorman call out as he got close.
It took some assistance from another hotel employee for him to get back to the elevators and press the right floor, but he relaxed once the doors closed. Thankfully, he had counted the doors the night before and again that morning, so finding the room was relatively easy.
Blaine removed Roxy’s harness and set his keycard on the side table.
“Hey girl, looks like you’re going to do okay in the big city, eh?”
Kurt sounded unsure and Blaine just wanted to shrink away. “Is Rachel in the bathroom?”
“No, she got dressed and went to her dads’ room. I just got out of the shower, so it’s all yours.”
Blaine grabbed his things and skimmed along the wall until he made it into the bathroom. He turned the shower on as hot as he could stand and said a silent prayer for the rest of the day to be better.
….
They met Rachel and her dads downstairs for a light breakfast before heading off on their adventures.
They stopped at NYADA first, getting the grand tour and finding their dorms. Kurt let himself get lost in the excitement of it all, still feeling like he needed to pinch himself to prove he would be here in another month.
Then it was off to Central Park where they seemed to wander for hours. They’d planned to take a boat tour next, so Blaine excused himself to let Roxy tend to her business again. Kurt took something out of his shoulder bag and walked over to them.
“You know, I’ve read up on it and technically you’re exempt from the pooper-scooper law, but never fear, Roxy, I am here to help.”
“Kurt, do you have a bag? I can clean up after her.”
“It’s fine, I’ve already got it. You know I have to love you a lot to pick up poop.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. There are a lot of things I don’t have to do, but I still do them.”
Kurt saw Blaine purse his lips, obviously biting back a response.
“Come on boys—we’ve got a boat to catch.”
Kurt just watched as Blaine walked back to their group.
….
Rachel and her dads seemed to squeal with delight at every new thing they saw along the boat tour. An older man named Jim pointed out the major points of interest along with a bit of history through the speaker. Kurt described things to Blaine as they passed, but got no response. Blaine looked weary and a little bit bored.
After the cruise, they headed back closer to their hotel to find someplace to eat. Blaine barely spoke through dinner, but Rachel filled the silence so no one else noticed.
Blaine finally perked up as they walked down Broadway, Kurt listing off the theaters and shows that they passed. The sidewalk was filled with people arriving for the Saturday night shows and Blaine grabbed onto Kurt’s arm hard as a passerby jostled him. Kurt let Rachel take over the commentary after that.
When they got to the middle of Times Square, Rachel squealed and ran up the TKTS stairs.
Kurt watched Blaine who had now taken his hand back once the crowd thinned.
“You want to walk up the steps? I hear it’s a must-do in Times Square.”
“Are there a lot of people on them?”
“It’s not packed, but there are quite a few. If we walk along the side, the rail will help. Here, just grab my arm.”
Instead, Blaine reached unsteadily to the side to find the rail. “Go ahead, I’ll meet you up there.”
Kurt sighed but walked several steps up before looking back at Blaine. He was thankful that people seemed to take notice of Blaine and Roxy and moved out of the way as a courtesy. Blaine tentatively took the steps up, letting Roxy lead him. He bumped into someone that Roxy had tried to lead him around, but he refused to let go of the rail. Blaine apologized profusely and stood there for a moment before continuing to climb. When he reached the top, a smile lit up his face and Kurt couldn’t help but smile as well.
“So, Mr. Anderson. You are standing in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by thousands of lights and billboards and people. How do you feel?”
“Completely overwhelmed.”
Kurt frowned at that. “Do you want me to describe it?”
Blaine bit his lip and nodded.
Kurt crowded in close to whisper in his ear. He described every color, every billboard, every illuminated building. When he pulled away, Blaine’s eyes shone with unshed tears.
“I wish I could see it.”
“Me too.” Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hands and started to pull him to the side. “Let’s go back down.”
Blaine pulled his hand away and again reached out for the railing. “I can do it with Roxy.”
This time Kurt let him go first. Blaine took each step slowly, skimming his hand along the side rather than holding it in a death grip. On the second-to-last step, he faltered and fell forward onto the sidewalk. He quickly got up, but several strangers came close to make sure he was okay.
Kurt rubbed his back and Blaine recoiled. “Are you o—“
“I’m fine, I just scraped my hand. Can we go back to the hotel?”
“Yah, sure. Rachel, you guys keep exploring without us. We’ll see you back at the hotel.”
Rachel just nodded and both of her dads looked like they wanted to speak up or offer comfort of some kind, but Kurt just shook his head.
They walked back to the hotel in silence, Kurt lightly holding the wrist of Blaine’s scraped hand as he lead him.
Back in the room, Blaine went straight to the bathroom to run his hand under cool water.
“Here, let me look. I have my trusty first aid kit.”
“It’s fine, Kurt. It’s just a scratch.”
“Even so, let me at least disinfect it.”
“Just leave it there and I’ll do it.”
“Blaine…”
“What?!”
Kurt flinched at the tone and volume of the word.
“I didn’t mean to yell. Just please, I don’t need you to do it, I need to do it myself.”
“I know you don’t need me to do everything for you, but why won’t you let me do some things for you? I’m trying to be helpful.”
“I have to be able to do things on my own or I’ll never make it.”
“You can’t possibly do everything by yourself – no one can.”
“Well, I need to do as much as I can.”
“You’ve set some unrealistic expectation that you’ll never achieve. Why are you so upset about this?”
“Because I can’t become dependent on you! Don’t you understand that?
“What? We depend on each other. Why won’t you let me help?”
“Because one day you’ll leave me.”
“What?”
Blaine let out an exasperated sigh. “Forget it.”
“No, no, no. What do you mean that I’ll leave you?”
Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. “One day you’re going to realize that I’m too much trouble or that there’s someone else out there that’s better. Someone that’s not so needy. Someone that can drive to the store, or hang a picture on the wall, or walk up and down some stupid stairs instead of stumbling and falling. You need someone that can look you in the eyes when they tell you how beautiful you are. I’m never going to be able to do any of that. I know you want to get married eventually and one day you’ll want to bring a beautiful child into your life and you and that child both deserve more than me.”
Kurt brought his hand to cover his gaping mouth as he stared in shock at the tears streaming down Blaine’s face.
“Oh my god, Blaine…”
Blaine pushed past him out of the bathroom and sat on the bed with his face in his hands.
“Is that what you think?” Blaine didn’t lift his head. “That I’m just with you until a better option comes along? That I’m patiently waiting for my real dream guy to come along?”
“No, not like that. Eventually you’ll get tired of me. I’m your first boyfriend and you’re about to move to a huge city with so many single guys that would kill to be with you.”
Kurt knelt on the floor in front of Blaine. “First boyfriend or not, I don’t want any of them. I love you and you’re the only one I want to be with.”
“For now.”
“I can’t tell the future, Blaine. But when I imagine that life you described many years down the road – getting married and having children. You are the only one I picture by my side.”
“Kurt…”
“No, stop it. You have to let me help. Stop pushing me away. You have to let me love you.”
“Don’t I embarrass you though? I can’t walk down a busy street without latching onto you. I tripped and fell in the middle of Times Square.”
“You act like no one has ever done that before.”
“I was so embarrassed. And I could just feel their pitying eyes on me.”
Kurt took Blaine’s uninjured hand in his own. “I need you to hear what I’m about to say to you, Blaine. I mean this with every fiber of my being. I love you so much. And I am so proud to be with you.”
Blaine took a deep breath trying to calm himself and stop the tears.
“I hope so. I want you to be.”
Kurt rubbed circles on Blaine’s thighs to soothe him. When Blaine seemed all cried out, Kurt retrieved the first aid kid from the bathroom and gingerly tended to the scrapes on Blaine’s hand. They both changed into their pajamas, nightly routine forgotten as they climbed into bed without another word. Kurt waited until he heard Blaine’s breathing even out before he let himself fall asleep as well.
….
The next day was better. They woke up in a tangle of limbs, too hot under the covers, but happy just to be together.
Blaine had reached a breaking point and said things he never wanted Kurt to know. His fears, his insecurities… all laid bare before him. And somehow Kurt knew just what to say. It didn’t solve everything – Blaine still had those same worries, but he felt more confident in this beautiful man that he loved and who loved him back.
They continued their tour of the city’s tourist attractions, another beautiful day.
After a quick rest and change at the hotel, they found a well-reviewed French bistro just around the corner from their hotel for an early dinner. The place was bustling, but Kurt assured them it would be worth the wait based on what he’d read.
“Oh no, I forgot my phone back in the room.”
“That’s okay, we’ve got several others between us should you need to make a call.”
“No, it’s just that with my dad… I always have to have my phone just in case. I’m going to run back really quick and get it since we have to wait anyway.”
“Kurt, we won’t even be here that long. Do you really need it? You can call your dad from my phone and let him know if you’re that worried.”
“I’m sorry, I just worry. I’d feel better if I had it. I promise I’ll be right back.”
“You can’t go alone.”
“Okay, okay. Rachel?”
“Yes! I would love to run to the hotel with you, Kurt!”
Blaine noted that she was awfully enthusiastic about the situation.
“We’ll be back in fifteen minutes – tops.”
It was awkward at first, being alone with Rachel’s dads, but they made conversation easy. Shortly after they were seated, Rachel and Kurt returned.
“Sorry, that took longer than I thought.”
Blaine could hear them both breathing heavily as if they really had run the whole way.
….
After dinner, the Berrys went off towards Broadway and Kurt said he wanted to go back to Times Square. Blaine inwardly groaned, but was also thankful to get a break from Rachel. The girl was like a really self-centered Energizer bunny on crack.
As they walked in the cool evening air, Blaine smiled.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
“I love this. Walking hand-in-hand with you in New York.”
“Many more nights like this to come.”
That drew another smile from Blaine. “I can’t wait.”
“Hey, actually, do you mind if we just head back to the hotel? I kind of just want to veg.”
“Your last night in New York and you don’t want to see more bright lights of the big city?”
“They’re not going anywhere.”
Blaine nodded and they slowly made their way back to the hotel.
The second the hotel room door was opened Blaine knew something was different.
“Kurt? What did—“
“Just come in.”
Blaine walked in and was enveloped by the sweet floral scent in the room.
“So, I may have slightly fibbed earlier when I told you I forgot my phone.”
“And by ‘slightly fibbed’ you mean you lied to come back here and put flowers in the room?”
“I have a surprise for you.”
“I don’t normally like surprises, but I think I might like where this is going.”
Kurt kissed him sweetly then. Short close-mouthed pecks that made Blaine’s lips tingle.
“We won’t have a lot of time—Rachel can only entertain herself for so long walking around the different theaters.”
“Trust me, Blaine. We’ve got plenty of time. I bribed Rachel with tickets for her and her dads to Chicago. And when the show is over, she’s going to pretend like she doesn’t want to wake us and sleep in their room tonight.”
“Don’t you think they’ll be a little suspicious?”
“Who cares? I want you all to myself.”
Kurt kissed him again then, less sweet and filled with want. Blaine was starting to lose himself in the kiss when Kurt abruptly pulled away.
“No, come back.”
“I want to give you all my surprises though.”
Blaine pouted and Kurt poked him in the side, effectively making him giggle and erasing the pout.
“So, first, I wanted the room to smell amazing.”
“Is that lavender?”
“Hyacinths. I saw them at the vendor earlier and bought every one he had.”
“It’s lovely.”
“I’m glad you like. Now come sit.”
Kurt pulled him to the end of the bed and plopped them both down unceremoniously. He felt something smooth run along his bottom lip.
“Open.”
Blaine smirked, but did as he was told. The chocolate immediately started to melt against his tongue and he took a small bite.
“Mmm, chocolate covered strawberries. Also very nice.”
“I thought some dessert would be good.”
They fed each other the strawberries until the plate was empty. Blaine pushed Kurt back and kissed him enthusiastically, licking his way into Kurt’s mouth. He felt a hand against his chest, pushing lightly and then Kurt broke the kiss.
“Wait here, I have one more surprise.”
Blaine flipped onto his back and threw an arm over his face. He heard faint music coming from the bathroom along with running water.
He pushed himself up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. Kurt met him at the door and started unbuttoning Blaine’s shirt. Blaine let himself be undressed, placing his hand on Kurt’s shoulder while he stepped out of his pants and boxers. He felt the smooth skin under his touch.
“If you wanted to get me naked, Kurt, you really didn’t have to go to all this trouble.” He’d meant it teasingly, but Kurt took several moments before he responded.
“I want to make everything special for you. You deserve that. Now come take a bath with me.”
The water was hot – probably hotter than he would normally like, but it felt amazing as it engulfed his tired body. He settled back into Kurt who was already lightly massaging his shoulders.
“Just relax.” The music played softly in the background and Kurt gently washed his body.
Kurt’s breath was hot against his ear as he whispered. “One day…” A small kiss behind his ear. “I’m going to break you of this helmet hair.”
Blaine chuckled and then let out a contented sigh as Kurt shampooed and massaged his head.
They stayed there until the water turned cool. Blaine had a feeling of complete bliss.
Blaine stood still on the bathroom mat as Kurt dried every inch of him with the towel. He briefly thought that he should be embarrassed being so exposed, but all he felt was safe and loved. The cool air sent a chill through his body.
“Do you want a bathrobe?” Kurt was still bent in front of him and the thought sent another shiver through him.
Blaine shook his head, not trusting his voice.
“Okay.” Kurt slowly rose, his hands running from ankle to shoulder up Blaine’s side. They stood there, only the soft sound of the music playing in the background, Kurt’s hands rubbing gently at his shoulders.
“Kurt?”
“You’re so beautiful.” The way Kurt said it with such reverence made Blaine blush. “Let’s go to bed.”
Blaine let himself be led back to the bed and lay side-by-side with Kurt.
“We can just go to sleep.”
Blaine grinned wickedly. “So you did all of this just so we could go to bed early on our last night in New York?”
“No, I did it to make you happy. But I didn’t expect anything tonight.”
“I’m just teasing you.” He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Kurt’s forehead. “Thank you for doing this.”
He leaned in again and captured Kurt’s lips in a much more passionate kiss. Pressing him back into the pillows, Blaine could feel his skin burning everywhere he touched Kurt. When they pulled apart for a desperate breath, Blaine’s body still casually rocked against Kurt’s hip, the friction making him harder.
“Kurt…”
“I’m here, baby.”
“Can we…”
“Anything.”
“I want you.”
“You have me.”
“No. Want you inside me.”
Kurt pushed back, flipping them so Blaine was against the pillows, pinning him with another eager kiss. “Yes, yes, oh yes.”
Kurt pulled away slightly and Blaine whined at the loss of contact.
“Let me just get the… stuff.”
The cold air chilled his body, but then Kurt was back on him kissing more franticly. Kurt’s tongue explored his mouth and all Blaine could do was lay back and submit. It felt amazing.
Kurt pulled away from his lips, but started a trail of kisses along his jaw and neck. When he bit lightly on the side of his neck, Blaine’s hips jerked up seemingly against his will.
Everywhere Kurt kissed and sucked felt hot, a tingling path of pleasure. But when he moved to a new spot, the cool air on the wet trail speckled his skin with goosebumps.
“Let me take care of you.”
Blaine took in a shuddery breath and Kurt licked his nipple. He wanted to say something, do something, but he could only focus on Kurt’s mouth trailing down his body. Hot and cool and soft and wet.
Kurt kissed and sucked along his stomach and elicited a high moan as he took his cock in one hand. His movement was slow, barely stroking, still focused on kissing every inch of Blaine’s body. Blaine couldn’t stop his hips from canting up. Kurt stopped kissing him and placed his free hand on Blaine’s hip. Before Blaine could complain about the loss of warmth, he felt Kurt tentatively lick the tip of his dick.
“Oh god.”
This seemed to encourage Kurt as he wrapped his lips around the head and slowly took more and more into his mouth. Blaine’s body was on fire; he’d never felt anything like this. The hand on his hip kept him effectively pinned, so Blaine reached up and wound one hand in Kurt’s hair, applying the slightest pressure to urge Kurt down further. His hips bucked up when Kurt rolled his balls in his other hand and then Kurt pulled off as he coughed and sputtered.
“Kurt, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, I’m fine.”
And then Kurt’s mouth was back, tongue licking up the side of his dick and then down over his balls. Blaine felt a finger rub over his entrance and he clenched and bucked at the same time.
“Please…”
“Yah, okay…”
Kurt’s voice sounded as desperate to Blaine as his own. He felt Kurt shuffling on the bed and then he resituated between Blaine’s legs.
Hot hands pressed his legs up to bend, while simultaneously spreading him. A soft kiss was placed on each of his thighs before a slick finger was back at his puckered hole.
“God, you look amazing like this.”
Blaine just whined in response. He was fairly convinced he’d forgotten the entire English language, reduced to only sounds to express his wants and reactions.
The finger slowly started to push in and Blaine immediately tensed. Kurt rubbed his thigh in comfort. “Relax.”
Blaine took a deep breath, unable to focus on anything other than the finger that had barely breached his hole.
After a few more breaths, the finger pushed in slowly and then stopped. It didn’t hurt, it just felt different. The finger twisted and then slowly pumped in and out. A second slicked finger began circling his hole before both were pressed in. He could feel the stretch and how the fingers dragged along his inner walls. After another minute, he heard Kurt opening the lube again and then three fingers pushed in. He hissed at the pain and Kurt distracted him with kitten licks along his balls. He focused on trying to relax and then the fingers inside him twisted and rubbed against a spot that had him throwing his head back with a gasp. Kurt rubbed against the spot again and Blaine was sure he could die completely happy in this moment.
“Kurt… now.”
“Do you want to turn over? I heard it—“
“No, like this. Please, Kurt.”
His fingers were gone and Blaine immediately missed the fullness inside. Kurt tapped his side and got him to lift his hips so he could put a pillow under him.
Blaine tried to spread his legs even wider and Kurt came back to settle between them. Kurt was ever so lightly rubbing up and down his thighs and Blaine felt so cared for by the soothing gesture.
“You’re ready?”
Blaine nodded his head quickly and reached forward to touch Kurt. A hand met him halfway and then pressed a soft kiss to his palm. Blaine felt Kurt line himself up and start to push the head of his cock in. Blaine’s mouth fell open but no sound came out and Kurt slowly pushed in until he was flush against him. This time, the fullness hurt and he desperately willed his body to relax. Kurt’s heaviness settled over him and Blaine pulled him down for a desperate kiss. Kurt pulled out slowly and then pressed back in, finding a steady rhythm. He hit that spot inside again and Blaine moaned desperately into Kurt’s mouth, the pain now being consumed by the pleasure.
Blaine brought his legs up around Kurt and tried to pull him closer. His arms clung to Kurt’s back, the sweat covering both of their bodies making them slide against each other. Kurt began moving faster and Blaine practically wailed from the pleasure. He couldn’t focus on anything except the steady drag, in and out. There was no space between them as they rocked and panted together. He felt Kurt shift and Blaine was suddenly overwhelmed as Kurt simultaneously hit his prostate and began pumping his dick. Before he could even think twice, he was coming hard and silent between them. Kurt groaned and snapped his hips forward half a dozen more times before he stilled on top of Blaine.
Blaine ran his hands along every inch of Kurt he could touch. His brain was unfocused, still riding the high of his orgasm. Kurt breathed heavy in his ear before slowly pulling out and away.
“No, Kurt, please…” He didn’t care if he was whining and begging.
“I’m here.” His warm body pressed close to Blaine and turned them so they were lying on their sides, spooning.
Blaine pulled Kurt’s arm over him and shifted so they were as close as possible. He was overheated, still sweating, and couldn’t calm his breathing. For a brief moment he thought he might actually pass out from the sensory overload. But then Kurt kissed his shoulder and the cool air in the room combined with the sweat on his body made him shiver.
“Was that… was it okay?”
Kurt sounded breathless and so unsure of himself. Blaine nodded his head and interlocked his fingers with Kurt’s. “I love you, Kurt.”
“I love you, too, Blaine.”
They lay there on top of the covers, the faint sounds of the city in the distance. If ever there were a perfect moment, Blaine was sure it was this. As he started to drift off to sleep, he was certain of one thing.
With this city and this boy, his dreams were coming true.
….